


Relentless

by KayteeBarnes



Series: Reckless [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Aggressive Bucky Barnes, Amnesia, Anger, Angst and Feels, Brooding, Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship, F/M, Fluff, Hydra (Marvel), Marvel Universe, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Protective Bucky Barnes, Romance, SHIELD, Violence, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-11-30
Packaged: 2018-04-05 23:20:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 99,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4198884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KayteeBarnes/pseuds/KayteeBarnes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sequel to Reckless - Have a read of that first, to make better sense of this one :)<br/>Talented Shield agent Zara Jones was presumed dead in the battle against Hydra when she was shot while protecting her super soldier boyfriend, Bucky Barnes. Fallen organization Hydra are try to claw their way back, using Zara after rehabilitating her, and molding her to be their perfect soldier. Bucky sets out to get his girl back, and help her find herself again with the help of the Shield team.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo, start of Reckless, phase 2 :P Thank you all so fucking much for all your comments and kudos on my story, you all rock, and are the reason I sit up till all hours of the morning at my computer. That and now *I* kinda wanna know what's going on with the world of Bucky Barnes and Zara Jones.
> 
> Bucky goes looking for Zara and kills a bunch of people. We have a very angry, frustrated Bucky Barnes around Stark Tower as he goes by his day to day life at Shield. Bucky finally starts coming out of his shell a little for the first time in the 6 months since Zara died (and was found alive) and a new character is introduced. Enjoy!

  
  
Bucky Barnes crouched low on the rooftop, hidden by the dark of night and the blizzard-like conditions. The icy wind whipped at his hair, but his eyes stayed focused on the back door of the warehouse, unblinking and not daring to move.  
Shield intelligence picked up Hydra activity in the area and they were conveniently tipped off that this was the place they'd be.  
Bucky knew it would be dangerous, why would they lead him there unless they wanted to capture him, or worse? He hadn't cared about his own safety, instead jumping at the chance to get Zara out of their clutches. She'd already been missing for long enough. It had been 2 weeks since his encounter with her, and he was growing anxious to find her.  
There was a lot they could do to someone in 2 weeks, and she didn't look so good that night in the alley. She had been so thin, so worn out, and he couldn't even think about the look she had given him.  
  
  
He had gone back to Shield that night, wounded and like always the medical staff there had done an exemplary job at stitching him back up. Steve had rushed to the infirmary on hearing that Bucky had been shot, and even in the bleeding, horrible state he was, there was hope in his eyes and his expression had softened.  
Steve had set out to inform Tony, Coulson, Natasha and anyone else that mattered to Zara, and together they had put their heads together to come up with a plan. It was agreed unanimously amongst them all that they would keep the news on Zara between hush-hush until they knew more. The intelligence sector got straight onto her case, tracking her movements as much as possible.  
  
  
Bucky's gaze intensified as his eyes locked onto the door on the warehouse move, opening slowly and quietly. He got into position and pointed his sniper rifle down, watching as two men emerged, carrying a duffel bag. He peered through the scope, waiting for her. A third man came out the door, closing it behind him quietly.  
Bucky followed them with the barrel of his gun as they quickly made their way down the alley way, his jaw set and lips pressed together. They approached a parked car and the third man hurried to unlock it.  
Bucky blew out a frustrated breath. She wasn't with them, yet another no-show.  
"Where the fuck are you, Zara?" He muttered under his breath.  
He stood to leave, aiming the rifle and shooting all three of them dead. Three perfect heart-shots. He threw the rifle down angrily, swearing loudly. This was the fifth Hydra stakeout where he'd sat out in the snow for hours, waiting and she hadn't been there. He hated knowing she was alive and in the hands of those assholes. God only knows what they were doing to her, was she injured, was she in cryo? Were there even any cryo facilites left after they'd blown all the bases to smithereens?  
Bucky clenched his jaw, bent to pick the rifle up and jumped down from the roof. He strode over to the bodies on the ground, quickly checking them for anything of use they may be carrying, collected the bag and made his way back to the building.  
  
  
He walked through the front door, in his usual 'angry strut' as Natasha nicknamed it, lips pressed together in annoyance. This was his way of letting anyone around him know that if they said a word to him, it might be the last thing they'd say for a while.  
Bucky swiped his card, walking straight into Tony's lab without being invited in, and dropped the bag on his desk, right on top of whatever it was he was working on.  
"Are you fucking serious, Barnes?" Tony said, exasperated, soldering iron still hot in his hand. "You almost crushed my work"  
"Thought you might wanna take a look at some Hydra tech." Bucky said back, a flat, bored tone to his voice.  
Tony's expression brightened like a kid who'd just been handed a lollipop. He unzipped the bag and started going through it.  
"I'll leave you to it." Bucky said, turning to leave.  
"No luck tonight, Barnes?" Tony piped up.  
"No."  
  
  
Bucky walked into his apartment, and shrugged out of his leather jacket, setting it over a dining chair. He opted to stay in his tight black T-Shirt as he poured a glass of Jack Daniels, drinking it straight in one gulp.  
He blew out a breath and turned to pick the framed picture of him and Zara, gazing into it fondly, before placing it gently back on the shelf. He had cleaned the room back up again, even had the knife, and what was left of the lamp stand removed from the wall. It had been re-plastered and repainted.  
Dinner had been brought up to the room for him by a member of Tony's staff. Bucky still wasn't up for the festive dinner table chit-chat, and opted to eat alone in his room. Nobody bothered to argue with him - they figured if that's what made him happy, then so be it.  
He finished his plate and covered it again, leaving the tray outside the door where it would be collected later on.  
He ran the shower and pulled his shirt off, looking at himself in the mirror. He had shaved since the night he ran into Zara, she clearly didn't remember him, but he didn't exactly look himself that night. He'd had his hair trimmed back to the length it was when he was last with her which was just below his jawline, so he looked as much like his normal self as possible.  
He ran a hand over his firm stomach, stroking what was left of the wound. It had left a small superficial scar, but the muscle tissue hadn't been damaged too badly.  
He stepped into the shower, letting the hot water soften his muscles and letting his hair soak. He wondered what Zara was doing at that precise moment. He had felt guilty sleeping in a warm comfortable bed in a beautiful apartment. Every hot meal or steamy shower pained him a little, but he had to be in the best shape he could be in, he was no use to her tired, sore or weak.  
  
  
There had been another two stakeouts in the following weeks, neither of which Zara had been at. One had been movement between buildings, with Hydra agents that were picked off with the rifle as usual. The other was an assassination attempt that Shield had foiled. Steve had gone along to help, and when they had shown up without Zara, Bucky had lost his temper. He ran in, killing them all brutally, catching the senior most member of their team and holding him up by his throat with his metal arm. The Hydra agent had tried to swallow a cyanide pill hidden in his gum, and Bucky had ripped it out before he'd had the chance, interrogating the man violently.  
It was clear nothing was being given away, so Bucky tightened his grip on the man, crushing his throat, killing him slowly and painfully. He had relished it, too. This had worried Steve.  
Meanwhile another tip-off had come through as another anonymous phone call. Shield had gone on high alert and Tony had gotten right onto tracing the call which had gone back out to a phone in a cafe. The building had been searched, and nothing had come up.  
The tip off had been right on the money, but again Zara was missing from the team, adding fuel to the fire for Bucky.  
  
  
An early morning session in the gym had helped him blow off some steam. Bucky lifted the weight and sat it on it's hooks before sitting up on the bench, his chest moving with heavy yet controlled breaths. He stretched his neck from left to right, letting it crack and wiped his face with a towel. When he lowered it and opened his eyes he noticed a pretty blonde girl coming over to him.  
"Bucky Barnes, is that you?" She asked shyly, twirling her hair and biting her lip. These kinds of encounters had been happening quite a bit over the last two weeks since he'd 'come out of hiding' so to speak. The Zara fanfare hadn't bothered him so much now that he knew she was alive. It had been kept quiet around the agents and rookies, and Bucky preferred it that way. There was no way he could stand constantly being asked if she'd been found yet.  
"What do you think?" He answered with his usual condescending tone, a brow raised and a no-nonsense look on his face.  
"Oh, um... Sorry" She said, watching him as he stood and wiped his towel over the bench. He turned to face her, she was still tripping over her words and he didn't have the time or patience for this.  
"I mean I knew it was you. Not many people out there have a metal arm" She giggled nervously.  
"Sylvia North has one, why don't you go bother her" He said dismissively.  
"I'd rather bother you, actually... Well not bother, I just wanted to come and get to know you a little..." She giggled.  
"Not a good idea" He said, a warning tone in his voice. He walked away from her, hoping she'd leave him alone. He picked a bar weight up from the ground where he began doing some 2 handed bicep curls.  
The blonde bit her lip again as she watched him.  
"I know, I've heard stories about you, Bucky Barnes. But I'm not afraid..." She said, trailing off. Bucky clenched his teeth and took a deep breath, he shot her an unmistakeably threatening look. He was reaching the end of his tether.  
"No, nothing bad! Sorry, I'm so bad at talking to hot guys... They say you can be a little aggressive, sure... But I kinda like an aggressive guy. A guy who can take charge, a guy who can look after a girl-"  
Bucky snapped. He let go of the weight with his flesh arm, and suddenly hurled the entire bar across the room with his metal arm, straight into the wall, shattering the mirror. The blonde girl squealed in fright and jumped back. The arm plates recalibrating as it emitted a loud, robotic sound. Bucky strode over to her aggressively, covering the ground quickly, reaching out with his metal arm and shoving an elliptical machine out of his way. It hit the ground with a loud crash as it toppled over. The girl backed up fast, almost tripping over her feet as she went. She apologized profusely, and when her back hit the wall she burst into tears.  
Bucky slammed his hand against the wall, inches from her face and she jumped and screamed again.  
"Please don't hurt me! I'm sorry, just don't hurt me, please, PLEASE" She pleaded, tears pouring down her face.  
"Then leave" He snarled at her, taking his arm off the wall. She ran from the room, not looking back.  
2 of Tony's staff members had come running in, armed and stopped at the doorway, surveying the damage.  
They spotted Bucky over near the wall and they both placed their hands on their holsters as they approached him.  
"I wouldn't..." Bucky warned, looking at them darkly.  
"Stand down, Barnes" One of them answered.  
"I was just leaving" Bucky said, picking up his bag and walking out the door between them, shoving past them as he did.  
"What an asshole..." One of them muttered.  
  
  
Bucky was spoken to formally about upsetting the blonde girl. Her name was Rachael and she was one of the new rookies. She had been warned about him, but decided to try her luck with him anyway. Bucky had argued that it was her own fault, and he'd tried to ignore her, but she had pushed him.  
Apparently she had been 'traumatized' by the encounter. Bucky had rolled his eyes and laughed. He reminded them that he hadn't laid a hand on her, and refused to apologize.  
He also pointed out it was no secret that he could be a loose cannon, everyone that knew him knew he had enough on his mind with Zara being at Hydra. Everyone else knew he was grieving, and if they wanted to push the idea, then it was their funeral.  
Meeting adjourned.  
  
That night it snowed hard. Roads had been closed and the blizzard had made the news. There had been blackouts all over the city, not that it was a problem for them with Tony's building generating it's own power. Steve and Bucky were in the common room, shooting some pool while the others relaxed, watched TV and just generally hung out. It was great to have an area where the Avengers team could hang out and relax that was all their own.  
Bucky hadn't joined them in months, but was making an effort as promised to Steve.  
"I heard you beat one of the rookies up today, Barnes" Tony piped up. Bucky shot him an angry look.  
"That's not what happened, and you know it, Stark" Bucky said. "I just gave her a little fright"  
"Little fright, eh? That's not what I heard" He said, raising a brow.  
"Well, apparently she's milking it for all it's worth" Bucky shrugged.  
"Just go easy on the kids, will you please?" Tony said, sipping the last of his drink.  
"If they keep outta my way, I'll keep outta theirs..."  
  
"Sir, we have someone at the buildings' main entrance attempting to intrude" Came the voice of Tony's AI system.  
"Get it on the screen, Jarvis" He said, turning to face a screen as it dropped down from the roof. Sure enough it showed a man at the front doors of Stark Tower, beating on the reinforced glass with his fists, and could be seen screaming. He looked up making eye contact with the camera in the lobby and started waving furiously.  
Steve had already darted from the room, Tony and Bucky deciding to go after him seconds later. They flew down the stairwell and ran to the door, Steve running to open it, Bucky casually pulling a gun from the back of his jeans and holding it up in Steve's defense.  
The man practically fell in the door, and began clawing his way across the floor.  
"SHUT IT! Shut the door and lock it!!!" The man screamed.  
Bucky took several steps towards the man who was completely hysterical, and kicked him over so he was laying on his back, and placed his heavy boot on the man's chest, restraining him and pointing the barrel of the gun at him with one hand. Steve stepped in to make sure crazy guy wasn't armed with anything.  
"Easy Robocop" Tony reasoned, as Bucky thumbed the safety off his pistol.  
"No, that's it, arrest me. Lock me in a cell, PLEASE!!! They'll kill me!" He screamed hysterically  again. The guy was either completely out of his mind, or genuinely scared out of his wits.  
"Who?" Steve demanded.  
"Lock me up first! They'll hear, please, it's not safe!"  
Bucky, Tony and Steve shot each other a look, and Bucky hoisted the man to his feet, dragging him down stairs to the holding cells. Tony entered a code into the keypad on the wall and the door opened. Bucky threw him in roughly, the man landing on his hands and knees.  
"LOCK IT!!!" The man screamed. Tony did so, and the man collapsed on the ground, trying to compose himself. He drew his knees up to his chest as he lay on his side on the concrete floor and steadied his breathing as best he could, taking deep breaths and relaxing.  
"Okay, now talk" Tony said, looking over at crazy guy.  
"I've been calling you guys" He said, sitting up from his spot on the floor. "I've been trying to help"  
"Oh yeah? Heard that one before..." Bucky said, dismissively.  
"Well I was right wasn't I? Hydra agents died because of my tips did they not?" He said, stumbling to his feet, pressing his hands on the glass,  
"What's your point?" Steve said.  
"I come from Hydra"  
"Well feel free to set off whatever explosion you like, cuz that cell is bombproof" Tony smiled.  
"I escaped, I'm here to help a friend!" Crazy guy said, removing his top and kicking his boots off. His irrationality was making Tony nervous.  
"Jarvis, scan him" He said.  
"Scanning cell 3 for you now, sir." Came Jarvis' voice. "Negative for explosives or biological weapons. Subject is carrying a possible wrist fracture"  
"I'm being honest. I'll take a lie detector, a shot of truth serum, anything you want... My name is Thomas Christian Hall you can look all my identification up online"  
Tony picked up his tablet, and ran a search. The face matched up with the name.  
"I'm a trained doctor, all my details will be on the medical archives, I did all my training here in New York, under a Professor Jeremy Swanson, I graduated top of my class. I did my residency at New York-Presbyterian University Hospital of Columbia and Cornell. I was born in Washington D.C to my parents, Maria Anne Hall and Jonathan Gregory Hall-"  
"Okay, okay, okay... Tony said, cutting him off. I had all that on screen before you opened your mouth.  
"How'd you go from there to Hydra, and end up here? Short version would be great." Tony asked.  
"I was taken by them following an attack on their base... I haven't been there long. I went out on the field a few times, until I got caught sneaking a phone call." He said.  
"So you came here to take refuge?" Steve asked.  
"Yes, partly for that reason. The other part is that I befriended a girl there that said she was from here. I was there to treat her, run tests on her... Her health was my job." He said. Bucky's breath hitched.  
"She was kind to me, despite all the awful, awful things they did to her. We vowed that if one of us got out, we'd help the other. I need to get her out. I know where she is." He said, tears in his eyes.  
  
"Her name... What's her name!?" Bucky demanded aggressively.  
"Jones... Her name is Zara Jones"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas tells his story, we hear from Zara and a plan is hatched. Enjoy :) xo
> 
> *Mention of some non-con if anyone is sensitive

  
  
Zara groaned inwardly as her eyes fluttered open, only to have to shut them again. It was too bright in there, she had been in darkness for longer than she cared to think about. Days had blurred into weeks and weeks into months which there were only snippets of in her memory. Her muscles were weak from lack of use, she tried to lift her head but simply did not have the strength.  
She was sure she'd cry if she could feel anything, but all there was was the cold. Intense cold and she couldn't even hug her body to keep it warm.  
"Check her vitals..."  
A pair of cold fingers were pressed hard up under her throat, changing position a few times. Zara jammed her eyes shut, the man cursing at her as she did.  
"Did it work?"  
"I don't think so, she is weak."  
Her face was beaded with sweat and her teeth chattered. Someone pulled an eyelid open and shone a light into it. It hurt like hell but she wasn't able to fight them, she was barely able to lift her arm.  
"Eyes are responsive. We need a medic to get her back up again"  
"That fucking doctor got away"  
"We will slit his throat when we find him. We need another, NOW!"  
"Right away sir"  
  
  
  
Bucky paced back and fourth in front of Thomas' cell while he was checked from top to bottom. Despite themselves, they had injected him with the truth serem and his story hadn't changed. Banner had spent a couple of hours thoroughly going over him, checking for tracers, chips, bugs... Anything he could think of.  
Bucky had voiced his opinion aggressively more than once that while this was going on, they could be out there looking for her. Tony, Steve and Bruce insisted on checking Thomas, they had been double crossed several times, and while Hydra we at a disadvantage with a lack of facilities and tech, they were master manipulators. Nobody wanted to take a chance.  
Thomas came up clean, and after a hot shower and a good meal he was more than willing to go over anything that he knew.  
  
"Okay. So I was lured out of the hospital when I was called to treat an emergency patient who needed to be assessed before being taken from the ambulance. This happens sometimes, so I thought nothing of it. I climbed into the back, and next thing I know the doors were slammed shut and it sped off. The guy they had on the gurney sat up and pointed a gun at me. Scariest moment of my life" He said.  
"Get to the point" Bucky said impatiently.  
"Sorry... So I was knocked out and blindfolded and woke up a few days later in some underground bunker. Pitch black under there, save for the odd overhead light. I was shown to Zara and told to 'fix her'. So I did my best"  
"Why did she need fixing?" Bucky demanded.  
"Because..." Thomas choked on his words as his eyes glazed over. "They beat the living shit out of her" He said, his voice barely a whisper.  
  
Bucky let out a breath, turning away and running both hands through his hair. Steve shot a sympathetic glance over to him. Bucky was hurting, but there was no way he'd cry in front of anyone...  
  
"Go on, Thomas" Steve prompted, sympathy in his voice.  
"It took me weeks to wake her up, and even then things were shaky. She had no idea who she was, or where she'd come from, she was very thin and weak. Her muscles had wasted away, she was malnourished and dehydrated. We started building her back up again, got her strength up, and she was sent out do do missions for them. Mostly assassinations and thefts from what I understand. This went on for a while, she stayed under my care, I was to patch her wounds, and during this time we became friends. One day they came into the cell and tied her down in the chair... They had a serum they wanted to inject her with." He said, looking around the room into four sets of heartbroken eyes...  
"It was supposed to be like what they gave the Asset, but they didn't have both components of the chemical." He said, looking over at Bucky. "I believe you were given an experimental dose back in the 1940's, before the dose you received when you were operated on?"  
"That's right" Bucky nodded.  
"Well the first lot is an immunity booster. You won't get sick, you won't freeze, and you can withstand injuries. The second dose is a cellular re-generator. That's the one that makes you faster, stronger and heightens your senses, but it's got some pretty serious stuff in there... When they lost their main bases, they lost the last remaining doses of that first chemical, and with most of their scientists dead, this was all they had. So they injected her with it, hoping to create a new super-soldier and it almost killed her" Thomas explained.  
"How?" Steve asked.  
"Well, in layman's terms, you can't build it up, without tearing it down first. It breaks down your cellular makeup and builds you a new, super one. She didn't have the immunity she needed against the second chemical because she wasn't given the initial immunity booster first. The chemical went in and started destroying her cells from the inside, like it is designed to do. Then it had nothing left to build upon, so the chemical was metabolized, and all they were left with was a very sick girl with no immune system. The body reacts similarly to how it does when given things like chemotherapy. It's a wonder she survived at all, but somehow she did... She's a fighter."  
"How long ago was this? Did she recover!?" Bucky asked.  
"I don't know exactly, but not long ago. It took me a few days to get here from there... She had started to respond to my treatments, and thankfully they didn't have anymore chemical to test on her. That was the last of it. They took blood from her, a lot of blood, but there weren't enough trace elements to recreate it. They just don't have the facilities... So the super soldier idea is on the back-burner for now, and when she's well enough she will go back out as a 'human asset'. She's got the skills for it, although she won't be able to take a hit like you were" he said, looking over at Bucky.  
"They're doing a lot of shady things to get the funding to build themselves back up, to recruit new members, robbing laboratories... They just don't have the researchers they had, and that's their downfall at the moment. They can take doctors and scientists, but it's easy to make out that you don't know the answers. Nobody in their right mind will give out the compositions of these chemicals to help these guys get ahead, no matter if they know them or not. I was lucky in not having family, but it's only a matter of time before they take someone and start killing off their wives or husbands, children, parents... They are truly evil" He said.  
"It's also only a matter of time before they use her as bait to capture you. If they can draw your blood, they can screen it to help recreate the chemicals you were given" He said, looking at both Steve and Bucky, who nodded in agreeance.  
"I was lucky to get out of there. It was a mistake on their part, they got sloppy with their security during a mission, and I slipped straight out. I heard them talking about her, and Shield was mentioned so I kept it in the back of my mind. That's what bought me here, I figured whether or not she was from here, Shield are good people, they would want to help her..."  
"So what are we waiting for?" Bucky said straightening up from his place leaning on the wall.  
"Well, that's the tricky part... She's wired  up on a life support system and there's NO way she can be moved until she's stronger" Thomas said regretfully.  
"Picked a good time to ditch then, didn't you" Bucky snarled at him sarcastically.  
"It was my only chance. The system is automated, I wouldn't be surprised if they already had a new medical adviser down there for her already. The point is, we will have to wait. Those bases have tunnels that go for miles and miles, when she gets stronger there's no telling if they'll move her then. Either way she's the best fighter they've got, and she's their only chance of getting to you. They won't let her die, she's too important."  
"So essentially they're using her as bait to bait us. But we're using her as bait to bait them. makes sense" Tony quipped thoughtfully.  
"That's my best plan, I'm sorry I've got nothing better. Her survival rate is going to be much higher if she is left to heal for a while before we go in. I know for a fact there is no more chemical there for her, at least until they have you." Thomas said.  
"You're right. They'll get our attention when she is ready. Only we'll be ready for them" Steve said.  
Bucky wasn't happy having to wait, yet again. But it was as good a plan as any.  
"What if she doesn't know us?" He suddenly said, worried.  
"Oh that's a given, unfortunately. The one piece of equipment they had left was an electric-shock neuro transmitter..." He said, trailing off when he saw the painful look in Bucky's eyes.  
"It was one of the first things they did to her..." He said, keeping his voice low. "I'm sorry to say it was another thing that went wrong, the last person to sit in that chair was you, Bucky. I don't know what they were thinking, strapping a 5'3, 115lb girl to it and pulling the switch. All I know is she was dragged from it, mid session and had to be revived. Like I said, she had no idea who she was when I spoke to her. She accepted her name was Zara, but I was monitored with her and wasn't permitted to ask her any questions or hint at her past. The only thing she seemed to have retained is her fighting ability." Thomas said.  
"She was a very defensive girl, very anxious, skittish, always looking over her shoulder. They didn't dare risk wiping her again, so she got to know me, got to realize I wasn't going to hurt her. She seemed relaxed when I was around. She rarely ever spoke, but I got a smile from her once, and she squeezed my hand when she first woke from the reaction to the serum..." he said, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.  
"I'm so sorry, she obviously means a lot to you all" He said sympathetically, looking around the room. Bucky had his forehead painfully creased between the thumb and fingers of one hand, head down, Steve's arm was on his shoulder.  
"Yeah, Zeejay's a good kid. She's done a lot for us around here... We got plenty of time to fill you in while we wait, I guess" Tony said, running a hand through his hair, a stressed expression on his face.  
"Thanks for coming to us, Thomas" Steve said.  
  
  
  
Zara was hauled to her feet by two guards, and she was steadied when she wobbled. She felt so weak, but at least the sweats were gone and she could move her arms and legs a little. The needles were pulled from her arms, and suction cups removed from her temples and body. She was dragged up a long hallway, an armed guard at either side of her, holding her roughly by her upper arms. They would bruise her for sure, but she didn't care. She couldn't remember ever caring.  
She was stripped naked and pushed into the corner of a concrete room with a drain in the floor. She was hit with icy cold water from a hose that had far too much pressure. She felt like her skin was going to tear like wet paper, but she grit her teeth and said nothing, keeping her eyes shut. A guard held her against the wall while another took great pleasure in soaping her up from head to toe, letting his hands linger on her. She didn't have the energy to be disgusted. The cold hose came again and her hair was brushed out by soap-man. They had chopped her long locks off with a single knife blade when she first came in. It had grown out a little since then, resting just above her shoulders now.  
She was dragged back down the hallway still wet and naked by the same two guards, but they didn't touch her this time. She was grateful for that, she didn't have the strength to fight them off this time.  
She was toweled off and dressed, before being thrown into a small, dark concrete cell with a cot in the corner. She walked a lap of the room, stretching her sore muscles before laying on the cot to rest.  
To her relief, it was much better than the steel table she had been on, or even the dentist chair. She let out a breath of relief and rolled over, staring at the swirls in the concrete on the roof.  
Something resembling a bowl of slop was bought in for her, it was cold and bland, but she ate it eagerly. She hadn't realized just how hungry she was until she'd started eating.  
  
  
  
  
As the weeks passed, Bucky grew impatient.  
"Surely she'd be back in action by now" He snapped at a wide-eyed Thomas.  
"I would assume she'd be back out again soon. Anything could have happened in that bunker to set them back" He said, raising his hands.  
"Not what I wanna hear" Bucky snarled at him, balling his hands into fists and walking off.  
"He always like that?" Thomas asked, turning to Bruce, who just smiled politely, not wanting to give his opinion.  
"Okay peeps, we have some activity at the co-ordinates Thomas gave us. Sending a jet out to investigate" Tony announced. Bucky stopped in his tracks.  
"I'm coming" He said.  
"No can do Barnes, scouts have already been deployed and will watch from a safe distance. There will be drills and conditioning before they send her out." Tony said, putting a hand up.  
"God-damn it, Stark, this is the perfect opportunity to infiltrate them and bring her home" Bucky snapped.  
"And what do you think is gonna happen? You're gonna pop the door open, pat the seat and say 'come on sweetheart'? You think she's gonna come running to you? Well it's time for a reality check, Barnes" He said, raising his voice.  
"You have no fucking idea, Stark, I can't sit around another second while she's out there. She needs us, now! She needed us 6 fucking months ago!" He yelled, balling his hands into a fist, his arm emitting a low, robotic hum.  
"Do yourself a favor, and go watch the security tapes of when you came to Shield. This is a capture mission, not a rescue mission. We need to take them out, and capture her, she's not going to come quietly. This isn't going to be pretty, whichever way it goes." He said. "Word will be back in a couple of hours and we can move once we have a plan. Until then, sit tight and chill."  
"Chill? Fuck you, Stark."  
"No, fuck you, Barnes" Tony smiled.  
  
  
  
News came back from the jets that soldiers had begun to emerge from the bunker in the woods. They'd been snowed in and had to dig their way out, but there they were. There had been what appeared to be training exercises going on down there, and Zara had in fact emerged, if only for a few minutes before being sent back down into the tunnel. Tony was happy to deliver the news to the team, walking into the common room, placing a thumb and finger in his mouth and letting out a loud whistle.  
  
"Suit up, people"


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Woooo! Another update for you guys! It's so exciting logging in to see that my fics are being read, commented on, bookmarked and given a kudos. Pretty damn stoked that Reckless is still getting lots of action in there as well. You guys absolutely freaking rock, thank you so much for your support. :)  
> Enjoy! -Kaytee xo

  
  
The snow crunched under her feet as Zara walked outside, casually screwing a silencer onto the end of her pistol, breath hanging in the air in front of her. They were out doing a few shooting exercises to see how her reflexes were with a gun. She had been sluggish on her feet, she'd been sluggish in most of her movements since that chemical was pumped into her body. Her sight had suffered, mostly just getting her vision to focus, rather than being cloudy as if she'd just taken a knock to the head.  Her stamina and reflexes had also suffered, so they'd had her running laps of the tunnel system to increase her fitness and push her. Reflexes would come in time, but plenty of exercises would help sharpen those back up again. Things were easy for her in the dark, the darkness sharpened her other senses. She was able to hit a target in the dark, whether it be from a gunshot, or throwing a knife, being out in the snow in the daylight would be a good test for her to see how she handled the bright light reflecting off the white ground.  
  
A couple of soldiers had accompanied her, one carrying ammo, and the other dragging a target launcher. He handed Zara a fresh magazine which she slid into place and cocked her gun, and he pulled a switch on the launcher, that sent a target into the air with a loud whoosh.  
She aimed her pistol, squinting her eyes looking for the tiny black speck amongst all the white. She finally locked onto it, shot at it, and to the delight of her companions it exploded in mid air. He launched another two, and she squinted again as she aimed, frustrated when she could only make out one of the black specks whizzing through the air, she fired at one, but lost the other when her vision clouded again.  
She received a swift, hard backhand across the face, which left a big red mark.  
  
"You have failed! You must do it again!"  
  
She was angry at herself, she knew she had failed and let her superiors down. If she missed another, she could only imagine the punishment they'd dish out. Her face felt hot under the stinging flesh of her cheek, but she didn't react. She knew not to show weakness.  
She handed the empty magazine to the soldier on her left as instructed. She holstered her weapon while she waited quietly while the men re-loaded the target launcher.  
There were no thoughts in her mind at that moment except for pleasing her superiors. They were the ones who fed her, gave her medical attention. If she was allowed to have a feeling it would be... She pursed her lips, perhaps 'grateful' was too strong a word, but something along those lines. A good soldier didn't judge their superior, only obeyed. They didn't have opinions on their life situation or how they were treated. They didn't have fondness for others, this was weakness and could be used against her.  
She wasn't so sure if she was so fond of who she was working for, but they were the ones giving orders, so she would shut her mouth, do what she was told, and do it without resistance. That was her job. If she did her job she wouldn't be punished. She would be fed, bathed and housed. All she had to do in return was to earn her keep, which was easy enough given the skills and weapons they had armed her with.  
  
"Again"  
  
Zara snapped to attention, she jammed the fresh magazine into the pistol when she was handed one, and cocked the gun, getting ready to aim. She would not miss this one.  
  
  
  
Bucky was already locked on to her through the window, black hair pushed back of her pale face. Lips tinged blue with the cold and a big red mark on her cheek. He clenched his jaw, and his metal arm flexed as he balled his hands into tight fists.  
She was flanked by a soldier either side of her, one carrying a machine that looked like a clay target launcher, and the other had a large duffel bag, no doubt containing an arsenal of weapons and ammo.  
She looked a shadow of her former self, thin and weak, she was having trouble focusing on whatever it was they had her shooting at. She was unbalanced going by her stance alone, and the snarl painted on her face suggested she was frustrated and angry about it.  
  
_Don't worry Zara, we're here to bring you home. You'll be safe, soon._  
  
"Lets get this show on the road" Came Steve's voice as Natasha began to lower the quin-jet into the clearing. They had no way of knowing just how many Hydra soldiers would be there that day, but they had been prepared by having a strong team - Steve and Bucky, the two super-soldiers, and then there was Barton and Natasha.  
Tony had guessed that they wouldn't have much of an operation down there. If Thomas had been telling the truth, then they only had a few there to look after and develop Zara, a few to guard the place and then there were a few survivors that had been in the same area that needed a new place to work.  
They wouldn't have time to call for backup, this was the beauty of a surprise attack, but with Thomas making a run for it, it was a surprise that they were out there in the open with her. He was sure that they weren't stupid, but were they really that arrogant?  
  
The wind and noise put off by the jet lowering caught the attention of Zara and the two soldiers who spun to find the source of the disturbance. The jet's stealth mode was switched off and it became visible to them quickly.  
They opened fire, aiming shots at the windows of the jet, which only deflected the bullets. One of the men shouted, pointing back into the woods, tossing Zara a magazine. He had ordered her to run.  
  
Bucky shot the two soldiers and went after her, fast. He could see her up ahead, running as if the devil was at hot at her heels, not looking back. She jumped fallen logs and ducked low branches as she moved.  
Bucky ran through the trees, branches whipping against his face but he didn't let that slow him. As he started catching up to her, she took the risk of looking over her shoulder.  
Her eyes widened when she saw how much he had gained on her, if she kept going straight she would inadvertently lead him right into their base. That was a bad thing. A very bad thing that was punishable by death, and she was pretty sure she didn't want to die.  
Relief swept over her when the manhole in the ground opened up, and at least 20 Hydra soldiers burst up through the ground and ran towards her, shooting the person that was on her tail. They were still coming, there was no way she'd squeeze into the tunnel with there being so much traffic in the opening.  
  
Soldiers ran past her and started shooting at the man behind her, she made the decision to quickly change course, there was another place she could go. She ran north westerly, hearing heavy gunfire over her shoulder behind her. She readied her weapon as she ran, the snow getting thicker underfoot the closer she got the the edge of the woods. Her lungs burned like crazy, but she was not to slow down, no way, not until he was off her tail. The Hydra soldiers were there to take him down, or distract him. Either one would give her the advantage she needed. She would much rather face him, and fight, but she was told to run, so run she did.  
Heavy footsteps came up behind her again, she didn't need to look over her shoulder to know it was him.  
She clenched her jaw, there was one more thing she could do, something that would have preferably been avoided but she didn't see much of a choice, but time wasn't on her side for the alternative. She was also under orders, and straying from them wasn't an option she had even cared to consider.  
She did a few calculations in her head. Yes she could survive this, and she may even stay conscious if she could protect her head and face. She cocked her gun, and sucked in a deep breath as she jumped with all the strength she had left in her legs, going straight over the cliff face that had loomed up in front of them. She turned in mid-air, and flung her arm back towards him ready to shoot, she had to disable him, or he'd go after her, which was something they couldn't afford to risk.  
  
Bucky gasped and dove for her, anchoring his metal arm in the ground on the edge of the cliff face and reaching for her with his flesh arm. His hand snapped shut around her wrist and took her weight as she slammed against the face of the cliff with a strained 'oof' as she was momentarily dazed, shaking her head to get her bearings back again.  
  
"I've got you" He said, his vice gentle and reassuring.  
  
His body hung sideways over the cliff from his hips onward, one leg going over, but not the other. His metal hand hanging onto the ground above them, having anchored onto a tree root or maybe a length of pipeline. He wasn't sure, but either way it wasn't going to hold them for long and because of the awkward way they had ended up, he couldn't pull her up without letting go with his other arm.  
His grip tightened on her wrist making her wince and drop the gun which clattered against the wall of the cliff and dropped to the ground.  
  
She narrowed her bright blue eyes at him aggressively. There was so much pain and hatred in her expression, and it tore him up. His eyes had been like that once, not so long ago in the grand scheme of things...  
  
"No you don't" Came her raspy reply as she looked up at him, pulling a gun from her back pocket and aiming it at his face, point blank. Her voice was hoarse as if she hadn't spoken in years. The look on her face meant she wasn't mucking around.  
Bucky's stomach dropped. He was officially caught between a rock and a hard place. There was no way he'd let her die to save himself, but he also never expected to be helpless at the hands of the very person he'd come to rescue. Her eyes were cold and emotionless, her lips pressed into a line as she cocked the weapon and moved her finger to the trigger. The only option he had was to let go of the cliff with his metal arm, keep holding onto her and let them both fall. If he could take the brunt of the impact and protect her, then he'd have a chance at disarming her.  
  
There were two loud shots fired, breaking his train of thought. For a moment there was intense pain and he had to gather his bearings. Was he dead? No, he was very much alive but he'd been shot. She'd moved the pistol to his right and put two shells into his flesh shoulder at point blank. The damage to his arm took the strength from his hand and in that instant she had slipped from his grip and had fallen.  
He gasped with the realization of what had happened in those split seconds, she lay in the snow, drips of red around her which she realized were from him. This was all looking too familiar, like looking into a horrible mirror of his own life.  
She stirred a couple of seconds after hitting the ground, and he heard her groan as she sat up, with a hand against her head, she struggled to her feet. He let out a sigh of relief. She limped a few steps and cursed under her breath, making her way to the edge of the cliff and there was a metal clanging sound, and then he lost sight of her.  
  
"FUCK!"  
  
He sprang to action, pushing away from the cliff and letting himself fall, landing on his feet. He was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't quite as high as he'd thought. There was a metal hatch covered in vines and moss to his right, that's where she must have gone through. He called Steve on his comms set and opened the door with guns drawn and stepped into the tunnel as quiet as a cat. He heard a several sets of footsteps running up ahead. The hatch behind him cracked open and he snapped to attention pointing his gun, lowering it again when he realized it was Steve.  
  
"You're hurt" Steve said, worried.  
"I'm fine, it's not deep. Lets get her out, and worry about me later" Bucky lied, dismissively. Steve looked him up and down, shaking his head gently and letting out an exasperated breath.  
 "Lets go" he said, taking the lead, shield up.  
  
There was another slamming noise up ahead which echoed through the tunnel, and then a stream of light and gunshots. Steve charged in, holding his shield up, deflecting the bullets. The Hydra soldier had run to the right down a T junction at the end of the tunnel, Steve and Bucky following them. More shots were fired as they ran, Bucky pulling up suddenly when he heard the sound of metal groaning behind him. He wheeled around and saw a Hydra soldier, opening a door for another soldier who was carrying a girl.  
  
_Zara..._  
  
He turned and charged at them, deflecting their panicked bullets as he went. The shooter clearly wasn't an experienced gunman. The man holding Zara squeezed through the tight door gap into a dimly lit room that seemed to be full of electrical switches and computers. Bucky had had nightmares about a room that looked very much like that, and now she was living his nightmare.  
The guy holding Zara gave the shooter a quick kick towards Bucky as the door slammed behind him.  
Typical of Hydra, nobody is loyal, and as soon as you can throw someone under the bus to save yourself, the better off you'll be. Bucky slammed his hands against the door, and knew straight away that not even super soldier strength was going to open it. It may as well have been a vault.  
He cursed loudly, and turned to realize there was a very frightened scientist beside him, as well as the 'click, click, click' of an empty gun. Bucky considered killing him out of pure frustration, but there was another chance. He was sure this trembling little fat man would like revenge on the soldier that kicked him into certain death... Perhaps he could use him to get into that room with Zara, there were enough tunnels that there was surely going to be more than one way in. If not, he'd break his neck.  
He grabbed the collar of the scientist, twisting it and shoving him against the wall, hard. glaring at him. He balled him metal arm into a fist in front of the man's face, making the plates recalibrate, the arm emitting a low, robotic sound.  
Bucky raised his brow on hearing a second sound over that and the whimpering of the guy he had a hold of.  
He looked down at the floor, and then back up to the man's teary face, giving an amused smirk. It had been a while since he'd made someone wet themselves.  
  
  
  
"Do not MOVE!" came the thick German accent of one of her superiors as he shoved her roughly onto a big, high tech looking chair.  
"Why did you let yourself get injured!? You are USELESS to us now"  
"I had no other option, sir" Came her raspy, strained voice.  
  
There was a loud 'whack' as he backhanded her across the face, hard, in the same place she had been hit that morning. It was sure to leave a bruise on her hot, stinging flesh.  
She sucked in a sharp breath, clenching her jaw. She wouldn't react, to react was disrespectful. To show pain was to show weakness. She stayed quiet and watched as a second man entered the room to speak with her superior. She kept her eyes down and her mouth shut.  
  
"They are in the tunnels, sir"  
"Send more men. I want Barnes!"  
"We sent all we had, I'm afraid we're outnumbered, sir."  
The senior-most man pinched at the bridge of his nose, lowering his head and jamming his eyes shut, thinking hard. He paced back and fourth, frustrated.  
"They will not leave without her. Of that we are certain..." He mused aloud.  
"You are right, sir"  
"Lets let them have her then"  
"Come again, sir?"  
"I'm afraid we have lost this battle, Atkins. We will have another chance with Barnes, when we take her back. We will use her as live bait, and next time we will be ready for them"  
"But if they restore will she not will fight us off, sir?"  
"Atkins? Remember what happened the last time the machine was activated?"  
"Yes sir, it was too strong and she had to be revived, sir."  
"Her memory was wiped successfully. A little too well... If you recall we had to refresh her in some of her weapons and combat training"  
"You're correct, sir. Are you suggesting we give her another treatment?"  
"That is exactly what I'm suggesting. Render her helpless, and we will take her when the opportunity presents itself. She will be weak and unable to protect herself. Not to mention it will really fuck with them." He said, amusement showing on his face as he turned to face his soldier.  
"That it will, sir. What if she dies?"  
"I guess that will fuck with them too, and we'll just go after Barnes when HE'S weak" He said, giving a wicked grin. "They will kill us when they enter the room. Our deaths will not be in vain."  
"Cut off one head, two more shall take it's place, sir"  
"Hail Hydra... Warm the machine up"  
"Hail Hydra"  
  
  
  
Bucky and Steve had made their way through the tunnels led by the scientist that Bucky had captured. They didn't need to put a gun to his head, he knew he'd have no chance against two super soldiers, and had heard storied about the brown haired one. He wasn't much fun at the best of times, let alone when he was angry.  
Bucky gave him the odd shove in the back to keep him moving, this also served as a stern reminder that he was in very deep shit if he tried anything. Truth be told he'd be in deep shit either way.  
They came to another T junction and they took another left, and followed the long dark, damp tunnel along. It was freezing down there, the condensation on the walls was frosty and their breath hung in the air, and could be seen in front of them whenever they passed under one of the dim mine-lights hanging above them.  
"How much farther?" Bucky growled at him, concerned he was stalling.  
"Not far, just up ahead and is the last door on the left. It will take us to the front entrance to the exam room, which is accessible by one of these keys" he said, his hand disappearing into his jacket pocket.  
Bucky had a gun on him and watched as he pulled his hand out, half expecting a weapon or syringe full of sedative. True to his word, there were keys in his hand which he went through, before selecting one and holding it in his hand.  
  
Bucky didn't have time for this. He snatched the key from the fat little man's hand and ordered Steve to watch him. Bucky jogged up the hall, his eyes scanning each door and each gap in the wall for enemies as he went.  
There was a loud, electrical buzz and the lights dimmed, plunging them in to blackness. Then he heard it, the blood curdling scream through the door at the end of the hall. It was Zara, and this could only mean she was back on the machine. Bucky felt the rage burn in his chest. What the fuck did they have her back on there again for, they'd already taken all her memories, was it torture? Were they trying to kill her?  
It was probably to torture HIM he decided. They were going to die for this, they were going to die slow, painful deaths for this. The screams died down, and the lights came back on, only for them to dim again and another scream ring out. The kind of scream that chilled him to his very core.  
  
He ran harder than he ever remember running in his life, the screaming continuing as he fumbled with the key and almost snapped it off as he unlocked the heavy, metal door. The buzzing electrical noise continued, but the screaming had stopped.  
  
In the room there were two bodies on the ground, both wide eyed with foam spilling from their mouths. Those weak pieces of shit had taken their own lives. Bucky would have loved to make the pair of them suffer.  
  
The sight of the electric chair made him literally feel like he was going to be sick. This evil device was his undoing and what had caused him so much pain over his lifetime. Not knowing how to shut if off, he sunk his metal fist hard into the control panel, completely obliterating it. The arm holding the headpiece on her had broken and he was quick to rip that away from her. He was shaking as he tore the restraints from her arms and ankles, she was completely limp on the chair and not breathing either.  
He got her to the floor, ripping the bulletproof vest from her and stuck two fingers up under her throat, searching for a pulse, trying both sides before he started CPR. This was like a bad dream happening all over again. He breathed into her mouth, and started chest compressions. He wouldn't let her die, not again, this was not happening again. He breathed into her again, followed by more compressions.  
  
"Come on, Zara..."  
  
He couldn't loose her twice, not when he was so close to having her back. Steve had come running in, along with the scientist who had been thrown into the corner.  
Steve paced back and fourth, watching while Bucky worked tirelessly to bring her back. He suddenly stopped compressions, placing his ear down over her face, and his shoulders slumped.  
Steve stopped and held his breath, eyes searching for a sign of life, anything. Bucky was facing away from him and he couldn't see his face, couldn't read expression, was it relief, or was it grief?  
Bucky raised his handgun and shot the scientist in the face, and then gave the two on the ground a shot between the eyes for good measure. Whether they were dead or not meant nothing to him, but it had made him feel better, like he'd had the last word. He let out a deep breath, lowering his weapon again.  
  
"Bucky?" Came Steve's sympathetic voice.  
  
He stood from the floor and scooped her up, cradling her head against his chest gently, and placing a protective arm around her. He looked at Steve, his eyes wet with tears.  
  
"She's breathing. Just. Lets get her home"


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another update, thanks for the love everyone :)  
> -Kaytee xoxo

  
  
The news had spread like wildfire that Zara Jones was not only alive, but back at Shield. She had been taken straight to the infirmary and given her own room which was a rarity, but given the circumstances it was something Tony had organized for her.   
She had a broken ankle, 2 cracked ribs, a sprained wrist and was covered from head to toe in cuts and bruises. The main problem was when they fried her brain. She was expected to make a full recovery, but she was so battered that her body just needed some 'time out' and she had been placed into an induced coma.  
Thomas had come to help consult on her which had been a huge help in 'filling in the blanks' of her medical history over the past couple of months. He had offered to stay on as long as it took as he'd been interested to see how the machine had affected her and wanted to help in her recovery - he figured he'd done it before, and could do it again. Dr Reeves had been grateful to have him around. He was a good doctor, and seemed like a nice guy, definitely easy to talk to and quite a good sense of humor, which was something sorely needed in their line of work.  
  
Bucky hadn't left Zara's side since she'd been brought in, he couldn't bear to be separated from her again. He had been more shaken up by the events of that day more than he cared to let on. Dr Reeves had seen him gripping the armrests on that chair pretty tight in his sleep, and when Zara's blood pressure sleeve inflated during the night he had sprung to life and almost ripped it off her, before realizing what it was.   
Dr Reeves had spoken to Bucky about what to expect when she woke up. Reactions ranging from confusion, fear, tears or even a violent outburst. They had no experience whatsoever with memory wiping machinery so it was anyone's guess what Zara would be like.   
It was at that point that he had been told to go get some rest, and give her some space. He had flatly refused and Steve had had to come in to help talk him into the idea. Coulson had come into the room and made it an official order, which he obeyed with a grumpy snarl. Zara needed space, she needed to wake up in the presence of a doctor only, and people could be introduced slowly in time. Bucky could be in the infirmary and wait outside the room, but being inside the room was too much to risk for both of them.  
The protective boyfriend thing was all well and good, quite cute, but there was a time and place for it. They had promised to let him know when they were ready to wake her back up again.  
  
Tony being Tony had sent another team to go to the Hydra base that day and confiscate what was left of the chair. There was no way he was allowing Hydra to repair it to use it again, and well, he just really wanted to check it out and have a tinker.   
Bucky had threatened to smash it to pieces on more than one occasion, and insisted that it was a dangerous weapon that needed to be destroyed. Steve was completely on Bucky's side and it had gone to vote - Tony would get a week to pull it apart, see how it worked and then it would be permanently destroyed for good.  
  
The rookies who had idolized Zara and sent her videos around had been ecstatic that she had been found alive. For a week it was all everyone talked about. The finer details weren't made public knowledge, only the fact the she had been captured by Hydra and kept their prisoner over the last 6 months. It was assumed by most of them that she was tortured, which of course was correct. The fact that she'd been placed in a coma to recover was irrefutable evidence of that.  
The serum wasn't mentioned to anyone except Dr Reeves who had been eager to take blood samples from Zara as soon as possible. Dr Banner was the first to put his hand up to help her analyze the samples. He was interested to see if any of the effects of the serum remained, or if there were any anomalies in the blood-work. Aside from being low in a few things, namely iron, there was nothing in there that shouldn't be. Zara was quite malnourished, and this would have contributed to her levels being low and also being a little anemic, which was confirmed by Thomas, based on the testing he'd done with her during her time at Hydra. He was coming in quite handy around Shield.  
Banner had made up a potion of vitamins and minerals and a few other trace elements that were needed to boost her immune system, and they administered it to her intravenously.   
The new blood-work had come back brilliant. Dr Reeves and Thomas were both impressed with Banner's work to say the least.   
  
The rest of the week had been uneventful around the building, and business continued as normal. Zara's room was prepared for her, Bucky had brought her clothes from his wardrobe and taken them back to hers and hung them up. He laid her things out how she had liked them to be, stocked her bathroom with her favorite shampoo and conditioner, her body wash, her perfume. The apartment was clean, there were fresh sheets on the bed, he had been told not to put any pictures up in her room, there were to be no triggers of any sort in there, her priority was to heal, and they'd help her remember down the track... If they could.   
All weapons were removed from her room, and they'd done a complete sweep, and removing razors from the bathroom, knives from the kitchenette, save for rounded dinner and butter knives. Some though it was going too far, but every step had to be taken that she couldn't harm herself or anyone else.   
  
  
  
"Her vitals are looking great and her bloods have come back with everything in the ideal ranges. She's breathing by herself and getting plenty of oxygen into her system. Everything is looking good to go" Dr Reeves said to Coulson as she crossed the room, entering data into a tablet. They sure as hell beat the clipboards she had been used to all these years.   
The blood pressure sleeve stopped inflating and the reading was entered into the log. Dr Reeves pulled the Velcro tab, releasing the sleeve and hung it on the hook, with a satisfied smile on her face.  
"Blood pressure is excellent. She's a tough kid, this one" She said.  
"Sounds like we're good to go then, let's do this." Coulson asked. He was somewhat uneasy about what may happen, but they were prepared with a sedative, should they need it. He had offered to step out, but Dr Reeves thought it may be better for him to be there. He had always had a father-figure type role in Zara's life here, and his influence may be calming to her. That and he could help take her down should she wake up violent, which was another concern of theirs.   
  
Bucky was waiting in the infirmary hallway, having demanded they tell him when they were waking her up.   
There was  pretty good chance he wouldn't get to see her today, or even for a few days, but the compromise was that he was allowed to sit in the hall near her room where he could hear what was going on through the crack in the door. It would be like being there, hearing her voice when she woke up, knowing how it all went. If things went well he'd be allowed to go in and say hi, test the water to see if she remembered anything. He wasn't holding his breath, but it was better than pacing back and fourth in his room waiting to hear someone else's second hand account.  
He had showered, shaved and tied his hair back. He was wearing his favorite jeans and a t-shirt that Zara had bought him the night she discovered online shopping. He smiled at the memory, it was the only thing she'd bought and it was something for him. It was a fraction too small, but he hadn't complained, in fact she had insisted he wore it. She loved him in tight shirts. He'd spritzed on the cologne that had been her favorite on him, and held her bracelet in his hand, playing nervously with the clasp.  
He was fidgeting, he couldn't remember the last time he was this nervous, it was like having a first date... More like a blind date. He let out a long breath as footsteps approached, and smiled when he saw they belonged to Steve.   
"How you holding up big guy?" Steve said fondly, giving Bucky's shoulder a pat before plonking down in the seat beside him. He shot Bucky a reassuring smile, but could tell he was stressed, especially when the answer to his question had been not much more than a shrug and a sigh, followed with a nervous smile.  
"She'll be okay. Dr Reeves is awesome and all the feedback on Zara has been really good." Steve said, giving Bucky a friendly jab in the side with his elbow.  
"I know, I know... I'm just worried that she'll... She'll be different. What if she remembers me and hates me? ...What if she doesn't remember me and hates me?" He said, leaning forward in his seat, resting his elbows on his lap as he cracked his knuckles.   
"I don't know what to say, Buck. It's a given that things are gonna be different. Just how different is a mystery until she comes to. You just have to be understanding, and kind. Just be yourself, you're a great guy, she loved you for a reason. She'll find it again."  
"I'm not a great guy, I have a temper and I kill people. A lot. I scare pretty little blonde girls and mouth off too much. I break stuff. I'm an asshole" He said, giving a chuckle and hanging his head. Steve laughed along with him, and leaned forward on his chair, leaning on his knees as well.  
"Well, when you say it like that" He teased, making Bucky laugh again.  
"And hey, you're not an asshole" He added, giving a shrug and a fond smile, "You're a jerk."  
  
  
  
"Okay, injecting the drug now. I've only given a small dose, we'll try to bring her around as slowly as possible..." Dr Reeves said as she pushed slowly on the plunger, and withdrawing the needle when she was done. Zara's heart-rate spiked a little as was expected and her breathing quickened as her eyes started moving behind her eyelids. Coulson had stood up, and Dr Reeves had put her hand out as if to tell him to stand back, then raised a single finger to her lips to tell him silently to be quiet. Coulson took a step back, pursing his lips.   
He had been just as eager to get Zara back into action. Despite all the troubles they had had with her in the early days, he was quite fond of her and thought she was a good kid.   
  
"Zara?" Dr Reeves spoke softly and gently to her. Zara had her eyes jammed shut as if she was fighting the chemicals, as if desperately trying to claw her way into consciousness. Dr Reeves pushed another 2 ml into the catheter to help her, and a when it disappeared into the tiny needle in her hand, Zara began to stir.   
Her eyes slowly opened, the world coming into focus slowly through her cloudy vision. Coulson had reached across to close the blinds a little, the dim light would make it easier on her. He looked up, catching the faces of both Bucky and Steve through the ajar door. They had both risen to their feet, Bucky had his arms crossed in front of him and had stopped pacing back and fourth upon hearing that the drug had been administered. Coulson gave him a soft smile which he returned.  
  
"Zara, my name is Dr Sally Reeves, I am a friend... You're at a Shield facility, and you're safe" Came the gentle, soothing voice of Dr Reeves. Zara stirred, her eyes fully open now. Her face was twisted into confusion as she started into the eyes of the doctor, trying to make sense of where she was, and why she didn't know this woman in front of her. Her mind raced, trying to work out what the agenda of these people was. Were they to be trusted? Would they hurt her?  
Zara's breath quickened. Her eyes darted around the room suspiciously as she propped herself up a little.  
"Zara, you need to stay calm, okay honey? We will explain everything, but it's important you stay calm okay, we're not going to hurt you. You're safe here and we are all friends" Dr Reeves soothed again, readying a sedative just in case.  
Zara's eyes darted again and she caught sight of Coulson in the corner of the room in his suit. Suits, she'd seen men in suits before. He didn't give her a good feeling, she searched herself for a memory either way to pin the feeling on. There was nothing. Zara panicked. Her heart started racing and her breathing became fast and strained.   
Coulson took a step toward her with his hands raised to show her he meant no harm.  
"Zara my name is Agent Phil Coulson. I'm a friend. I'm here to make sure you're safe" He reasoned, giving her a warm smile. Zara shook her head at him and sat up, moving backwards on the bed towards the headboard.  
Her eyes darted again, catching Dr Reeves drawing liquid into a syringe.  
  
 _No, no, no..._  
  
She darted backwards in full blown panic mode, knocking water jug and a metal kidney bowl from the table next to her bed which both fell to the floor with a loud crash. Dr Reeves tapped the needle quickly, ready to inject her when there was a second crash as Bucky came bursting through the door in protective boyfriend mode, to see what the commotion was.   
Zara locked eyes with his metal arm, then his face. She let out a chilling scream, her eyes filled with absolute unbridled terror. She yanked her hands away from the tubes, pulling the catheter from the back of her hand, causing blood to spurt across the bed as she thrashed and attempted to escape.  
"Barnes, get the hell out!!!" Coulson ordered as he rushed to Zara to catch her and hold her down.  
Zara screamed again, bursting into tears and kicking with her legs trying to get away, but Dr Reeves was too quick, jabbing the needle into her arm and pushing the plunger. Zara fought it for a few seconds before her eyelids drooped and her body relaxed. It didn't knock her out, just taking the edge off, making her dopey.   
She pulled away from Dr Reeves as she tried to push the catheter back in, eventually getting tired of fighting and just let her do it. Her hand had locked onto the railing of the bed and she didn't want to let it go. Bucky stood frozen in the doorway, not sure what to do or say, Zara's eyes locked onto his. He gave her a gentle smile which she didn't return, just started at him, almost deadpan except for those eyes... Eyes full of fear, she looked like she was just waiting for someone to quite literally stab her in the back. She was shaking all over, sweat beading on her forehead.   
  
Bucky was pretty sure he felt his heart break right then and there. The only people he had had react to him like that were victims from his days as the Soldier. He never dreamed in a hundred years that Zara would look at him like that... He made up his mind that this was going to be bad, and even if things went back to normal, it would take work. Lots and lots of work.  
  
"Bucky..." Came Steve's soothing voice as he tugged on his shirt sleeve, pulling him away. Bucky forced a smile at Zara, trying to look friendly as possible. Her expression didn't change and she watched him intently as he backed slowly out the door.   
Him and Steve walked back down the hallway in silence, all they could hear echoing down the hall were her sobs and the voices of Coulson and Dr Reeves.  
  
Steve sat a coffee in front of Bucky, and sat opposite him at their table at the cafeteria. There wasn't many people in there which they were both grateful for. Bucky let out a long exasperated breath, staring down at his hot drink, his hands wrapped around the mug. There was something soothing about having a hot drink in your hands, even when you could only really feel with one of them.   
"I blew it..." Bucky said finally, not looking up. "She's actually... Terrified of me." He looked up at his friend across the table, a look of disbelief on his face as he shook his head.  
"It'll get better. Things were hard when you first came, and you'd already had the time to adjust... This is the first time she's come to after being strapped to that chair. Do you remember what it was like waking up after being wiped?"   
"I wish I did, I might be of some use if that was the case. I don't remember much of my time at hydra, only bits and pieces. The more I think about it, the more comes back to me. It's in there, I know because I dream about it. Often" He said, looking out across the room.   
"You know what else, she took the same amount of volts on that chair as what you did... You're a super soldier who weighs close to twice what she does, with almost a foot of height advantage as well. Imagine being hit with all that power if you were half your size, and didn't have the serum to strengthen you up?" Steve said, frowning as he spoke. "Not to mention, she was weak already from being experimented on..."  
Bucky winced at his words, thinking of it. It was a wonder she'd survived it at all...   
"It's going to be hard on her, real hard. But it's going to be tough on you, too. You're going to have to be VERY patient with her, but at the same time give her space. I know you want to keep her safe, but nothing bad will happen to her with all of us here, we've all got her back 100% and yours too." Steve said, giving a reassuring smile.  
"Thanks Steve. I know all of that, it's just hard having her there, but... Not having her. I just want to talk to her, tell her that I'm there when she's ready... Y'know, be supportive and keep her safe." Bucky said, stumbling on his words as his frustration built.   
"It's like I'm so close but so far away at the same time... I've never seen her look so scared before. I HATE it." He said, looking back up, his eyes meeting Steve's, a sympathetic smile on his face as he nodded.  
"It was the same expression I've seen a hundred times, back when I was their... Their weapon. Their 'asset', their soldier. I see those faces in my nightmares, people pleading for their lives that I just took without thinking twice about it. Now my girl has looked at me like that, and I just... Just... I just want to SMASH something!" He growled, opening his eyes, realizing that his hands were balled into fists, and Steve had a rather shocked look on his face. His eyes traveled down to where Steve was looking and he realized that the end of the table had snapped off where Bucky had slammed his fist down.  
  
Bucky blew out a long breath, calming himself. He shook his head and pushed himself away from the table. Steve had said something to him, but his mind was a sea of fog and he couldn't focus.  
His breathing deepened and he stood from his seat, knocking it over as he did and left the cafeteria. Steve had called out to him, but obviously had known better than to follow him. He needed to go and cool off. Seeing the machine and having it in the building had just about been too much to bear. Seeing her laying lifeless in the snow after the fall from the cliff had been hard, running through a Hydra bunker and hearing those screams... Tearing her lifeless body from the machine, and literally breathing the life back into her had just about torn his soul in half...  
But seeing Zara scream for her life at the mere sight of him had tipped him over the edge. If he hadn't been broken hearted before, he sure as hell was now. How could HIS girl be so damned afraid of him. He could deal with anger, he was expecting anger or aggression, but not fear. He was pretty well practiced with scaring people. He'd done it for 70 years, and even recently when he needed space or time or anything he'd use intimidation. He had no fucking clue how to make it work the other day, how to come across non-frightening to ease fear in people... Bucky seethed, his mind running a million miles an hour.   
He didn't know how to calm himself, let alone someone else, but at the same time he was willing to try anything to get her back. If it meant taking a new approach, then he'd take it, but he'd need to speak to someone about all this Hydra bullshit. It had gotten to him more than he cared to admit. Dr Reeves would know what to do, she'd done the whole psychology thing before.   
He'd need to work on his own anger and aggression. If he built up a re-pore with her, and lost his temper one day, she'd be back to square one. He didn't want to hurt anyone, especially not her.  
He hadn't had this much anger since his early days at Shield. He couldn't remember half the things that people had said he did. Maybe Tony had a point, maybe he'd watch the old security tapes and try to learn from them. Try to work out how to harness his anger.   
 It would take time, and he had all the time in the world to wait for her, but right now he needed to let off steam. He needed to punch the shit out of something.   
  
_Hopefully I don't run into anyone on the way to the gym..._


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ooooh so many feels! The first step toward some sort of normality, woohoo :D

  
  
Round two of waking Zara up properly and weaning her off the sedatives went much better. They had opted to strap her wrists and ankles down, going over her ankle cast in such a way that she wouldn't hurt herself. She had struggled, but Dr Reeves had been gentle with her, talking to her the whole time, and Zara had seen Coulson in the corner with his suit on and not reacted.  
  
"You're doing great, Zara. I'd like to undo these restraints, but only if you promise to stay still for me, okay?" Dr Reeves said in a reassuring, kind voice. She gave Zara a genuine smile, and after a few seconds Zara nodded her head, and didn't fight.  
"That's a girl. Much better, huh" Dr Reeves smiled as she took the straps away. "We're here to help you, no harm will come to you here." she said reassuringly.  
"I'm just going to lean down to prop your bed up, okay? You'll be much more comfortable" She said, finding the control at the end of a cable under the mattress. She handed it to Zara and explained how to use it, Just in case she'd like to lay flat again, or change position.  
"Is that better?" She asked. Zara gave a nod, and closed her eyes, looking like she was just having a moment to steady herself mentally.  
  
It was hard for her to suppress a reaction. Something inside her made her want to just flip the hell out. She wanted to smash things, hurt people, and run. She wanted to run like hell, and didn't care where.  
  
"I'm going to touch your face and shine a light into your eyes okay? Just lay still for me, Zara" She said, placing a hand on her forehead. Zara jumped and jerked back, her breathing quickening again. She set her jaw and concentrated on making herself relax. She had no idea why she was so jumpy, but it was a reaction that came naturally.  
"Sorry" She croaked out, her voice strained and raspy.  
"She speaks!" Dr Reeves cheered, teasing her. Zara's expression didn't change, and no laughter came. Her eyes were examined, Dr Reeves shining her pen light into both, making Zara blink. She couldn't see a damn thing after having light in her face, her eyes took forever to adjust to the dim room again.  
"I'm just teasing you Zara, it's good to hear your voice again. Open your mouth please, I'd like to check your throat and take your temperature" Dr Reeves said as Zara opened her mouth and let her place a Popsicle stick on her tongue and shone a light into her throat. She took it back out again and gave Zara a smile and a nod. She swiped the thermometer over her face and behind her ear, reading the display on the device and entering the information into the tablet.  
"How's your pain?" She asked, leaning over the bed with a concerned look on her face. "Is your ankle or ribs sore?"  
"Yes" Came the simple, husky answer.  
"I thought so, your pupils are blown and you're still shaking. Your throat is red raw but it won't develop into anything too bad, you had your tonsils out as a kid by the looks of it?" She asked as she entered some more data into the tablet, suddenly looking up at Zara's confused expression. Raising a hand over her mouth, she suddenly felt terrible for asking such a question. There was no way she'd remember a medical procedure as a child if she'd just had her slate wiped clean.  
"Oh my God, I'm sorry... Don't answer that..." She said letting out a breath as she pushed her bright red bangs back off her face.  
"I'm going to give you an antibiotic, and a painkiller as well. We'll start you on a course of tablets, just to clear everything up and make you more comfortable. " She said with a nod.  
"Do you remember Agent Phil Coulson, Zara? He's a friend of everyone here. Do you mind if he comes to say hello to you?"  
Confusion flashed over Zara's face again before she muttered an "It's okay" and with that Dr Reeves motioned for him to come in.  
"If you feel overwhelmed at all, you press the button on your bed remote, and I'll come straight back in, okay? I'm going to go order your prescription and send someone to go pick it up" She said with a smile.  
  
Coulson walked in and Zara stiffened up but didn't react like last time.  
"Hi Zara. Good to see you again, kid" He said, giving her a warm smile. She had the feeling like she was supposed to know him. Whatever had happened to her must have been something huge, because all these people knew her, but she didn't know them. She looked Coulson up and down, deciding he can't have been as bad as she thought he was yesterday...  
"Hi" She croaked out. Her throat hurt, it was hard for her to speak, and Coulson realized it. He gave her another smile and shook his head in disbelief.  
"This is surreal, I can't even put into words how glad I am that they got you home again. You're going to meet a few people all over again, Zara and I'll be here to help you as much as I can. maybe not today but over the next few weeks" He said, getting a nod in response from her.  
"I'll introduce you to Steve tomorrow morning if you're up for it, and Bucky will probably want to speak to you as well. He's been really worried about you. You two were... Close..." he said, choosing his words wisely, earning a look of confusion from her. She went to speak but he put his hand up as if to tell her not to.  
"That's something for another day. I just wanted you to know that there are a lotta people here that care about you a lot. We're like a family here" He said, giving a smile.  
  
  
  
"How you goin' Buck?" Came Steve's voice as he strolled into the gym. Bucky was letting a punching bag have it, and after the mess he'd made out of several punching bags the day before, he'd promised to go reasonably easy on them. Bucky looked up and gave him a shrug as Steve made his way over to the bag, holding it steady and giving Bucky a nod to start punching again, neither of them saying anything for several minutes. Bucky stopped after his set, stretched his neck both ways, and took a breath, starting another set a few seconds later.  
"Coulson just rang me" Steve said casually. "Zara's up and she's even talking. Nicely" he said, looking up as Bucky stopped punching the bag, lips coming apart with curiosity and brows pinching together.  
"Is she okay? What did she say?" He asked, raising a brow.  
"Not much, she's got some sort of a throat thing going on, and she's in a bit of pain, but aside from that, all signs are good. Coulson talked to her a little, he said she was tense, but she's gonna be alright" Steve said, rubbing the back of his neck.  
"I'm glad she's okay" He said, setting his jaw and looking back to the bag, flexing his fists.  
  
Steve cocked his head, looking sympathetically at Bucky as he threw his weight into each punch, letting the anger and frustration flow out of him with each hit. His face was twisted up into some sort of a snarl crossed with something he could only describe as sadness. It broke his heart to see Bucky this way.  
He knew what it was like loosing the person you were closest to... All the time grieving for them. Wishing you had of just reached out a little further, tried a little harder to save them. Going over and over in your head what went on the day they died, and even worse the 'what if's' and the self blame. The guilt was too much to bear even on a good day...  
  
Then there was the shock of hearing they were alive after all this time, and they'd been tortured, day in and day out, and you weren't there to protect them. They were trapped without a person in the world who knew, no-one coming to the rescue, no-one who cared.  
  
It was history quite literally repeating itself. What Steve had gone through with Bucky, Bucky was going through with Zara. He'd come back with much of his memory gone, but with the guilt of knowing what he'd been in the past added to that, and a short fuse to match.  
He sighed, he could see his friend regressing. Bucky was a different person now than he was 6 or 7 months ago. When Zara had been around and things had been going well, he had almost been back to being the person Steve knew in the 40's. The happy-go-lucky guy who was always up for a laugh and a good time.  
Then he became an angry, reactive, aggressive type of guy until that day they pulled the girls from the rubble in the Hydra base. It softened him a little having sympathy for Zara, and he'd been there to help her, in his own way of course. It had been his saving grace, and Steve had gotten his best friend back for a while.  
  
"I've got some other good news, too" Steve said, making Bucky pause from his punches.  
"Yeah?" he said, catching his breath.  
"We can go see her in the morning" Steve said, flashing a smile which Bucky didn't return. Bucky pulled his gloves off one by one and threw them into the corner harder than he needed to, to where his gym bag was sitting. He pushed his hair back off his face with both hands and let out a strained growl to himself. He shook his head.  
"No." he snapped, tension in his voice.  
"No?" Steve asked, screwing his face up in confusion. All this time it was all Bucky had spoken about, it was the moment he'd been waiting for and now he was backing out? Just like that?  
"No, I mean you should go. I can't. I shouldn't go." He said, a pained look on his face.  
Steve pursed his lips, not quite sure what to say in response.  
"Bucky I know you, it would be good for you to go in and say hi."  
"Don't you understand, Steve!? I'm not... ALRIGHT right now. Can't you SEE that?" He said, frustration in his tone as he flexed his hands into fists.  
"I can see that clear as day-"  
"No! No you CAN'T see. I'm not... ME right now" He said, his voice shaking as he tried to calm himself. He clenched his jaw and took a deep breath.  
"Steve, I was doing fine. I was happy, and then... And then I lost her..." He said, looking into Steve's eyes, biting his lip for a second. Steve frowned, it wasn't often that Bucky's eyes glazed over, but when they did it was always serious.  
"You lost yourself too, didn't you?" He said,  sympathetically.  
"I guess I kinda did..." He said, letting out a single melancholy chuckle, looking down at the floor again. "I'm still not over it. I mean, I know she's alive, we're here in the same building and she's here, she's safe... But it still hurts, y'know? I'm glad she's alive, but she's not... Zara. She's not MY Zara. So forgive me if I'm the only one not jumping up and down in celebration." He said, his voice taking on a dark undertone.  
"She'll find her way. She's been awake for less than 24 hours, and she's already talking. That's a huge step whether you realize it or not. You took months to utter a non-threatening word to anyone here when you first came to us at Shield." He said, giving a reassuring smile.  
"I know all that, I'm doing this for her benefit, not mine. Don't you realize I'm DYING inside, waiting to see her? Waiting to hold her in my arms? I hate this... But I need to get some self control. I feel like I'm wound up so tight I could snap at any moment, and I don't want her to be around me if that happens. I'm dangerous to her, Steve" He said, an utterly heartbroken look on his face.  
  
Steve nodded, he understood perfectly well. It would have been an agonizing decision for Bucky to have to make, but one he'd made out of love for her. He hated seeing his best friend in pain, but it was only temporary, he was sure of it.  
He'd given Bucky a hug - even though he hadn't particularly wanted to be hugged - and when he saw a flicker of a smile on his face he'd smiled too.  
  
  
The next morning had rolled around quickly, Steve had gotten up, showered, dressed, shaved and made his way down to the infirmary. He'd knocked twice on the door and Coulson had called him in.  
He saw her sitting up in bed, a blanket over her legs and she was in a white hospital gown. Her now shoulder-length hair was out, and it looked like someone had brushed it out for her. She was still pale and her face was gaunt, but her eyes had that sparkle back in them again and she looked alert.  
"Zara, this is Steve" Coulson said, motioning at the tall, blonde man in the doorway. She looked up from her bed, pulling the blanket up to her chin and watching his as he approached.  
"Hey Z, It's so good to see you!" He asked, giving a smile as he sat in the seat by her bed. "How are you feeling?"  
Her eyes shot to Coulson and back at Steve again. Uncertainty in her face as she watched them both, a brow raised. Her hands trembled a little but she jammed them under the blanket. This didn't go unnoticed by Steve who simply smiled at her and didn't make a big deal out of it.  
"Her voice has gone a bit, we've started her on a course of antibiotics to clear up anything in there, and some painkillers for those sore ribs and ankle." Coulson said, filling him in. "Dr Reeves was able to set the ankle break for her while she was under, so just got 5 more weeks in the cast, and she'll be right as rain" he beamed, earning a nod off Steve.  
"It's so good to see you again, Zara, we're all pretty fond of you around here" he said after clearing his throat. "When you're out what do you say to me taking you for a walk and showing you around?" he said, giving her another smile.  
"I know Bucky misses you, hopefully he can come say hello again, properly this time. Do you remember him?" He asked. Zara shook her head, confusion clouding her expression again, her eyes darting between Steve and Coulson as she clenched her jaw.  
"Never mind, I'll tell you about him another time. He said to send you his well wishes he hopes you're feeling better soon" Steve smiled. Zara nodded, propping herself up a little more, wincing with pain as she did. Steve stood to help her, and stopped in his tracked when he saw her jump at his movement, quickly backing off.  
"Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you, do you need me to help you sit up?" He asked, his face full of sympathy. She shook her head and croaked out a small, raspy "no" and then bit her lip, dropping her head.  
Steve saw her shoulders drop and start to shake and he realized she was sobbing when her hands went to her face. He shot a concerned look to Coulson who motioned for him to leave the room.  
"It was nice to see you again Zara" He said softly as he rose to his feet and left. Coulson called for Dr Reeves who had talked her out of tears when she'd broken down the night before. He pursed his lips as he waited for the doctor to arrive.  
It was going to be a long hard road for everyone...  
  
  
  
The next couple of weeks dragged on. Zara's voice had come back, and she'd started to speak a little. Steve and Coulson came to visit her most days and had made progress. The trick had been not to ask her questions, just to speak to her and let her speak when she was ready to. To ask a question meant she had to think, and she'd get frustrated and upset when she couldn't come up with an answer or had to process something complicated.  
She wasn't as jumpy around those she was familiar with which was a great start, but around strangers things weren't so good.  
Zara was beginning to crave independence, and being stuck in a bed was irritating her. There were a few days where she had been snappy and frustrated, and when Dr Reeves had suggested she go back to her own room, her expression had relaxed. It was the closest thing they'd had to a smile, so they decided to roll with the idea and see how it went.  
  
They decided to move her early in the morning before most people were up and going. The morning light was just shining through the blinds but there wasn't any traffic in the corridors. Zara had turned her nose up at the option of a wheelchair and opted for a pair of forearm crutches which she had taken a few practice laps around the infirmary with to get the hang of. She couldn't believe how uncoordinated she was, and found herself wondering if she was uncoordinated before her accident, or whatever caused her to forget everything.  
Nobody had actually explained anything to her. She was sure that it was because they were worried she'd freak out.  
She hadn't had a meltdown in a few days, and was starting to feel a little more confident in herself, and around those who were familiar to her. Coulson had promised to tell her everything once she'd met everyone, especially this elusive James 'Bucky' Barnes who everyone kept telling her she was supposedly so close to. Zara wondered why he hadn't made an appearance if they had been as close as Steve and Coulson had said, surely he would have been the first person to rush to her aid? She brushed the thought off, they were obviously keeping him away for good reason, maybe he'd been injured in the accident as well?  
  
Zara made her way down the hall with Dr Reeves on one side and Steve on the other. There was something oddly familiar about them. The feeling ached at her somewhere in the pits of her stomach, almost like grief. Was she grieving for her past life? Her mind was racing again and she realized that Steve was trying to get her attention. She pulled her head up out of the brain-fog long enough to listen.  
"Zara? Zara!?"  
Her head snapped up and she felt as if she'd been sleep walking. She made eye contact with him and he gave her a smile.  
"You still with me, down there?"  
"Yeah, sorry" She said, her voice small.  
"All good, we're about to go up the elevator, you remember what that is?" He asked, she turned  and screwed her face up in annoyance. "Okay, we remember elevators, that's a good sign" he said, clearing his throat awkwardly. Dr Reeves stifled a giggle as she pressed the button and lead the way into the lift as the doors opened.  
Zara's grip on her crutches tightened when the doors closed and she jammed her eyes shut and clenched her jaw.  
"You okay?" Steve asked, seeing her reaction. She nodded without opening her eyes. He looped his arm around hers in case she got wobbly, she was already shaking so at least he was prepared if she hit the deck.  
"I've got you" He said, giving her a smile. She turned and looked up at him, a brow raised. Those words had set her brain off. She had a feeling, but couldn't pin it on anything, they were supposed to remind her of something but she didn't know what. She set her jaw, frustrated and uneasy. She hated her brain right now. It was like being surrounded by signs, and she couldn't read any of them. She'd see something, or hear something and her mind would 'flag' it, but then nothing...  
  
They approached her room and handed her a key card. She looked at both Steve and Dr Reeves in turn and her hand reached out to the reader, and scanned it, a light click could be heard from the mechanism as the door unlocked. They stood back and she took that as her cue to open the door, awaiting the flood of emotion and memory she was sure she'd be hit with. But there was nothing. None of it looked familiar, and for a moment she thought she might cry.  
She bit the inside of her cheek, distracting herself as she walked into the middle of the room, turning herself to look around.  
"So this is it?" She asked rhetorically. "This is my room..."  
"You have your own bathroom, the door is right by the bed head there on the back wall" Steve said, pointing. There's a kitchenette around that corner with a sink, kettle and microwave and some bench space. Meals can be eaten in the common-room, or delivered to your room and you can eat them here" He said, motioning towards the small four seat, frosted glass top dining table. It was a very modern style room, all the appliances were glass or black stainless steel, the bench tops in the kitchenette were black on dark wooden cabinets. The wardrobe doors were mirrored and everything in the bathroom was gleaming white. Steve showed her how to use the phone, and how to use the lights and appliances. She was almost certain most of it would go in one ear and out the other, but he assured her she could call him any time of the day or night, and there was no question too big or small.  
  
They eventually left her alone, leaving her standing in the middle of the room when they left the room, closing the door behind her. Zara made her way over to the bed, sitting on it as if to test it out. She smoothed the comforter with her hand and closed her eyes, focusing on anything she could. The smell of the linen, the sounds of the city outside the open window, the warmth of the split system as it quietly came to life, warming her. She bit her lip with worry, suddenly feeling very alone, she felt like she hadn't been alone in a long time, longer than her memory permitted, anyway. She went into the bathroom, opening the drawers and learning where everything was, and caught her reflection in the mirror.  
She got no feeling from seeing her own face. There were blue eyes, black hair which looked like it had seen better days, pale skin and dark circles under her eyes. She wondered if she had been pretty when she was healthy. She looked at the backs of her hands, they were bruised from her IV catheters and her nails were chewed short.  
That feeling that she might cry came back again. She looked into the mirror and watched her eyes well up with curiosity.  
  
_Who is this pathetic creature staring back at me?_  
  
She let herself cry for a few minutes, watching herself in the mirror before gritting her teeth and making herself toughen up. Whoever she was before this, it can't have been someone weak. At least she hoped not.  
She made it her mission to find out more. If it freaked her out then so be it, at least she'd know.  
  
  
  
Bucky had been in the gym when he'd heard the footsteps up the corridor and the click clack of crutches. He'd waited till they had passed and then proceeded to watch them as they made their way to the elevator.  
His heart had skipped a beat when they'd gone to her room, and only Steve and the Doctor had come out. Whether his heart had skipped with glee, nerves or anxiety he wasn't sure, but she was one step closer to being the girl she had been the last time she'd crossed that threshold.  
The more he thought about it, the more curiosity gripped him. He found himself standing at her door, arm up as if he were about to knock. He had stopped himself before his knuckles made contact and bit his lip.  
  
_Too soon, way too soon._  
  
He took a deep breath, resting his head silently on the side of the door frame, one corner of his mouth curving into a smile for a fleeting moment.  
  
_Not long now..._  
  



	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another little update for you guys because you are so good to me :) Kaytee xo
> 
> Zara's recovery makes a few positive leaps and bounds. Someone plants a bad seed in her head and she has a run-in with a key player from her past...

  
  
Zara continued to settle into her new routine of being at home in her apartment, having meals brought in, and daily visits from Dr Reeves. On most days Steve would drop in for a coffee and a chat, usually smalltalk with the odd bit of 'brotherly advice', but still nothing had been explained to her on what happened the day she went missing, or where she'd been. Only that it would all be revealed soon when she met all the people involved.  
If there was one thing Steve was great at, it was dodging questions and skipping around the truth... Whatever happened to her that day, it must have made one hell of a story.  
Zara had been understandably frustrated, but it was really something that Steve felt Bucky needed to be involved in, whenever he was ready. This had of course been problematic for Steve, juggling these two was becoming hard work, and he was just about ready to lock them in a room and let whatever happen, happen.  
Steve made a mental note to give Bucky a kick up the butt, if Zara was asking questions, she was clearly ready to be told about it all, and mentally in a good place to handle it all without flipping out and going into meltdown. Bucky was going to have to suck it up and deal with it as soon as possible. Playing dodge-the-question was not helping anyone.  
  
Bucky had been having appointments with Dr Reeves as well to help battle his stress and anger. The first couple of sessions he had clammed up on her, but when he finally started to open up she realized that he was really just intimidated by the whole situation. He felt deep down that he had let Zara down that day, he blamed himself for her 'death' and subsequent capture. He blamed himself that she was tortured for 6 months, beaten down both physically and mentally. If she never found her way to her old self again, he'd blame himself for that too. He had destroyed one of the only good things in his life, the one thing that had brought him back from the brink and he hated himself for it, every single day.  
All he had left was anger, and the more people tried to push him, the harder it got. Dr Reeves had reminded him of Zara's past missions, and that nobody could have stopped her protecting someone she loved. She was annoyingly headstrong and overprotective.  
"Reminds me of someone else..." Dr Reeves had teased, and Bucky had smiled. Actually smiled a real smile.  
Small victories like that made it all worth it, and Bucky had agreed to finally meet with Zara. He was ready to put his fears behind him and do whatever he could to help her. If she hated him for everything that had happened, then so be it, but he owed it to her to try.  
  
Zara's ankle had started to show some real promise and her ribs only bothered her if she coughed or knocked them, thankfully neither of these things happened very often. Dr Reeves ordered another x-ray to be taken the following week, and then if the bones had healed she could go into a moon boot and start some physio.  
Zara had been glad to hear it, a fleeting smile had even crept onto her face if only for a second, but it had been there.  
She was re-introduced to Natasha and took an instant liking to her, she was straight forward and said what she thought, so it had been refreshing. Unfortunately she had been another tight-lipped person when it came time for Zara to ask questions about her accident. It had been incredibly frustrating, but Zara tried not to hold it against her, or Steve for that matter. There were obviously protocols in place and all would be explained in due course... Unless she could rope someone into spilling the beans...  
That would mean she'd have to make an effort to be friendly to others... The thought made her sick to her stomach, talking to people. Letting her guard down and letting people in. This was going to be difficult, but she needed to do it. Every person she spoke to she counted as a small victory, and it had been said right from the start that she needed to be more patient with others, and herself.  
She had been told constantly that she was safe here at Shield, and nobody had ever given her a reason to doubt that. It was time to suck it up and start moving on.  
  
  
  
Zara towel dried her hair vigorously and pulled it back into a messy bun, still wet. She dressed herself in her PJ's and turned the bed on, she was tired and looking forward to getting under the blanket and warming up after dinner with a movie. She looked at her watch the same time as her door buzzer went off. 6.05pm exactly. Routine had done her the world of good, she was a lot more relaxed when things flowed like clockwork.  
She picked up her crutches and made her way over to the door, and was surprised when she was faced with a pretty young girl about her age, rather than the middle-aged lady who usually delivered her tray.  
Zara had jumped upon seeing her but the blonde girl shot her a beaming smile and held the tray out. She looked harmless enough.  
"Hi Zara, how are you feeling sweetie?" She asked kindly, batting her eyes, flashing those perfect straight white teeth, framed by glossy pink lips.  
"Good thanks" Came Zara's reply.  
"Oh now don't be shy around me, you know me. We were the BEST of friends. Where can I set this down for you honey?" She asked, a slight southern accent coming through.  
Zara nodded over to the glass top table, the blonde girl skipped over and set the tray down, going over to the kitchenette and bringing back 2 glasses. She pulled a can of coke from her hoodie pocket and held it up.  
"I brought you your favorite!" She said, almost as if bribing Zara to sit. She closed the front door and was surprised when the blonde girl sat at the table opposite her.  
"Come, sit. I've already had my dinner, I want to talk to you. I believe there are a few things you wanna know" She said, raising her brows twice and giving a smirk. Zara was intrigued. The blonde poured the coke out between the two glasses and handed her one. Yep, this stuff was nice, Blondie must know what she's talking about.  
"So... Lets cut to the chase here. What have you been told about the day you went missing?" Blondie asked, cocking her head in a 'know it all' kind of fashion. Zara shook her head and shrugged, her face blank.  
"Nothing?"  
"Nothing."  
"Okay... Well have you gotten to meet everyone yet?" She asked, taking a sip of her coke.  
"I've met Steve, Coulson, Natasha and then there's Dr Reeves, obviously." Zara said, keeping her eyes down.  
"So you haven't met... Y'know... HIM?" she said, making inverted commas with her fingers as she spoke.  
"Him?"  
"Okay, I'll fill you in..." She said, pulling a bag of skittles from her pocket, pouring a few into her hand, and then into Zara's. Zara wondered how much else this girl had stashed in that hoodie of hers.  
Blondie leaned in as if she was telling a secret, Zara listened in, hoping that this would answer all her questions. She had a feeling Blondie wasn't supposed to be letting her in on all this, but if they were best friends... Well best friends tell each other everything, right?  
  
"They call him The Winter Soldier." Blondie said, lowering her voice. "He's a super soldier like Steve. Do you understand what that is?"  
"Yeah, super strength and all that, right?"  
"Super speed, stamina, heightened senses, the works... He's a master assassin. He's killed hundreds of people, and I mean HUNDREDS. Maybe even more than that. He shot Natasha twice and almost killed Steve." She said, letting her voice tremble.  
  
Zara's heartbeat quickened. This guy HAD to have had something to do with her disappearance, she was sure of it. Why else would Princess, here, be telling her about this guy otherwise? This was getting interesting.  
"He even has a metal arm-" She said, being cut off by a gasp. Zara panicked, loosing her breath. Blondie jumped up and ran to steady her. She was shaking like a leaf. Metal arm... The guy who had run at her the day she woke up had had a metal arm.  
"I've seen him... He... He was here in the building..." Zara stammered, Blondie nodding at her as she sat Zara back down again, making her take a sip of her drink as she rubbed her back, soothing her.  
"Are you okay? I don't want to give you a panic attack..."  
"Too late..." Zara gasped, calming herself.  
"I might leave the rest for another day, sweetie. I just wanted to warn you about him. He's here for rehabilitation, but only because he's Steve's closest friend. He is DANGEROUS. Make no mistake about that. If you see him, you RUN" She pleaded, Zara wide eyed and nodding, her lips parted.  
"You run like hell, don't stop for a breath, and don't look back. He's a super powered, finely tuned killing machine, and he has a temper like a tornado. I've had a run in with him and I was lucky to get out alive. I won't say any more, but he played a big part in your dea- I mean disappearance... Just so you know." She said, giving a nod.  
"Were you going to say death?" Zara almost whispered, earning a nod from Blondie.  
"I'm sorry sweetie, we all thought you had died. It was just... Awful" She said, a big sad frown on her pretty face.  
  
Zara sat in stunned silence. Here she was in a place where she was told she was safe, and there was a super powered half-robot killer guy on the loose. Who had a temper, and had caused her death, or disappearance, or whatever the hell happened.  
  
_Holy fuck... HOLY FUCK._  
  
"Anyway, I should leave you to it. Sorry if I upset you, I just thought you needed to know the truth. I care about you Zara and I hope we can be best friends again. I just wanted to be honest with you. You deserve it, especially after all you've been through" She said, giving the biggest Texan Cheerleader smile there ever was.  
"Well, there go my morning walks..." Zara mused under her breath.  
"Oh no, don't let that stop you, he's locked up in the basement, and this is a secure level. Oh god honey, do you think I'd say all this just to frighten you? Oh lord no, bless you!" She pulled Zara in for an abrupt hug which wasn't returned.  
"Sweet dreams, honey. I'm not too far away if you need me, I'm in room 192, and where are my manners!? You've probably forgotten my name, it's Rachael" She beamed, blowing a kiss and waving as she left. "Love ya!"  
Zara let out a deep breath as she closed the door after Rachael left. She clicked the deadlock into place, at leaned her back against the closed door, her heart still racing. Her brain ran at a million miles per hour as she tried to get her head around all this new information.  
Her stomach growled, interrupting her train of thought. She certainly didn't feel like anything to eat, but without a bin and her meals being monitored she'd have to force some of it down. Plus her medication had to be taken with food. She wandered over to the table, opened the lid on the tray and saw it was a roast dinner. It smelled freaking amazing, and she thought despite herself, she might be able to get a few bites in.  
  
  
  
She hadn't slept the entire night worrying about Metal-arm guy. She had gone through every possible scenario in her head of what she might have to do with him - he shot her? Hit her with a car? Threw her off a mountain? Chloroform? Taken her in her sleep? There were no scars from being stabbed, but there was a few gunshot scars, the most recent one being in her side just under her arm. Maybe he shot her, but that didn't account for the memory loss unless he beat her over the head as well. She felt sick just thinking about it.  
She must have done something pretty horrible to him to make herself a target. Why did he want to hurt her? Why the hell did Shield allow him and her to be in the same building together, whether he was locked up or not... What the hell was he doing in her room that day?  
She gasped suddenly.  
Barnes... Coulson had called him Barnes when he'd told him to get out. Yes that was definitely right, he MUST be James Barnes, Bucky as they called him, and that must be why they hadn't introduced him to her. Of course he was there the day she had her accident. Everyone kept telling her they had been close, she'd gotten that from a few people, only for them to go quiet, just clam up on her. But he'd had something to do with her disappearance... Yet he was dangerous. Locked up and in rehabilitation.  
Had they had an affair that went sour? Was she a cheater? Was HE a cheater? Were they close friends who just had the absolute mother of fall outs? Why would she be close to a super powered killer, and then piss him RIGHT the hell off? It made no sense whatsoever, unless the whole 'close' thing was a crock of shit so that she didn't hate him?  
  
The room was spinning, Zara forced herself to sit up.  
There was no other explanation... Zara started to put the pieces of the puzzle together. They had been close, something had happened, something big. He had tried to kill her for it, and she had gone missing, presumed dead. Shield had found him and locked him up for it. He'd been given leniency for being a friend of Steve's, but since then he had attacked Rachael. Maybe he'd only been locked back up since then?  
The timeline of events were sketchy at best, but at least there were enough clues to string something feasible together, and it was enough to make sense. It explained her disappearance, memory loss - she must have taken a hit to the head... Or several... It explained James Barnes' absence over the past four or five weeks, or however long she'd been back at Shield.  
It was any wonder they'd kept him away from her. It was for her safety obviously.  
  
Zara swung her feet over the side of the bed, reaching for her crutches as she made her way to the bathroom, going over everything in her head. She had resigned herself to the fact that Shield was a fairly safe place to be. She had a nice room, she was free to go wherever she wanted, she was receiving medical treatment, meals and snacks, and everyone had been nice to her. Even when she'd been not so nice back.  
They were trying to help, and it was time she made an effort to be a bit easier to get along with. She rinsed her toothbrush after brushing her teeth, putting the toothpaste back in the cabinet, and pulled out a small bag, fishing a mascara from it and giving a smile.  
  
_Time to become me again..._  
  
She made a mental note to ask about those photos she'd been told about. There were photos of her and friends around Shield, she wanted to know who she was. She'd been told she was an excellent agent, and although she'd been sassy, she had been fairly well respected. It was time she got back on the horse.  
She pulled her wardrobe open and pulled a pair of sweatpants on, choosing the nicest ones - a low slung purple pair with a brand name etched down one of the legs. It was the only thing that would fit over her cast. She let out a chuckle at the thought, and pulled on a long sleeve fitted shirt. It was a plain black V neck, she noticed there were a heap of them, all the same. Training shirts for the colder weather? Mission shirts? She made a mental note to ask Rachael when she saw her next.  
She took a dark purple scarf from the back of the door, doubled it over and put it around her neck, pulling it through herself.  
  
_So much purple, black and red... Okay, those were my favorite colors then..._  
  
She pulled her hair back into a high ponytail and made her way to the door, scanning her card and stepping out. She had gotten into the habit of going for a wander through the corridors early in the morning. There was usually never anyone else up at this hour as it was still mostly dark outside, maybe a few red morning rays coming through the windows which for some reason she liked.  
She usually went to the right, but today in light of her decision to try something different, to try to expand her horizons, she opted to go left instead.  
Her 'walk' was a slow paced hobble, not so much for exercise despite the upper body workout it had been on the crutches, but more of an exploration journey. This whole end had been apartments, but as she got further down the corridor it became offices and training rooms. She noticed one was full of chairs and tables and something stirred in her gut. This room had meant something to her, but there was no memory to link to the feeling. She must have spent time in here. She spent a few minutes looking in through the window of the door. Such a strange feeling, it was like spying on someone, like she was looking at something she knew she shouldn't, and there was almost guilt. She let out a breath and took a step back, continuing along the corridor. There was noise she could hear further up, rhythmic bangs in sets of 5, the last one was usually louder than the rest.  
Her stomach tuned over, and fear gripped her. Her head screamed RUN, but she had been running away since she'd been here at Shield, and it had gotten nowhere. It was time to be brave, keep on going. Nobody here was going to hurt her.  
Her face twisted into a snarl as she fought against herself in her head.  
  
_You can't be afraid of everything forever..._  
  
This was hard. Harder than Dr Reeves had said it would be. She swallowed and pressed on, and as she got closer to the noise, she realized it was behind a door. Just some poor guy trying to have a workout in peace, and here she was thinking he was a psycho murder or something. Relief washed over her and she scolded herself for being so paranoid and making horrible assumptions about him. He was probably a perfectly nice guy. She stood a few feet away from the door, not wanting to interrupt him as he worked, but was enthralled watching him. So much control and power with every punch. He was a tall, muscular guy. Real muscular, maybe a gym junkie or something. She didn't have a great view through the tiny glass window, the sun was just starting to come up and it was getting quite glarey coming through the glass.  
Just about time for her to get back, anyway. People would be getting up, and she felt she'd already conquered enough for one day than worry about coming face to face with a corridor full of Shield staff.  
She let out a little laugh at herself, looking down at her feet, and as she did she noticed the banging sound stopped. She lifted her head, and noticed the guy in the gym was looking straight  at her, wide eyed and in shock. Her mouth opened as well and all she wanted to do was turn invisible and run. She was suddenly jealous of all the people around here who had super powers.  
The man stepped out from behind the punching bag and that's when she saw it.  
  
_He has a metal arm... He's looking right at me and he has a metal arm..._  
  
She gasped and her hand shot over her mouth at the same time her heart rate quadrupled. Or maybe it stopped completely. She was sure it could have been either. The crutch that was looped around her elbow fell to the floor with a loud clang, the sound echoing up the corridor. Metal arm guy ran to the door, and Zara was frozen where she stood.  
  
_I'm going to die... This is it..._  
  
Her brain finally forced her body to move, taking a step back, and before she knew it adrenaline kicked in. The gym door swung open and she was face to face with him, only a few feet away. She was taken over by absolute panic as she threw the other crutch at him. He raised the metal arm and caught it. There was a loud ting of the metal crutch met that of his hand. The expression on his face was hard for her to read, if she had of known better she would have thought it was almost a look of concern. No, he was a master assassin. He was just trying to draw her in, those piercing blue eyes would be enough to draw anyone in, she was sure of it.  
  
_Run. Run like hell and don't stop to take a breath. Don't look back, he is DANGEROUS_  
  
Rachael's words echoed in her head over and over like a mantra. Zara had to get out of there. She turned to run and as she did, she tripped, going over backwards. He lunged at her suddenly and there was an impact behind her, which knocked the breath from her lungs before her head hit the ground.  
Everything went black.  
  
_I'm dead..._


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zara and Bucky have a little chat :)
> 
> Thanks so much for all the Kudos and comments everyone! You are all amazing, it is such good writing motivation :)  
> Kaytee xoxo

  
  
Zara's eyes creaked open, she felt like she was floating. Her feet were swinging with every rhythmical step he took, and her sore head was leaning against his warm, firm chest. She looked  up, too woozy to speak still. She saw a strong set of shoulders, and a sharp jawline above her, framed by long brown hair.  
He looked down at her, lips pressed into a firm line, his expression not changing. Her eyes floated down the the arm under her knees, and the metal hand firmly gripping her thigh as he carried her down the corridor. She wanted to fight him, but she was dizzy. So, so dizzy. Her eyelids grew heavy again and she felt her body relax again as the blackness took her.  
  
  
  
"No, she looks like she's waking up again now... What do you mean you can't get here?... Of course I'm not going anywhere... No, no!... Wait!... Fuck..."  
Zara could hear him, it sounded like he was talking on the phone. There were footsteps, and then silence as the bed sunk down beside her.  
She waited for it, the sting of a blade, hands on her throat, anything... But they never came. She forced her eyelids open, and looked up at him, her mouth open with shock as her heart rate went through the roof again.  
  
_Run! RUN!_  
  
Those words echoed in her head again. She knew she wouldn't get away from him but she had to try. She propped herself up on the bed and backed away from him as quick as she could go. His metal hand snapped forward and gripped her thigh, stopping her. She gasped, opening her mouth to scream, but his other hand was over her mouth at lightening speed as he crawled onto the bed, hovering over her.  
She looked up at him, he was on top of her and she was pinned on the bed. His body was touching hers but he was supporting his own weight as he looked down at her. She trembled beneath him.  
Zara started into his eyes as tears slid from hers, waiting for whatever fate was coming to her. She couldn't put a finger on the expression on his face, he looked like he was literally in pain, his brows pinched and his jaw clenched. This guy was about to snap.  
They stayed like that for several moments, both waiting for the other to react. They glared into each others' eyes, trying to read any messages that may be hidden in blue orbs - hers wet and frightened, his intense and unwavering.  
As if they were both unwittingly terrified of what the other might do, neither dared to move. Bucky swallowed hard before he had the courage to speak.  
  
"Zara... I'm going to take my hand away now, but only if you promise not to scream" He said, his voice steady and relaxed.  
Despite herself, she nodded her head slowly, and true to his word he slowly took his hand away, putting it down beside her other shoulder on the bed to balance himself, still hovering over her. Zara furrowed her brows, all she could think of was what kind of sick game he was playing with her. There was only one kind of guy who tries to pin a girl onto a bed without her consent...  
  
_Oh god..._  
  
The gravity of the situation hit her like a ton of bricks as another tear slid from her eye. There was no way she was going to be able to fight this guy off...  
"Zara, you need to breathe" He said, looking into her eyes still. He was right, she had been holding her breath for god only knows how long.  
"Please don't do this..." She pleaded, her voice small and shaky at best. She knew it wouldn't work, but it was worth a shot. He raised a brow, not quite sure what she was getting at.  
"Do what?" He asked.  
"You don't have to hurt me, I'm no threat to you..."  
"What?" He asked as he sat himself up.  
She felt the relief hit her the second he backed off. She propped herself up, if she couldn't fight him off, maybe she could talk him down.  
"I know who you are" She said, her voice raspy. "I know what you're about."  
He sucked in a breath, not sure where she was going with this. If she knew him, why was she acting like this? Unless he was right all along and she really did hate him...  
"You do?" He asked, encouraging her as he pushed his long hair back from his face. "And what might that be?"  
"Don't play games with me... I know you're the Winter Soldier." She said, keeping both eyes on him, not daring to look away for even a second. Bucky didn't know whether to laugh out loud or to smash a hole in the wall.  
"Winter Soldier, eh? Been a while since I heard that name" He chuckled bitterly.  
  
He looked over at her and couldn't believe she had the guts to challenge him in the state she was in. Part of him felt sorry for her, and part of him was fighting back the anger at the nerve she'd hit by bringing his past up. How the hell did she know any of that? That information was not something that people were permitted to discuss, and it certainly wasn't plastered around the place as public knowledge.  
  
"What are you doing on this floor?" She persisted, trying her best to not look frightened, the tone in her voice betraying her. "You know you shouldn't be up here"  
"Zara, what the HELL are you talking about?" he demanded right back at her, unintentional anger creeping into his tone, making her tremble all over again, which he instantly hated himself for.  
"As I said before, you don't have to play games with me. I know you got cut a bit of slack for being a friend of Steve's, but if you hurt or kill me, they'll lock you up for good... Just think about that"  
Bucky shook his head, he had just about heard enough.  
"And where, pray tell, did you get all this information?" He asked, clenching his jaw, controlling himself the best he could.  
  
He was pretty sure he already knew the answer. Zara shook her head defiantly. Bucky got up, standing beside the bed and reached down to her good leg. He gripped it and pulled her over to him, and leaned over her, looking into her eyes. He knew how to be intimidating when the occasion called for it. He'd already frightened her, so he didn't have much more to loose. At least he'd have a name, and that person was going to pay dearly for planting seeds like that in Zara's head.  
  
"Tell me." He growled, leaning closer to her again.  
"I can't..." she stammered, heart racing.  
"Well, you're still stubborn" He said, rolling his eyes and backing off. "Never mind, I have a pretty good idea who it was. I'll be having a chat to her later..." He said, keeping his voice low, changing his mind about the whole 'intimidating' thing. It was time for a new approach. He sat down beside her, leaning back on his elbows and looked over at her.  
"Zara, I'm not going to hurt you" He said finally, letting out a long, exasperated breath.  
"How do I know that?" She asked, raising a brow.  
"Well, I just picked your clumsy ass up off the floor this morning, carried you back here and you're safe, aren't you?" He almost laughed.  
"I don't know, am I?"  
"Are you alive?"  
"I think so..."  
"Zara, if I wanted you dead, you'd be dead. I'm very, very efficient" He said, one side of his lips curling into a smile. The look on her face told him that she definitely didn't trust him, but he did make a good point. That and she'd stopped screaming and trying to run away, which was a small victory in itself.  
  
"So, do you go by James Barnes, or do we call you 'Winter Soldier'?" She asked after a few moments of silence.  
"I'm not the Winter Soldier. If I ever hear someone call me that, I'll make them regret it" He said, cocking his head.  
"My name is James Buchanan Barnes, but my friends call me Bucky" He said, giving a small smile. She nodded, still trying to work him out.  
"So what's your story, James 'Bucky' Barnes?" She asked, still watching him carefully, arching a brow. He chuckled and let out a sigh. Zara sat up slowly, rubbing her head as she did.  
"Here, I thought you might need these when you came to" He said, sitting up and handing her the aspirin he'd left on her bedside table and a cold glass of water.  
"Not poison?" She joked, earning another laugh from him.  
"I guess there's only one way to find out" He said. "Sounds like you've still got your sense of humor" He smiled at her. She popped two pills from the blister pack and took them together with a mouthful of water, before handing the glass back to him.  
"Thanks"  
"Don't mention it"  
"So you didn't answer my question" She said, looking up at him again. He bit his lip, looking down. It wasn't easy for him to talk about his time at Hydra, but he knew he'd have to re-hash it sooner or later...  
"Well, the long version we'll save for another time, but the short version is that I was taken by Hydra, back in the 40's."  
"The 40's, how old are you!?" She said, somewhat shocked.  
"I was born in 1917, so technically... Pretty old" He laughed. "I spent a whole lot of time frozen in cryo for the best part of 70 years though, only coming out for a few weeks at a time. So we think I'm somewhere around the late 20's, early 30's mark. There's no way to know for sure"  
"... So do you age like normal?" She said after a few moments of silence, contemplating what he was saying.  
"Yeah, I think so. The cryo kept me young, but I think now that I'm out of it, I'll just age like anyone else - minus the getting sick part" He explained, Zara nodding periodically.  
"So is the assassin thing true?" She asked, testing the waters.  
"Yeah. Yeah it's true" He said, looking down, rubbing the back of his neck. He glanced over at her, reading her guarded expression.  
"Not voluntarily though. I was taken by Hydra and brainwashed. They wiped my memories, and I was forced to kill. Over and over." He said, painful memories coming back to him. He clenched his jaw and shut his eyes, letting out a sigh.  
"That must have been awful" She said, suddenly feeling a pang of sympathy. Bucky nodded and his expression softened a little.  
"I'll tell you more about it another time, but long story short after the fall of Shield and Hydra, I started to remember things again, and Steve and I found each other. Shield started back up again, and I joined his team... It was hard, but then a few months later you came into the picture." He said, looking over at her thoughtfully. Zara looked down, playing with her fingernails. She bit her lip like she always did when she was worried or nervous.  
"Did you try to kill me?" She asked, gathering the courage to look him in the eye. She braced herself for his answer, not really sure what to expect. Bucky's expression softened again making her relax a little before he spoke up.  
  
"No. It was exactly the opposite. Steve and I were on our way out on a mission. It would have been one of my first ones with Shield. We flew over this Hydra base that we never knew was there, It had been blown to pieces. There was all this thick smoke everywhere, half the place was nothing but rubble, and it was burning like crazy... So we landed to secure it, and everyone we found was dead. Except for you, and one other girl. I pulled you out, Steve got to the other girl and we brought you back with us." He said, a smile creeping across his face as he remembered.  
"You saved my life?" She asked, earning a humbled nod from him.  
"And you saved mine, without even realizing it" He smiled at her.  
  
Zara nodded, smiling back, acknowledging him. For the first time that morning things started making sense, and she wasn't feeling so stressed out about being in the same room as him. A few moments passed as they sat, looking at one and other, almost assessing each other. Zara looked down and took a deep breath, building the courage to ask another question.  
  
"So... James-" She started, before getting cut off.  
"Bucky."  
"I thought only your friends called you Bucky"  
"Yes, well I guess you fall into that category" He said, giving her a knowing look.  
"We were friends?" Zara asked, sidetracked now.  
"We were a bit more than just friends, Zara" He said, suddenly looking a bit hurt. Zara's brows pinched together, trying to work it out. Bucky's hand went to his back pocket, pulling a black leather wallet out. He flipped it open and handed it to her. Zara looked at the photo under the plastic insert. Sure enough it was him and her. They looked to be at a party, she was in a red mini dress and he was hugging her from behind. Her hair was long back then, they were both smiling into the camera. Zara gazed into it, not able to tear her eyes away, they looked so happy together...  
"You were my girlfriend" He said, his voice low and barely above a whisper. There was a sadness in his voice that effected her deep down. The same feeling of grief or dread you get deep down in the pit of your stomach. It was true. It had to be true. Why couldn't she remember this?  
  
Guilt wracked her like she'd never felt before. Her breathing suddenly quickened and her heart started racing. The picture in her hand blurred before her eyes and her hand trembled.  
Zara stood up, hand on her chest to calm her breathing. Her ears rang and her vision blurred as all her senses went out the window. She needed air, needed space. She backed up until her shoulders touched the wall, and she was vaguely aware of him in front of her, he was saying something, but she couldn't understand what.  
He grabbed her upper arms to steady her, calling her name over and over again, his face full of worry.  
her body trembled and she struggled to breathe as she was overwhelmed with panic.  
  
"Zara!!" Came his voice again, aggressive and demanding her attention as she snapped back into reality.  
Zara gasped, finally feeling like she'd gotten a breath of air into her lungs. Her eyes flicked up to meet his and she just stood bewildered for a few moments before bursting into tears.  
She didn't know what had come over her, but she instinctively stepped towards him, and put her arms around him, burying her face in his chest.  
  
Relief washed over Bucky as he put his arms around her and held her tight, soothing her. He bit his lip, he didn't know how she might react to any of this, but he was certainly not expecting her to give into herself and come to him.  
They had been told not to show her photos, but he doubted she'd believe him without it. Fuck them, nobody knew her better than he did, whether she was her old self or not. She was still essentially the same girl she always had been. She was a bit raw around the edges, but it was Zara nonetheless.  
He rubbed her back slowly as she sobbed, and his heart broke for her. He knew what it was like finding out about his life after being wiped. It was something he wouldn't wish upon his worst enemy.  
  
_Poor kid..._  
  
"I'm here for you Zara, no matter what" He whispered into her ear, leaving a feather-light kiss on her temple.  
She cried herself out, and when she stopped they just stood for a while, holding each other, neither of the wanting to let go.  
When Zara relaxed and looked up at him, eyes puffy, wet and red. He slowly moved his hands to her face and wiped her cheeks with his thumbs, her lip trembling again.  
"Come on, I'll make you a hot drink" He offered, putting his hand out to her which she took. She was too exhausted and emotionally drained to argue with him. He helped her over to the couch below the window, and joined her a few minutes later with a coffee each.  
Zara shivered down at the warm cup between her hands. She shook her head, still numb with shock and guilt.  
"Bucky..." She said, her voice almost a whisper.  
"Yeah?" He looked over at her.  
"I'm so, so sorry" She said, looking into his eyes. "This is so unfair..."  
"It's not your fault, Zara. I'm here to help you"  
"You shouldn't have to"  
"I know, it sucks, but that's the card we've been dealt and we'll just have to roll with it. Like we always do. Things were never easy for us" He said, giving her a sideways smile.  
Zara's expression softened a little and she let out a breath, staying quiet for a few minutes, letting the mug in her hands warm her.  
  
"Can I ask you another question?" She asked thoughtfully.  
"You can ask me as many questions as you like" He smiled back at her, taking a sip from his mug.  
"Does Rachael know that we were dating?"  
"Yeah, she knows. She knows damn well" He said, feeling angry again.  
"Okay... You don't have to answer this if it's too personal... Are you and her seeing each other?"  
Bucky almost choked on his coffee, looking at her wide eyed with a mixture of shock and disgust on his face.  
"HELL no!" He said, offended.  
"Sorry, I'm just trying to get my head around all this..."  
"Zara lets just get this straight, I'm not seeing anybody. I haven't even LOOKED at another girl since you, and I don't plan on, either." He said firmly, making her feel a little awkward.  
"Why would she try and scare me away from you then? I'm pretty sure you're not going to try to cut my throat or break my neck, and you don't strike me as a dishonest person so far... The only thing that that leaves is maybe she was jealous, but that makes no sense if she's not your girlfriend, unless she's interested in you?" Zara pondered, brows knitting together in confusion.  
"No, you're definitely safe while I'm around. You're right though she is jealous of you. Don't you worry about that though, I'll deal with her." He said, frustrated.  
"Deal with her?" Zara winced as she spoke.  
"I'll TALK to her." He clarified, rolling his eyes.  
"You know she told me that you attacked her, and she was lucky to be alive?"  
Bucky lowered his head and let out a low laugh.  
"That's only half true" He said.  
"Which half?"  
"I didn't lay a hand on that girl. She made a pass at me in the gym one morning. I let her know I wasn't interested, and she kept pushing. She made a comment that hit a nerve so I threw a loaded weight bar across the room... And an elliptical machine... And put a hole in the wall... It kinda sounds bad put into words" He chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. Zara smirked at him, getting a mental image of Bucky loosing his shit in the gym.  
"She did say you had a temper" She said, not looking up from her drink.  
"Well, that part I can't really deny, but only about things that hit a nerve, to be fair. Otherwise I'm pretty laid back." He said with a smile.  
  
They both sat and finished their drinks, just enjoying the presence of one and other. Zara was actually surprised how relaxed she was around him, considering the fright she'd gotten earlier in the morning. In less than an hour he'd gone from death incarnate, to a creep, to someone who was fairly easy to get along with. She didn't know about the 'friends' thing - or anything beyond that, but it was a good start. He had been open and honest with her, and that's all that mattered to her at that stage.  
  
"Thanks for talking to me, Bucky. Thanks for being honest" She said after taking the last sip of her coffee, looking over at him.  
"Any time. Sorry you had to get knocked out for it to happen" He laughed, the ice in his chest melting a little when he saw her flash a smile.  
"Is there anything else you'd like to ask? I know I had a million questions when I was in your shoes..." He offered, kindness in his tone.  
"You know what? I think that's enough for one day" She answered, looking back down at her cup, swirling the last few drops of coffee in her mug.  
"Good thinking, don't want to overload yourself" He agreed, finishing his cup and standing to take it over to the kitchen. He wordlessly offered to take hers, and rinsed them both, putting them upside down on the dish drainer before leaning on the bench, facing her.  
"I have an idea" He said, a hint of excitement in his voice as he caught her attention. She looked up into his eyes, he interest piqued.  
"How about I come back tomorrow morning after breakfast and we have another talk then. You can have the rest of today to soak in all your new info, and you can think of anything else you'd like to ask. See if we can fill in the gaps, huh?" He suggested.  
Zara nodded, thinking about his offer and she gave him a smile. It was a good idea.  
"Well I do have a lot of questions to ask..." She said.  
"So how does 9am sound?" He asked.  
"I'm pretty sure I'm free" She chuckled, her laugh was music to his ears. He flashed her a teethy grin.  
"Good" He laughed. "It's a date."


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one was lots of fun to write. Enjoy! :)  
> -Kaytee xx

  
  
Her feet crunched in the snow as she ran like hell down the dark alleyway. She'd hoped to slip away from him after shooting the light out, but his senses were too sharp for that. Her lungs burned like crazy but there was no out running this guy, he was powering along like a freight train.  
He tackled her and they both came down face first in the snow, before he pulled her aggressively to her feet, dragging her back over to the wall by the back of her coat... She was winded and  knew she was in deep trouble.  
She tried to fight him off but he was too fast and too strong, overpowering her easily. He threw her hard against the side of the alley, pinning her hands as her head hit the bricks. She struggled and he gave her another good, hard shove to quiet her as his metal arm found her throat. His piercing blue eyes narrowed dangerously as they glared into hers. She couldn't breathe...  
  
_I can't breathe... I can't BREATHE!_  
  
Zara gasped as she sat up, clawing the tightly tangled blanket away from her neck. Panicked, she fought with it erratically, gasping as she rolled and fell from the bed, landing on the hard floor on her back. She pulled against it, bashing her elbow against the bedside table, knocking a digital clock to the ground with a loud clunk. The blanket finally came loose and she managed to sit herself up, still heaving, leaning her head on the side of the bed.  
  
"Zara!?" Came a worried voice from the other side of the door, making her jump with fright.  
"I'm fine" She croaked between coughs, surprised by how hoarse her voice was.  
"Zara I'm coming in" Came the voice again as she heard a beep and the click of the lock. She quickly wiped the tears off her face with the back of her hand and looked up to see Bucky come through the door.  
  
_Great. Just great._  
  
He was the last person she wanted to see right now. She turned her head, hiding her face from him as she pulled the blanket up to her chin, covering herself up. He crouched down next to her, eyes full of concern.  
"Zara, talk to me..." He said softly, placing a hand on her shoulder which she flinched away from. He ignored her jumpiness, placing a finger under her chin and lifting her face to look into her eyes. He could tell she'd been crying, and she was trembling all over. Her breathing was labored and she was an absolute mess.  
"What happened?" He said, a bit more authority in his voice now. Her lip faltered when she went to speak, and she took a moment to compose herself, which he granted her wordlessly.  
"I had a nightmare" She croaked out, her voice raspy and hoarse. Bucky pursed his lips, he wanted to take her in his arms, rock her to sleep, kiss the fear away but he knew he couldn't. Instead, he stood up, taking her hands in his and helping her to her feet.  
She picked the blanket up off the floor, not wanting him to see her in a short tank top and little cotton PJ shorts.  
  
She wrapped it around herself as he helped her to the kitchenette where he lifted her onto the island counter as he filled the kettle and turned it on. He walked over to where she was sitting and leaned on the counter, towards her with a hand either side of her knees.  
That nervous, uncertain look flashed over her eyes again, the look he didn't like seeing on her.  
"Are you cold?" He asked breaking the silence. She shook her head in response, looking down at the floor as she gathered her thoughts.  
"You're trembling" He said. Zara looked up at him, not sure weather to be amazed or intimidated that he could read her so well without making any physical contact. She guessed it was all those years of training and assassinations. Her breathing quickened as the last images of the dream came to her again, making her jam her eyes shut.  
The 'ding' of the kettle reaching temperature jolted her back into reality with a jump. She looked back up at him, those piercing blue eyes went straight through her soul. She wondered how many people had died looking into those eyes-  
  
"Zara," He said, getting her attention again. "I'm not moving till you talk"  
 She bit her lip, ashamed of what she'd dreamed. She didn't want to piss him off, she didn't know how stable he may or may not be... She COULD make something up, but surely he'd pick a lie a mile away.  
"You were trying to kill me..." She said, her voice almost a whisper. Bucky looked down, exhaling before looking back up at her.  
"Go on..." He prompted.  
"We were in a dark alleyway, you chased me, and knocked me over. I couldn't fight you off..." She said, looking up at him, checking it was safe to go on.  
"You shoved me against the wall, and my feet were kicking, trying to get away... Then you started to strangle me" She said, stopping when she saw a smile forming on his face.  
  
Here she was talking about him choking the life out of her, and he had a smile on his face as though he'd just won the god-damned lottery. Zara was horrified, this guy was clearly sick and it was a mistake to tell him. She would have jumped from the counter if he wasn't blocking her.  
  
"Zara, that wasn't a dream. That really happened, that was a memory!" He said excitedly, making her shriek and shove him as hard as she could. He was like a rock and much to her dismay he didn't move an inch, still standing there grinning like a Cheshire cat. That sick feeling of dread forming again in the pit of her stomach.  
"No, I wasn't trying to kill you! You almost killed ME that night... But that's besides the point, you remembered something!" He said with the biggest smile ever on his face. He grabbed her arms, giving them a squeeze which she recoiled back from.  
"Zara, this is good news!"  
"You had me up against a brick wall. With your metal hand around my throat... It really happened and this is good news!?" She said, shaking her head, arching a brow.  
"It sounds worse than what it was, besides, you stabbed AND shot me that night. Bet you didn't remember that part" He said, giving a smirk.  
  
Zara pursed her lips, and decided he was telling the truth. He HAD just thrown himself under the bus by admitting that he'd strangled her. Zara shook her head, this was sick, she shouldn't even be talking to this guy, but curiosity got the better of her. That and there was something nagging inside her to give him a chance, to hear him out.  
Besides anything, if she was being honest with herself, his smile was adorable and she found herself completely drawn to it.  
  
"Maybe speaking to you yesterday triggered me?" She said, letting out a breath as she tried to make make sense of it all. Bucky nodded enthusiastically.  
It was hard not to smile when his face was so lit up, she felt the corners of her lips curve up a little. It may not have been a very nice memory, but like he said earlier, it was a memory nonetheless. Good or bad, it was something.  
"Do you know what this means!? This is good" he grinned, "Very good!"  
  
Zara giggled a little, he was so excited she thought he might do a back-flip at any moment. In the excitement he had leaned in close to her, and triggered another feeling deep within her, one that she wasn't ready to explore yet. She pulled away from him, sucked in a breath and nodded toward the kettle, distracting him.  
He brazenly bit his lip and let himself linger close to her face for a couple of moments longer than he knew she appreciated. He didn't care, this was no time to stay stuck in comfort zones, not when they were making breakthrough's like these.  
He pulled back from her, a lazy smile crossing his lips. He took 2 mugs from the cupboard and dropped a teabag into each, and filling the cups from the kettle.  
  
"What happened that night?" She mustered the courage to ask, while he was in a good mood. Bucky handed her a cup and lifted himself onto the counter to sit beside her.  
"That was the first time I saw you since... Since we thought you'd died." He started, his voice going from loud and excited to low and relaxed.  
"Steve had sent me out on a mission. It was my first one since our last one together" He said, glancing up to make eye contact with her again before continuing.  
"I was after an assassin who had scratched quite a few key players off the grid. I chased this person for a good couple of months before winding up in front of this shitty bar on the outskirts of the city... Another cold lead obviously. I heard a scuffle down the alleyway, saw blood in the snow so went down there to break it up... It was you" He said, remembering the night as if he'd lived it a hundred times in his dreams.  
"You shot the man dead, fired two shots at me, then took the streetlight out and ran. I went after you, and caught you. You fought me, so I pinned you up against the wall. That's when I realized who you were... I felt like I'd been hit by a truck, it was like having the air knocked out of my lungs... I can't even explain it" He said, biting his lip as he paused to take a breath.  
"I didn't know you though?" She asked, her brows knitted together.  
"No, you didn't know me. You stuck a switchblade into my side, and shot me point blank in the stomach" He said, pulling up his shirt, revealing a small scar between his hip bone and belly button.  
She winced upon seeing it and shook her head apologetically.  
"Sorry about that" She said.  
"It's fine, you've done worse." He laughed.  
"Seriously?"  
"Yeah, you threw me off a cliff once" He said, still chuckling, reading her expression. "I'm not joking"  
"So I was a killer..." She said, her expression changing from light hearted to distressed. Bucky softened, placing his hand over hers to comfort her.  
"And here I am feeling sorry for myself. I was a monster. I deserve this..." She said, her voice almost a whisper. Bucky frowned and shook his head.  
"Do you think I'M a monster?" He asked, jolting her back to reality.  
"No, not at all" She said. "I don't know you real well, but you seem like an okay guy"  
"I murdered innocent people in cold blood for 70 years compared to your 3 or 4 months" He said, giving her a knowing look.  
"Oh god, I must sound utterly pathetic to you" She said, feeling even worse.  
"Not at all, I just wanted to give you some perspective." He said, looking into her eyes. "The point I wanna make is that I've been in your shoes. I've been through what you're going through now, and it sucks. I'm here to help, but you have to trust me." He said, relaxing his face, giving her a smile.  
Zara pursed her lips, not sure if the word 'trust' was in her vocabulary. Bucky picked up it straight away, almost as if reading her thoughts.  
"I'll help you work on that" He said, sipping the last mouthful of his tea as he slid himself from the counter to rinse his mug. He glanced at his watch and then back at Zara who was finishing her cup as well.  
"It's after 3 in the morning. You need to get back into bed" he said, taking her mug and rinsing it before placing it upside down on the strainer.  
She slid from the counter, landing on her good leg as she balanced herself against the counter, still holding the quilt up. Bucky bit his lip, trying to stifle a laugh as his hand shot out to steady her.  
"I've got this" She said, stubbornly.  
"Yeah, looks like it" came his sarcastic reply as he cocked his head. "And you can give me all the dirty looks you want. Now lets go" He said, helping her across the room to her bed, reaching to take the quilt from her.  
"No!" She said, grabbing it quickly, stopping him. He let out another chuckle.  
"What, are you scared I'm gonna see you in your PJ's?" He teased.  
"I'm wearing a freaking cropped tank top and mini-shorts, what do you think!?"  
"Zara, I've seen it all before" He chuckled, giving her a wink, making her blush.  
"You have?" She said, blinking like a deer in the headlights.  
"Oh yeah, and a whole lot more"  
"Stop it!" She said, giving him a slap on the arm.  
Bucky laughed and motioned for her to sit as he looked away, which she did, begrudgingly. He spread the quilt over her and gave her a smile as he straightened it on the other side of the bed.  
"Sorry" He said, trying his best to stifle his grin.  
"You're a creep" She said, unable to suppress hers, a giggle escaping from her lips. as she rolled to face him, propping herself up with her elbow.  
He picked up the digital clock from the floor, placing it back on the nightstand, before noticing a phone on the floor which he also picked up.  
"I'm putting my number in here" He said, unlocking it after a few taps on the screen. "If you have a nightmare, or even just want to talk, call me" He said, handing it to her.  
"Thanks..." she said, plugging it in and slipping it under her pillow. He leaned over to kiss her, stopping himself halfway and pulling away awkwardly.  
"Sorry... Old habit" He said, blushing a little. Zara softened, the corner of her mouth curving into a sideways smile.  
"It's fine" she said kindly. "Thanks for coming over... I appreciate it"  
"I'll see you after breakfast" He said, giving her an awkward smile as he turned to leave, hitting the light switch before he pulled the door shut behind him, the lock clicking into place.  
  
Zara lay alone with her thoughts. Once again Bucky Barnes had come running to her rescue. There was no doubt in her mind that they were once special to one and other, but why didn't she remember any of it? That awkward smile he'd given her had broken her heart a little. She hated herself for putting this poor guy through all this, and wasn't sure if he was better off having a dead girlfriend or a snarly, un-trusting one who didn't know him from a bar of soap. She sighed, it really wasn't fair. She made a mental note to go a little easier on the guy - it was obvious he was only trying to help her, he'd never given her a single reason to doubt that. All the bad stuff was in her head, either from being planted there by a certain vindictive, jealous little blonde, or from just raw, ignorant, fear.  
It occurred to her that he was a pretty tolerant guy as well, though - usually when one member of the partnership attacked the other with a deadly weapon, or several deadly weapons, it was all over from there, but for some reason he still cared. No matter how many times she lashed out at him and pushed him away he was still there.  
This was definitely a puzzle that she wanted to solve.  
She had him pegged as pushy and demanding, but surely he was only like that out of love for her. Love, friendship - whatever the hell this was now. The fact of the matter was, most guys would have run for the hills, but he had stuck around despite everything.  
  
She had to admit, those baby blues had made her cheeks flush a little, maybe that's why he'd leaned into her when she was on the bench. Biting that lip of his, gazing into her eyes with THAT look on his face... Then he'd lifted his shirt to flash his abs, taking his time to lower it again.  
The sly bastard had probably been able to read her like a book and thought he'd test her out, and it had worked like a charm. She chuckled to herself, he was pushing the boundaries, trying to get a reaction from her, or trigger something off. He was certainly smarter than she'd given him credit for, and she decided that she'd do well to remember that.  
She sighed to herself as she rolled over.  
  
  
  
She slept through until just after 7.30am which gave her plenty of time to have a long shower and blow try her hair, leaving it out. She pulled on a fresh pair of sweat-pants, picking the low slung ones, and pulled on a tight, long sleeve shirt.  
She found the tweezers in the bathroom and gave her brows a good tidy-up before raiding the small makeup case and applying it carefully. Zara smiled at her reflection, she hadn't lost her touch and was looking more like the Zara in Bucky's wallet photo. Just the thought that he'd kept her picture brought a smile to her lips.  
She used her crutches to make her way over to the kitchenette and boil the kettle, pulling two mugs out, ready to go.  
  
She glanced at her watch, and there was a knock at the door at the same time. He wasn't due for another 15 minutes. Zara made her way over to the door, pulling it open only to gasp in shock when she saw a familiar pretty blonde face.  
"Rachael." She said, anger coming through in her voice.  
"I know, I'm so sorry I didn't stop by yesterday, you poor thing you would have been alone all day" She said, pulling Zara into a tight hug. Zara smiled, Blondie didn't know she'd spoken to Bucky.  
"Come in" She said, stepping aside and pulling her phone from her back pocket. Rachael sat down on the couch under the window and smiled up at Zara who furiously began texting.  
  
_Zara 8:46am_  
_You'll never guess who just walked into my apartment..._  
  
_Bucky 8:46am_  
_Are you okay? Who's there?_  
  
_Zara 8:47am_  
_I'm fine, it's Rachael :)_  
  
_Bucky 8:47am_  
_I'm on my way._  
  
_Zara 8:47am_  
_She doesn't know that we've spoken_  
  
_Bucky 8:48am_  
_Lets have some fun then ;)_  
  
"Who are you texting?" Rachael asked, growing curious.  
"A certain over-protective Super Soldier who shall remain nameless" Zara chuckled as she made her way over to the kitchenette. Rachael gave a knowing laugh, pointing her finger at Zara 'getting' the joke.  
"Oh Steve, nothing changes does it?"  
"Argh, tell me about it!" Zara played along, rolling her eyes for emphasis. She could barely contain her excitement, and hoped that she wouldn't give herself away. Technically she hadn't lied. Technically... Oh this was going to be good...  
  
"Coffee?" Zara offered.  
"Yes please." Rachael smiled. "You seem a bit more relaxed today, seem a bit more like yourself. You even have makeup on! You look so pretty!" She beamed, her southern accent shining through again.  
"I feel more 'me'. I had a great walk the other day, and I've had lots of time to think."  
"Oh you did go? Good for you, sweetie. I was worried I'd given you a fright"  
"Yeah I went. I was really worried about the Winter Soldier..." She said. "But I was lucky not to run into him." Zara smiled at her as she got the coffee canister out. Rachael nodded, her face solemn.  
"You just remember what I told you about him"  
"Yes, to run like hell if I see him, and that he's _dangerous_..." She said, emphasizing 'dangerous' raising her brows as she spoke.  
  
Right on cue there was a knock at the door, startling them both.  
"Zara?" Came a voice from the other side of the door.  
"You expecting company?" Rachael whispered. Zara shook her her head quickly.  
"Zara, baby it's me" Came the voice again. Zara turned to Rachael, watching the color drain from her face as her mouth dropped open.  
"It's HIM!" Rachael gasped.  
"Who!? Any why am I his _BABY!?_ "  
"It's the Winter Soldier... It's a trap" Rachael whispered back over to her. There was a beep at the door as the latch clicked.  
"HIDE!" Rachael whispered again, waving her hand furiously. Zara ducked down behind the island counter and covered her mouth to stifle a laugh that was just begging to come out. She heard his footsteps striding across the room and wished she had of set a camera up. She kept out of Rachael's view, peeking around the corner from her spot on the floor. This was too good to miss, and if that aggressive stomp was anything to go by, Bucky had his A game on.  
  
"Ahh, Rachael, we meet again" He purred dangerously, narrowing his eyes at her. He crossed his arms, making his biceps flex and dropped his face, letting his hair fall forward.  
"What do you want?" She stammered. The girl was terrified.  
"You know what I want. Where is she?"  
"I don't know what you're talking about"  
"Where is ZARA JONES!?" He demanded, dropping his arms to his side, his metal arm emitting a loud, robotic sound as it moved. He clenched his fists making the plates on the arm recalibrate, and Rachael whimpered. Zara actually felt sorry for her for a split second.  
"Behind the counter" She quickly said without missing a beat.  
  
_That bitch!_  
  
"I'm so sorry Zara" She said, her voice trembling as she began to sob. Zara stood up from behind the counter, looking at Bucky with big sad eyes.  
"Here I am. Don't hurt her, It's me you want" She said.  
"Zara, no!" Rachael was hysterical at this point.  
  
Bucky clenched his jaw, giving Rachael a threatening look over his shoulder as he walked over to Zara, shooting her a wink as he grabbed her wrist leading her roughly from the kitchen. He stopped in his tracks, turning himself and pulling Zara in front of him to face Blondie who was still on the couch in tears. He snaked his arms around Zara possessively, kissing her neck behind her ear lobe. She shivered at the touch, feeling his breath hot on her neck as he lingered there, making her breathing quicken. He looked up at Rachael through his eyelashes, giving her a twisted, wicked smile.  
"You tried to scare her away from me..." Bucky purred, "But it won't work"  
Rachael's breath quickened as she shot to her feet, putting her hand out defensively.  
"I only did it to protect her!" She said, butting her brave face on.  
"Protect her from what!?" Bucky demanded, releasing Zara, stepping toward Rachael who was backing away from him as quick as she could.  
"From what!? From THIS!!" She said, gesturing towards him as her back came in contact with a wall. Bucky closed the distance, stopping inches from her face, placing his hands either side of her against the wall.  
"Why did you think Zara needed protecting from me? You said yourself I'm a guy that would look after a girl" He whispered, reaching to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, making her blush.  
Bucky smiled down at her, biting his lip. He studied her as her breath deepened, her cheeks staying a rosy pink.  
"Ohhh... _That's_ why" He said, reading her like a book. She exhaled, flustered and looked away. It was like watching a cat play with a mouse and amused Zara greatly.  
"Well I gotta tell you princess - sly, conniving bitches aren't my type, and I'm a one girl guy" He said loud enough for Zara to hear as he backed away from Rachael.  
Zara made her way over to Bucky, and he put his arm around her, as Rachael looked on, mortified. She shook her head at the pair, furious and embarrassed.  
  
"You don't intimidate me, Barnes" She snapped, composing herself.  
"I wasn't trying... Would you LIKE to see intimidating?" He asked, cocking his head.  
"You're a bully, and a thug. Just wait till Coulson hears about this" She said, her voice trembling. "Zara, don't buy into it, he's no damn good"  
"How about letting me make my own mind up on who's good or bad for me?" Zara said, shrugging Bucky's arm off as she stepped towards Rachael who was still backed into the wall.  
"Honey, you're not thinking straight-" Rachael said before Zara cut her off.  
"Don't HONEY me! You only fed me that bullshit because you wanted to FUCK him!" Zara snapped, raising her voice as she gestured over to Bucky who now stood, mouth open in shock.  
"Lying to get in someone's pants won't get you very far in life, sweetheart, or lying to get into someone's good graces." She added, narrowing her eyes and crossing her arms. Rachael's eyes welled up again. Bucky grinned.  
"You're no friend of mine, Rachael. You never were, and never will be." She said, relaxing her tone. Rachael opened her mouth to speak but Zara cut her off again.  
"Just get out, and don't get any ideas about telling Coulson that Bucky frightened you. You could get locked up for doing what you did to me"  
  
Rachael took then hint and turned to leave. She looked over her shoulder earning a glare from Bucky as she darted out the door, slamming it behind her.  
"Holy shit..." Zara said, letting out a breath she'd been holding without realizing. Bucky laughed, shaking his head giving her shoulder a squeeze before heading over to turn the kettle back on.  
"Think she got the message?" Zara pondered out loud.  
"Loud and clear at a guess" He smiled.  
"That WAS kind of mean" She said, feeling bad for a moment.  
"What I had in mind originally was meaner, trust me" Bucky said. Zara opened her mouth to speak "-Don't ask" Bucky joked, cutting her off, raising his hand and giving her another satisfied grin. Zara smiled and shook her head before speaking up again.  
"You were scary - do the eye thing again!" She giggled. Bucky turned to her and gave her an intense glare that made her shiver, and then laugh.  
"Hey, you fired up too. Looks like feisty Zara is back!"  
"I was feisty?"  
"That would be an understatement" He chuckled, passing her a coffee which she thanked him for.  
"What else was I like?" She asked after a few moments of silence.  
"You were an insane fighter. Knives, guns, bows and arrows, anything. You put me on the ground more than once." He smiled.  
"You probably let me win" She chuckled.  
"Maybe once or twice" He smiled. "There's a video that circulated around of you taking down one of Coulson's best agents, I'll have to show you. The guy is something like 6'4 and a pretty good fighter. Cocky as hell though. You pinned him and put his own gun to his temple, thumb on the safety. You got a warning for it." He chuckled fondly.  
"I wonder if I can still do it?"  
"Oh yeah, that's not something you forget. Muscle memory if different to your upstairs memory" He said, tapping his temple. "I'll give you a few refreshers in the gym and you'll be good as new." He added, earning a smile from her.  
"You had attitude, and you didn't listen to anyone. Even me - _especially_ me. It drove me nuts. You were protective and had no care about self preservation if it meant you could save someone else. That's what cost you in the end" He said, staring down into his steaming mug, sadness in his eyes.  
  
Zara looked up at him, concern in her face. The poor guy was still grieving for the old her, but bravely holding it together. She suddenly felt awful, it was her fault he didn't still have his girl. Her stubbornness and recklessness that had cost them both dearly.  
He had lost his feisty, ass-kicking girlfriend, and gotten a damaged, broken one who didn't know a damn thing to replace her with.  
How could she live up to everything that Zara Jones once was?  
She looked down at her pale, cold hands gripping the mug, and out of the corner of her eye her ankle in plaster. He wouldn't want a helpless 'damsel in distress' after having someone who sounded so fierce and independent.  
Zara bit her lip.  
  
"I'm so, so sorry you lost her, Bucky..."  
"I didn't. She's right here, we just gotta help her find her way again" He smiled, giving her knee a gentle squeeze, leaving his hand there.  
"I'm nothing like how you described. I'm no 'feisty butt-kicker'... What if I don't find my way again?" She asked, frowning as she sucked in a breath as she braced for an answer..  
"Well, I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I didn't love you because you were a feisty little butt-kicker, I loved you because you were... You."  
"But I'm not me anymore..."  
"You're more you than you realize. Don't be in such a rush, you have all the time in the world. The fact that you're even sitting beside me right now means more than you'll ever know."  
"I'm not in a rush, I just don't want to waste your time if you could be out-" She was cut off.  
"No. Don't even say it. You're not wasting my time... See, you're still as impatient as you always were. You've already started getting memory back, and here we are having a conversation without you running for the hills" He smiled.  
"You're the one who should be running for the hills" She joked.  
"I'm not going anywhere" He said, giving her a smile that gave her butterflies in her stomach. He sipped his coffee and turned to her. He knew there was question she was burning to ask.  
  
"Bucky? What happened that day? The day I died"  
"Want the long version or the short?" He asked, letting out a breath as he cocked a sideways smile at her. Zara took a sip from her coffee and thought about it for a second, smiling to herself.  
"Give me the long version. I have all the time in the world, apparently..."


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry it's been a while since my last update. Here's a new chapter up for you, and have already got the next one all dreamed up so it shouldn't be too far off :)  
> Enjoy! -Kaytee xoxo

_Ahhh, Insomnia..._  
  
Dr Reeves said this would most likely happen as Zara adjusted to life here at Shield. It hadn't helped that she'd stayed up late talking with Bucky, but more to the point her brain hadn't shut off when she eventually went to bed. She'd had tossed and turned for hours, decided to give up on sleeping and ended up making a hot drink and sitting on the couch by the window.   
There was nothing much else she could do at this hour. She'd fallen asleep without putting her dinner dishes out and missed the pickup. She'd washed the plates and cutlery and placed them on the side of the sink to dry. A smile spread over her face remembering Bucky suggesting they have dinner together and he'd had the kitchen staff bring up two amazing steaks with all the trimmings. He ended up helping her finish hers, and they'd laughed over the fact that she wasn't as especially big eater, whereas he ate like a horse.  
She made a mental note to drop the dishes down to the kitchen in the morning on the way to Dr Reeves' office, she was sure they'd appreciate the fact that they'd been cleaned and dried.  
  
Zara leaned her head up against the glass of the window, letting out a sigh as she watched the steam rise up from her mug.  
There were plenty of cars out at this hour, their bodies shining in the rain, city lights reflecting off them. Zara wondered where they were going, what they were up to... If she had a car she could probably do with a drive right about now. She played the fantasy out in her mind as she tried to zone out. What kind of car she'd have, where she'd go.  
She saw herself driving a small, high powered sports car on a night much like this. She heard it rev in her head as she slammed it into fourth, and seconds later stomping her left foot down hard on the clutch as she shifted into fifth... She could feel herself getting sucked into the bucket seat, the sweet smell of the leather interior covering up the smell of sweat and blood and-  
Zara found herself panting, her tea had spilled when she realized she was shaking.  
  
_Get a grip..._  
  
She sipped her tea, finally feeling her body relax. On the bright side, at least it wasn't a nightmare.  
  
_No, I'd have to be asleep for that..._  
  
  
  
Her alarm woke her up early and after a few confusing moments she realized she was still on the couch, freezing cold and with a big tea stain and a tear in her favorite pair of PJ pants.  Zara groaned as she wondered how the hell she'd managed to tear them in her sleep, and there was a scratch on her leg under it. She was exhausted and had a thumping headache. Not a good way to start the day.  
She'd gotten up and cleaned the tea stain off the couch, realizing the mug was nowhere to be seen. There was no way she could be bothered looking under furniture for it if it had rolled out of her grip during the night. She let out an aggravated sigh. The only thing keeping her going was the thought of getting her cast off. One less annoyance in her life would be very much welcomed.  
  
  
  
The first thing Zara did when she got back to her room was take a long, hot shower. A proper shower with both feet on the floor, no plastic-wrapped cast. She stayed in longer than she normally would, scrubbing herself from head to toe with coconut and vanilla gel and even got to shave BOTH legs for the first time in... Well , since she could remember.  
  
She dried her hair, and watched as her expression softened in the mirror. Nat had had her hairdresser friend come by the night before and tidy up Zara's 'Hydra hack job' and it looked great. She'd managed to shape the front a little - side swept bangs like how she used to wear her hair, and the rest was a trim without sacrificing any length.  
Zara finally smiled to herself as she pulled her skinny jeans on. After 4 or 5 weeks in plaster she had been stuck in sweatpants, and as amazingly comfortable they were, she was happy to be in real clothes again.  
  
Dr Reeves had set up a meeting for her and Tony Stark after lunch as part of her re-integration back into, well, life. Bucky had agreed to come by and go with her to Stark's lab. A glance at her watch suggested he'd be there soon. Zara bit her lip, she definitely needed coffee. She weighed up in her mind if she'd have the time to make and drink one, and grinned when the obvious answer came to her.  
She walked into the kitchen, stopping dead in her tracks and let out a loud gasp. There was the steak knife stuck in one of the cupboards on the kitchen side of the island bench. The cabinet had a long scratch in it, and the knife had been plunged straight into the wood. Her mug was also in pieces on the floor in a puddle of tea.  
  
Before she could even process what lay in front of her, she heard the door beep and the latch open as Bucky stepped in.  
She decided in that split second not to say anything, he would over-react like he always did.  
  
_Shit._  
  
She whipped around to face him. He had already read her expression, she was rattled, and had done a shitful job at covering it up. Steve stepped through the door behind him, making Zara force a smile as she stepped away from the kitchen, moving their attention away from what was hiding behind the bench.  
"Zara? What's wrong?" He said, looking intensely into her eyes, reading her. She shook her head and forced a laugh.  
"I was in a world of my own and I got the fright of my life when the door opened. I wasn't expecting you for another 5 minutes" She only half-lied. "Hi Steve!" She smiled up at him, making eye contact.  
"I'm not buying it" Bucky murmured only loud enough for her to hear. "We'll talk about this later"  
Zara pretended she hadn't heard as she slid a light jacket on and tucked her phone into her pocket.  
"Nice to see you Zara, you look great" Steve gushed, having not seen her in about a week. Certainly not since she started to regain memories. He had been thrilled upon hearing she had started speaking with Bucky and had begun to find herself. Apparently she was even pleasant to talk to now - or so he'd heard.  
  
"Shall we?" She said, pulling the door open.  
Steve and Bucky followed her, making small talk. Mostly about how she'd gone with getting her cast removed, and asking every few meters if she needed to stop or if she'd like to be carried. She chuckled and politely declined. Walking was what was going to strengthen it up again, even if she was slow now, she assured them she'd be able to run like lightening when she was healed up.  
  
Steve knocked twice on the lab door, before pushing it open and leading them in. Something about all the machinery made Zara tense up. Bucky had made sure the chair was gone for today. Tony had talked him into letting him keep it for the moment, as he still hadn't had a good play with it since one of his suits was having a few 'technical issues' as he called it.  
Bucky placed a hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle, encouraging squeeze. Something about his touch relaxed her. She let out a breath she didn't realize she's been holding, and saw him smile out of the corner of her eye. He knew all too well the effect he had on her, and was way, way too good at reading people. She suppressed the overwhelming urge to elbow him in the ribs to knock that smug grin off his face.  
  
Zara looked up, making eye contact with a bubbly looking guy with impressively groomed facial hair. His face went from what she could only describe as egotistical, to a little broken and sad, and her heart suddenly went out to him.  
She got that sick, dread feeling in the pit of her stomach like something was missing. She knew this guy.  
"Zeejay..." He said, covering up a faltering voice as he strode over to her. She clenched her jaw as she suppressed that urge to run.  
  
_Be brave, nothing bad will happen. Not while these guys are around._  
  
She forced a smile as the man approached her, shooting a look to both Bucky and Steve. He walked right past them and gave Zara a tight hug which took her a few seconds to relax into. Bucky and Steve exchanged confused looks. Obviously this guy wasn't usually affectionate.  
"You probably don't remember me, but I'm Tony. I throw awesome parties" He beamed, making her laugh.  
"It's good to have you back, kiddo" He said, giving her a genuine smile which she returned.  
She followed him to the back of the room where Tony had been working on some sort of a device she didn't recognize. He sat back down at his chair, pulling one up beside him for her, and patting it, gesturing for her to sit, before looking up at the two Super Soldiers, flashing them an almost condescending smile.  
"Do you guys need anything while I speak to Zara?" He asked dismissively, earning a dirty look off them both as they took the hint and turned to leave.  
"Call me when you're ready, Zara" Bucky said, not taking his eyes off Tony.  
"Thanks Buck"  
  
_Ooh, obviously some bad blood..._  
  
  
Zara let out a breath, feeling a little awkward stuck in the middle of that little exchange.  
"Last thing someone needs is to be shadowed by a pair of guard dogs every minute of the day" He muttered. Zara stifled a giggle.  
"Scotch?"  
"No thanks"  
She looked back over at Tony who was now holding up another device. Her hands involuntarily gripped the armrests of her chair as he pointed it at her.  
"It's just a bio-scanner" He said, reading her expression as he pressed a button, making a laser sweep over her body. It beeped a couple of times, and he raised his brows quizzically as he read it.  
"Well there you go. You're alive this time" He mused."Last time I scanned you with this thing... Well, the reading was different" He said quietly after a pause. "I can't work it out..."  
"Sorry, I'm not much help" Zara said with a shrug, looking curiously at the device.  
"You don't remember them injecting you with anything, any machinery that was used? Anything at all?" He prompted.  
"Nope, I got nothing. Sorry Tony" She said, feeling somewhat stupid for not remembering. He pursed his lips, annoyed.  
"Not your fault... It just makes no sense. You were gone, and now you're here." He said.  
  
Tony Stark, the man with all the answers; didn't like being the one who couldn't figure something out. He ran a hand through his hair, placing the device back on his desk with a clunk, his expression changing to a happier one as if flicking a switch.  
"So how's life treating ya?" He asked, turning his attention to her.  
"Fine, I guess. I don't know a damn thing half the time" She said, letting out a single frustrated chuckle.  
"So you and Barnes, are you...?"  
"No. No we're not" She smiled back to him.  
"Right, and how's that situation going for you?" He quipped. Zara rolled her eyes and smiled awkwardly, not entirely sure how to answer that one.  
"Well, I guess there's no 'situation' to speak of. He's a great guy, we've had a few good talks, and he seems to always be there when I need somebody... I guess I can see why we were close" She said, looking down and giving a shrug.  
"You and him obviously don't get along" She pointed out.  
"No, we're fine. There's always tension when you work closely with the same people, we're a tight knit group. Cap likes to think he rules around here which isn't the case, but all in all they're both good guys. Things that happen at home base don't effect how things go on the battlefield so to speak."  
"So you're just a shit stirrer?" She asked, her answer coming in the form of a smile from him that was both smug and cheeky at the same time.  
"So, have a nice walk last night?" He asked changing the subject.  
"What?"  
"Sleepwalking. That's a new trick for you, isn't it?" He smiled. "You'll have to eat dinner with a spoon from now on if you're not careful" he joked.  
  
Zara sat open mouthed, suddenly putting the pieces together. She wasn't sure if she was more shocked at the fact that it was HER who left the knife, or that she was being watched. She was a little relieved if she was honest with herself, it meant nobody was in there with her, and she wasn't in immediate danger. But then again she had cut herself... And they had WATCHED her do it.  
  
She shook her head as she stood from her chair, mortified. Tony grabbed her around the wrist, his face changing when he felt her trembling as she pulled away.  
"Zara, relax!"  
"How can I relax when you're WATCHING me!?" She said.  
"Did you honestly think you'd be given free rein in the state you're in?"  
"I'm going to end up in a cell"  
"No you won't"  
"Fuck, I'm already in a cell..."  
"No you're not, you're free to leave whenever you like." He said.  
"Really, Stark? So I can walk right outta here right now and nobody will try to stop me?" She tested.  
"I'm pretty sure Hydra will stop you" He shrugged nonchalantly. She winced at his words, he may as well have cut her heart out right then and there.  
"What are my options then? What's the point in even trying anymore, I'm right back to where I started" She said, her voice breaking as she held tears back.  
"Look..." He said, placing a hand gently on each of her upper arms. "I know you feel trapped, and hopeless right now, but you've been through this before. It will get easier, you just have to bear with it, okay? Reeves is there to help, Cap and Barnes are there too" He said. "Also, just for kicks, I'm here if you ever need a chat" He said, letting her go.  
  
They both sat down and she reached across the desk and took his untouched glass of straight scotch and drank it in one gulp.  
  
"Another?"  
"Please"  
He poured them each a drink from the crystal decanter, placing the top back on and putting it back on the shelf. He let out a long breath.  
"Did you tell them?" He asked. "About the knife?"  
"Of course not. I guess they'll find out now though" She said, taking a more civilized sip of her drink. Tony let a long breath out before he spoke.  
"I'll keep this quiet, okay?" He said after a pause, watching her face brighten a little "If you promise to come have a drink with me again... And tell me if any memories come back so I can work the scanner problem out" He said, extending his hand.  
"Deal" She said, taking it and shaking with him. "I can't believe they didn't beat my door down for the cutlery..."  
"You were with Barnes, they probably assumed he'd take them. And I bet he made YOU do the dishes. These old fashioned soldiers..." He jested.  
Zara let out a laugh and nodded.  
  
"I can't believe I'm saying this, and I'm not siding with anyone, but it'd be a good idea for you to tell Barnes. In your own time..." He said, looking back over to her as he had a mouthful of his drink.  
"Are you serious?"  
"Yeah. Lemmie lay it out for you. I know the whole protective thing can get old, but I can see where he's coming from, I thought I lost Pepper once. I tried to save her, and watched her fall." He said, bowing his head at the painful memory.  
"She ended up being fine, but I don't know how I would have coped as long as Barnes has. It was a shitty day for everyone, that day. We lost a friend, but he lost the person he loved." He explained. "And then there was the aftermath..."  
  
Zara nodded, his words sinking in. She knew it was hard for Bucky, she'd known that all along, but to have that confirmed by someone who knew him made her feel terrible all over again. She had another mouthful of her drink and Tony topped it up for her  
  
"So cut the guy some slack, yeah?"  
"Yeah, I will"  
"That reminds me, I have something for you" He said, changing the subject with a smile. He pulled a drawer open and started rummaging through it as the lab door opened, Bucky stepping in and approaching them. He stopped behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder.  
"Hey" She smiled up to him, reaching up and giving his hand a rub, making him smile.  
"Ahh here it is, good as new" He said, fishing something out.  
"Tony, no" Bucky warned, catching sight of what is was. Tony ignored him and turned to Zara.  
"Remember this?" He asked, handing her the bracelet, which he'd repaired.  
  
Zara's mouth opened and she gasped, Bucky crouching down in front of her, looking up into her eyes with concern.  
"We used this" She said, her voice a whisper as she held it up in front of her eyes. She examined it curiously, rotating it to get a better look as her brows furrowed. Bucky pursed his lips, shooting Stark an annoyed glare.  
"It was to get your attention" She said, locking eyes with Bucky.  
"It got my attention alright" He said, bitterness and anger in his voice.  
"We drew you in, but you came before we were ready..." She said, her expression clouding over. "I wasn't ready, they needed me to be ready, but I wasn't... I got hurt, and they punished me" She said, placing a hand over her cheek, remembering the sting of a backhand as she blinked back tears.  
  
Bucky sucked in a breath, wincing at her words. He had known exactly what they'd been trying to do. They had had to act quickly to get her out, and through some stroke of luck their timing had been prefect, and they'd gotten her home.  
Bucky took her hand and squeezed it.  
  
"You're safe now" He said reassuringly. Stark had gone quiet which was a rarity in itself. He'd known it was a risk giving her the bracelet, but it had been worth it to trigger another memory. Zara didn't say anything else, even when prompted, and it was decided that that was quite enough for today.  
Bucky stood, helping her to her feet. She managed a to get a 'Thanks and goodbye' out to Tony before she was led out of the room.  
  
Bucky walked down the hall with her, protectively holding her hand, letting his fingers interlock with hers. She stayed close beside him, avoiding the stares from people who had stopped in the hallway upon seeing her.  
She hadn't been out much since she'd been back at Shield and had kept away from the fanfare of admirers she'd had. Things had gotten even worse since she'd been presumed dead, she'd been labeled as a hero and everyone wanted to know her story. It was going to be hard to keep away from while she recovered.  
Bucky had let go of her hand and pulled her in close to him, placing an arm around her wordlessly.  
They got to her door and he swiped his card, letting them both in, before closing the door behind them. He took her jacket and she sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at the bracelet in her hands.  
Bucky looked at her with pained eyes. He knew what it was like to be lost like she was. He could see that she was trying hard, but her own mind was betraying her. She was desperately searching for answers that didn't want to be found.  
  
"Do you remember anything else about the bracelet?" He asked gently, sitting beside her. She shook her head without saying anything, turning it over again as if looking for clues.  
"The star..." She said. "I've seen it before"  
Bucky cocked a sideways smile and unzipped his jacket, slipping it off. She looked quizzically at him as he rolled up the sleeve of his t-shirt up, revealing the shoulder of his metal arm. Her eyes lit up as she realized they were the same.  
"Is this from Hydra?" She asked, holding it up.  
"No, that was a gift from me to you on your birthday" He said, rolling his sleeve back down. Zara's expression softened.  
"So I'd have a little piece of you?"  
"That's it"  
"That's so thoughtful" She said, the corners of her lips curving into a small smile as she turned to face him. She handed it to him, putting out her left wrist.  
"You sure?" He asked. She nodded and he clasped it on for her as she watched.  
"You wore it all the time" He said. "Tony reinforced it, so it's a tough little thing"  
"I'm glad he was able to repair it. Was I wearing it the day I... Got hurt?" She asked, not sure how to word the last bit, since she technically didn't die.  
  
Bucky nodded, and she suddenly understood the significance of the bracelet. She understood why they'd use it as bait to draw him in. They'd killed her parents to draw them to the house, trashed her room to draw them to the bracelet, and left the bracelet to draw them into Hydra.  
  
_Sneaky fuckers..._  
  
It made her mad all over again, they were so manipulative. The bracelet had been an easy way to hurt him, weaken him so they could destroy him all over again. It was once a symbol of love, and they'd gone and used it as a weapon and a trap.  
She gritted her teeth angrily.  
  
"You okay?" He asked, placing a hand on the small of her back. She nodded, wiping the look off her face as best she could. He'd see right through it but she really didn't care at this point. He'd give her credit for trying.  
"I'll be fine." She said, forcing a smile.  
"You know I can tell when you're faking it" He said, her expression changing and her face suddenly reddening. "The smile! I meant faking a smile!!" He said, realizing he'd said something completely sexual without meaning to. He started laughing, not sure if what he'd said, or the fact that she was mortified was funnier.  
"I never had to worry about you faking anything else" He grinned, cocking his head with a cheeky look on his face.  
"Oh my god, Bucky!" She said, covering her face with her hands in embarrassment.  
"Yeah, you said that a LOT" he kept the joke going, her face burning now as she joined in the laughter, giving him a shove.  
  
The laughter died down eventually and Bucky apologized, Zara waving her hand as if to say not to worry.  
"Thanks Buck, I needed a good laugh"  
"My pleasure. Or yours. Either way" He chuckled.  
"Were we good together?" She asked, looking off into the distance.  
"We were amazing..." He said "And can be again whenever you're ready, if that's what you want." He added his voice barely above a whisper. She turned to him, not sure what to say back so she just gave him a smile which ended up being more awkward than she would have liked.  
He smiled and leaned over, giving her a kiss on the forehead as he stood to leave. Zara walked him to the door and let out a breath, frustrated with herself.  
  
"There's no pressure, Zara. I'm happy being your friend if that's all you want. I'll always be here for you, nothing will change that. I just need you to know I never stopped loving you, not for a second." He said, smiling at her. There was pain in his eyes that ripped her heart into pieces, it was so unfair.  
How could someone so kind and so loyal have such bad luck. The poor guy had gone through so much, and still had enough goodness in him to be there for others, enough heart to feel love so strong and never let it go, no matter what. He had always been there for her, and even though she'd been less than friendly most of the time he had never judged her. She had never felt pressured by him, and had always felt safe when he was around.  
  
Without thinking she stepped towards him, took his face in her hands and kissed him. His strong arms snaked around her as he pulled her in, eagerly returning the kiss, making her smile against his lips. She dropped her hand to his firm chest, as she got to know his mouth all over again, his tongue parting her lips as the kiss deepened and she found her body naturally wanting to press into his as he gripped her waist, making her heart race.  
She shivered against his metal touch, but something deep inside her told her that it felt right. She had butterflies in her stomach as they broke away from each other, looking into each others eyes, studying their reactions, both nervous to see if the other was okay with it.  
"You okay?" He asked, tucking a loose hair from her face behind her ear. She nodded, still looking up at him.  
"You're trembling" He noted.  
"I'm nervous" She admitted.  
"I can see that" He said, the corner of his mouth turning up into a smile.  
"I'm nervous for you, not for me"  
"Likewise" He said. "You're still a good kisser" He said, giving her a wink, making her blush and look away.  
  
"Zara?" He asked, concerned suddenly, watching her expression cloud over again as her eyes stared off into space. He grasped her chin, turning her face to look at him. Her forehead glistened with sweat and although her eyes were open, they were blank and unfocused.  
"Zara!?" He tried unsuccessfully to get her attention again. He scooped her up in his arms and laid her down on the bed, giving her cheek a pat to rouse her.  
"Zara, snap out of it!"  
"What?" She asked, as her eyelids fluttered. She sat up and clutched her forehead with both hands, jamming her eyes shut.  
"My head..." She groaned. Bucky pulled out his phone to call Dr Reeves. "No! Don't call her. I just need an aspirin" She said, pulling the bedside table drawer open. "There's a glass on the bathroom sink"  
Bucky went to get her a glass as she popped three tablets out into her hand, taking them with a big drink of water when Bucky got back into the room.  
He walked to the window and closed the blinds as Zara pulled the quilt back and got her spare PJ pants out. She changed without caring he was there. Last time this happened she just had to sleep it off. He tucked her in and sat on the bed beside her.  
"Need anything?" He offered.  
"No, I'm fine. I just need to sleep"  
  
He plugged her phone in and tucked it under her pillow, giving her a smile. She smiled back, looking up at him with tired eyes. Her pupils were blown and she looked out of it.  
He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead, watching as she closed her eyes. Part of him didn't want to leave her. More than anything he wanted to look after her, slip under the quilt with her and sleep the afternoon away, holding her, keeping her safe.  
Dr Reeves had told him to give her as much space as she asked for, and if she said she needed to be left to sleep, that's exactly what he'd do.  
He looked up at the clock. It was barely 3 in the afternoon. He'd come back and check on her before he went to bed, hopefully she'd sleep through till the morning, she obviously needed it.  
He sat on the bed with her till her body relaxed, watching her sleep for a couple of minutes before he found the heart to leave her.  
  
He hated her feeling like this. It was a road he'd been down before, so it was easy to be understanding. The migraines, the insomnia, the confusion... They were all things that she would have to go through, but she was a tough girl and to her credit, she hadn't complained once to anyone.  
He stepped out of the room, pulling the door shut quietly and locking it behind him. He found a grin spreading over his face as he walked back to his room, a spring in his step. Nothing would ruin his day now. Not after a kiss like that...


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New update, lots going on in this one, so I won't spoil :P Enjoy! :)  
> -Kaytee xoxo

  
  
  
Cold. She was so cold. She knew she was hurt before she'd moved a single muscle. The fall had knocked the breath out of her lungs and she'd hit her head in the impact, and maybe it was the dizziness speaking but she really didn't care if she never got up. Gunfire and chaos could be heard in the distance, but it didn't bother her, she was peaceful laying in the snow.  
Zara knew she should probably open her eyes soon. She'd been chased, and she had had to make the decision to jump. Jump or be captured. It had been an easy choice to make.  
Like it or not she was helpless, and he'd be coming for her. She would open her eyes in a minute... Just one more peaceful minute...  
  
  
Bucky strolled up the corridor, casually checking his phone as he went. He shoved it into the pocket of his sweatpants and crossed his arms over his chest for warmth. It was especially cold tonight, it had snowed earlier outside, and there was still ice and sleet coming down. It had taken them by surprise and the building's climate control too, apparently. It wouldn't be a problem for him, he had a warm room to come back to tonight, split system on and electric blanket. The thought made him smile, he had never been especially bothered by the cold, but it sure was nice to be warm.  
He turned the corner and headed towards Zara's door, and his blood ran cold when he realized it was slightly open. He clenched his jaw as he darted into the room to make sure she wasn't in there. Panic set in when he saw the smashed mug on the floor and the steak knife stuck in the door of the island bench cabinet.  
  
"Fuck!"  
  
He cursed under his breath, he knew she was in trouble, but had no idea where the hell she was. He took off running up the corridor at super soldier speed. The quickest way to find her would be to check the surveillance. It would beat the hell out of checking the building room by room, situations like these were usually time sensitive so he knew he had to hustle. He came to one of the offices and forced the door open, logging onto one of the computers and finding the camera feed that showed her apartment door for that day. He hit fast forward, making it go as fast as it could, watching as people came and went, passing her door. Day quickly turned to night and the corridor had gone quiet as work hours came to a close. A few hours ticked by in seconds on the counter, and he was quick to slow the footage to real time when he saw her step out.  
  
She was still dressed in her tank top and PJ pants, feet were bare and she looked like she was in a hurry to get out of there. She stepped into the hallway, pressing her back to the wall, checking over both shoulders in an erratic, motion. Her chest was rising and falling rapidly, he could tell from the footage she was panicked.  
What was she running from? Who had her so clearly rattled?  
She jogged down the hallway, limping on her ankle, but seemingly not caring about the pain, just the urge to get away.  
When she turned the corner out of view he found the next camera and followed her, speeding up the footage as she made her way into the stairwell, coming out on the roof where she stepped out onto the ice, approaching the safety rail, leaning over it, looking down at the ground.  
  
Bucky's stomach knotted as she turned to face the security camera and paused, glaring into it. Her face was a mixture of anger and raw, unwavering fear. She crouched down, cornered herself against the railing, peering through the bars and rested her head there where she stayed as he fast forwarded the footage again till it came to the current time.  
He crossed the footage off the screen and left the office, running down the corridor as fast as he could go. His shoes squealed as he skidded to a stop, throwing the stairwell door open and running up the stairs, taking them several at a time.  
He said a silent prayer in his head as he approached the rooftop door which was half open, swinging lightly with the wind gusts. He worried when he felt the first chill hit his face as he pulled it all the way open.  
She was slumped in the corner, skin pale and lips blue. She had ice in her hair and her eyes were closed.  
  
_This is not good... This is not good..._  
  
"Zara!? Zara, can you hear me?" He said, as he quickly checked her over. She was breathing, but not responsive to him.  
  
_Shit, shit, SHIT!_  
  
He picked her up gently and ran her down the stairs, kicking the door open and continuing up the corridor. This hour of night nobody would be up, and he didn't have the time to wait around for Dr Reeves to get out of bed. He had to get her warm, or she wouldn't stand a chance.  
"Zara, stay with me, okay?" He said to her as he ran. He regretted leaving her that afternoon, he should have known she'd have an episode after having memory triggered. He mentally scolded himself for being so irresponsible, he knew what it was like, why couldn't he have just stayed!? This never would have happened...  
  
They came around a corner and when they got to his door he fished the card out of his pocket with two fingers, scanned it, and shoved the door open, running in and kicking it closed behind him. He dropped his phone on the bedside table and darted into his bathroom with her, turning the shower on, and running the water just barely luke-warm.  
He knew better than anyone not to put a hypothermic person under a hot stream, but anything was better than the minus temperatures she'd been in up until now. If he could warm her enough to get some sort of response, he could do the rest with blankets and body heat.  
  
He tested the water with his flesh arm before stepping into the shower and sitting on the floor with her in front of him, her back to his chest as he leaned against the wall. He reached down and tugged her icy cold, wet PJ pants off, tossing them into the corner as he pulled her head back, resting it against his chest as he brushed the cold hair from her face.  
"Come on, baby" He urged as he pulled her legs in, keeping them there with the pressure from his own legs, trying to get as much of her under the stream as he could. He vigorously rubbed her arms, wrapping himself around her as much as he could.  
  
Relief washed over him when he felt her start to shiver. That was a good sign, her body was fighting back against the cold. He felt her press her face into the crook of his neck and at that point he stopped rubbing and wrapped his arms tight around her.  
He closed his eyes and breathed out a sigh of relief. They weren't out of the woods just yet, but it was a good start.  
He propped her up enough to take his own wet T-shirt and sweat pants off, and pulled her tank top off over her head, tossing them in the corner as he reached up and turned the water off. He stood up, scooping her up and walked into the bedroom, yanking the towels from the rack as he went.  
  
He pulled his drawer open, pulling out a shirt and a pair of cotton drawstring boxers, and dry underwear for himself.  
Zara was still shivering violently in his arms but was awake. Not coherent, but awake. If he could stand her up, it would make things much quicker and easier. He set her feet on the ground, still holding her up.  
"Can you stand for me, Zara?"  
He was relieved when her legs held her weight and she stayed reasonably upright, swaying occasionally as her balance came and went. He got straight to work rubbing her from top to bottom with a towel as she stared off into space as if he wasn't even there, teeth chattering like mad. He looked up at her, thinking it was probably better she wasn't too aware for this as he respectfully turned her back to him and pulled her underwear down and replaced them with his dry boxers, pulling the drawstring tight and tying them up. He unclasped her bra, removing it and pulling a shirt onto her.  
"See, I told you I wouldn't look" He said with a smile as he put her arms through the arm holes. He quickly dried himself, changing into dry underwear and turning to scoop her up again. He pulled the quilt back on his bed, tucking her under the covers and climbed in behind her, pulling her in close.  
  
Body heat and electric blankets were the best things to warm someone up at a safe rate. Something he wasn't granted during his time as the soldier.  
He pulled up the back of her shirt so they had skin to skin contact, her back against his chest would warm her in no time. He wrapped both arms around her, tucking his legs in behind hers, rubbing her arms again.  
  
It was bittersweet having her back in his arms. Holding her again was a wonderful feeling, he didn't want to let her go ever again. She was safe as long as she was in his arms, and part of him felt safer too. He was whole when he had her.  
His only regret was that it was under these circumstances. Her shivering had calmed down a little and her heart rate was already much more consistent.  
He was just glad he got to her when he did.  
He stopped rubbing her and gave her a squeeze, kissing the back of her neck. He reached over her and found the light remote to switch them off, and grabbed his phone.  
  
Bucky 12:16am  
Zara's had an episode. Will call you in the morning when we're up. She's with me for the night and she's safe.  
  
He sent a message to Steve, knowing there would be drama in the morning when they realized she wasn't in her room.  
  
Steve 12:20am  
Thanks Buck, keep me updated.  
  
He set the phone back down and put his arms around her again, gently rubbing her every so often. She shivered quietly for a while, and eventually it stopped and her body relaxed as she fell asleep. Her breaths were even and rhythmic, and her temperature had come up enough that her feet didn't feel like ice blocks in the bed any more. This made Bucky relax a little too, and before long he let himself succumb to sleep as well.  
  
  
  
Bucky's eyes creaked open at first light and he was relieved to see Zara sleeping peacefully, her face pink with color, rather than the blue it had been the night before.  
He slipped his arm out from under the crook of her neck without waking her and got out of bed. She frowned and her body curled up from the sudden lack of heat beside her. It made him smile that she missed him subconsciously. Missed his warmth probably, but, well, that was a part of him too. He chuckled at the thought.  
  
Bucky pulled on a pair of sweatpants, shoving his phone into his pocket. He picked their wet clothes up from the various spots on the floor where they'd left wet patches on the carpet. They would need to be washed. He took them into the bathroom and threw them in the washer/drier that was built into the cabinets, along with the wet clothes from the shower floor.  
He poured the detergent in, closed the door and pressed a couple of buttons, the machine quietly coming to life. With any luck they'd be dry by the time she needed them again.  
  
He brushed his teeth and had a shave before heading over to the kitchen where he turned the coffee machine on and poured milk into the frother. He tied his hair back while he waited for it to warm up as he leaned back on the kitchen cabinet, and it occurred to him he should call Steve. A few swipes on the touch screen and he'd found Steve on his recent calls list, and dialed the number.  
  
"What happened? Is she alright?" Came Steve's worried voice after two rings.  
"She's fine, she's sleeping still" Bucky said, keeping his voice low as to not wake her.  
"I went to check on her before bed last night as she hadn't been well in the afternoon, and her door was open, room empty. I found her on the rooftop, passed out in the ice."  
"Oh shit..."  
Bucky stifled a laugh at Steve's response - he never swore.  
"Sleepwalking, I take it?"  
"Yeah, it's not the first time she's freaked out in her sleep either. The first night she started getting memories back, she was a mess, and now this. There's a steak knife stuck in her kitchen cabinet too, and a broken mug. I have a feeling that could have been from the night before, she looked rattled yesterday morning and wouldn't tell me why..." He explained, gritting his teeth at the thought. He would have to talk to her about that.  
"I'll have Stark check the tapes. Does Sal know?"  
"Sal? Twenty bucks says Stark already knows" He said, anger creeping into his voice.  
"Sorry, Dr Reeves. Has she been told? I'll speak to Stark this morning."  
"No, I didn't have time to wake her up. Zara wasn't conscious and I had to get her warm fast, she wasn't in a good way..."  
"That's fair enough, you should probably have her come check her over."  
"Yeah I will when she wakes up... I just don't want them to lock her up because of this. She's safer here with me. She can do what she likes during the day, but I think she should stay here at night where I can help her if something happens." Bucky said.  
"Buck... I don't know how the higher ups are going to be about you moving your old girlfriend back into your room" Steve said, sympathy in his voice.  
"I don't see any other way. They can't lock her in at night, it's not safe. Not after what happened at the last building."  
"We'll talk to Zara when she's up, and go from there. If she's cool with it, we'll have a better chance with the bosses"  
"Sounds good"  
"Call me when she wakes up"  
"Will do, Steve"  
  
Bucky pushed a couple of loose strands of hair back from his face and exhaled. He turned back around the face the bed and noticed she'd rolled over and her eyes were open.  
"Hey sleepy head" he said gently as he put a mug under the coffee machine, turning it on along with the frother.  
"Where the hell am I!?" She croaked out, suddenly realizing she wasn't in her own bed. Her breathing quickened and the shakes settled in as her eyes darted around the room.  
Bucky jogged over to her, crawling over the bed.  
"You're in my room, you're safe, okay." He soothed, sitting up next to her as he reached for her hand.  
"Where are... Oh my god, I'm wearing your clothes, you've got no shirt on... Did we have se-" She stammered, stopping herself. "Oh my god..."  
"No, we didn't have sex" He chuckled. "You'd be wearing a little less if we did, don't you think?" He was teasing her again, but this time she wasn't laughing.  
"Why am I in your bed, in your clothes without underwear on!?" She snapped. Bucky bit the inside of his cheek, it took everything in him to not poke fun at her.  
"You don't remember any of last night?" He tested, sympathy reaching his eyes.  
"We didn't... DO anything?" She asked, "Be honest, Bucky"  
"Zara, I hope you don't think I'd take advantage of you..." He said, a little hurt. Zara saw the look in his eyes and suddenly felt incredibly guilty for even suggesting it.  
"You have nothing to worry about, I like my dates awake and coherent... I can't imagine sex would be much fun if your partner wasn't an... Active participant." He assured her.  
"I'm sorry Bucky... I trust you... I just can't explai-" She stopped herself mid sentence again, her mouth open in shock as her mind raced again, picking up lost pieces of the puzzle. She paused for a few moments as fragments of memory snuck back into her head.  
"We were in the shower... I was so cold..." She said, suddenly feeling a little sick.  
"I found you on the rooftop in the ice. Just in time as it were." He said, his voice solemn.  
  
She pushed the hair back from her face and shook her head in stunned silence.  
"You saved my life... Again" She said, her eyes meeting his finally. She reached over and gave his hand a squeeze.  
"I'm so sorry Bucky, I keep doing this to you. You don't need this shit in your life" She apologized, regret in her eyes.  
"Don't say sorry, I've been through it too, Zee. I would do anything for you, you know that" He said, squeezing her hand back.  
"You shouldn't have to. There are hundreds of other girls that wouldn't be half as-"  
"FUCK, Zara!! Get it through your head! I don't WANT hundreds of other girls, I don't give a fuck about hundreds of other girls. I give a fuck about YOU, okay??" He said, more aggressively than he meant as he dropped her hand.  
Zara nodded her head, suddenly feeling like an idiot. She'd pissed him off. She hated pissing him off.  
"You know how I feel about you. I what I shouldn't have to do is keep reminding you of that. If I didn't care about you, or want you around, you wouldn't be around. Simple as that. I don't do things out of obligation, If I don't want to be there for someone, I won't. I'm not that kind of person - Steve is. If I didn't care you'd probably be frozen to death on the rooftop by now" he said, watching tears prick her eyes.  
"You're confused about how you feel, and that's fine, I'm not going to put pressure on you. I've been in your shoes, believe me I know what it's like. Fact of the matter is, you can like or dislike whoever you want, but don't dismiss my feelings or make assumptions about me. I'm a pretty easy guy to get to know if you give me half a chance." He said.  
  
Zara wiped her eyes and let out a breath, looking back up at him. She'd never been so consumed with guilt in her whole life. Pushing people away was not doing anyone any favors, especially not Bucky, the one person who had been there for her, no questions asked from the second she came through those doors. Since he dragged her limp, battered body through those doors as she was told.  
He had been the one to breathe the very life back into her on more than one occasion, if that wasn't someone who cared, she didn't know what was. The only reason she'd pushed him away was the guilt of her own neediness. She didn't want to put her problems on anyone else, she didn't want a knight in shining armor to come running every time she scraped a knee or had a scary dream. She figured if he could find happiness with someone else who WASN'T messed up, then he deserved it. She couldn't figure out why in the world he was so infatuated with her. She had literally nothing to offer him, and what's worse she had more problems than she knew what to do with. This wasn't fair on him... But apparently he didn't care. This was a rare quality, most men would have run for the hills at this point, but not James Buchanan Barnes...  
  
"I'm sorry Bucky. To be honest, I really, really like you... Like, REALLY. I know that things are hard at the moment, and lord knows I have just a 'few' problems... I know this isn't what you signed up for. It's not fair on you, and every time you do something nice for me, every time you come running when I need help, I feel so incredibly guilty. I hate it. I'm just... Scared. Absolutely scared to death. For both of us." She said with complete sincerity.  
Bucky let a breath out and smiled, looking down, relieved that some honesty was finally coming out.  
"Don't be scared. I'm here for the long haul... If that's what you want" he said, looking into her eyes again.  
"How do I know you won't get sick of all this? What if one day you're just... Done with it all? Not that I'd blame you, you're a better person than I am for sticking around this long." She said, letting out a nervous chuckle.  
"Zara, what did I just say to you? Nobody makes up my mind for me but me. If I say I want to stick around, If I say I want to be there for you, or be with you, then that's all there is to it. I wouldn't say that just to make you feel better, unless I meant it. I really care about you, and we've been through a lot together. You saved me, now I want to save you. I NEED to save you" He said, looking into her eyes, making her heart break just a little for him.

Zara crawled across the bed to him and leaned over, pausing nervously for a second before she landed a tender kiss on his lips, letting it linger for a few moments before pulling back.  
"I don't need saving, but I'm glad you're here. I always feel better when you're around, even though I'm a pain in the ass like this" She said, cocking her head.  
"You were always a pain in the ass" He said, letting out a chuckle.  
"One more thing... Can we take it slow? It's just that this whole thing is kind of... Overwhelming, I guess is the right word!" She asked shyly.  
"Of course, I wouldn't have it any other way" he said genuinely. Zara smiled and let out a sigh of relief.  
"I know things are going to be hard for a while, but I'm glad I have you to work through it with. Thank you, Bucky. For everything."  
"I've been through harder things than this, Zara. If it means I get my girl back, then I don't care what it takes." He said, giving her a warm smile. "I never stopped loving you. Just so you know that" he said, leaning in to kiss her again before she could answer him.

"I'll make you a coffee" He said when he pulled away. "Bathroom is just through that door" He said, pointing as he spoke.  
  
"I never emptied your drawer"


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I probably could have split this into two chapters but I was on a roll so it stayed as one. Enjoy, this one is rather long. lots of stuff happens :)  
> -Kaytee xoxo

 

  
Zara rested throughout the morning, still feeling drowsy and a bit flat. Bucky ordered breakfast for them and they sat up in bed eating with a movie on. Something light hearted which had given them both a few good laughs.  
She had gone to have a hot shower after that, washing her hair with the shampoo and conditioner she found in his shower, and using some of his shower gel which she thought smelled incredible. She changed back into her own clothes which Bucky had kindly washed and dried for her, smiling as she pulled her tank top on and gave her hair a dry with one of the fresh towels he'd left out.  
For some reason she felt like she could just cry at how sweet and thoughtful he'd been. No way were guys like this. No way were there gorgeous, muscular guys with killer smiles that were this fucking thoughtful. She smiled, feeling grateful as she hung the towels up, and put the old clothes in the hamper.  
  
"Feel better?" He said with a smile as she stepped from the steamy bathroom. She made her way over to the kitchen where he was wiping the counter top and sat at one of the bar stools opposite him.  
"Much better" She said, smiling up at him. "I seriously can't thank you enough for all this"  
"You don't have to thank me. Knowing you're okay is thanks enough" He said, leaning on the counter so he was eye level with her.  
"I called Dr Reeves up, she'll be up in half an hour or so to give you a checkup. I'm tipping you'll need to keep warm and get some more rest" he said.  
"Oh, you didn't have to do that, I feel okay just a bit tired" She said.  
"Zara, you're seeing a doctor." He said authoritatively. She let out a sigh, too tired to bother arguing with him.  
"Is she meeting me here or at my place? I should probably go back and get some rest soon. Get out of your hair for a while..."  
"She's meeting you here" He said, "And I've been meaning to talk to you about that..."  
"About Dr Reeves?"  
"No, about you getting out of my hair"  
"I've overstayed my welcome, haven't I? I'm so sorry Bu-"  
"Zara, please!" He said, exasperated. She looked up at him with that confused, guilty, doe-eyed  expression again.  
"I think you should stay with me for a while" He blurted out, after a pause.  
"You're asking me to move in with you? Bucky this isn't really 'taking things slow' is it?" She said, sitting up on her stool, backing away from him.  
"No. Hear me out for a second" He said. "You're having trouble sleeping, and bad things have been happening at night. I'm sure you'd like to talk to me about a certain steak knife?" He asked, raising a brow, making her blush. So busted.  
"I'm not sleeping because I'm up all night worried about you. I can't protect you in my sleep. If I hadn't of checked on you last night... Well you know what might have happened" He said. Zara nodded thoughtfully, but the expression on her face suggested she still wasn't completely on board.  
"I understand all that, and in theory it's a great idea, but moving IN with you? It was only a couple of weeks ago I was convinced you were a scary, killer guy, and now you're not, and now we've kissed, and now we're moving in... It's all happening so fast..." She said, putting a hand to her forehead. "And now the room is spinning"  She said, feeling him at her side before the words had a chance to leave her lips.  
He sat on the bar-stool beside her and steadied her with a hand gripping her shoulder.  
"Zara... Zara look at me" He said gently, catching eye contact from her.  
"I still AM a scary killer guy - only I'm on your side" He said, cocking a sideways smile, which she didn't return. "Jokes aside though, I'm not suggesting a permanant move, it's not like we're playing house. My idea was that you sleep here at night, that's it. you can do whatever the hell you want all day, hang out in your apartment, you can make your own dinner plans if you want your privacy, that's fine. I just want to be there when you're asleep. That's it." He said, "...Without meaning to sound creepy, of course." He added thoughtfully, earning a chuckle from her.  
  
Her expression softened a little as she considered it.  
"Okay that sounds... Feasible... Why don't you just come over to my place at night time then?" She asked.  
"We could do that if that's what you'd prefer" He said. "Only reason I suggested mine is that my bed is bigger, and my couch folds out so there's a couple of options there depending on how you wanna do this."  
"Your apartment is bigger too, I guess" She pondered aloud.  
"Yeah, that's what I was thinking, you'd have more of your own space at night if you wanted it."  
"And how long are we doing this?" She asked, letting out a nervous sigh.  
"Till you're sleeping through the night without incident, and then after that it's up to you what you wanna do" He said. She looked down, letting a breath fill her cheeks before blowing it out.  
"I can't believe we're doing this" She said, shaking her head.  
"So that's a yes, then?" He asked. Zara looked up at him, still unsure.  
"It's either that or they rig your whole room up with cameras, and they have a couple of guys sitting up all night watching you in shifts." He said.  
"My room's already rigged up with cameras"  
"They're not allowed to check the footage unless theres an incident. In your case because there have been multiple incidents, would mean you'd be watched 24/7" He explained.  
Zara's face lost color as she pictured some fat, sweaty, Dorito scoffing, rent-a-cop type watching her as she slept. Someone she didn't know. She looked over at Bucky. At least he was someone she knew, someone she trusted, and someone she liked spending time with.  
"It's totally up to you of course, I just figured I'd offer the option of staying here with me, over being watched by Tony's security staff and being deadlocked in your room like a prisoner. I don't like the idea of you being locked up, and I know I'd rather be looking after you myself then trust one of those idiots" He shrugged.  
"Is your room rigged with cameras?" She asked after a pause.  
"Hell no"  
"Would it be rigged up if I stayed here?"  
"Not a fucking chance" He smiled.  
"Okay" She said with a smile. "I'm in. Lets do this"  
  
  
  
It had been a long day for Bucky, he'd spent much of it on the phone trying to set things up for Zara to stay with him during the nights, and it had proven to be difficult as he'd expected. Coulson had been strongly against it, and suggested deadlocking Zara's apartment door from the outside to be a much better option. Bucky had argued how dangerous that was, considering she'd still be a Hydra target - he only had to look at what happened to the last building to see what could potentially go wrong. Not to mention being locked in a room alone was no good for someone's mental health - especially when that person was having a hard time coping as it was. Coulson thoughtfully agreed as he went through his options, the only other thing being round the clock surveilance, which is what Bucky had expected. It would mean someone had to stay up and watch her on their screens during the night. If something went wrong, their job was to call for help.  
Bucky had pointed out that the person they'd most likely call was the one she had the strongest relationship with - which was him. Once again, he'd be up and running down the corridor to her, which wasn't a problem for him, but much easier if they were in the same room. Also if an incident was a time-sensitive one, it would save precious minutes in the time it took for them to realize there was a problem, call him, and for him to get there.  
Coulson wasn't completely happy, but he eventually relented on the condition that he needed approval from both Zara and Dr Reeves. He would speak to them both in private, and Dr Reeves would do a psychiatric evaluation on her to make sure it's really what she wanted, rather than something she had been talked into.  
Bucky rolled his eyes, his reputation for not being such a nice guy had preceded him, going by the opinions of the staff and bosses higher up the food chain.  
  
Dr Reeves came during the day to check Zara over. Bucky gave them privacy and went to Zara's apartment to grab a few things of hers - fresh clothes and toiletries. He took his time, stopping to say hi to Steve who he ran into in the corridor and filling him in on the latest. Steve had put a good word in for him with Coulson, and encouraged the move. Bucky had smiled warmly and thanked him, giving him a friendly pat on the shoulder before he continued on back to his room.  
When he got back, he was pleased to hear she'd make a full recovery. Dr Reeves had a lot of praise for him, he had acted quickly and saved her life. She would need plenty of rest and to be kept warm for the next few days, but all her vitals looked great. She was one lucky girl to have been found when she was.  
She had had a lengthy talk to Zara about how she'd feel about staying with Bucky for a few nights and was surprised that she was willing to give it a go. The alternative was being locked in her room under surveillance, and even though things were still a bit awkward with her and Bucky, she was willing to give it a shot.  
Dr Reeves was happy with all her responses, and made a call to Coulson giving her seal of approval on the idea. She handed the phone over to Zara who spoke with him for several minutes. He would have preferred to speak to her in person, but a last minute mission had come up which he'd been required to go to. He assured her he'd speak to her in person when he got back, but for now this would have to do. It was decided then and there over the phone that she would have all the freedom of any other Shield agent during the day, but she would have a curfew at night.  
He also said that if there were any problems with Barnes, she was to let Steve know, who would then take her back to his place until they worked other plans out. Zara assured him that wouldn't be necessary, but Coulson being Coulson always had to have a plan B in place.  
  
  
  
Bucky gave a satisfied smile on hearing the news, he knew it would be okay, now they just had to make it work.  
He had set Zara up in bed, where she had been ordered to rest, and she slept through most of the afternoon. To Bucky's relief it was an uneventful sleep, save for a bit of tossing and turning here and there, and a few times she spoke in her sleep much to his amusement. He woke her up when their dinner arrived and they ate together on the couch while watching a movie.  
  
Zara let out a yawn, making Bucky glance at his watch and he realized how late it was.  
"Come on, lets get to sleep" He suggested. Zara nodded in agreeance and stood up, helping him turn the lights off and making sure the front door was locked.  
They both found themselves in the bedroom looking at each other awkwardly.  
"Um... How do you wanna do this?" She asked shyly, not sure what was happening with the sleeping arrangements.  
"I like to do it any way" Bucky quipped, cocking a sideways smile that made her blush and him laugh.  
"Oh my god, Bucky. I'm being serious!" She said in between giggles, hand over her mouth.  
"Me too. ANY way is good for me" He winked, pulling his shirt off over his head.  
"I'll take the couch" She said quickly, blushing again at the sight of his glorious shirtless body as she turned to leave. He grabbed her by the arm, stopping her.  
"Don't be ridiculous, you take the bed, and I'll take the couch." He said, struggling to wipe the cheeky grin off his face.  
"I'm not taking your bed, that's not fair..."  
"So what's the compromise?" He said. "I'm just as stubborn as you are" He reminded her. She blew out a breath and gestured to the bed.  
"Okay, we share then..." She suggested, going back around to the same side she was sleeping in before.  
"No funny business" She mock-scolded him. He grinned and drew in invisible halo over his head with a metal finger.  
  
_Oh god, getting into bed with a big ex-assassin. A big shirtless ex-assassin... Shut up, brain!_  
_... Be brave, be brave..._  
  
They both slipped under the covers at opposite sides of the bed and turned the lights off, laying still for a few moments. Bucky suddenly burst into a fit of laughter at the awkwardness, setting Zara off laughing too. He tapped the touch lamp back on as he rolled onto his side, Zara doing the same so they were face to face, propped up on their elbows.  
"Why is this so weird?" She asked between giggles, quite amused by the whole concept. Bucky wiped his eye as he controlled himself.  
"You tell me" He encouraged. "What's on your mind?"  
"I have no idea, my thoughts escape me" She said.  
"I know the feeling"  
"Yes, you would, wouldn't you..." She mused aloud. "It kind of helps, having someone around that's been there."  
"That's the idea" He smiled, shuffling over to her, closing the gap up a little. He chuckled to himself when he saw her whole body tense at his proximity.  
"Are you laughing at me, Barnes?"  
"Always" He grinned. "You don't need to be tense around me, Zara."  
"I'm not tense"  
"You are, and I can prove it" He said, gazing into her eyes, reading her.  
"How can you possibly-" She started, being cut off by her own gasp as he closed the gap a between them, reaching out and placing his metal hand on her uppper arm.  
"Right there. If you were comfortable around me, you wouldn't have jumped."  
"I'm sorry"  
"Don't be, it takes time" he said, taking his arm away, but staying where he was laying which was quite close to her. It was not quite close enough for anything intimate, but close enough to make her slightly uncomfortable. She watched his metal arm as he drew it away from her with curiosity and caution. Something within her had the urge to reach out and touch it, and he must have read that in her because he slowly extended it to her and gently took her hand with it.  
  
"It's okay" He whispered, looking up at her as she explored it, running her fingertips up its smooth surface, flinching back when it made a low whirring sound as he moved it. He gave her a reassuring smile and she breathed a sigh of relief.  
"I'm sorry" She said again, embarrassed at her jumpiness.  
"You don't have to keep saying sorry" He chuckled. "No judgement from me"  
"I just don't understand why I'm so drawn to you, but at the same time, so..."  
"Afraid of me?" He offered. Zara pursed her lips.  
"I'm not afraid of you" She said defiantly.  
"You look at me like I'm a predator" He said, Zara looking away from him the second the words left his mouth.  
"I can read you like a book" He said, exhaling.  
"I'm s-"  
"Don't say it" He cut her off, a gentle smile still on his face.  
"Afraid is probably the wrong word... I guess I wouldn't be here if I was afraid of you. I know you won't hurt me, I trust you... Maybe I find you a little intimidating?" She suggested. Bucky pondered this and nodded.  
"Intimidation is borne out of fear. I should know, It was my trade for a long time." He said, earning a nod off her as she took his words in.  
"I don't mean to come off that way, it's just a part of me" He shrugged.  
"No, it's not you. Seriously. It's me, my nerves are shot to shit, I can't have always been like this?" She asked.  
"You were always a little anxious by nature, and you had nightmares back then, too. When we started sleeping together you didn't get them as much." He said.  
"We were THAT good, huh?" She chuckled.  
"I didn't mean THAT kind of sleeping together, but yes, we were pretty amazing" He laughed.  
"I wish I could remember it" She said, a small smile crossing her lips. "It's so weird talking to someone who knows me so intimately, whereas I feel like I've just met you, save for a couple of memories"  
"I'm sure we'll be back to our old selves when you're healthy again, and we're used to each other" He said, brushing a loose strand from her face, noticing she didn't flinch this time.  
"See, better already." He smiled, rubbing her cheek with his thumb. She closed her eyes and relaxed into his touch.  
"We should probably get some sleep" He said, earning a nod of agreeance from her. He sat up to turn the light off.  
"Wait" She said, sitting up as well,  
"You okay?" He asked, looking at her, reading her like he always did. He smiled when he saw her bit her lip nervously. He leaned over, cupping her cheek and kissed her slowly. She eagerly kissed him back, obliging him when his tongue parted her lips, deepening the kiss and making her heart race. She didn't back off like she usually did, instead wrapping a hand around the back of his neck, pulling him closer. He laid her down gently, settling over her, running a hand up her body as he got to know her mouth all over again. She arched her back into him and he rewarded her by squeezing her waist and letting his body-weight settle on her a little...  
  
Bucky pulled away reluctantly, although this was going in a favorable direction he knew that it was better they waited. She wasn't herself, nor was her body healthy enough to take much pressure, which their first time back together, if he was honest, probably wasn't going to be gentle going by that little display.  
Zara smiled mischievously up at him and let a giggle out.  
"Nothing changes" He chuckled, settling on his elbows, shaking his head at her.  
"You were right" She said, making him laugh. He rolled away from her and switched the light off, rolling back over, reaching out and finding her with his hands.  
"Get back over here" He growled playfully, turning her over and pulling her over to him, her back to his chest. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, kissing her neck and the spot behind her ear, making a shiver run up her spine.  
"You better stop that" She giggled. He let out a low, throaty chuckle and kissed the back of her neck.  
"Goodnight baby. Sweet dreams"  
  
  
  
Bucky woke up on his back, pleasantly surprised to see Zara tucked under his arm, with a hand on his chest and her leg hooked over one of his. His arm was protectively wrapped around her and she was completely relaxed.  
He smiled to himself, he didn't realize how much he missed waking up like this. He had his girl here, in his bed and she was alive and well. What more could he ask for?  
  
The morning sun was peeking through the blinds, lighting the room up red and orange. Bucky loved early mornings. He hadn't had the urge to get up and punch the shit out of a speed bag, maybe having Zara around had been therapeutic for him too? He hadn't had the urge to strangle anyone either which was a good thing for both him and the general populis.  
He felt her move under his arm, and watched her as she woke. She scrunched her lids as if she was struggling against herself and when they finally opened her whole body tensed as she jumped, not realizing where she was right away.  
Her eyes darted up to his, and she relaxed a little, even giving him a smile.  
"Hi" He smiled at her as she sat herself up slowly.  
"Hi" She said back lazily, stretching her back.  
"Sleep well?" He asked  
"I think so... I didn't try to kill myself again?" She asked with an amused expression on her face.  
"No, not tonight"  
"Progress!" She laughed, Bucky joining in.  
  
They had breakfast, showers and got dressed for the day. Zara had argued with him about resting when he'd told her to get back into bed. She'd spent the last couple of days in bed and needed to stretch her legs, get some blood pumping.  
She could hardly contain her excitement when she was able to get her foot into the purple Doc Marten's.  
"So where exactly are you going?" He asked firmly.  
"I don't know. I thought I'd go exploring" She said, smoothing a wrinkle from her skinny jeans and pushing her hair back off her face. Bucky exhaled, rubbing the back of his neck in frustration.  
"I'm coming with you" He said after a pause.  
"You're really cute, you know that?" She smiled, his expression faltering as she caught him off guard.  
"I'll be back in a couple of hours" She said, leaning to kiss him on the cheek and turning to leave.  
"Not so fast..." He chuckled, catching her around the arm.  
"What?" She asked innocently.  
"Don't act all innocent... You know exactly what you're doing." He said, narrowing his eyes, "You think you can give someone like me the slip? Just like that?"  
Zara grinned, biting her lip and shrugged her shoulders, the aloof expression still in her face. Bucky let her arm go, his hand sliding down to her waist.  
"I don't like this" He said, keeping his expression kind and his voice low.  
"I know, but you said yourself that I could do whatever the hell I wanted during the day... You're not going back on our agreement are you?"  
"No... You're free to do what you want, I just want you to be safe."  
"I need to start being brave, Bucky... Which means you do, too." She smiled up at him. He nodded to her, understanding what she meant.  
"You call me if it gets too much, okay? I'll come get you." He said, looking into her eyes with that 'this is not a request' look on his face.  
"I promise"  
  
  
  
Zara made her way down the hallway finding a spring in her step. It was exciting being out alone, in the middle of the day. There were plenty of people around and it made her happy that she wasn't bothered by the crowds. She smiled politely at passers by, giving a friendly wave to those who acknowledged her.  
Everyone seemed to know who she was, which was strange to her as none of the faces seemed familiar. She found herself at an elevator with her finger automatically hovering over a floor number which meant nothing to her.  
  
_Why not?_  
  
She shrugged, taking a chance on the mystery floor, and stepped into the metal box. Her heart skipped a beat when she realized it wasn't empty, but she grit her teeth and stepped in, despite herself.  
  
_Be brave..._  
  
"Zara? Zara Jones is that you?" A guy her age gasped. Zara wasn't sure how to respond to his excitement so she smiled to him politely and nodded.  
"It's SO great to meet you! I heard you were back and I just... Oh my god" He gushed. "I'm Carl" He said, thrusting his hand at her to shake, making her jump a little.  
"Nice to meet you, Carl" She said a little awkwardly.  
  
The elevator dinged and the doors opened. It wasn't the floor she needed but Zara stepped out, calling out a 'see you later' to her fan in the elevator. She put her head down as she walked, suddenly not feeling so brave. She saw a door with a bathroom sign on it and pushed it open, stepping in to take a moment to herself. Her palms were clammy.  
She took a couple of deep breaths, giving herself a pep talk in her head. She HAD to conquer this. The old Zara Jones would have marched down that corridor, zero fucks given. On a silver horse. Holding an American flag. During a 21 gun salute. A fireball exploding behind her. After saving a busload of orphans...  
Zara laughed at herself, letting out a breath. Nobody in this building was there to hurt her. They probably wouldn't even try, given her reputation as a little butt-kicker. From what she'd been told, the majority of the agents and staff here at Shield weren't aware that she'd had her memories wiped. Most of her information had been withheld and was on a need to know basis. All they needed to know was that she was in fact alive, and that she was recuperating after a bit of an ordeal that left her with a few injuries.  
She realized she could use this to her advantage, she just had to fake a bit of confidence and nobody would bother her. She doubted someone would start anything with the girlfriend of Bucky Barnes either, who's reputation clearly preceded him.  
  
She wandered into a huge room which had the doors open. It was full of couches, had a couple of fireplaces and a bar in the corner. One of the walls was covered in pictures which caught her attention and she found herself looking at them all, smiling. She was in a few of them, one that caught her eye was one where she was in combat gear, smiling into the camera with two other women. She was in the middle of the three and they had their arms around each other. They looked like they'd just come back from a mission, hair messy and soot smudged on their cheeks. They were all super fit, armed with guns, and knives and despite their warm faces they looked like the kind of people you wouldn't want to pick a fight with.  
She got that familiar feeling in the pit of her stomach when she looked at their faces, one of them was an attractive, middle aged woman of Asian decent, and the other was a bubbly looking girl with a bright smile, dusty blonde hair and green eyes. The blonde girl didn't give her a good feeling for a reason unknown to her, but the other woman piqued her curiosity. She made a mental note to meet up with her as soon as she was able.  
There were a few photos of her fighting in what looked like a classroom situation, her face fierce and focused as she took down whoever the guy was in the photo.  
  
Zara noticed there were quite a few pictures of her, some more flattering than others, most of them were photos of her in her combat gear. There were a couple where she was with Bucky on various missions, and a few of her arm in arm with a pretty girl with brown hair. She smiled, reaching out to touch the photo, getting a warm feeling in her heart from them.  
She decided she would come back to this room with Bucky, and have him talk her through them all.  
  
Zara smiled fondly as she left the room, walking slowly down the hallway not paying much attention when she came past another open door. She peeked in on hearing a flirtatious giggle and to her delight the room looked familiar. She smiled as she looked down at the floorboards on the ground, the vertical blinds covering the half windows and the tables pushed up against the front wall.  
"Zara!" Came a voice, distracting her from her thoughts. She realized she had walked straight into the middle of the room. A tall, dark haired guy approached her, one she recognized from the photos on the wall earlier. He must be a friend. She smiled up at him and said hi, her expression dropping when she saw the pretty blonde girl behind him.  
  
Zara crossed her arms and raised a brow, bottling down an unfamiliar feeling of aggression that was brewing inside her as she clenched her jaw.  
The tall dark haired guy looked at her and then back at the blonde, and cocked a smile.  
"I take it you two have met before..." He observed out loud.  
"Yeah, we know each other alright" The blonde girl said, venom in her voice. "She threatened me, her and her Bucky Barnes" She said. The dark haired guy shot Zara a disgusted look.  
"Why would she do that?" He demanded. "Why would you do that?" He turned to Zara stepping toward her.  
"She lied to me about Bucky. All because she wanted to get into his pants" Zara said, covering up the fear that had taken over the aggressive feeling.  
"Why would I want some freak when I have HIM?" Rachael growled, gesturing at Tall-guy. Zara narrowed her eyes at Blondie, she was going to get it, now.  
"Why don't you pick on someone in your own league?" Tall-guy demanded, stopping arms distance to Zara. He was trying to intimidate her, but she was determined not to let it show.  
"I don't know what you're talking about" She said, standing her ground.  
"You know exactly what I'm talking about" He said, taking another step, putting pressure on her.  
"Why would YOU of all people pick a fight with a rookie? You've got nothing to prove, and as for Barnes-"  
"I didn't pick a FIGHT!" Zara suddenly snapped, shoving him in the chest. Tall guy blocked her and pushed her hard, sending her flying across the room, where she landed with a thud.  
  
The three of them eyed each other, mouths open with shock, tall guy running over to her to make sure she was okay. He put a hand out to help her up which she shied away from.  
"Zara, are you okay?" He asked, concern in his face. Zara shook her head confused.  
"Why the fuck would you throw me across a room and then ask if I'm okay?"  
"You hit me first!" He said, brows furrowed with confusion, "I thought you were gunning for a re-match... But you didn't fight back..."  
"What the HELL are you talking about?" She demanded, her voice cracking.  
"You don't remember our fight? On Coulson's plane?" He asked.  
"YOU'RE Grant Ward?"  
He grabbed her arm, pulling her to her feet, nodding in reply, mouth open in shock. Rachael skipped over to him, putting an arm around his waist. Zara's eyes darted between the two of them, not sure what to say.  
"You've been wiped..." He said, watching her wince at the words.  
"I'm so sorry, Zara. I wouldn't have reacted like that if I'd known." He said regretfully.  
  
Zara backed off, shooting them both a glare before getting the hell out of that room as quick as she could. She ducked into an empty office and locked the door behind her, turning the light off. She pulled out her phone and dialed Bucky's number, hands shaking.  
"How'd you go?" Came his friendly voice.  
"I've forgotten..." She said, her voice cracking. "I can't fight..."  
"WHERE ARE YOU?" He demanded, picking up on her tone.  
"In an office three doors up from the gym. Level 6"  
"I'm on my way"


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I logged in after almost a week away to see a bunch of new kudos on both of my works and a HEAP of new hits. Thank you so much to everyone who's been following my little fic, it made for some excellent writing motivation. In return, here's a nice long chapter for you :)  
> -Luv Kaytee xoxo

  
  
It only took Zara a couple of seconds to decide her plan of action. If she was honest with herself the fact that Ward pushed her over hadn't upset her at all. He was just doing the protective boyfriend thing just the same as Bucky would have done if the roles were reversed. She'd heard enough about the man to know that if he'd wanted to hurt her, he would have done, without a second thought.  
God only knows what Rachael had told him about her - she'd obviously left out the fact that she'd been wiped. Ward was a senior, a member of Coulson's elite team. Surely he wouldn't attack a girl half his size that was essentially defenseless? He'd been warm and friendly till the little princess had piped up... The sneaky little bitch had obviously done that intentionally. Batted her pretty brown eyes at Ward, get him on her side and then sicked him onto Zara like a dog.  
  
Zara decided right then and there that she wasn't going to tell Bucky the ins and outs of what happened. She'd take much pleasure in getting her own revenge back on Blondie herself. The days of hiding behind Bucky Barnes were over. She'd learn to fight, and take her rightful place in the ranks of Shield. She'd be that confident, strong woman she'd seen in the photos, against all odds.  
  
Her eyes shot up from her spot on the floor when she heard the sickening crunch of metal as the locked door handle turned, snapped off, and fell to the floor. A familiar silhouette stepped into the room, closed the door behind him, and crouched down in front of her. He looked over her with worried eyes, taking her face in his hands.  
"Are you hurt?!" He said, concern in his voice and brows pinched. Zara shook her head, her mouth still open a little from the shock of her little revelation. Her heart was still racing and she breathed heavily, suddenly feeling puffed out. She put it down to a bit of anxiety. She swallowed hard, closing her eyes for a few seconds, opening them again before she spoke.  
"No, I'm not hurt... Just a bit shocked, I guess" She said, cocking her eyebrow.  
"What happened?" He asked firmly, dropping his hands to her arms. Zara blew a breath out and shook her head softly again.  
"You need to teach me how to fight" She said, with a look of desperation on her face.  
"You're not making any sense" He said, sounding angry now. Bucky had his 'who do I have to kill' face on, and it wasn't helping matters one bit. Zara's eyes shot around the small dark room and the ajar door. Nobody else needed to hear this conversation... She reached out and took his hands.  
"Take me home" She said, brows pinched with stress. "Please..."  
Bucky frowned and nodded, standing and helping her to her feet. He put his arm around her protectively and planted a light kiss on her temple.  
"Come on. I've got you."  
  
  
  
Bucky sat her on his kitchen counter and pressed the button on the front of the coffee machine, placing a mug under the spout. He turned to face her, leaning on the bench, a hand either side of her legs.  
"So what happened this morning, Zara?" He asked, eyes serious, and expression calm. She blew out a breath, she was going to have to come clean, well, to a degree.  
"I... I inadvertently picked a fight with someone" She said, looking into his eyes. He was a human lie detector and was big on the whole eye-contact thing. Bucky dropped his head and let out an exasperated sigh.  
"What do you mean you 'inadvertently picked a fight' with someone?" He said, obviously trying hard to keep his frustration to himself as much as possible.  
"I got angry and shoved someone. He blocked me and pushed me away, and I fell." She said truthfully, feeling a little sheepish as her cheeks reddened.  
"HE!? Who the hell was it? And what are you doing shoving someone!?" He demanded, making her jump.  
"It doesn't matter who it was, Bucky-"  
"Like HELL it doesn't!"  
"It wasn't his fault. I pushed HIM. I lost MY temper. I'M the one in the wrong here, and he was still kind enough to help me to my feet and apologize. Profusely" She said, backing up as much as she could away from Bucky who was now leaning over her. He was furious. He was absolutely seething and it worried her the thought of what he'd do to someone when he was like this.  
  
Bucky let out a long breath, calming himself down. It wasn't going to do anyone any good getting all riled up.  
"Why are you protecting him?" he asked calmly after a few moments, eyes narrowed.  
"Because If I give you a name you're just gonna stomp down there, and put the guy in a coma or worse. He did nothing wrong, and you look like you're about to kill someone" She said.  
"Well I have killed people for a lot less..." He agreed, "But I can't have another guy putting his hands on you, pushing you around, threatening you. I won't tolerate it, Zara. I also won't tolerate being lied to" He said, lowering his voice.  
"I'm not lying to you, I told you exactly what happened"  
"No you DIDN'T!" He argued, voice raised as his fist came down on the counter top.  
"THIS is my whole point!" She snapped, raising her voice as well. "You are on the edge of a knife and you just SNAP at absolutely nothing"  
"You being pushed around by another guy is NOT nothing" He snarled.  
"Bucky you weren't there. You didn't see what happened, and it wasn't like that." She said, staring him down, unafraid now. "I mean look at me... I'm so fucking freaked out by EVERYTHING right now. I'm afraid every minute I'm awake, I'm afraid to go to sleep, I'm afraid every time YOU make a sudden movement. I caught my shadow out of the corner of my eye and jumped at THAT this morning..." She said, her voice cracking.  
"Zara..." He put his hand on her hip, his expression softening.  
"No, don't 'Zara' me, Bucky. If this guy meant to hurt me, he would have hurt me. If he wanted to scare me, I'd be a blithering wreck right now. You say that I have to trust you, well you have to trust me, too. It was a misunderstanding, and he apologized for it straight away" She said, relaxing a little. Bucky pursed his lips and nodded.  
"The point is, I don't want you running off to fight my battles for me. I can't hide behind you forever, Bucky. I know you'll always be there, but I need to be able to defend myself as well." She said.  
Bucky nodded his head, not happy with the whole thing but understanding where she was coming from all the same.  
"I don't like this..." He said, keeping his voice intentionally calm and choosing his words carefully, "but you're right about needing to defend yourself... I'll rent us a slot in the gym first thing, and we can run through a few moves." He said, his jaw still set, but a softness now reaching his eyes. Zara reached out and put her arms around his neck and kissed him, her forehead coming to rest against his.  
"Thank you for being understanding" She said. He let out a frustrated sigh and kissed her again.  
  
_I think I just saved your life, Mr Ward..._  
  
  
  
The rest of the day was a quiet one. They stretched out on the bed talking for hours, Bucky explaining who it was in the photos as Zara described them to him. He got his tablet out and showed her a heap of old photos, everything from Tony's party happy snaps, to the odd 'couple selfie' taken on missions. A few of them made Zara laugh, there was a couple of videos she'd taken where she'd tried to sneak up on him when he was sleeping and he'd been a bit... 'Reactive' to say the least. It had become a running joke apparently with a few other crew members joining in, and it was all well and good until he'd woken up with a start and put one of the young guys in a sleeper hold. Zara felt the color drain out of her face getting a mental image of that one.  
There was THAT video of her fighting Grant Ward which Bucky took great pride in showing her - several times over - all with a running commentary.  
It made Zara smile to see Bucky so passionate about something. It was clear he had an encyclopedic knowledge on all things combat. He'd encouraged her to her feet to show her several stances and how to get out of various hold - all of which were things that she sucked at but would pick up in time.  
  
  
  
Zara yawned when Bucky wasn't looking but going by the look he turned to give her, his hearing was obviously pretty on point. She rolled her eyes as she dropped her bag on the floor against the wall, squinting at the red and orange morning light coming through the half-closed vertical blinds. It was easy to forget about the whole 'enhanced soldier' thing. He'd never shown any impressive display of superhuman strength, speed or anything else in her presence. He WAS quick on his feet, but then again so were other guys that were as trained as he was. Hell, even Grant Ward was pretty quick-  
  
"You look nervous already" Bucky's voice interrupted her thoughts. Zara swallowed hard. She wasn't nervous about the fighting, it must have been her thinking about Ward. She didn't think she'd ever get used to Bucky being able to read her so well. She suddenly stopped in her tracks, full of worry as she looked over to him, making him stop short as well to see what had bothered her.  
"The super soldier thing makes you fast and strong, right?" She asked, holding her breath.  
"Among other things, yeah..." He said. "Why?"  
"Is mind reading one of them?" She asked, watching his face turn into a smirk.  
"What if I said yes?" he teased, cocking a brow and giving a cheeky sideways smile. The color drained out of her face. Bucky burst out laughing. His first thought had been that he could have a lot of fun with her thinking that, but then she'd go back to being a nervous wreck around him. Better to come clean.  
"No, I can't read minds" He chuckled, pulling her into a hug. It was endearing that she was worried about such a thing.  
"How do you always know what I'm thinking about, then!?" She said, a smile forming on her face.  
"Now YOU'RE the one being cute" he laughed, poking fun at her. She gave him a shove and quick as lightening he grabbed her wrist and spun her against him, pinning her against his chest. She tried to wriggle free but he tightened his grip on her, effortlessly.  
"Not fair!" She complained, making him laugh again. He let her go and she went to shove him again, quickly changing her mind when she saw the smirk on his face.  
"I know you better than you know yourself, Zara. Having enhanced senses helps, and then there's the 70 odd years of assassinations. It's made me pretty aware of people's body language. People are veeeerrrry predictable creatures..." He explained as he sat against the wall and gestured for her to sit beside him.  
"So I'm in good hands then?"  
"Very" He said, giving her a wink that made her cheeks dust pink a little.  
  
He began to stretch and told her to do the same, showing her a few basic ones which she picked up quickly, surprised by just how flexible she was.  
"I didn't know I could do THAT" She chuckled when a simple toe touch turned into at almost ballet-like movement as her forehead came down to her shin, and her toe pointed on its own.  
"You grew up doing gymnastics as a kid" He said, his expression soft. "It gave you an almost acrobatic fight style"  
Zara nodded thoughtfully, finishing the floor stretches and standing to begin on quads, back and moved onto shoulders. A smile crossed her face when she realized she'd done them all without instruction. Bucky hadn't said a word, just letting her own memory show her what to do.  
  
He picked up a pair of pads when they were warmed up and slipped his hands into them as they made their way to the center of the room. He turned to face her and held them up, giving her a nod. Her brows creased.  
"I'm supposed to punch these things, right?" She said, feeling the nerves come back. She was convinced she was about to make an absolute dick of herself. She balled her hands into fists and looked down at her feet, they were shoulder width apart like he'd shown her.  
  
_Oh god, I'm probably going to miss... Or break my stupid thumbs off..._  
  
She looked down at her fists, having a light-bulb moment as she untucked her thumbs. Bucky smiled at her, that was something she'd remembered on her own. She smiled back at him and steadied herself, and swung at the pad, hitting it off center, but hitting it nonetheless.  
"That was shit, wasn't it?" She asked, discouraged. He shook his head.  
"No not at all. It wasn't great, but it gives us a starting point" He encouraged. "I just wanted to see where you were at. Here, I have a better idea" he said, pulling the pads off and tossing them into the corner of the room as he led her to a huge punching bag that hung from the roof.  
He positioned himself in front of it and signaled to her to pay attention. He explained his stance and held both fists up in front of his face, explaining the importance of a fighter keeping their guard up. He slowly extended his arm, pointing out his straight wrist and pushing through the punch.  
  
"Got it?" He asked. Zara nodded and the next punch he threw was hard enough to shake the roof beam. She jumped at the impact, and he shot her a grin.  
"You hit like a hammer" She said, shaking her head and making him chuckle. He stepped away from the bag and gestured for her to come over. He stood behind her and guided her into position, straightening her shoulders.  
"Relax" he whispered into her ear, feeling her tension. She nodded and let a breath out.  
  
Bucky ran his hands down her arms, pulling her hands into fists, wrapping his fingers around them, encasing her hands with his. He held her left one up to shield her face, and extended her right one out to the bag, keeping it straight ad correct.  
"Got it?" He whispered in her ear, earning a nod from her. He kept his hands in place around her fists, extending the right one again, a little faster than before, and again one last time at full speed.  
  
He released her hands gently and stepped away from her, and nodded for her to try on her own. Her fist flew out and hit the bag, dead center in a perfect right jab. Zara's face lit up when she turned to him with a big smile.  
"Go again" he encouraged.  
Her fist came out a second time, producing a somewhat lackluster hit which frustrated her. She drew in a sharp breath, collecting her focus to try again. She blew out at the same time she threw her right fist into the bag, her left arm going in for a hit as if it was on autopilot, followed again by her right.  
Zara stood looking down at her hands which were now trembling in front of her, and then over at Bucky who looked both surprised and excited.  
"What the hell was that?" She stammered, cocking a brow in confusion.  
"THAT was a jab, cross, hook combo" he beamed. "And it was PERFECT"  
Zara's face lit up, and she suddenly realized how out of breath she was.  
"But how?"  
"Muscle memory" He smiled. "Now do it again."  
  
She took a breath and focused like she did last time, and punched out the same combination. This time Bucky gave her a nod of approval, before barking out "Again!"  
Zara lost track of how many times she did the combination, and it soon became apparent that "again" was Bucky's favourite word. He showed her a couple of other punches, and another two combinations which they worked on for a while. They finished up with some stretches and she was relieved when he handed her a water bottle and a towel and called it a day.  
  
She took a big drink, wiped her face and tucked everything into her gym bag, slinging it onto her shoulder. He took it off her and swung it onto his own.  
"I'm so fucking proud of you" He beamed, pulling her into a tight hug. "You did great"  
"Stop it, you'll make me cry" She giggled as he pulled back. "Thanks so much for helping me, Buck" She said, taking his face in her hands and kissed him.  
"Anytime"  
"Now let's get back, I need a really hot shower" She said, rubbing her shoulder as she stretched her neck.  
"Muscles a bit sore?" He asked.  
"Yeah, a little" She admitted. "The hot water should help though"  
"Well... I do give a great massage. You've said so yourself." he said, putting his arm around her as they made their way to the gym door.  
"You offering?"  
"Absolutely"  
"I might have to take you up on that"  
  
  
  
Back at the room, Zara was relieved to get into the hot shower, there was no way she was letting him put his hands on her when she felt sweaty and grimy. She gave her hair a good wash and leaned against the wall letting the water rinse the shampoo out slowly. She felt great after her lesson with Bucky. The fact that some of the moves had come back on their own had brought some confidence back, and she suddenly felt that hunger to learn more. She smiled, and for the first time in a long time, she genuinely felt great. Motivated. Inspired.  
  
Bucky pottered around the apartment, putting his clothes away from the fresh hamper and gave the kitchen counter a wipe when his phone rang. It was Coulson.  
  
"Barnes! How are you?" He beamed, his voice bright and cheerful.  
"Hey Coulson, going well, yourself?" He asked as he sat on the edge of the bed.  
"Great, how's Zara? I've been meaning to check in" He said. The bathroom door opened and she stepped out, right on cue. She'd thrown on a comfortable pair of sweats and a shoestring tank top, tying her wet hair back in a messy bun. She mouthed a 'sorry' to Bucky as she stepped out to say something, realizing he was on the phone. He smiled and scooted back a little, gesturing for her to come and sit between his knees on the edge of the bed.  
"Why don't you ask her yourself?" Bucky said as he put his phone on the dock, activating the loudspeaker as Zara sat in front of him nervously"  
"Hi Coulson, hope you're well" She said, jumping at the contact of his cold metal hand on her shoulder.  
"Sorry" Bucky whispered into her ear.  
"I am, thank you. How are you Zara?" Coulson's voice filled the room.  
"Going great. Yeah things have been good, no problems at all" She said, rocking her chin to her chest as Bucky's magic thumbs rubbed her neck. He wasn't kidding about being good at this...  
"So I trust your training with Bucky went well this morning?" He asked, making both her and Bucky draw a breath in. So busted.  
"I see news travels fast" Bucky said, unamused.  
"Don't worry, It was only me who saw you. I was on my way to an unexpected meeting and saw you through the window in the door. She looked great!" He enthused.  
"Aww, thanks!" Zara chuckled.  
"Anyway, Bucky, the reason I called is that I actually need your help "  
"I'm listening..." Bucky said, waiting to hear whatever favor he was about to be asked of.  
"I have an influx of rookies coming in." He said, getting straight to the point. "They're all completely untrained in combat, mostly tech and lab types, but they need some basic training as per new Shield protocol." He explained. Bucky nodded, knowing what Coulson was asking of him.  
"You want me to come coach a few classes?"  
"Yeah. Well, more like NEED you, really" He said, giving a chuckle. "Fury wants them with basic self defense at least by end of the quarter, which gives us a deadline of just under 7 weeks. That sort of schedule is fine with the usual intake who have some sort of experience, but these guys have never raised a fist in their lives. Added to that we have an instructor shortage with most of my elites out leading missions. Will you help me out?" He said, a hint of desperation in his voice.  
  
Zara turned to Bucky, giving him an encouraging smile and a nod.  
"Go for it!" She mouthed to him, giving his thigh a rub. He smiled back at her, dropping his hands from her neck and wrapping his arms around her, kissing her cheek.  
"No problem" he said, "Count me in."  
"You're a lifesaver, Barnes. You're really doing me a huge favor here" Came Coulson's relieved voice.  
"Happy to help" Buck said, his tone genuine as he gave Zara a squeeze.  
  
"Hey, I have an idea. While you're off training a class, what if I signed Zara up with one of the other instructors?" Coulson suggested." Zara and Bucky both tensed at the same time, as she turned herself to look at him, worry in both of their faces.  
"Are you serious!?" Zara gasped.  
"Just an idea, totally up to you" Coulson said, reassuringly.  
"But they'd know who I am... Wouldn't it be weird?" She asked. "They'd expect me to be all... Like I was..."  
"Well, you'd be completely anonymous. There are no photos of you on the archives, so they have no way of matching your name to your face even if they did look you up." He explained. "New environment, learning some skills and some socialization would probably do you the world of good. As I said, it's totally up to you."  
  
Zara leaned back against Bucky's chest, his arms tightening around her. He rested his chin on her shoulder, obviously weighing everything up in his head, the way he always did.  
"Should I?" She whispered to him. "I kinda want to"  
"If you want to, then you should do it" he whispered back.  
"But you don't want me to, do you?"  
  
"I hear whispering..." Came Coulson's voice.  
  
"As long as it's here in the building and you're gonna be safe, that's my main concern... If it's going to help you be the best person you can be, and you're safe doing it, then you should go for it." He said. Zara smiled, she knew that things like this were hard for him, but he was trying to be supportive.  
  
"Can we talk about it?" Bucky asked Coulson, after a few moments pause. "It sounds good in theory, but it'd be nice to mull it over first, get some more details. I'd like a say in who's class she'd go into" He said, earning a smile off her as she gave his knee a squeeze.  
"Oh, of course, of course! I still need to organize another couple of instructors, how's about I give you a call back this afternoon and we'll go from there?"  
"Sounds great, Coulson" Zara said with enthusiasm.  
"Okay, talk to you both later"  
"Thanks Coulson" Bucky said, giving Zara a smile.  
  
"Looks like I'm going back to fight school!" She announced out loud with a giggle.  
"Only if you behave yourself" Bucky said, mock stern as he flopped back onto the bed. Zara turned herself around so she was hovering over him, hands on the bed either side of his body, propping herself up. His hands found her waist and his mouth curved into a grin.  
"Me behave myself?" She scolded him, nodding down at his hands, earning a throaty chuckle from him. She smiled and bit her lip as he gave her hips a squeeze.  
"You shouldn't do that to me, you know..." She warned him.  
"Do what?"  
"Look at me that way, with those eyes..." She purred, inching closer to him, her lips hovering over his. His breath hitched as leaned towards her, only for her to teasingly pull away.  
"You started it..." He said, his voice low.  
  
She narrowed her eyes at him, loving the effect she had on him. She smiled a sideways smile and cocked a brow as his breathing deepened, finally giving in and crashing her lips to his. Zara confidently deepened the kiss, her tongue finding its way into his mouth as she let her weight down on him. Bucky's hands found her butt, making her gasp.  
They came up for air, a wicked smile on his face, an amused smirk on hers.  
"I started it?" She asked, kneeling up, still positioned between his thighs. Bucky nodded, still looking very pleased with himself. Zara cocked a brow, she knew exactly what would wipe that smug look off his face.  
She pulled her tank top off over her head and pulled her hair tie out, shaking her hair loose. Bucky's jaw dropped.  
  
"You better finish it then, Barnes..."


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first rule of fight club is that we don't talk about fight club... :P Only kidding, hehe. This chapter is kinda a bit of a filler so you'll have to bear with me. Thanks again for all the kudos, hits and comments on both of my fics, it really makes my day to log in to see those numbers creeping up! :D   
> -Kaytee xoxo

  
  
Phil Coulson had been a busy man over the past week, securing his team of instructors for the fight and defense classes and dividing the groups up. He had planned an orientation meeting where he would bring them all in, assign them to their groups and everyone could get acquainted.  
Bucky had spent some time with Coulson helping him plan how it was all going to run, and he even had a hand in selecting another team member to instruct. This had been a huge relief, now they had four capable guys, and Zara would go into a class with someone who knew her situation and would be sensitive to it, while giving her some great skills.  
  
  
  
  
The week had been reasonably uneventful for Bucky and Zara. She'd spent mornings in the gym getting her cardio fitness up as much as she could before training commenced. Bucky had gotten out her old iPod which he'd kept, shown her how to use it, and she loved loosing herself in her favorite music as she worked out.  
It was interesting to her that her tastes hadn't changed. Dr Reeves had given her a book on memory loss and trauma and she'd read that some patients had experienced changes in what they liked to eat, what they liked to watch and listen to and a whole host of other things. Besides all that, there were stories in there from people who had experienced complete memory loss, and gone on to lead successful lives and Zara had found it really comforting. There was nothing about anyone's memories being electrocuted out of their head by an evil organization, but all the same she found she could relate to the after effects of those who had experienced trauma.  
  
Zara had spent time exploring their building floor during the day, and found her stress levels had come down a whole lot. She felt grounded for the first time in a long time, things were going well with Bucky, and the couple of punching bag sessions she'd done had given her confidence.  
Steve was away on a mission somewhere, and with Bucky off helping Coulson, Zara had found herself bored one afternoon. She'd spent the morning in the gym, gone back to her own room and had a shower, read and tidied and she craved a bit of company. She had wandered down the corridor not really caring where she was headed, and her feet had taken her to the doors of Tony Stark's lab. Zara knocked on the door, expecting for him to either not be in there, or to be busy, but to her surprise he was there and in much need of a break from tinkering with whatever it was he had on the desk.  
  
"Zeejay!" He'd beamed as she stepped through the door.  
"Hey, Stark" She had shot him a big smile and gone right over to give him a hug which he returned. He'd poured them each a glass of single malt scotch and he'd turned the computer screen off and let the soldering iron cool.  
They talked shit for what felt like ages, their friendly banter going back and forth effortlessly. Tony stark was a sarcastic know-it-all at the best of times, but Zara found the friendship between the two of them easy. He had a good heart and well, if she was honest with herself she found him funny as hell. Not to mention he had exquisite taste in liquor.  
Zara told him about the training she'd done with Bucky with the punching bag, and told him about the fight training class, which of course he already knew about. They talked about the few memories that she'd gotten back, and Tony showed her his newest suit, which she'd been really impressed with. There was a pang of familiarity that hit her when she saw the mask of the suit, but not much more beyond that. Usually that pang meant the wheels in her head were turning and something would come back to her, whether it be in her sleep, or just a fleeting memory. She was getting a lot of those lately, just glimpses of images in her head now and then. Some were nice, others weren't.  
When it was time to go, she had thanked Tony for the drinks and given him another hug, promising to come again for another visit soon. Tony said he'd organize a gathering soon for the elite team, and bring Pepper along too.  
  
  
  
  
Things had been amazing with Bucky. Sleeping together had been better than she'd imagined, she could only describe him as a gentleman making sure she was okay in the initial stages, and then they just let go and rolled with it. Zara couldn't remember a time when she'd felt so good. They'd had a joke about her losing her virginity all over again, which if she thought about it, was quite an accurate way of putting it. Her body knew what to do, but it was all new to her mind. The only thing she knew now was that she couldn't get enough of him, and luckily the feeling was mutual. It was going to be fun getting to know each other intimately all over again.  
  
It had given her a whole new air of self confidence, and as a result she'd been braver with day to day things, working out alone and spending time talking to former team-mates in the common room. She had met up with Sylvia North who had burst into tears and hugged the crap out of her. Sylvia was a warm, kind woman and Zara took an instant liking to her. Sylvia had talked her through what had happened that day during the Hydra base attack, the quin-jet crash and everything else she could remember. She explained that Zara had gone back for her and saved her life.  
She rolled up her sleeve and showed Zara her arm, which was prosthetic from below the elbow down. It was metal, much like Bucky's. They had tried a synthetic flesh covering but it too often got damaged out in the field and Sylvia grew sick of them taking molds and replacing the 'skin' every mission. It didn't bother her though, the arm had become a sort of symbol or her resilience and she rocked the hell out of it.  
  
  
  
Zara made her way down the hallway to the training room. It was the morning of the orientation day and although she hadn't admitted it aloud, she was nervous. She had threatened to color her hair or chop it off and Bucky had put a firm stop on that idea.  
"You don't need to change yourself or hide behind a disguise. Nobody knows what you look like" He had reassured her. He'd even taken her to Coulson's office and typed her name into the archives. Not a single picture, even her ID had been removed as she'd been considered deceased. The archives weren't accessible to anyone outside of Shield, much less anyone without a decent level of clearance.  
The only other thing was choosing an alias to go by. If she started acting shifty and refused to give a name, it would only draw unwanted attention to her. She decided that rather than pick a new name, she'd just go by her nickname. It was something only her closest circle knew, and she'd pick a generic surname to go along with it. Easy.  
The only other thing was she had to ignore Bucky. She didn't know him, and if she spoke to him, it had to be as if they'd never met before. Zara smirked at the thought, it might prove tricky to pretend not to know someone she was rolling around with only a few hours prior...  
  
Zara blew out a breath as she approached the training room. She looked down at herself. She'd been given a rookie uniform to wear. It consisted of black combat pants over combat boots and a fitted v-neck long sleeve shirt with a logo. Bucky explained it was similar to what the Strike team wore, obviously minus the weapons and bullet proof vests and jackets.  
She walked through the door which had been propped open, and caught sight of Bucky, Ward and two other men who she didn't recognize. She let out a breath as she closed her eyes.  
  
_Relax..._  
  
She made her way over to where the other rookies were gathered, not game to make eye contact with anyone. They were asked to find a spot on the floor and sit while the last of them arrived. Zara looked at her watch, 8.55am. She pulled the tail of her French braid over her shoulder and fiddled with the end of it nervously. She was glad her hair had grown so quickly since it had been hacked off. It sat just below her shoulders now.  
"Hi!" A bubbly voice rang out beside her. Zara felt sick, she didn't particularly want to speak to anyone. She turned her head to see a girl around her age. She had fire-engine red hair, wore black rimmed glasses and had a lip piercing. She was a fit looking girl, obviously smart to be a Shield tech at her age, and had an edgy, alternative vibe to her.  
"Hi" Zara said softly, returning her smile.  
"I'm terrified" The red head said. "Please tell me I'm not the only one"  
"You have NO idea" Zara chuckled.  
"Jessica Middleton" She said, putting out her hand to shake. "Jess" She shrugged.  
"Zeejay Morgan" Zara said, shaking her hand. "Zee or Zeejay"  
"Edgy!" Jess exclaimed.  
"You can thank my parents for that one" Zara smiled. She looked around the room which was quickly filling around her. There had to be a good 40 or 50 people in there with her, all in matching uniforms, sitting cross legged on the floor. She felt like a school kid. She risked a glance up the front fleetingly making eye contact with Bucky before looking away from him. His face was expressionless and he didn't smile at her, but she'd expected as much. She looked over at Jess who had caught her looking away from Bucky.  
"Intimidating, isn't he?" Jess said, her body giving a shiver. "I hope I don't get assigned to him-"  
  
She was interrupted by a piercing, loud whistle from the front of the room that made everyone jump. There was Bucky standing in front of the other three instructors, taking his two fingers out of his mouth, his body language confident and demanding everyone's attention.  
"Hey everyone" His voice boomed, "Welcome to orientation. For those who don't know me, My name is James Barnes. You can call me Bucky... Everybody else does. Up front we have Agent Grant Ward, Agent Jack Parsons, and Agent Lance Murphy" He said, gesturing to each of them in turn, and giving Lance a friendly pat on the shoulder.  
  
"You're all here because you're all valuable members of Shield, whether it be tech, lab, administration or any of the other non-combat fields. Due to a new protocol we're rolling out, you will all be given basic training so you'll be able to protect yourselves should you need to." He said with authority.  
"You'll be meeting with your instructors 4 days a week. Some days will be physical training, some days will be in a classroom environment, and I've been told we will be running some combat simulations as well" He said as he pushed the loose strands that had escaped from his ponytail back off his face. Zara was sure she heard the collective sigh from all the females in the room. Not that she blamed them.  
"The four of us came from very different backgrounds, and as a result we all have something to bring to the table, different defensive manoeuvres and fight styles." He explained.  
"SO, what we're gonna do is break you all up into groups, and you'll spend a week with each one of us in your teams, and after that four weeks we'll assess you and go from there. Any questions?" He asked, crossing his arms, eyes scanning the room. A couple of hands shot up.  
"Yeah, if we're doing basic self defense training, why is there a need for combat simulations and the worry about fight styles? I mean a punch is a punch, right?" Came the voice of a young guy in the crowd. There were a few sniggers in the crowd, which Bucky stopped by glaring in the direction they had come from.  
"Basic civilian self defense is different to ours. Civilians might have to fight off a mugger, whereas you guys might have to fight off a Hydra team or something of the like. I'm sure if your labs were stormed, you'd want to know what to do in the unlikely event that that happens." Bucky answered.  
"But weren't Hydra eradicated?"  
Bucky let out a bitter chuckle and shook his head.  
"Never, ever assume anything" He said, "There are bound to be bottom-feeders out there, clawing their way back, but that's our job to worry about, not yours. Aside from that, Hydra are not our only threat, and we need to be prepared" He said, clearly holding back.  
The young guy nodded and smiled, obviously grateful for the answer. The other two hands lowered, and it seems nobody else had questions, so they moved on.  
  
"The four of us are going to call out the names of our trainees. All you have to do is sit tight and listen out for your name, and we'll split up into our groups at the end"  
There were a few murmurs of chatter around the room as Parsons handed the lists out to each instructor and Bucky spoke to the three of them.  
  
"I hope I get assigned to him" Came Jess's hushed voice.  
"What changed your mind?" Zara chuckled and Jess grinned.  
"The biceps... Then the smile, then the eyes" She giggled.  
"He is pretty cute" Zara agreed.  
"Cute? The man is gorgeous! Everyone says what a jerk he is, but he actually seems... Probably to wrong word, but nice?" She said, cocking her head thoughtfully.  
"You can't blame him for coming off like a jerk though, poor guy has been through a lot. It takes some serious strength to keep picking yourself up after so many heartaches. I thought the last one would have broken him for sure" Jess said, looking over at Zara, who's stomach was now in a knot and a puzzled look on her face.  
"You heard about it didn't you? His girlfriend died saving his life, just awful" Jess said, a frown on her face.  
"You'd think something like that would be classified" Zara pointed out.  
"Nope, right there on the archives. I know because I wrote most of them" She said nonchalantly with a shrug. Zara nodded, suppressing her inner urge to run screaming from the room and hide.  
  
The instructors were still talking among themselves, this whole not talking about herself or Bucky was hard considering the girl sitting next to her was the one who wrote out the damned archives. Zara had no idea if her being back at Shield had been listed on there.  
  
"Is there anything else about his girlfriend on there?" Zara tested.  
"Not really, not anything that my level has access to anyway." She said. Zara let out a sigh of relief and felt herself relax. "Everyone knew that him and her were dating though. She died a hero, I hope he finds someone special again" Jess smiled, fluffing her hair.  
"I wonder if he likes red heads?" She quipped. Zara chuckled, her smile reaching her eyes. Her secret was safe for now.  
  
Ward stepped forward and started calling names, one by one till he got through his list, Followed by Parsons who did the same. Zara wasn't sure if she'd seen him before. He was your typical soldier, tall, strong and confident, but there was a friendliness in his eyes that made him not so scary. Jess seemed to know a little about them all, and explained that Parsons had been an ex-marine before coming to Shield.  
Murphy was apparently another ex-military member of the team. He had gone through the Shield training programme, top of his class, and he'd been promoted not long after the fall of the original Shield building. He called Jess's name out, and then Zara's, making an effort to not look up at her as he did. Zara got that warm, familiar feeling from him, she must have known him.  
"Looks like we're classmates" Jess said, giving a smile.  
  
It wasn't long before it was their turn to get up and follow a small group out the door with Agent Lance Murphy. They went into an empty classroom and pulled up a chair. The first thing Zara noticed about him was his laid-back personality and how warm and friendly he was to everyone. She thanked her lucky stars he wasn't a 'drill sergeant' type.  
"Hey everyone, make yourselves comfortable. First of all, you can all call me Lance." He said, before telling them a little about himself. They went around the room, each of the trainees introducing themselves. Brad, IT Tech. Sarah, Medical. Kyle, Intelligence... Zara's heart raced, she didn't realize she needed a back story. She didn't know a damn thing about medicine, computers or science. When it was her turn she decided to go with administration. There wasn't much to answering a phone or filing.  
  
The orientation meeting didn't last long. They were given all the information they needed, and were told to meet up in one of the conference rooms at 8am sharp the following morning. Lance had called Zara over and when the rest of the group left, he closed the door so they were in the room alone.  
"It's so good to see you, Zara" He smiled.  
"We know each other, I take it?"  
"Yeah, we know each other" He chuckled. "You don't remember the building collapse obviously. You got me and a few of my colleagues out safely." He said. "You saved our lives"  
"I'm hearing a lot of those stories lately" She chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of her neck.  
"We were friends. You used to tell me to fuck off all the time" he joked. "Anyway, Barnes and I are good friends and I promised him to look out for you. If you have any problems just let me know, and I'm here to help if you need to talk or anything"  
"Appreciate it" She said with a smile.  
  
  
  
  
Zara found it hard to sleep that night, the anticipation for the start of training was keeping her up. She lost track of how long she tossed and turned for, the guilt of keeping Bucky awake wasn't helping, despite his assurances that he was fine.  
When she did finally fall asleep her dreams were full of gunfights and hand combat. There were enemies everywhere and she had no backup. She was running as fast as she could through the scrub, gunshots rang out in the background, over the sound of roaring flames and yelling. She had to get to the quin-jet, it was just around the corner. Her chest burned as she heaved for breath, branches whipping at her face as she ducked and weaved.  
She woke up with a jagged gasp, somebody had her. She struggled, going from fear to anger at her attacker in a split second. She freed an arm and jabbed him in the throat, hard. There was a gasp and a cough from him, and Zara wasted no time kicking him away from her with both feet as she rolled off the bed, landing with a thud on her back on the floor. He was on her again before she even had the chance to open her eyes. She threw a punch which was caught in a strong fist and she was pinned to the floor.  
"Zara!... Zara!" Came a familiar voice.  
Zara stopped fighting against his grip and her eyelids fluttered as everything became clear. She opened her hands in surrender and he released her.  
Bucky hung his head, letting out a sigh of relief.  
"You had a bad dream..." He said with sympathy in his voice. Zara sat up, propping herself against the bedside table to catch her breath. She balled her shaking hands into fists and closed her eyes as she concentrated on slowing her breathing down.  
"I'm so sorry" She said regretfully, turning to face him as he stood.  
"Don't be" He said, taking her hands and pulling her to her feet, "bad nights are all part of it. I would know" he cocked a sideways smile as he wrapped his arms around her. She relaxed into him, resting her head on his chest, feeling better already.  
"What happened?" He asked.  
"Oh, nothing unusual. Just a combat situation, fire, gunshots and then I was grabbed." She said.  
"You okay?"  
"Yeah, I'm fine" She said, "As you said before, it's all part of it, and to be honest I'm getting used to the dreams and flashbacks." She said, her expression softening.  
  
"That left jab is coming along a treat" Bucky chuckled after a pause. Zara gasped in horror.  
"I hit you!?"  
"Yeah, perfect throat shot too" He said with pride in his voice. Zara pulled away, both hands going straight to his neck to check for marks.  
"Oh my god I'm so sorry!" She said, mortified. Bucky laughed, finding the whole situation quite amusing.  
"It's fine, really! Your accuracy and technique was impressive, not to mention getting out of a hold and the push kick. Just goes to show, it's all in there, we just have to unlock it" He smiled, leaning to kiss her.  
"Still, I'd rather unlock it into a punching bag, not my boyfriend" She chuckled.  
"I'll never get sick of hearing you call me that" He smiled, making her giggle.  
"I'll never get sick of saying that, so long as you don't mind me beating you up, occasionally" She said, cocking a sideways smile.  
"It's fine, I promise. Come on, let's get back to bed, I'm sure I can think of a way you can make it up to me..."  
  
  



	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ooh, so many new hits since the last update! Thanks so much for reading :D xx

  
  
Zara put her arms into her jacket, zipping it up as she looked across the classroom at the other students. They'd done their first week with Lance which had basically been an introduction, a few evasive manoeuvres and a few punch drills. This had all been well and good until Zara had attracted some unwanted attention when extra punches came out in combinations they hadn't learned yet. She hadn't been trying, it was as if her muscles just knew what to do, and as usual her mind had no idea what was going on.  
She'd overheard a few of the rookies calling her a 'freak' and a 'show off' when they thought she wasn't listening. If only they knew... Something deep down inside her wanted to show them how much of a freak she really was... She swallowed the anger down and ignored them. Only three more weeks after this one and they'd be a distant memory.  
She had started stuffing up moves on purpose to hide any real talent she had for any of the fight maneuvers. Part of her was ecstatic that a lot of it had come back, and the other part of her felt completely ostracized because of it.  
Jess had stuck up for her, telling the other rookies off unabashedly when she'd overheard them, and it had pushed her further from the group as well. Jess hadn't been an overly popular girl, she was incredibly smart and said exactly what was on her mind. Her lack of a filter had frightened people off, whereas Zara appreciated it. Honesty was hard to come by these days.  
  
Zara wasn't 100% sure how to take Jess's openness sometimes. She didn't know the girl from a bar of soap, but there she was, a friend who wanted nothing in return. She wished she wasn't so untrusting of others... The two girls got along great, she'd just have to learn to let her guard down... But not too far.  
Then there was the boy who kept giving her flirty smiles and seemed to be looking at her all the time. He'd wordlessly put himself protectively between Zara and the nasty, judgmental members of the class when they'd said things about her. He was yet to say anything to her, but was always right there in the wings and always on her side. Every class Zara tried to figure him out. He was either a complete creep, or just a shy guy who had a good heart. It was hard to tell, and Zara wasn't in the right head-space to be trying to work people out right now.  
  
It was all too much to take for an anxious amnesiac who was putting her boyfriend through hell. Bucky never complained about the nights where Zara woke up kicking and screaming, sometimes both. If there was one thing she didn't get, it was how someone could be so goddamned supportive, kind, protective and understanding... Sure, he knew what it was like recovering from the Hydra memory wipes, he still had nightmares occasionally, but Zara always felt like she was being a pain in the ass. Bucky was very well known for not being very tolerant, getting angry at little things and even acting out aggressively, but with her it was different. He was a whole other person. Maybe they balanced each other out? Maybe he was a ticking time bomb? Surely there was a limit to how many sleepless nights he could take?  
  
  
  
"Good class, huh!" Jess beamed at Zara. Where the girl got her energy from, she'd never know.  
"You kicked ass today" Zara smiled.  
"ME? You need to teach me some of those moves, you're like, crazy talented" Jess giggled, giving Zara a pat on the shoulder.  
The girls picked their bags up and left the room, thanking Lance on their way out as they headed for the cafeteria like they had done the last three days in a row. They both ordered a strong coffee and just for kicks, a thick slice of chocolate mud cake to share. The two of them had become fast friends, Jess was always chatty and had a story to tell, which was great because it meant that Zara didn't have to do much talking.  
They sat at their usual table and took the lids from their cups, a waft of steam escaping, both girls breathing in the amazing scent. There wasn't many things in the world that Zara loved more than coffee.  
  
"So miss, why were you so tired this morning?" Jess said.  
  
_Oh god, a question... She doesn't usually ask those..._  
  
"Not sleeping too well" Came Zara's honest reply. At least it was the truth, she'd been able to dodge questions and lie to the others, but her growing friendship with Jess posed a threat to her secrets.  
"Oh, really? Why not?" Jess asked, genuine concern in her expression as she sipped her coffee. Zara drew a deep breath, she didn't know what the hell to say, she didn't want to lie, but then again she wasn't sure if she could trust this girl or not yet. She wanted to, she needed a friend, that much was certain.  
"I don't know..." She said, looking down at her steaming cup. She heard Jess sigh in frustration.  
"You CAN talk to me, you know" Jess said, cocking her head. Zara nodded, not looking up at her while she worked out what to say.  
"Just stressed, I guess. I can't talk about it, sorry" She said, looking up at Jess.  
"You can't as in it's difficult, or you can't because it's classified?"  
"Classified"  
"To what level?"  
"Seven" Zara said, pulling a number out of thin air.  
  
_Seven was high level, right?_  
  
"You're a level seven!?" Jess exclaimed, keeping her voice barely above an enthusiastic whisper.  
"Hell no! I'm nothing special around here. The classified thing is level seven. I'm not saying another word about it, I'm sure I can get in trouble for even talking about a classified thing" Zara said, her palms getting clammy. Jess nodded in agreeance before looking over her shoulder.  
"Well, you just got a whole lot more interesting" Jess grinned. Zara was sure she felt the color drain out of her face.  
"Here, have some cake before I eat it all" Jess chuckled, handing Zara a fork.  
  
"So what are we going to do about Kyle?" Jess asked as the two girls left the cafeteria. Zara shot her a look, not wanting to think of Mr intense-flirty-eyes for a second longer. She let out an exasperated sigh and shook her head. She didn't want to talk about boys, all she wanted was a hot shower, and possibly a nap if she could shut her brain off long enough for sleep to kick in.  
"What on Earth do you mean?" Zara said, unable to think of something to steer the conversation away.  
"Zeejay Morgan, it doesn't take an IQ of 140 to see that the guy is sweet on you"  
"Um, last I checked this wasn't high school, and stop bragging about your IQ" She chuckled. "I'm NOT interested in him, and I hope he finds someone ELSE to latch onto."  
"What would it hurt? He's cute!" Jess insisted.  
"Well why don't YOU go out with him then?" Zara quipped, arching a brow. Jess looked at her dumb foundered.  
"Me? Me go out with him? I don't think so" Jess said, looking utterly offended at the thought as she shook her head. Zara laughed heartily and wiped her eyes.  
"Okay, so no Kyle for either of us..." Zara said, trying to stifle her laughter. Jess joined in and they continued giggling as they walked down the hall, coming to a T junction.  
"You going home for the weekend?" Zara asked.  
"Yeah, aren't you?" Jess questioned, raising a brow.  
"I have to help out with a few things before I get to go home. The busy life of an assistant..." Zara shrugged.  
"You never told me who's assistant you were"  
"That's because that's classified" she said, giving a wink.  
"You sure have a lot of secrets for someone who answers phones for a living..." Jess said, with an 'I'm not buying this' look on her face. Zara shrugged and smiled nonchalantly.  
"It is what it is, I guess!" She said, not sure how to counter her. "Come on, I'll walk you to the door, I don't have to be anywhere for a half hour."  
  
The two girls chatted as they walked down the corridor, Jess getting a little more brazen with her question-asking. She really was like a dog with a bone. Zara chuckled when she noticed and just answered most of them with the usual 'nope, nup and nuh-uh' responses. The joys of having a smart friend. The subject was changed to what their plans were for the weekend, Jess was due back at the building for a meeting on Saturday.  
"What meeting?" Zara asked, making a mental note to make herself scarce that day.  
"THAT, my dear friend is classified" Jess said, rubbing it in. The two of them burst out laughing loudly, earning annoyed looks from workers in the corridor. They hushed themselves, a small giggle escaping now and then.  
"You seriously have a meeting on Saturday?" Zara asked again.  
"Yeah, I actually do. I can't talk about it though, until I know more. Work related, but if it goes ahead, I'll fill you in" She smiled.  
"Well good luck with whatever it is" Zara said, giving a genuine smile back. The moment was dashed when she heard someone yelling her name from down the hall.  
  
"Zeejay! What are you doing down this end of the building?" Came the voice of Tony Stark as he approached them, shoving his Smartphone into his pocket. Zara looked over at Jess who was completely and utterly star struck and flabbergasted. Zara grinned.  
"Hey Stark" She smiled. "Oh, sorry... Tony, this is my friend Jess Middleton. Jess, Tony Stark" She said, gesturing back and forth. Jess put her hand out to shake his, and had to tell herself to shut her shocked, gaping mouth.  
"HUGE fan, Mr Stark" She gushed.  
"Thank you" He smiled, before turning his head back to Zara and raising his brows. He was still waiting for an answer.  
"I'm just walking Jess out" She said, taking the hint.  
  
Zara out the front of the building was not a good idea just yet, not without someone with her, someone who had their wits about them. Not with the new threats they'd been given. Tony sighed, Barnes would never let him hear the end of it if he let her go. Hell, he was quite fond of the kid, and he wasn't about to let her walk into any possibility of danger...  
  
It would take her 5 minutes to get to the foyer, and another 5 to get back, even if she was quick.  
"You can walk her to the foyer entrance, but I need you in the lab in exactly 6 minutes" He said with a nod. She'd only get as far as the elevator door if his calculations were correct, and Jarvis could keep an eye on her to make sure she didn't go farther than that. "Don't be a SECOND late" He called over his shoulder as he continued up the hallway. Zara rolled her eyes.  
  
"YOU know TONY STARK!?" Jess said, her face in shock and awe.  
"Yeah, I know Stark, alright" She said, tugging at Jess's arm as they headed to the foyer.  
"So that's who you work for? Holy shit..."  
"I do NOT work for Stark" Zara said, hurrying towards the elevator and pressing the button.  
"Well then why does he need you in exactly 6 minutes?"  
"Because he's a demanding little... Never mind..." She said as the doors opened. "We're good friends, he's done a lot for me while I've been here, so if he asks for a favour, I help out. Sometimes it's errands, helping him in the lab, pass him things, that sort of stuff" She said with a shrug.  
"Are you guys... Seeing each other?"  
"NO!"  
"Is that why you're not interested in Kyle?" Jess teased, enjoying getting a rise out of her.  
"NO! I have a boyfri-" Zara started...  
"Ha! I knew it!" Jess grinned. "Anyone I know?"  
Zara let out a breath of exasperation and closed her eyes. She wasn't sure whether Jess has backed her into a corner, or she'd just been careless... Definitely careless... Well, at least she didn't give away who it was.  
"No. It's nobody you would know..." She said, a little annoyed.  
"Sorry, Zee... Was just teasing you" Jess said, Zara's expression softening.  
"It's fine, It's not you" Zara said, warmth back in her face again, much to Jess's relief.  
"You really are a closed book aren't you?" Jess said after a pause. "Sorry... Psyche major talking."  
Zara smiled and waved her hand, gesturing that it was fine.  
"I just can't talk about... A few things right now." Zara explained, stumbling over her words as she tried to clear things up without giving anything important away. Jess nodded, she was really quite understanding, all things considered.  
"I wish I could, but you can't be too careful... Everything is a bit complicated at the moment. It's hard."  
"You don't trust anybody do you?" Jess said, finally. Zara shook her head.  
"No, I can't afford to." She said, giving a shrug. "But for a select few, I'm working on it" She said, giving a smile.  
"What on Earth happened to you, Zeejay Morgan?" Jess pondered aloud after a sigh. It was a rhetorical question, she knew Zara wouldn't give anything away. Wouldn't or couldn't.  
Zara gave a chuckle under her breath. "I might tell you one day. It's no big deal, really." She said, playing it down.  
  
_Sure, Jess! I grew up working for Hydra before I blew the base up and was rescued by Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, who I then started dating. I ran away, blew up a Hydra base, started a war, and then eventually 'died' in battle, becoming a Hydra assassin with a wiped memory. I was rescued once again by our dynamic duo and am now living with and seeing Bucky Barnes - the guy you have the world's most epic crush on. Don't even ask what we were doing this morning... Shut up, brain!_  
  
Zara giggled, thankful that Jess couldn't read minds. When she played it out, it really was quite a story...  
  
"You don't have to do that. I suppose it's classified after all, isn't it?" Jess said, interrupting Zara's internal monologue.  
"For the moment? ...Yes" Zara said, picking her words.  
"You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to" Jess said, pulling Zara in for a big hug. "It's nice to have a friend here at Shield. In case you haven't noticed, they are in short supply around here" She said, gesturing at the straight laced types whizzing past in business suits. Zara chuckled and nodded, Jess was right.  
"Well you DID buy me cake..." Zara said, making them both laugh. She looked at her watch and there was a moment of panic when she realized how long they'd been talking.  
"Shit, gotta go. See you Monday?"  
"Yep, we're in with Grant Ward, will see you then" Jess said. "Don't forget, they've put us in AFTER Barnes' class, so we don't start till 12. Lets get there early and enjoy the view" She suggested, raising her brows suggestively. Zara giggled, oh if only she knew...  
  
Zara's phone beeped  
  
_Stark 4.05pm_  
_If you're not here in 3 minutes, I tell Barnes that you were out the front. Tick tock, Jones._  
  
She rolled her eyes.  
"Oh for fucks sake... Sorry Jess, my treat for cake next time. See you Monday!" She called as she turned and dashed down the hallway.  
"Cya Monday, Zee!"  
  
Zara slowed to a jog as she approached the lab doors and made it through them with all of 15 seconds to spare. She looked up to see Tony casually strutting around his lab, pressing buttons on a holographic screen.  
"You needed me?" She asked, breathless and stressed from the rush.  
"Yeah, pass me that tablet" He said, pointing across the room to the table.  
"You needed me to pass you a tablet?"  
"No, but while you're here, you may as well make yourself useful"  
"Tony, did you need me or not?" She asked, brow raised and a steely look of frustration on her face. Tony just smiled like the kid who got caught with the cookie jar. Zara groaned.  
"Then why make me rush down here from the foyer?"  
"You know why, Jones..." He said darkly, a brow raised.  
"Seriously, Stark!?"  
"Zara, you know the rules. You go out that door unaccompanied, unarmed and untrained, you're asking for trouble. Begging for it." He said, putting whatever device was in his hand down on the table as he turned to her.  
"Yeah, because the WHOLE WORLD wants me dead or captured, right?"  
"You obviously don't remember what happened last time you went out those doors, and that was WITH Robocop."  
Zara rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, her face sullen.  
"So what am I supposed to do? Sit up in my tower and wait to be rescued?" She said dramatically.  
"Was that a Rapunzel reference?"  
"Maybe..."  
Tony paused, looking her up and down.  
"Your hair's not long enough" He said, before turning away from her.  
  
Zara grit her teeth, seething as she turned to leave. She gave the lab doors a hard shove, making them slam against the walls, loudly. She stomped down the hallway, her finger just about going through the elevator button. The doors were taking too long to open so she tapped it until she heard a ding.  
  
_Empty... Thank god._  
  
She rode it to her floor, her mind running a million miles an hour. She knew Stark was only looking out for her, he had really stepped into that big brother role since Steve had been away. He didn't have to be such a smart-ass about it though... She let out a breath, her head feeling clearer already by the time the doors opened on her floor. She stepped out, adjusting her gym bag shoulder strap with a shrug as she went.  
She made it all the way to Bucky's room without being hassled by anyone. A hot shower was practically calling out to her. She fumbled with the key card and dropped the damn thing, swearing loudly as she suppressed the urge to kick the door down.  
"Drop something?" Came a voice beside her. Bucky bent to pick the card up, swiping it and unlocking the door. Zara strode in and dropped her gym bag in its spot in front of the wardrobe. When she turned, he was there in front of her, blocking her path.  
"What's got you all riled up?" He asked, stepping towards her. She let out a breath, hardly in the mood to talk.  
"Nothing, really. I'm just in a mood" She said, taking off her combat boots, one hand leaning against the wall for support.  
  
She stood and looked up at him, the obvious height difference making them both chuckle. She reached up and put her arms around his neck, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him. Bucky put his arms around her and held her tight, glad to see a smile back on her face,  
"And what exactly has put you in this bad mood?" He asked, cocking his head.  
"Lots of things. Tired, sick of keeping secrets, sick of being stuck in this goddamned building. Sick of feeling like every move I make is being watched... And my shoulders hurt." She pouted. Bucky smiled his sideways smile, understanding her frustrations. He slipped an arm under her legs and scooped her up and walked her into the bathroom, setting her down on the counter as he reached to turn the shower on.  
"Well I can help fix a couple of those things" He said.  
"I almost let it slip to Jess that we were together, today." She said, looking up at him as he tested the water with the back of his flesh hand.  
"I guess it won't matter in a few weeks" He said after a few moments. "Just gotta keep it quiet while you're training, or you won't blend in anymore..."  
"Well I already don't blend in. I'm picking it up too fast, and combinations I didn't even know I had keep coming out. I have to purposely fuck it up, and then other things I can't even get my head around. I'm half way between complete screw-up and prodigy. It's really frustrating!" She said, clenching her jaw.  
"Arms up" He said, pulling her top off over her head as she obeyed.  
"Think we could have some gym time this weekend? I really need your help getting my head around a few things" She asked, locking eyes with him.  
"Absolutely" He grinned.  
"Probably better to practice on a super soldier than a lab assistant." She chuckled. "Arms up" She pulled Bucky's shirt off over his head, tossing it into the corner with hers.  
"So you wanna take on a super soldier?" He said dangerously as he leaned in, cocking his head and narrowing his eyes. Zara bit her lip as her breathing quickened. She pushed his hair back off his face and let her lips crash into his. Her back hit the wall roughly as he leaned hungrily over her, deepening the kiss as his flesh hand grasped her waist. He pulled away, giving her a cheeky grin.  
"What's got YOU all riled up?" She asked between heaving breaths.  
"I have a gorgeous girl in my bathroom, in nothing but a sexy black bra and a pair of combat pants... And she's all mine. What do YOU think?" He said arching a brow, "I'm a lucky guy..."  
Zara giggled, hardly feeling like HE was the lucky one as her eyes drank in every inch of his body.  
"You know, we're wasting a perfectly good hot shower" She said, nodding to the steamy open door.  
"You're absolutely right" He agreed as he helped her from the counter and unbuckled his belt, looking up at her through his lashes as he did. Zara sighed and smiled, her bad mood now a thing of the past.  
"I think I'M the lucky one..." She said as she unbuttoned her pants.  
"Not a chance..."  
  
  
  



	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for the wait between chapters, have been studying my butt off lately! Hope you enjoy, thanks again for all the hits and new kudos on both of my fics. All your comments are lovely too! I'm still in disbelief that my little story has been read by so many of you! *blushes* You are all much too kind :)  
> Luv Kaytee xo

  
  
It was going to be a good day today. Zara could feel it. She'd had a great weekend with Bucky, gotten heaps of training done - what was supposed to be a couple of hours of gym time had turned into a full day and for the first time since she could remember, she'd slept like a log. Most of Sunday had been spent relaxing in front of the television, Bucky had dug up all her old favorite movies - which luckily for him were also his favorites. He was grateful for having an action/thriller girl over a soppy romantic one... Although if he was honest with himself, a little old-school romance was kinda nice. He'd threatened to take her dancing more times than he could count, the look of sheer terror in her face never got old, neither did the laughter it induced.  
  
Zara adjusted the duffel bag strap on her shoulder as she pulled the door to their room shut behind her, smiling to herself as she made the way down the hallway to the elevator. She was in such a good mood it didn't bother her that she didn't have it to herself, like it usually would have. She even gave a smile and nod to the guys in suits and was pleasantly surprised when they returned the gesture - maybe they weren't as horrible as she'd assumed?  
As she approached the training room door she could hear Bucky's booming voice giving instructions to his students, well, they sounded more like orders. Zara chuckled, his old military days came out in him in situations like these, he must have been quite a strong soldier on the field. She waited outside the door until he'd finished, not wanting to interrupt, and when he stopped talking she quietly pushed the door open. He looked up at her, the corner of his mouth turning up enough for her to notice and make her do the same.   
  
It didn't surprise her that Jess was already here. She'd found a waist-high stack of gym mats at the back of the room and sat herself on top of them like a queen on her throne. She waved to Zara and gestured enthusiastically for her to get her butt over there asap. Zara chuckled and walked back there as quick as she could, dropping her bag in its usual spot against the wall. Jess put her arm out to help her up and they scooted back so their backs were against the wall.  
"What's news, girlfriend?" Jess asked, a beaming smile on her face.  
"Absolutely nothing, had a relaxing weekend for once! How about you? Oh my god, how was your meeting!?"   
Jess chuckled, clearly far too excited to speak.  
"Meeting went GREAT!" She enthused. "I'm not gonna be an I.T tech anymore" She smiled.  
"What? You're moving?"  
"Yep, I start field agent training in the next intake."  
"Holy shit! Congratulations!" Zara said, giving her a big hug. "What prompted this?"  
"Well, I've been bored with I.T since, well, forever. When we started doing all of this stuff, I found I really enjoyed it. Then I heard that there was a dire shortage of field agents, so I set up a meeting."  
"Oh Jess, that's great. You're a natural, too! So when's the next intake?"  
"Thanks Zee, I don't know about being a natural, but I'll get there. They're not sure at this stage, they wanted to start us early, but the usual trainers are currently working with all of us now." She said, gesturing at Bucky and his group of students. "So they're gonna have to work it out. Either they take all the applicants and send us off to get started and regroup all the self-defence classes, or they wait the three weeks for it to finish. From what I gathered, I think they want to get us started as soon as possible."  
"Wow, I didn't know there was a 'dire' need for field agents?"  
"Yeah, well you just have to look at the Elites - Rogers has been out all this time, Barnes is here, and you don't even hear about Stark, Romanov or Banner. Who else is there?"  
"There's always Coulson's team?" Zara said, a brow arched.  
"Nope, they've been out for weeks." She shrugged. She looked over her shoulders, making sure nobody was listening in earshot before she leaned into Zara... "Think about it, there hasn't been a strike team since D.C, we have rookies that aren't even close to being ready, Romanov's team was ripped apart in the Hydra bombing... We're operating on a skeleton crew. They need to train up as many people as they can, and do it quick. That's half the reason Fury ordered for all of us non-combat members to train. We have to be able to protect ourselves, because nobody's gonna come running for a bunch of lab assistants..." She said darkly, her voice barely a whisper.   
  
Zara nodded, a dark cloud forming over her good mood as she realized that Jess was right.   
"There must be a reason for the massive influx of trainees... I wonder if we've been threatened?" Zara pondered aloud. She looked up at Bucky, and he held her gaze, reading the worry on her face before being distracted again by one of his students.  
"They wouldn't tell us if there was, even at our level..." Jess said, turning her head in time to notice Zara looking over at the class with a concerned look on her face.   
"What?" She asked.  
"I was just wondering if we had been threatened or not... And if we had been, do they know about it?" Zara said, focus in her eyes now gone. She shook her head and got her shit together, she'd have to speak to Bucky this afternoon. He'd be honest with her at least...  
  
"Miss Morgan" Came a voice that made them both jump. It was Grant Ward. Zara swallowed hard, wondering how much of that conversation he'd heard. She hoped he'd only just walked up...  
"Ward" She said, acknowledging him.   
"A word, please" He said, putting a hand out to help her down. Jess shot her a confused look, how in the hell did she know Ward? Zara let out a breath, taking his hand and jumping down from the pile of mats. He walked her to the corner of the room, out of earshot from anyone. Zara glanced over to Bucky who had stiffened up and was watching their every move from the corner of his eye.  
"What can I do for you?" Zara asked, half annoyed, half genuinely curious.  
"I've been meaning to come have a private chat with you." He said. She cocked an eyebrow, waiting to hear more. "I assume you didn't tell Barnes about our encounter, either that or he's being very civilized about it..." He said.  
"Is that a question?" She asked, getting her answer when he pursed his lips at her and let out an annoyed sigh. "No, I didn't tell him. He would have overreacted, you know what he's like... That and I like to think you didn't mean me any harm that day." She said with a shrug.  
"No, I didn't mean it at all. I really am sorry for what happened, Zara."  
"It's fine, it's fine" She said, waving it off. "And it's Zeejay while I'm here... The walls have ears."  
Ward gave her a smile and nodded.  
"I appreciate it" He said. "Now go sit down before a certain someone shoots laser death rays out of his eyes at me"  
Zara chuckled and made her way over to Jess, pulling herself up on the mats.  
  
"What was THAT all about?" She asked.  
"Long story" Zara laughed. "Bit of an inside joke"  
"How do you know Grant Ward well enough to have inside jokes with him?"  
"I know a lot of people around here... I'll tell you all about it soon" She smiled. Jess chuckled, not about to question the vault of secrets that was the pretty, black haired girl beside her. She wondered like always what had gone on with her, how could someone so friendly seem so closed off, so brave in the face, yet so scared in the eyes... How did she know Tony Stark and Grant Ward personally, and well enough to have a friend level re-pore with them? She knew better than to question, and she wasn't about to go snooping for information... All the same she'd look forward to the day when it would all be explained as promised.  
  
  
  
The class began with a recap of what they'd learned the week prior with Lance, and some new manoeuvres were introduced. Mostly how to block and deflect hits in a hand to hand combat situation. They were paired off, Zara being grateful that Jess had chosen her, and they'd run through the moves together.   
Much to Jess's delight, Barnes had stuck around to watch the class, pottering around in the gym, putting things away and doing odd jobs around the place. Zara had a hard time stifling her laughter every time Jess made 'swoon eyes'.   
"Sorry to burst your bubble, but you DO realize he's seeing someone?"  
"I know, I heard... I don't care though, he's so pretty. I'm allowed to look!"  
Their giggles didn't go unnoticed, and Ward was straight onto them, unamused by their antics. They were given a stern warning that they needed to focus. They both apologized and carried on with the class on their best behavior.  
  
"Did you see reaction on Barnes when Ward told us off?" Jess asked after the lesson.  
"No?" Zara questioned, raising a brow.  
"He turned and looked like he was about to kill him."  
"He always looks like he's about to kill someone" Zara joked.  
"No, seriously. I bet there's some bad blood there. If he hangs around tomorrow, which I think he will, keep an eye out" Jess said, giving a nod. "His body language went from relaxed to aggressive in a second. He looked like a dog that was ready to pounce, and then seconds later - back to being relaxed again... I can't believe you didn't notice" She said, earning a shrug from Zara.  
  
  
  
The following day, the lesson structure was much the same. This time Ward chose the pairs, and Zara was put together with a tall, dark haired guy around her age. Unfortunately for her it had been one of the guys that had given her a hard time the week prior. Zara groaned inwardly, as much as she'd really like to hand his ass to him, this guy was both bigger and stronger than her. Something deep down assured her that this didn't matter, but the logical side of her seemed to disagree.   
They were told to start sparring and much to her delight, Zara found that he was hesitant to hit her, probably because she was a girl she thought. This would either be incredibly awkward or incredibly funny. Most likely a bit of both...  
"Everybody stop!" Ward yelled out, bringing the class to a screeching halt. Zara let out a breath of relief.   
"Brad, why are you so afraid to hit her, she is your enemy." His voice boomed.   
  
_Oh Jesus, here we go..._  
  
Zara shot a look at her opponent. Ward had singled them out. This was bad. Brad looked at her with apologetic eyes and she gave him a nod of understanding.   
"Brad! I asked you a question..." Ward said, striding over to them. Zara instantly felt sorry for him, this was really unfair, even for someone who had called her names and laughed at her. Maybe this was karma coming back for him, but Zara still didn't like it.  
"I don't know about you, but I don't feel right swinging at a 115 pound girl." He said, keeping his voice low as if he was ashamed to admit it in front of his peers.  
"What if she had a gun in her hand and your life depended on it?" He asked.  
"That would be different then I guess."  
"Well, that's what this training is for. So start treating it as such. Zeejay, you're holding back too. Step it up." He said abrasively. She shot him an unappreciative look and looked back towards Brad.  
"Okay, fight!"  
  
Brad swung at her and she ducked, instinctively, landing a punch in his ribs, regretting it the second her knuckles made impact. It was the only way he was going to feel comfortable about this. He winced and she mouthed an 'I'm sorry' to him. He clenched his jaw.  
"Good. Again."  
Zara stepped in, swinging a punch, allowing him time to dodge. It was the only way to get Ward off their case. All she had to do was put on a show... Nobody needed to get hurt. She swung another, letting him block her, and she took a hard hit in the stomach, knocking her to the ground.   
  
_There. That should do it._  
  
The apologetic look had disappeared from Brad's face on hearing the cheers from his friends when Zara hit the deck. She wasn't sure if this pissed her off, or pleased her, but either way it was done now. Bucky was watching them like a hawk so she stood up, catching her breath again and wiped the dust from her ass. She turned to face Ward again, a hand casually resting on the site of the hit she'd taken.   
  
"Zeejay, I know you're better than that" He said, his voice holding frustration back.  
"Brad knocked me down fair and square -"  
"You're holding back, you need to step it up" He said, still pushing.  
"I'm doing my best." She countered.  
"I've seen your BEST and that's not even close"  
"Fine" She said flatly, shooting another look at Brad. Ward gave him a nod and they walked up close together once again. Obviously she hadn't made her point, and Ward had a chip on his shoulder.   
  
Brad stepped into her and took a swing which Zara ducked, then a second and a third in quick succession. Zara Dodged all three, using her small stature against him. He might have been bigger and stronger, but she was quicker and more agile. She sunk a fist into his ribs, harder than she meant to, making him grunt at the impact. She swept a leg under him, tripping him and he landed on his back with a thud.  
"Good!" Ward praised her. "That's exactly what I'm talking about!"  
  
Brad stood up, eager for round two. The gloves were off, so to speak. He looked pissed off and something inside Zara stirred. He intimidated her and suddenly she felt sick... She was frozen. She forced her body to move, deflecting his hits with her forearms, one after the other as if on autopilot. He sent a leg up, kicking her in the ribs, catching her off guard. She gasped at the impact, turning to face him in time for a stray punch to catch her in the jaw.   
Zara hit the ground, hard. She'd heard gasps from a few of them. She lifted her head, seeing the blurred faces of Jess and Kyle, both worried sick by the look of them.  
  
"That's enough!" Bucky called out angrily, jogging over. He glared at Brad who knew well enough to back right off. Ward swallowed hard, sensing an epic shit-storm. He crouched down to help Zara up, only for Bucky to shove him out of the way and help her to her feet himself. He steadied her, taking her face in his hands and looking into her eyes, trying to make her focus.  
"Zee? You still with me?" He whispered. She wobbled in his grip, making him clench his jaw angrily. He looked over his shoulder and made eye contact with Jess and Kyle before tearing his gaze away again.  
  
"Class dismissed" He said loudly, looking around the room. Nobody dared move and Ward looked like he was about to say something. Bucky glared at him.   
"I said class DISMISSED!" He repeated himself more assertively. Everyone shot into action, gathering their things to leave. It was amazing the power an angry super soldier had over a room. Bucky looked back over at Jess and Kyle.  
"NOT you two..." He said, making them stop in their tracks. They dared approach him and his expression softened. "Take her back to her room" He said. "Level 44, room 18. Stay with her till I get there. Don't talk to anyone. Don't look at anything. Don't touch anything."  
  
They both nodded wordlessly as he handed her over, putting one of her arms around each of them. He handed Jess a key-card which she slid into her pocket. Jess's mind raced. Zeejay Morgan LIVED in the building!? Barnes had her room key!? She had so many questions, and today looked like the day she was going to have many of them answered.  
  
"Go, now" He ordered them, his voice low and threatening. Jess nodded, looking over at Bucky who was having a stare down with Ward. The threatening voice had not been for them. Oh how she would have loved to stay and be a fly on the wall for THAT conversation...  
  
  
  
Jess and Kyle found the elevator, hit the button and made their way in, balancing a very limp and out of it Zara in their arms. Kyle entered the floor number and the doors closed with a 'ding' and it began to rise. He shot Jess a look, neither of them game to speak, but both thinking the same thing. There was another ding when the doors opened, presenting the infamous level 44. Home of the Elites. A level neither of them were supposed to ever get the chance to see. Jess swallowed hard and they made their way down the corridor, counting the room numbers as they went. They came to room 18, Jess fished the key-card from her pocket, swiped it, and sure enough the door clicked open.   
  
She shook her head. No way was this real... No way were they here under instruction from Bucky Barnes on level 44 of Stark tower... They closed the door behind them and sat Zara down on the bed.  
"I'll get a cold washcloth" Kyle said, nodding towards the bathroom.   
"Good thinking" Jess said, still stunned. The room was bigger than she had imagined. Very plain, no pictures on the wall, nothing sentimental. It hardly even looked lived in. The decor was ultra-modern and everything was spotlessly clean, save for a leather jacket hanging of the back of one of the dining chairs and a couple of coffee cups upside down on the side of the sink.   
She propped Zara up on the pillows and unlaced her combat boots, pulling them off one by one and putting them beside the bed. Kyle came back with a washcloth that he'd rinsed and wrung out. He folded it into quarters and lay it over her forehead and sat beside her, taking her hand.   
  
"Easy there, Romeo. She's attached" Jess said with a smirk. Kyle shot her a glare, and let out a sigh. "Get your butt up, this is best friend territory here"  
He stood without arguing and sat himself back down at the foot of the bed.  
"You okay honey?" Jess asked, rubbing Zara's hand. Zara turned to face her, squinting at her through blurry eyes. Jess smiled. "You'll be alright, just relax"  
"Wish I knew what was going on downstairs" Kyle said, after a few moments of silence. Jess chuckled.  
"I guess we'll soon find out..." She said, giving him a genuine smile. "Thanks for helping, by the way"  
Kyle gave her a kind smile and a nod back.   
  
They both jumped when the door opened. Bucky came through it, closing it behind him. He dropped her gym bag on the floor and made his way over. Jess and Kyle both stood, stepping out of the way as Bucky leaned over the bed to examine Zara's face. He traced his thumb along her jaw lightly, feeling for bumps or irregularities in the bone. Zara opened her eyes a little and Bucky smiled.  
  
There was a knock at the door which Kyle answered. A pretty young woman in a suit was at the door, smiling politely. Bucky looked up and then over at Jess and Kyle.  
"Thanks for your help" He said to them both. "Jennifer will walk you out"  
Kyle and Jess shot each other a look.  
"Oooooh no... I'm not leaving" Jess said, standing her ground. Kyle opened his mouth, but decided against arguing. Bucky glared at her and then back down to Zara.  
"She can stay" Zara croaked out. Bucky clenched his jaw but nodded, despite himself. Kyle smiled at the others and left with the woman in the suit. Bucky stood to get an aspirin out of Zara's cupboard and a bottle of water from the fridge. Zara sat up and took them, drinking a big mouthful of water before handing the bottle back to Bucky.   
  
Jess sat on the edge of the bed and looked at Zara.  
"So you live in the building, on level 44, and you know Bucky Barnes, huh?"  
  
Zara took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment as if suppressing the thumping headache that was threatening to overwhelm her. Bucky crossed his arms, waiting to see what she'd say. Jess looked over at him and then back to Zara. She pursed her lips, this was bound to be good...  
  
  
  



	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally another chapter for you guys, hope you're all going well. Thanks again for reading and enjoying my fic. I can't even put into words how happy it makes me to get notifications of a comment or kudos, you guys rock! <3  
> Luv Kaytee xoxo

  
  
Bucky clenched his jaw as he went over the possibilities in seconds. Being a quick thinker was something he'd had to learn from his time at Hydra. He'd had to calculate risk, and make decisions fast. He hadn't always liked those decisions, but ultimately he always made the right ones. When he weighed it up, Jess had proved to be a friend to Zara. Bucky's whole being was based on being able to read people, and he didn't get a single bad vibe from her, which was rare if he was honest with himself...  
  
Coulson had spoken to him and Tony about moving the Elite team to a new top secret Shield bunker, on suspicion of Hydra moles working their way into Shield's soft underbelly once again. This wasn't anything new, as long as he'd remembered it was how these things had always played out, and there was little hope of avoiding it. There were Shield agents doing the same in various Hydra bases while they still stood. Since the bombings of those bases, Hydra had gone underground so to speak, and had kept quiet. Quiet was not always a good thing. Quiet usually meant they were back building like a tornado waiting to drop.  
  
The rookies that were currently training at Stark tower had known Zara was back. There had been a huge fanfare on news of her arrival back in the building, and then they'd had to put her back under lock and key. Her pictures had been removed from the archives and those rookies had been put under a binding gag order following a threat that Shield had kept secret all this time. They weren't to talk about her, even to other Shield agents, and if they were caught even hinting at her or her story outside of the building, well, the consequences were pretty life changing to say the least. Zara hadn't suspected a thing, luckily, and that's how it would need to stay for now.  
It was decided that she would be moving to the bunker with the Elites and the Avengers where they'd be kept safe, and they'd start intensively training her up. If she could fight back she wouldn't be in nearly as much danger as she was now. Stark had plans to weapon her up, and had started designing all sorts of gadgets for her. If those sneaky bastards thought they could swoop in and take her while she was defenseless, they had another thing coming. That was as far as they'd gotten with planning anything, but for now they had to be careful with what information they had.  
  
This left Bucky with two options now that he faced Jess and her questions. Option 1 involved him spilling the beans. Jess would know that Zara was in fact Zara. Formerly assumed dead Shield agent, and brainwashed target to Hydra who must be protected at all costs... Option two was to keep her identity under wraps as planned, until she was able to protect herself, but this would mean expulsion from the programme. Trained Shield agents were not allowed to train in rookie classes - unfair advantage, never mind Shield agents who weren't completely in control of their minds and bodies...  
How could he trust an I.T assistant he didn't know with such a thing? Sure, Jess and Zara were friends, but trust was something that had to be earned, and it wasn't a question if she trusted her, it was his own doubtfulness that was the issue. They'd both learned that the hard way more than once.  
Jess was in training to become a field agent, he'd heard that much through the grape vine as he'd already been approached to train her and a crew of others. If Jess knew Zara's identity, this could be used against her out in the field... Plausible deniability was a powerful thing to have in one's arsenal, especially at a time like this.  
Bucky let out a sigh. He didn't know the red headed girl, but he knew she was important to Zara, and in his mind, this meant she deserved his protection as well. He wasn't about to knowingly start digging her grave.  
  
  
  
"Yes, we know each other" He said, placing an ice pack gently on Zara's jaw, shutting her up before she could speak. Her eyes looked up at him, hoping he knew what he was doing. He gave her a reassuring wink, and told her to hold the pack in place before he turned back around to face Jess.  
"Shield were involved in an incident some time ago. A top level classified incident. Rogers and I were down there to diffuse a situation. There was collateral damage, and innocents involved. After it all went down, we went looking for any survivors we could find. I pulled Zee out" He said, nodding over to her. "We brought her and a few others back here, and we've kept them safe ever since." He said, quite proud of his story-telling skills.  
Jess nodded, trying to think of any large-scale incidences that had taken place in the last year or two. Bucky saw her searching her mind for answers and cocked a sideways smile.  
  
"This one was kept off the archives and out of the news. Unless you're Fury, Coulson, the Elites or the Avengers, you wouldn't have heard of it" He said, a little smugly.  
"So that's why you haven't been allowed to talk about anything?"  
"That's right" Zara said, propping herself up now that the pain-killers had kicked in. She smiled at Bucky, he technically hadn't lied. He hadn't said the whole truth, but what he HAD said had all actually happened.  
"That also explains why you live in the building, and on this floor... Why do YOU have a key to her room?" Jess asked, cocking a brow at Bucky.  
"If something happens, and I need to get her out, I have access with my card. Which by the way, I'll need back" He said, putting his hand out.  
"And you guys are..." She raised her brows suggestively as she dropped the card in his hand.  
"Are what?" Bucky asked, a short, no nonsense tone in his voice.  
"You know... A couple?"  
Bucky blew a breath out and rolled his eyes, catching Jess's attention. Zara put her palm against her forehead in response of how awkward the question was.  
"Not that it's anyone's business, but I have a girlfriend if you must know" he clarified. Jess was a bit taken aback by his annoyed tone, but all those years of psyche training had kicked in, and she wasn't buying his response.  
"Is it Zeejay?" She asked. She noticed he stepped around her last question, he technically didn't lie but he'd deflected like a true pro. She watched his face for telltale signs of guilt that went hand in hand with lying. His expression didn't change. Either he had a great poker face or he was telling the truth.  
"No, I am NOT dating Zeejay Morgan" He said, not entirely sure he could be bothered being interrogated. Still, technically he hadn't lied. Zeejay Morgan was a fictional name...  
  
"Oh. Fair enough then. So where is said girlfriend?" Jess said, her expression softening and her tone friendly.  
"Again, not that it's any of your business, but she's away on a mission" Bucky said, letting out a sigh of exasperation. He had a bored look on his face, but he was trying to be tolerant and polite, that much was obvious.  
"She's a field agent?" Jess asked.  
"Yes..."  
"So how does she handle you being so protective of another girl?" Jess asked after a few moments of silence.  
"What kind of a question is that?"  
"A simple one"  
"I'm VERY protective of those I care about. Aren't you?" He said, cocking his head with a small smile crossing his lips, almost as if challenging her.  
"Of course I am-"  
"Then why would I stay in a relationship with someone who wasn't understanding of that? Never mind the fact that I was and still am for all intents and purposes a soldier..."  
"I guess you wouldn't, would you."  
"Well then, that was a stupid question wasn't it?" He said, the bored look still on his face. Jess grinned, she liked talking shop with someone who challenged her. She knew he'd be feisty if she pushed his buttons. Where most people would be intimidated by someone like him, Jess appreciated how straight up he was. He was smart, too. Smarter than she'd given him credit for. Her curiosity was piqued, now she wanted to meet this girlfriend.  
  
"There are no stupid questions, Barnes..." She said, giving him a smile which he returned.  
"I beg to differ."  
  
Bored, grumpy Bucky was gone, and playful banter Bucky was back again, a smirk remaining on his face. Relieved, Zara chuckled, pushing her hair back off her forehead. She let out a breath and took the pack off her face, tracing her fingertips down the side of her jaw where she'd been hit. She was sure it'd leave a bruise. Stupid pale skin.  
Bucky sat beside her, lifted her chin with metal fingertips, examining the site of the hit with a frown on his face. He pressed the hinge of her jaw with his flesh fingers, watching her for a reaction. His fingers traveling down to her under her ear and finally stopping at the site of the impact where she winced.  
"Leave the ice on, it'll stop the swelling. There's no fracture."  
Zara nodded and put the ice back on her jaw begrudgingly, managing a thankful smile which he returned.  
  
"Bodyguard AND doctor" Jess quipped, chuckling awkwardly.  
"I've broken quite a few jaws over the years... I know one when I see one" He said darkly, watching the color drain out of the pretty red-head's face. Bucky chuckled, messing with her was fun.  
  
"So when were you going to tell me all of this?" Jess asked, turning her attention back to Zara.  
"I wasn't supposed to say anything ever to be honest. I also wasn't banking on making a friend, so that kind of threw a spanner in the works" She shrugged.  
"Is there anything else to the story I should know?"  
"No" Bucky said, his tone short again.  
"That's all you need to know right now" Zara said, clarifying what Bucky meant in a more polite way. Jess nodded appreciatively, taking it all in.  
"So you were rescued by him in a big classified incident where people died. You live in Stark tower, you know the Elite team and Bucky Barnes is your bodyguard?" Jess said, going back over the long and short of it. Zara and Bucky both looked at each other, then back at Jess and nodded.  
"That's pretty much it" She said.  
  
_Only I'm a Hydra target now. After I died and my mind was wiped, I assassinated a bunch of people before I was rescued by Shield.. Oh yeah, and I'M the girlfriend that Bucky mentioned, and my real name is Zara Jones..._  
  
Jess let out a long breath as she considered all the information that had been laid out for her. There were plenty more questions she wanted to ask, but going by Bucky's expression, he wasn't going to answer any more cooperatively.  
"You really have been through a lot" Was all Jess could say, looking at her friend. Zara nodded appreciatively, giving Jess a smile.  
  
_That's only the tip of the iceberg, my friend..._  
  
Zara gave a yawn, wincing again at the pain in her jaw. She didn't remember ever being punched in the face before, but she was sure to make a mental note to avoid it again in the future.  
"Come on, Jess" Bucky said, "I'll walk you out"  
  
  
  
Jess and Bucky made their way down the corridor quietly. She noticed he wasn't as tense as he was before, his stride effortless and his expression relaxed.  
She'd felt bad for drilling him with questions, but that was what she did when she was nervous. She either babbled, or questioned EVERYTHING, which is why she'd taken up psychology straight out of high school. She loved analyzing people, picking them apart, trying to work out what made them tick. This was all well and good, but most people didn't like to be analyzed and picked apart, which is why she hadn't kept too many friends along the way. Being brutally honest wasn't helpful in her cause either, so when people weren't working out for her so well, that's when she'd discovered tech and computers. She could tinker and work out how they ticked, and nobody would get offended. She could close herself off in her little lab and go nuts, sometimes for days at a time, fueled by nothing but determination, curiosity and coffee. Lots of coffee.  
A stroke of pure luck landed her at Shield - a professor of hers had gotten her the job, saying they could do with a gifted technician, and she'd been a shoe-in. Being a HUGE fan of Tony Stark was a big attraction to the job, and she'd slotted straight in like a puzzle piece. Being the youngest tech in the lab had been hard initially, but the longer she worked there, the more respected she'd become by her colleagues. Still, nobody really spoke in the lab, it was always head down and work. When they'd been ordered to start defense training, she'd been thrilled to meet Zara, and even more so that they'd gotten along. It was nice to have a friend...  
  
  
  
"Sorry about before" Jess said out loud before they got to the elevator. Bucky turned to her, obviously no clue about what she was talking about, given the expression on his face.  
"You know, drilling you with questions... I was nervous. I babble when I'm nervous"  
"I know you were. Don't worry about it" He said, softening a little.  
"You knew?"  
"Could see it a mile off" He said, smiling a little now.  
"Really? Because I didn't think I was acting nervously, I-"  
"I can tell if you're even thinking nervous thoughts" Bucky said, playing with her again. It was too easy.  
"You can read thoughts?" She said, feeling the color drain from her face. Bucky laughed.  
"No, I can't read thoughts" He admitted. "Super senses amplify everything, and I was already good at reading people before" He shrugged.  
"Maybe you should try your hand at psychology, I have books I could give you, I don't read them anymore but you-"  
"You're doing it again..." He cut her off.  
"I'm sorry..."  
"It's fine. You just need to relax" He said, reaching over her shoulder to press the elevator button behind her, making her flinch at his proximity. He stifled a grin, trying his best not to laugh at her.  
"I'm sorry" She said, "Guess I've never been this close to someone who could rip my head off before"  
That was it for Bucky, he snorted and lost it laughing, much to Jess's confusion and offense. He let out a couple of coughs, as his laughter dwindled, wiping his eye with the back of his hand.  
"Glad I could amuse you..." She said dryly.  
"No, thanks for that. I needed a good laugh" He said, patting her on the shoulder as the door opened with a ding. "See you soon, Jess"  
  
  
  
Bucky headed back to Zara's room and walked her back to his, carrying her gym bag on his shoulder. He ran her a shower and put the ice pack back in his freezer, giving her time to bathe while he made a couple of phone calls and straightened the room up.  
Zara emerged from the bathroom dressed in her favorite sweats and a fitted t-shirt, still rubbing her wet hair with a towel. Bucky smiled at her, earning one back.  
"Feel better?" He asked as she walked over. She nodded bravely, leaning to pick a hair elastic off the bedside table. She looked up, startled that he was suddenly in front of her.  
"You don't have to pretend with me" He said, leaving a kiss on her forehead. She let out a breath and cocked a brow.  
"I'm not pretending, I am fine, I can take a hit. I'm tougher than you think I am"  
"Oh I know you're tough-"  
"Do you?!" She snapped unexpectedly, shoving the towel at him. Bucky frowned, not sure where her attitude was coming from. Tension rippled off her and she suddenly looked like she was about to either burst into tears or hit him. She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.  
"I'm sorry..." She said, backing off.  
"What's up with you?"  
"Nothing, it's fine."  
"Zara..." He reasoned. She shook her head and put her hands up, as if she'd had enough. She blew out a breath, turning to head towards the kitchenette, pulling her damp hair into a messy bun as she walked. She turned the coffee machine on, shaking her head as she collected the cups from the shelf.  
  
"How long have you known about the recruiting programme?" She asked out of the blue, her voice calm now.  
  
_Oh, so THIS was what that was all about..._  
  
"They put the call out for applicants weeks ago. I was approached to become a possible trainer yesterday" He answered honestly. Zara chewed the inside of her cheek and pinched her brows the way she always did when she was picking her words.  
"And you didn't tell me because it's too risky, right?"  
  
Bucky sighed as he ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back off his face.  
"Of course it's too risky." He said, skipping the sugar coated version that he'd started rehearsing in his head the second he'd been told about the programme. "It wasn't my call to keep it quiet, either."  
  
Zara nodded, a broken look on her face. It was strange for her not to argue, which bothered him. She let out a breath and leaned on the counter, opening her mouth to speak, only to change her mind and stay silent.  
  
"It won't always be like this, Zara. I promise." He said reassuringly as he walked over to stand in front of her, waiting for some sort of a response.  
"I hate this..." She said after a few moments of silence. "I really just... Hate it" She said, her voice croaking a little as if she was holding tears back. Bucky's heart broke a little. He pulled her in for a hug, her head resting on his chest and her breathing becoming labored.  
"Talk to me..." He prompted.  
"I'm working my ass off, and it's getting me nowhere, I'm no better off than I was months ago. Everyone is advancing around me, and I'm just... Stuck here in limbo." She said, bravely holding her tears back.  
"My only friend is going to be off fighting the good fight and I'm left behind, which is great for her, but then what have I got left? I'm left alone-"  
"You won't be alone, Zara"  
"Of course not, I'll have six thousand cameras watching my every move. Oh, and Jarvis as well. He's been closing doors in my face this week, did I tell you that? Stopping the elevator so I can only get to our floor and the training room floor - that was after Tony grilled me for walking Jess out to the lobby"  
"You were in the LOBBY?"  
"YES I was in the lobby! God forbid I walk a friend out. What, is it rigged with explosives or something? Let me guess, there are baddies outside who want to kill me?" She asked angrily, shoving him away from her and rolling her eyes,  
"Zara, you don't understand how dangerous things are at the moment-"  
"Of course I fucking don't! Because nobody tells me anything! They just herd me around the building like a cow, and monitor every single thing I do and say."  
"Some things are confidential-"  
"Oh how convenient! Everything's fucking confidential - apparently I'M fucking confidential!"  
"That was done for YOUR protection"  
"Well maybe I'm SICK of being protected! Sick of being protected, and sick of being watched... I'm sick of fucking everything, and I can't DO this anymore" She said, her voice faltering as the last word came out more like a sob than anything else.  
  
  
  
Bucky frowned, feeling incredibly guilty suddenly. It wasn't so long ago he'd been in her shoes, had people watching his every move... If anyone could sympathize with her, it was him. Hell, she'd been monitored since well before the Hydra bombing. No wonder she was feeling smothered.  
  
"Zara, all you need to know is that things are going on right now. Bad things." He said, relieved when she let him hold her again. "You can't fight me on this one, I need to keep you safe. At least until you can keep yourself safe. You have to trust me." He said. "It's a hard balancing act protecting someone, and trying not to make them hate you. Especially when it's someone you love."  
"I don't hate you at all, not one bit. I hate this shitty situation" She said, all her energy going into not letting herself cry. "I think I'd actually be lost without you and all you've done for me..."  
"I'll understand if you change your mind" He said. "I hated Steve when I came to Shield..."  
"You did?"  
"Yep. He was too cheerful, too pushy, always asking me how I was, and I mean ALWAYS... I just wanted to breathe, work things out myself. They had to lock me in containment when I started hurting people and having nightmares."  
"You still talk in your sleep"  
"So do you..." He said, "point is, I never wanted that for you. I didn't want you locked up, I didn't want you monitored. None of that was my call, ever. I didn't ever want to push you, or to be too overprotective. I guess I just didn't realize how hard it would be, stepping into the 'concerned loved one' role. Now I know how Steve must have felt..."  
He felt her nod against his chest and let a breath out, her body still tense and shaky.  
"What would you have done? If it was up to you, I mean..."  
  
Bucky pondered the question for a few moments.  
  
"I would have whisked you away. Somewhere safe and warm and let you take your time. Somewhere you could feel the sun on your skin, maybe near the ocean, or the countryside. We'd be off the grid, no phones, no tech. Just us" He said.  
"Let's go there" She said, daydreaming of tropical beaches, rolling hills and sunshine. "Even if we only ever just talk about it"  
"No, we'll go"  
"Promise?"  
"I promise. Just as soon as this storm blows over"  
  
Zara was too mentally exhausted to bother arguing anymore. Her headache was pounding even harder than it was before and all she wanted to do was rest. Whatever this big classified 'storm' was, would have to wait for now, she'd do whatever digging she could do. One of the current rookies would surely know, either that or she could ask someone like Ward. No doubt he'd have some sucking up to do after the events of this morning.  
She closed her eyes and exhaled, feeling Bucky press his lips to hers. The conversation was clearly over. For now.  
  
  



	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, a lil bit of action in this one, building up to a whole lot of action in the upcoming chapters. Hope you guys enjoy, thanks for all the hits, kudos and comments. I appreciate every single one of them :) Thanks so much for reading, hopefully will have another chapter up soon. Kaytee xoxo

  
  
Zara had gotten up the next day, and gone to Wards class without giving it a second thought. She'd covered up much of her bruise cleverly with a good concealer, and just for a extra bit of sass she swiped on a little red lipstick. She smiled as she made her way down the hallway and the first thing she noticed is that Bucky wasn't there, Parsons had taken over his class. Strange, he hadn't mentioned anything about a swap over this morning. The second thing she noticed is that Jess wasn't there either, and the crowd was significantly smaller. She pulled out her phone, there were no messages on there. She swallowed hard, this was weird. Really weird.  
  
Ward hurried into the gym, followed by Lance, and seemed to be filling him in on something as he went, Lance listening intently as instructions were drilled into him faster than he could process them as it seemed. Ward looked up at her, an expression on his face she couldn't read, obviously something had thrown him out of his routine. He wasn't the kind of guy who appreciated surprises. He covered it with a kind smile and a nod before he hurried back out of the room, picking his gym bag up as he went, breaking into a jog as he stepped into the hallway.  
  
"Lance!" Zara called out, after Ward left. "Murphy! Murph!" She called out, getting his attention eventually. He waved a hand at her subtly as if to say 'not now!' and turned away.  
She clenched her jaw and frowned, pulling her phone out and sending Bucky a text.  
  
_Zara, 11.42am_  
_Something's going on, where are you? Where is everybody?_  
  
She held onto the handset, waiting and hoping for a beep that didn't come. This made her nervous. Parson's class finished up and everyone left. Zara wasn't sure whether to take her bag with her and run or to hear Lance out as he made his way to the front of the class, with the four or five remaining students from her group. She made the decision to drop her gym bag and go with the group to the front of the front of the room.  
"Okay, you all know who I am - I'm taking over for Agent Ward today-"  
"Why?" Zara questioned out loud, cutting him off. Everyone turned to face her with a look of annoyance on their faces. Rude or not, she didn't particularly care. She wanted answers.  
"Change of plans..." He said.  
"Barnes is gone too, and half the class"  
"No-one to come save you!" Laughed the boy who'd punched her the day before. Lance shot him an angry look.  
"Well if you'd kindly shut up, I was getting to that, it's really not a big deal. Rookie training has started today, last minute decision from Director Fury... Very last minute..." He said. "So if you'll all start warming up, we'll get into it and will probably know more when the class is through."  
  
Zara didn't like it, and everything inside her screamed to bail, but she behaved herself and stayed put.  
  
_Bucky 12.04pm_  
_Everything's fine, Fury dragged us out to train Rookies, VERY last minute. Enjoy class, I'll call you later x_  
  
_Zara 12.05pm_  
_Take care, talk to you later xo_  
  
"Morgan - seriously?" Lance's voice pulled her back into reality. He was looking angrily at her, and it took her a few seconds to realize she'd been caught with her phone.  
"Shit, sorry!" She said, genuinely embarrassed.  
"In your bag, please..."  
She nodded and jogged over to her bag, slipping it into the side pocket. She'd over reacted, there wasn't any huge emergency. She scolded herself, if there was, surely they wouldn't still be running classes...  
  
_Idiot..._  
  
They warmed up and were told to pair off. That's when she realized that she was the only girl in the class. She shot Brad a look, and he smiled a sleazy smile at her as he rose from his spot on the floor and made his way over to her, much to the sniggering delight of the others.  
"What do ya say, sugar? Wanna have another go?" He purred at her.  
"Yeah sure, if you're game" She said back, flashing him a flirty half-cocked smile which he obviously appreciated. This little exchange obviously went unnoticed by the others as they were told to start some light sparring.  
Zara nodded at him, giving him the chance to have the first swing, gauging where he was at - was he going to play nice, or fight dirty? He swung three punches, one after the other. She ducked the first, blocked the second, and grabbed hold of his wrist on the third, sending her foot up, kicking him powerfully in the ribs. He let out a cough that was music to her ears. She kept her eye on him, not letting him surprise her again.  
He went again with a similar combination, Zara deflecting the first two. He wised up, grabbing her arm and pulling her in before she could kick him again. She sent her opposite elbow into his face, hard, at lightning speed, disorienting him. He stumbled backwards, Zara relentlessly striding towards him and pushing her foot into his chest, forcing him to the ground onto his back.  
"Hey! That's enough!" Lance called out, stepping in to separate them. He pushed her away gently and helped Brad to his feet.  
  
It became evident that they wouldn't be paired together again. They were swapped into new pairs, and Zara played nice with everyone else she was partnered with, all the while keeping one eye on Brad. Come the end of the class, she was proud to say she didn't take a single hit all afternoon. It was good to feel more confident and in control during hand to hand combat. There was no point to hiding what little ability she'd retained, just to appease the others. She was just about done with hiding who she was. Done with this whole class. All it was, was a distraction for her anyway, an excuse to work on her skills and make friends. She'd already done all of that...  
  
  
  
Zara made her way back to Bucky's room after class, noticing that it was especially quiet on their floor. She dropped her bag at the door, locking it behind her and turning her phone ringer back up, setting it on the side of the sink. Sure enough halfway through her shower it rang, and it was Bucky.  
"Hey, I can't talk long but I thought I should call."  
"Hey, are you alright, what's happening?"  
"We're not supposed to say much, but we've been taken out of town to train these rookies up. Fury called up and the first lot of us were ushered out this morning."  
"That's so weird"  
"Tell me about it. Sorry I couldn't call you, I had to drive into town to make THIS call as we had no service where we were. Anyway, I'll be here for the week, and you'll be brought here as well as soon as possible too"  
"What? Where are you?"  
"This line isn't secure, babe. Just sit tight, you're safe there. We'll be together in a few nights"  
"This makes no sense, why the rush to train with no notice, why the move? Are we in trouble?"  
"Zara, I can't say much. You're safe where you are, there are people I trust watching out for you. Don't do anything stupid. I'll call you tomorrow on a secure line."  
"Okay, please be careful"  
"Always am. I gotta go, I'll talk to you soon. Keep your eyes open, and remember what we've talked about. I love you"  
"I will... I love you too, Buck" She said before hanging up.  
  
Something didn't sit well with her, but now wasn't the time to jump to conclusions. She'd do what she was told and keep her eyes open. She'd sit tight and do what she was told. She stood holding her phone to her chest for a few moments, the steam in the room snapping her back into reality. She finished her shower, got dressed and tidied the room, her mind wandering. She didn't like the thought of being away from Bucky. She felt safe when he was around, but like she kept telling herself - it was time to step up and be brave.  
  
Her phone rang again loudly, snapping her out of her brain haze for the second time that afternoon. She ran across the room to answer it, this time it was Dr Reeves.  
"Zara?"  
"Hey Dr Reeves, what a surprise to hear from you!"  
"Yes, I need to see you in my office as soon as possible"  
"Oh, okay sure... Is everything alright?" Zara asked, picking up on her flustered tone.  
"Yes. Yes all is good, I was supposed to take some bloods from you as part of your recovery case, and I stupidly forgot. They're now overdue, and I look like an idiot..." She said. Zara frowned.  
"Can you come now?" Dr Reeves asked.  
"Yeah, I'm on my way" Zara said, drawing in a breath which she let out slowly after hanging up. Something wasn't right. She quickly sprayed on some deodorant and tucked a lip balm into her skinny jeans pocket as she headed for the door. She pulled on her Doc Martens, lacing them up fairly loosely. She stood up, only to stop as she put her hand on the door handle, that niggling feeling in her stomach making her turn around, her lip between her teeth. Zara jogged over to Bucky's side of the bed and reached under it. She took the pistol from its clip and tucked it down the back of her jeans. It was still noticeable even under her t-shirt. Everything she had was tight and fitted...  
  
_Fuck..._  
  
She pulled the wardrobe open, flicking through Bucky's shirts and pulling out a blue checked flannelette long sleeved shirt. She put it on, leaving the front open and rolling the sleeves up. It was huge on her and quite long at the back, but she'd get away with it being on almost like a light jacket. A small smile crossed her lips, the shirt smelled like him, and she found it oddly comforting. He must have worn it recently, she could pick that cologne anywhere.  
Most importantly the gun at the back was concealed. She wouldn't have a clue how to fire it, but something inside her screamed to have a weapon on her. Her instincts had never steered her wrong before, and she wasn't about to start ignoring them now. She blew out a nervous breath, and left the room, taking only her key card and phone with her.   
  
Zara walked into Dr Reeve's office, seeing a man's familiar face smiling back at her. He put his hand out, gesturing for her phone and key-card. She raised a brow, eyes darting over to Dr Reeves who had stepped in from the medical storage room.  
"Zara, do you remember me?" He asked, encouragingly. She frowned as she searched her brain. She KNEW this guy, she was absolutely sure of it.  
  
_Bingo._  
  
"Thomas. Dr Thomas Hall..." She said, her voice answering him before her brain had time to catch up. "Holy shit..."  
"It's great to see you again, Zara. I'm so glad you're looking healthy" He smiled. His hand was still out for her belongings, instead she decided to tuck them into the breast pocket of her shirt.  
"Dr Reeves here has been helping me train with Shield. I'm here as I'm very familiar with your history, and I'm going to be examining your bloods to compare them to where your levels were at back when you were with Hydra." He said, sending an involuntary shiver up her spine.  
"I'm going to need to take your phone and card for the moment. We're going to run a series of tests, and the electronics will disrupt them. You'll get them both back as soon as we're done" He smiled. She shot a look over to Dr Reeves who was smiling and co-operating, she obviously trusted this guy. Zara handed him her things, not breathing a word about the pistol down the back of her pants.  
  
"Thanks Zara. Please, take a seat and I'll be with you shortly" He smiled, gesturing at the reclining examination seat in the centre of the room.  
Dr Reeves was busy almost frantically making notes on her clipboard, her face screwed up in concentration, suddenly looking frustrated with herself. She let out a big dramatic sigh, catching both Zara and Thomas's attention.  
"What?" He asked, wondering what was going on.  
"I forgot to turn the blood reader on. It'll need to warm up. I'm so sorry Thomas, I don't know why I'm so forgetful today!" She said, hitting her palm against her forehead. He let out a frustrated sigh.  
"I'll go turn it on" He said, his jaw clenched.  
Zara shot them both a look. Something was very, very wrong. Everything inside her screamed to run.  
  
"Here, Zee. I'm finished with this magazine, feel free to have a read." She said, handing Zara a copy of 'Psychology Today'. Zara screwed her face up, wondering why the hell this would be something she'd be interested in.  
"Have a flick through, I need to prep some syringes. You'll have to check the table of contents for the page number, but there's an awesome article about retrograde amnesia that you'd be interested in. A young martial artist around your age, amazing stuff" She enthused.  
"Oh, okay..." Zara said, taking the magazine with an unsure smile.  
"Dr Reeves, can you come with me please, I have a few questions about the machine" Thomas asked politely.  
"Sure, no problem. We'll be right back, Zara. Have a read of that article, I want to know what you think about it when we get back, okay!" She said with a big smile.  
  
The two doctors left the room, closing the door behind them. Zara let out an exasperated sigh, her eyes taking in her surroundings. It was a cold, sterile room, full of gloves, instruments and various medical supplies. There was a fridge in the corner full of drugs and vaccines, and above it a tray full of paperwork. Zara looked at the cover of the magazine, Dr Reeves had been very excited about the damn article. She really should read it...  
Zara flipped it open to the contents page, her stomach dropping as she found a note taped there.  
  
_Zara, read this quickly and carefully. You don't have much time. Take my phone. Top draw far right. I have hidden my car keys in the door of the refrigerator. Take them and get out of the room. The door code to get out is 48296. Go to the nearest stairwell and go to basement car park level 2 Entry code is my car registration number - FSH2116. My car is a dark blue Chevrolet Impala, Parked in section H. Take it and head west. Get out of the city. More instructions for you are in this book, don't stop till you've crossed the state line. I have my own way out, but you're in danger. No time to loose, be quiet and fast, stay hidden. GO NOW! Don't speed or draw attention on the road. Good luck, Sal_  
  
_Holy shit... Holy shit..._  
  
Zara got up, and opened the fridge, finding the keys to the car in the door, and the mobile phone in the desk drawer as per the note. She quickly went to the door to the room, entering the code and hearing the door latch open. She closed it quietly behind her, and jogged up the hallway, her heart beating furiously in her chest. No way was this real... Bucky was away, she didn't know where, and he probably didn't know this was going on.  
  
_FUCK!_  
  
She came to the door of the stairwell and went down the stairs as instructed, thinking that whoever was after her was probably in control of cameras and elevators. There were no cameras in the stairwell, this was a well known fact among the elites and higher ups. Zara came to a door marked 'Car park basement level 2' and found the keypad next to it. She flipped the magazine open and entered in the registration code of the car, relief washing over her when the door opened. She pulled the pistol from her back pocket, wielding it as if she knew what she was doing. If anything it would deter an attacker.  
She scanned the pillars and found section H, and before long was in front of a lovely blue Impala, late SS model. She pressed the button on the keychain, relieved that the door opened. She got in, locked it behind her and pressed the clutch in and started the engine. How she knew what to do was completely lost on her, but the fact she'd remembered how to start up the car was a huge relief. She shifted into reverse and backed out slowly, clutch back in and shifting into first.  
  
_Good, we're in motion._  
  
Her arms and legs seemed to know what to do. Her driving wouldn't be pretty, but it would get her out. She pulled out of the car park, finding a pair of sunglasses on the dash which she slid on after she popped the collar on her flannelette shirt. She thanked her lucky stars the windows were tinted as she pulled out onto the road.  
  
_Where the hell is West?_  
  
She scanned the dashboard with her eyes, finding a GPS system, North, East, South and West marked out on the border of the screen. She flicked her indicator on, heading West and tried her best not to draw any attention to herself. She didn't dare make eye contact with another driver, and kept to the speed limit, following the signs till she got onto the highway. Relief flooded over her when she accelerated onto the on ramp. The traffic wasn't too bad considering the time of the afternoon, which she was incredibly grateful for.  
  
Zara didn't know whether she wanted to celebrate or cry when the first hour of her trip ticked by without incident. She kept her head down all the same, there just was no way this was really happening. She pinched herself. No, this was definitely real. She crossed the state line, but wasn't game to stop just yet. She opened the window just a crack to get some air onto her face, taking a deep breath of it. She couldn't remember the last time she felt fresh air in her lungs. Under different circumstances she might have enjoyed it, but not today. Not like this.  
She kept driving, watching the time tick away and the gas gauge drop further and further down towards the empty mark. It was only then that she decided to pull over and check the magazine for more instructions.  
  
_If you're reading this, then you got out safely. I think there's some cash in the glove box, use it to buy gas. If not, ditch the car and steal another one. It's insured. Don't use the phone, save the battery. I'll call you with instructions. On the back of this page are the directions to a safe house. It hasn't been lived in for many years, no electricity. Sorry. Sit tight for extraction or instructions. Sal._  
  
Zara opened the glove box, sure enough there was a twenty in there, and after a bit of digging she came up with another $8.50 in change. A glance at the phone revealed it to be at 32% battery which wasn't much, and she didn't know how long she'd be in hiding for. If she knew Bucky's number off the top of her head she would have been tempted to call him. No doubt he would have been of the first ones to be called... That's if Dr Reeves was still alive and able to make a call...  
Zara felt sick with worry as she started the engine once again. Now wasn't the time to get emotional. She needed a gas station, and to keep on driving.  
  
The station lit up the dark sky like a Christmas tree, Zara pulled in with caution, she'd be glad to be back on the road as soon as possible. The attendant was a sleazy, middle aged man, missing at least three teeth from what she could see. She stifled her vomit long enough to bat her eyes at him, and as well as the gas, he gave her a map of the area as she'd requested, a coke and a candy bar. She paid the man, pulling out of the station quickly, heading west.  
Another 2 hours had her arrive at some run down, rural border town and after a couple of laps of the street, she found the house and pulled in, hiding the car around the back.  
  
The old wooden veranda creaked under her feet as she approached the door, making the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. Zara looked over both shoulders before focusing on the task at hand - getting the door open. She picked the lock effortlessly, again surprised at how easily it came to her as if she'd done it a hundred times before. She pulled the pistol from the back of her pants and examined the side of it, finding the safety and flicking it off. Shaking, she held it in front of her and followed it into the dark house, a musty, damn smell hitting her like a slap in the face.  
She ignored it as best she could, checking each room systematically with her back to the wall, and gun in front of her with finger resting on the trigger.  
  
When she was satisfied she was alone she locked the front door again, used the bathroom and turned the tap on to splash her face. The pipes groaned loudly, making her shut them off prematurely. This was a nightmare. She hoped somebody knew where she was because there was no way she knew where Bucky or Jess were, and going back to Shield right now was out of the question.  
  
She lowered herself to the floor, back against the wall and drew her knees up. She was in the front room with a clear view of the front door, and a clear shot, should she need to take it. She rolled the sleeves of Bucky's shirt down, and wrapped herself in it for warmth. It was a waiting game now, she just hoped the right people were going to come through that door, it was anyone's guess who as on her tail and why, but she would find out soon enough. She glanced at the phone again, 9.21pm, and 23% battery.  
  
_Come on, RING!_  
  
She chewed the inside of her cheek and picked up the pistol, keeping it in her hand as she hugged her knees, keeping her eyes locked on that front door. It was going to be a long night...


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit, so many kudos added for my last chapter. Thank you all so much! This chapter is a long-ish one, but lots and lots of butt kicking and action. The time jumps around a bit, but easy to see whats going on and when, just bear with me, lol. It's funny how when you're backed into a corner you find out how tough you really are... Anyways thanks so much for all the support as always, brilliant writing motivation! -Luv Kaytee xoxo

  
  
It took the sound of wood creaking loudly for Zara to realize she'd drifted off. She was suddenly furious with herself. How could she be so careless? At least she still had the gun in her hand. She moved across the room quick as a flash, crouching low as she peered through the gap in the dusty curtains. There was only one car, and one man got out. She didn't recognize him, not that the dark of night was helping much. It definitely wasn't Bucky, that much she was 100% certain of. Her heart sank a little.  
  
There was more creaking as he slowly walked back down the veranda. Zara's heart skipped a beat as he approached the window she was on the other side of. She crouched low, her back hard up against the wall, saying a silent prayer that she wouldn't be seen. He cupped his hands either side of his eyes to peer in the window, his breath fogging up the glass just inches from the top of her head. She closed her eyes and dared not make a move or a sound, letting out a silent sigh of relief as he backed off and made his way to the front door.  
  
She squinted, trying to make out on the gun if the safety was off or on. She felt it with her thumb, giving up when the reality of the situation set in - she had no idea what she was feeling for. She couldn't remember shooting a gun ever, let alone having a clue what all the little switches were. She peered at the phone, shielding the light of the screen with her hand. No missed calls or messages. 3.14am, 16% battery, and two bars of service.  
Surely someone from Shield would have called or left a message, surely an extraction team would be just that - a team. There'd be a quin-jet, lights, soldiers... Bucky. Bucky would be there. She wished she could ask him what to do, she'd never been more nervous in her life.  
  
There was a metal-on-metal sound as a screwdriver or something of the like was used to jimmy the door open. She held the gun up, hands shaking as the door opened. The man tried the light switches and let out a sigh when the lights didn't come on. Zara held her breath, staying hidden in the shadows cast in the corner of the room, the tip of her gun following his every move. He searched the house, room for room, and just as she'd done earlier, and he made his way back into the living area. She hadn't had the time to make a run for it, and as much as she hated to admit it, she was scared stiff and her legs just didn't want to carry her out of there.  
  
_One guy... I can take one guy down... If he's a really, really crappy fighter..._  
  
Zara clenched her jaw, shaking the negative thoughts from her head as she watched him look around the room, maybe she could hide out, maybe he wouldn't see her.  
  
_Too late..._  
  
"Zara Jones... We've been looking for you."  
  
  
  
***Several hours earlier***  
Bucky let out a long breath as he peered into the foggy mirror. A long hot shower was just what he needed, but he still didn't feel as refreshed as he'd like. His eyes looked tired, and as much as he hated to admit it, he just wasn't relaxed without having her nearby. He would always worry about her, he couldn't help it.  
Being yanked out of the Shield building without having the chance to call her had been a real kick in the guts, never mind the fact that his whole routine had been thrown off. The whole thing was ridiculous, why the hell was Fury in such a rush that they had to move out to the base right then and there? He hadn't even had the time to pack a bag. It was such bullshit.  
Bucky shook his head at the thought of it. Fair enough, they'd been threatened, but if Shield ran away with their tail between their legs every time a threat was made, then their enemies had already won.  
  
He tied his hair back in a top knot and pulled on a fresh pair of jeans and a grey v neck t-shirt from the top of the basket he'd been given. He glanced at his phone, he thought of Zara and began dialling her number as he peered out the window. He put the handset to his ear, listening to it ring out and go to voicemail. He hung up awkwardly, not wanting to leave a message. He didn't bother trying her again, he figured she'd call him back when she saw the missed call. He wasn't about to start being one of THOSE boyfriends. She was probably in the shower or having a coffee knowing her, the thought suddenly making him want one.  
  
Bucky found himself strolling around the base, exploring it and taking in his surroundings. He gazed out the window into the night, taking a moment to glance at his phone. It had been over an hour since he had tried to call, and as much as he didn't want to admit it, it made him uncomfortable. He shoved the phone back into the pocket of his leather jacket and turned around to head back to his room when he was interrupted by the phone ringing.  
  
_Finally!_  
  
He frowned when the caller ID came up as Tony Stark, the two of them had a friendship that could only be described of as 'strained' at the best of times. He couldn't be bothered with the billionaire smart-ass, but it was unusual for him to call.  
"Barnes, it's Stark"  
"Yeah I saw. What's up?" Bucky answered.  
"Just wondering if you've heard from Zeejay?"  
Bucky rolled his eyes. It was a piss-take and he didn't find it funny in the slightest.  
"You're not funny, Stark" He said, taking the phone from his ear to hang up, when he heard Tony's muffled voice yelling for him not to hang up. Bucky clenched his jaw, if Stark was joking, he'd make him regret it.  
"Barnes this is serious. Something's happened, you need to get to a quin-jet now. Zara's gone, and people are dead."  
  
Bucky's heart took off at a million miles per hour, a hundred scenarios rushing through his head as he ran at super soldier speed to the hanger. Not having time to wait for the elevator he burst into the stairwell, jumping the railing and dropping the three stories to the ground, landing crouched on his feet. Still holding the phone in his hand he ran into the hanger, breaking the locked doors open with a big steel shoulder and a whole lot of momentum. The couple of crew members who were present got the fright of their lives, pulling weapons out, not sure what was going on.  
"Barnes, stand down!" Came the angry voice of the highest ranking member there, Bucky shooting him a threatening glare as he strode over to him.  
"There's been an incident at Shield, I need a jet" He said, reaching out to snatch the gun from the officer's hand at lightning speed. "And a gun"  
  
He pulled the door of the jet open and pulled himself into the cockpit, flicking switches overhead, the engines coming to life as he did.  
"You can't do that!" The officer yelled out, waving his hands all over the place.  
"Open the hanger door or I'll shoot it out" Is all Bucky said as he pulled the door of the quin-jet shut and buckled his seat-belt. He pointed the jet towards the door and it was opened for him. He initiated the stealth mode and with the flick of a few overhead controls the jet thrusters came to life and he was skyward.  
  
"Barnes, can you hear me?" Came Tony's voice over the loudspeaker in the quin-jet.  
"Yeah, what's happened, and where am I headed?"  
"Co-ordinates should be coming through now" He said. There was a couple of beeps and the screen in front of Bucky lit up, telling him he needed to turn the jet and head west. He threw the stick forward, heading towards their destination at top speed.  
"Got it. What's happened, is she okay!?"  
"From what we know, Zara got out. Reeves wasn't so lucky"  
"Fuck..." Bucky said, both anger and regret in his voice.  
"Hall was involved, he's been locked up, but we haven't had time to question him or review the footage from the other room just yet. We do know Reeves gave Zeejay her phone and her car keys, and told her to run, before she was shot. She's alive for now."  
"Who was shot!?"  
"Reeves. Pay attention"  
"And Zara, has anyone called her?"  
"No, I tapped into the phone's vitals, and the battery is too low. While it's on, I can track her, but when it goes flat, she goes off the grid." He said, stress showing in his voice. "We'd need to go down there either way-"  
"OKAY, Stark..." He said, cutting him off before he could continue, "Where is this place?"  
"Rural Pennsylvania, must be a farm or abandoned house. No internet or phone connection, and no power by the looks of it. Nothing I can tap into... Open the tail ramp, I should be coming up behind you."  
  
Bucky turned the stealth mode off and dropped the ramp, hearing a clunk of metal-on-metal over the roaring wind. He put the ramp back up after hearing the footsteps of the Iron Man suit behind him, and after a few robotic clicks and whirs, Tony was out of it, and sat beside him.  
"We should be there in about 25 minutes" He said, buckling himself in as he hit the stealth mode switch, making the jet invisible again. "I just hope we're quicker at tracking her than they are" He said darkly.  
  
  
  
***  
Zara pointed the gun at her assailant as he stepped into view. He smiled a sleazy, cocky smile, crossing his arms in front of him as he casually leaned himself against the dining table.  
"Who are you?" She asked, trying to will her hands not to tremble.  
"Me? Oh I'm a lot of things, a courier, a guard... A representative" He said, a hint of a French accent in his voice.  
"Of who!?" She demanded angrily, rising to her feet, keeping her gun aggressively pointed at him. He chuckled at her question and gave a shrug.  
"That, my dear, is a spoiler... And I would never spoil an ending."  
"What the FUCK do you want? Are you here to take me? Are you here to fight me, kill me? Because we may as well get this party started" She said, her finger anxiously hovering over the trigger. The tall dark haired man chuckled again.  
"You really are a pretty little thing" He said... "You have the most breathtaking blue eyes I've ever seen. I think I must be in love"  
  
Zara glared at him over the barrel of the gun, the Frenchman breaking into a chuckle, relishing in her discomfort. Men like this were used to getting what they wanted, and the only thing Zara was planning on giving him was a bullet between the eyes.  
  
"My apologies for being forward, but a lovely lady like yourself, you're not about to shoot an unarmed man."  
"Don't test me" She threatened. "Why are you here and who do you work for!?"  
"What do you want me to say, pussy cat? Do you want me to tell you I work for a division of Hydra? Do you want me to tell you that by this time tomorrow you'll be gutted like a pig on an operating table?"  
"What the fuck are you talking about?"  
"That precious serum flowing through that delicious body of yours... We need it back." He said, his voice going from sleazy to sinister to match that awful smile.  
Zara swallowed hard and clenched her jaw, hiding her terror as best she could.  
"Well the jokes on you, Frenchie. I've been tested, and I'm clear of it."  
"Of course you'd say that, my sweet."  
"I'm being serious. I was supposed to have a shot before the serum was given to me, and without it, the chemical was rendered useless and my body metabolized it. Sorry to disappoint you."  
  
The Frenchman laughed again, keeping himself poised as if he was a high class businessman.  
"Oh Zara, Zara, Zara. When will you learn? Serums are made of components, some of which stay in your body for a period of time. A period of time which is nearing expiry, which is why you are coming with us tonight."  
"That is utterly ridiculous"  
"My dear, even something as basic as cocaine or heroin can be found in the follicles of your hair for at least three months. Just imagine what we can find in you if we... Dig a little deeper..."  
"I've been tested over and over, and OVER again by the best Shield scientists in the world. I have no super strength or senses." She said with a shrug. "I think you've been sent on a wild goose chase" She said, amused now.  
"We have other information..."  
"You clearly don't know what you're talking about, or your whole organization is hanging onto false hope" She shrugged, amusement creeping onto her face and a chuckle escaping.  
  
Her assailant screwed up his face, somewhat unappreciative of her light-heartedness and stood up from the table and stepped towards her. During the course of the conversation Zara had been scanning the room, finding as many exit points as she could. 'Survey your surroundings' Bucky's voice had nagged her, 'don't stop scanning for threats or exits, ever.'  
"Take another step and I shoot" She threatened, her voice aggressive.  
"You're not going to shoot me, baby"  
  
Zara pulled the trigger. *click*  
  
_Fuck!_  
  
*click, click, click*  
  
Her eyes darted up to the Frenchman, and she braced for him to pounce on her. Instead he exploded into laughter, making her angry again.  
"You need to pull the hammer back before you shoot" He said in a condescending tone, pointing at the back of the gun. He pulled his own pistol out, turning it to show her. Her heart began to race.  
She pulled the hammer back and pulled the trigger again.  
  
*Click*  
  
"Oh, my dear you have forgotten how to protect yourself... Now do you understand why we came after you, and not your precious Sergeant Barnes or Captain Rogers?"  
  
Zara was getting ready to hurl the gun at him, she'd never been so angry in her life. She COULD protect herself... She frowned, it was just that she'd forgotten HOW to for the moment. She cursed under her breath and shook the thoughts out of her head.  
  
"You can't take Barnes or Rogers, they'd overpower you in a second."  
"I suppose you're right, then again, we take one and the rest will come, and we don't want that now, do we?"  
"And what do you think will happen if you take me?"  
"Barnes is quite taken by you, no? I'm sure my superiors would like to break his heart into a million pieces again, it WAS entertaining to watch him grieve the last time. I wonder how he will handle it a second time..."  
Zara cast her eyes around the room again, she was cornered with a pistol that wouldn't shoot, and a cocky 6'3 Frenchman with an attitude. Well, an attitude, a gun and a screwdriver... God only knows what else. She looked back down at her gun, and felt a light bulb go off in her brain.  
"Simple, we gut you, leave him your remains to cry over and go underground while we develop our own super soldiers"  
"And then they take you out again. Haven't you learned anything from these past few months?"  
"We've learned more than I care to let on, my sweet."  
"Then why are you telling me this? You're not supposed to give your master plan away, you know"  
"I'm afraid I've been stalling you, my dear" He said, cocking a smile as his eyes glanced out the window momentarily.  
  
Zara found the safety on the gun, thumbed it off, pointed it and fired it. She didn't take into account that Bucky would have the most stupidly powerful handgun in the known universe, the recoil pushing her into the wall behind her. She stumbled back to her feet, looking back up at him. She'd missed by a country mile.  
  
_Fucking hell!_  
  
He lunged at her, hitting the ground hard when she dodged him. She picked her pistol back up and swung around, pulling the trigger and missing him a second time. To her horror he was back on his feet in a split second, a punch connecting with her cheekbone and a knee going up into her stomach making her gasp. He grabbed her aggressively and stood her upright, only for her to grit her teeth, going back in with an aggressive punch combo, sending an uppercut under his chin making him bite his tongue.  
He roared with pain, his hand shooting to his face as he stumbled backward. Zara wasted no time running at him with all the power she could muster, tackling him over a wooden dining chair and breaking it.  
She dropped a knee into his crotch and hit him hard in the temple with the butt of the pistol she was still holding, disorientating him. She spat a mouthful of blood out and stood up, snapping the broken leg off the wooden chair and taking a moment to get her bearings back together. She'd smack him over the head with it as soon as the room stopped spinning...  
Zara gasped, dropping the chair leg when his hand went to his hip and he pulled out a pistol. Zara panicked an pulled hers out, saying a silent prayer that she wouldn't stuff this up. She aimed low enough that the recoil sent the bullet upwards, hitting him in the throat. It was a terrible shot, but it was enough to do the job.  
  
There was a desperate, sickening gurgling sound as he took his final breaths, and then silence. She checked him over after a few seconds, to find he was most definitely dead. She found a phone and a wallet on him, taking both. She took his pistol and checked him over, finding a switchblade on him as well which she tucked into her boot.  
She stood up, the blood from the Frenchman pooling around her feet. She felt like she was going to be sick. Zara turned and ran from the room, unlocking the door and leaving the house as quickly as she could. She ran down the veranda, going through a muddy puddle on purpose to splash the blood off her shoes in case she was stopped by police. No doubt her fingerprints were everywhere.  
  
Zara put her foot on the clutch and started the Impala back up again and pulled out of the driveway as fast as she could go. Her heart raced as she flew down the freeway, slowing down when she saw other cars on the road. She mustn't draw attention.  
  
_Don't get pulled over..._  
  
She drove for a good 40 minutes before she had the courage to pull Frenchie's phone from her pocket, suddenly realizing that she may be being tracked...  
  
_Just one call..._  
  
She dialed the one number she knew. The one she'd seen plastered onto letterheads, business cards and pretty much every document she'd seen while running errands for Stark and Coulson.  
"Hello you've reached Stark Tower-"  
"HELLO!?"  
"Business hours are from 9-5 Mondays through to Fridays-"  
"ARGH FUCK IT!!!!"  
"Please leave a message and we'll return your call at our earliest convenience... *beeeeeep*"  
"It's Zara. I'm alive, I'm on the road, I'll try back again tomorrow..." She said, hanging up and hurling the phone across the car angrily. She cursed loudly, feeling absolutely helpless.  
  
The car came to a screeching halt as she pulled over, feeling like she was about to have a panic attack. She shook her head, pleading with her body not to do this to her, catching a glance at the Frenchman's phone on the floor. She took a deep breath, exhaling slowly as she undid her seatbelt to pick it up again, opening it and flicking through the texts for anything of interest. There was a girl he'd been sending smutty messages to, and a few messages sent in another language - she could only assume they were in French. She had a quick flick through the contacts, dialling the voicemail number and listening to a couple of messages, the third one piquing her interest.  
  
'Find the girl, and bring her in. Deadline is by Thursday. Either she dies or you do'  
  
Zara frowned, skipping to the next message.  
'A reminder that you are on a deadline. Get the girl to us alive by Thursday. Remember what we told you - she is useless to us after then. Thursday night or there will be consequences.'  
  
What the hell!? Was all that shit about an expiration date true? She'd been injected MONTHS ago in the captivity of Hydra, there was no way in hell that whatever they'd injected her with was still in there, and about to expire in the next 72 hours. They'd tested her... If there was anything in there, she would have been put under lock and key.  
  
_Oh my god..._  
  
Zara felt the color drain out of her face as the bile rose up in her throat. A hand covered her mouth as she held down the vomit that was threatening to rise. If Shield knew, they'd done a damn good job at keeping that one a secret... She wondered if Bucky knew. No, this was ridiculous. Hydra didn't know what they were talking about. It was probably just some stupid false hope they were hanging onto as if they had nothing else. Was she the be-all and end-all of their organization? No, that was ridiculous too. Surely Dr Reeves would have said something if she DID have serum or 'chemical components' in her as Frenchie had said. Unless it was confidential. But then why wouldn't they just TELL her? She would have happily hidden out if that was the case. Did Shield not trust her?  
Either way, Hydra were pretty damn convinced it was true, and the fact of the matter was that they were after her - well, until Thursday night apparently.  
Zara glanced at the calendar on the phone, it was Tuesday night... Well, technically Wednesday morning even though the sun wasn't up yet. She just had to become invisible for a couple of days. That's all. Hiding was easy enough wasn't it?  
  
_What if they don't find me and I become a revenge kill? What if... What if..._  
  
She slowed her breathing and grit her teeth, crying wouldn't fix anything. She glanced down at the phone in her hand. If they knew Frenchie was dead, and his phone stolen, it wouldn't be hard to guess who had it, and it would be easy to track.  
Zara started the car back up again and put her foot down hard, changing gears aggressively making all 8 cylinders of the engine roar. She pressed the window button, and threw the phone out of the car onto the road, watching it smash into a million pieces in her rear-vision mirror. She was on the move again, she just needed direction now.  
  
_Where the fuck am I and where the fuck should I go? Argh, just drive, just keep driving and find somewhere to lay low. You'll need a fresh car tomorrow, and you'll need to call Shield again after 9..._  
  
She let out an exasperated breath. Where was she going to go at 4.30 in the morning!?  
  
  
  
***  
Bucky landed the quin-jet in the paddock beside the house, the first thing he noticed was a set of fresh tyre tracks in the driveway. Someone had left in a big hurry.  
Both men got out of the jet, Bucky jogging up the steps onto the wooden veranda only to stop in his tracks on noticing the bloody footprints. Small, round-toed boots that were hers without a doubt. He followed the prints around to the back of the house where they disappeared and were replaced with heavy tyre tracks. Part of him was furious that they'd missed her, while the other part was glad she'd gotten out. He hurried back around to the front of the house, calling out to Tony that she was gone, and to track her phone again. Closer inspection of the bloody footprints revealed that they'd been sitting there long enough to partially dry, so wherever she was, she was long gone.  
  
Bucky suppressed his million feelings - ranging from guilt, to sadness to rage - and approached the front door, noticing it was half open. He pulled his pistol from the back of his pants and held it up, following it in, brow cocked and jaw set. He carefully stepped in, scanning the room with his eyes and saw the body of the Frenchman on the ground. He picked up a bullet shell and examined it, looking up at Tony as he stepped into the house.  
"That's my girl" Bucky said, a hint of pride in his voice.  
"What?"  
"She's got my gun with her" Bucky said, earning a nod from Stark.  
"She sure made a mess of him..."  
"She struggled" Bucky said, frowning. "Look at the wall, compared to where I found the shell. That's from recoil, she lost her balance which can mean anything from exhaustion, or that she's been hurt" He said, pointing to the blood spat on the floor beside the broken chair.  
"Guns like yours aren't designed to be fired by little 115 pound girls" Tony pointed out, Bucky giving him a look to let him know his comments weren't helping.  
"Hey, at least she took the guy out" Tony added, holding up his Smartphone, to find the strongest signal he could.  
"Three shots for one hit..." Bucky murmured, worry in his voice as he ran his hand over the broken plaster on the wall, closing his eyes as if to relive the fight in his head.  
  
There was a beep from Tony's Smartphone which snapped Bucky back into reality. He looked up at Tony who had a satisfied grin on his face.  
"Got her!"


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thought I'd upload a new chapter for you guys, it's a longish one but lots of action so hopefully you enjoy it :) -Kaytee xoxo

  
  
Zara glanced over her shoulder as she made her way through the small, country town shopping center. She popped her collar and tugged the strap of the stolen back pack up higher onto her shoulder, wondering to herself if the car had been towed yet. She'd double parked it, hoping it'd be impounded. Reeves would be notified, and the car would be locked away safe. It was the least she could do after being given a safe way out of the building.  
She bummed some loose change to make a phone call off an old lady who looked at her scruffy disheveled appearance with sympathy. She must have thought Zara was homeless. As it were, that wasn't too far from the truth right now.  
Zara put the change in the payphone and dialed Stark Tower's number again. It was after 9, she just hoped it wasn't an automated answering service.  
  
"Stark Industries, how can I transfer you?" Came the polished voice of a female employee.  
"Tony Stark please, or Phil Coulson-" She was cut off by a rude giggle on the other end.  
"Sorry, I can't put you through to either without an appointment, and I can't set you up an appointment without approval first"  
"This is an emergency, I'm a personal friend of them both and I'm in trouble!" She said urgently, keeping her voice as hushed as possible as to not draw attention.  
"If that's the case, you should call their personal numbers-"  
"I don't HAVE their personal numbers, this is an emergency!"  
"You need to call 911 if you're having an emergency, not the Stark tower reception desk"  
"No, I need Stark, Coulson, Bucky Barnes-"  
"I'm sorry, I CAN'T give out their personal numbers. If you'd like to leave your details, I'll get an assistant to get in touch with you as soon as possible."  
"No, you're not listening to me! My name is Zara Jones, I live on level 44 of the tower - look it up - I'm Bucky Barnes' girlfriend-"  
"Oh that's original-"  
"Put me through to Stark, Coulson or Bucky Barnes, right NOW!" Zara demanded, looking over her shoulders again, paranoia setting in.  
"Hello? Hello!?"  
The phone went dead and the change from the phone dropped into the coin shoot.  
  
_Stupid fucking bitch!!!_  
  
She cursed angrily and slammed the phone down harder than she meant to, immediately regretting it when several heads turned in her direction. Zara popped her collar and lowered her head and she hurried off.  
  
  
She got a bottle of water and a bag of pretzels from the vending machine on the way out to the car park, she'd need to eat if she was to keep her strength up. Right now she needed her wits about her, everywhere she looked there were men and women in suits, some wearing sunglasses, some not. Lots of people with mobile phones and of course there were surveillance cameras everywhere. She scolded herself, it was a mistake to come here, she had to keep moving. Anywhere would do, anywhere but Manhattan.  
  
  
  
Zara walked fast, head down into the car park, scoping it out for something old that she could break into and steal. Her eyes locked onto a late 80's model Dodge sedan. She looked over both shoulders, backing up to the rear driver's side window as she took the flannelette shirt off, quickly wrapping her arm in it before smashing the window with her elbow.  
She reached in through the broken glass unlocked the driver's door and got in. She peered under the steering column, knowing where to look, and hoping like mad that she remembered what to do when she found it. Bucky and her had watched enough action movies that she'd have a rough idea what to do. It was easy enough to pull the panel out from under the steering wheel, and find the wire she needed.  
Zara pulled her switchblade out of her boot, cut it and stripped it. She touched the two together and a couple of sparks later the engine roared to life.  
"Yes!"  
She tucked the live ends behind the plastic under the steering column, and pulled out, thanking her lucky stars that the car park was fairly deserted and she'd gotten out without being chased or shot. She was back on the freeway again before long, glad to be alone again but not really sure where she was going.  
  
  
  
Zara glanced at the clock on the dashboard, it suddenly dawning on her that the time displayed would have to have been very out of whack. She'd been driving for at least a couple of hours, and exhaustion was catching up with her. That and she needed to pee. She pulled into a town she didn't recognize, nothing fancy but a bit more densely housed than the last. There were rows of shops, restaurants and bars on the street she was driving down, but it was noticeably fairly quiet with not many people out.  
She wasn't sure if this would be a blessing or a curse. Either way she couldn't keep driving aimlessly across the country, she was practically dead on her feet as it was. Zara did a lap of the town, finding a rundown looking hotel. It wasn't the Sheridan, but it'd do. She ditched the car a couple of streets away in case she'd been followed and walked into the lobby and rang the bell nervously, looking over her shoulders. An older looking man approached the desk and looked her up and down, a frown on his face.  
  
"Can I help you, Miss?"  
"Yes, I'll take a single room please, how much per night?" She asked, unzipping her backpack.  
  
He looked at her again, eyebrow cocked as he made up his mind what kind of a person she was.  
  
"This is a family owned motel" He said, looking at her, watching for a reaction. Zara frowned, not sure what his problem was.  
"And it's lovely" She lied, looking around at the dated orange and brown decor with a believable smile on her face.  
"We don't want any trouble here, we're good Christians and won't tolerate drug use, violence or working girls in our establishment"  
  
_What!?_  
  
"That's a relief" She smiled, getting the connection with his concerns and her unkempt appearance. "because that's just the kind of thing I want to stay far, far away from."  
The man frowned again, obviously she was not the kind of person they were happy to accommodate.  
"I'll need to see your I.D and take your credit card number" He said.  
  
_Fuck..._  
  
Zara bit her lip, there was just one more thing for it. She turned on the waterworks, looking away from the man, hands over her face.  
"I'm sorry, I don't have either. I have cash, but no cards." She sobbed, pulling a wad of cash from the front pocket of her back pack. The man wasn't buying her act.  
"My husband beat me up... I had to run, I had no choice. I haven't slept in two days, or had a meal or a shower. I have nowhere to go" She cried, watching his face soften.  
"I'm sorry I bothered you, I'll go elsewhere" She said, pushing her hair back off her face, intentionally revealing a bruised cheekbone and blood in her hair. She turned to leave, stifling a smile when he called out to her.  
  
"Wait!"  
Zara turned around, putting her damsel in distress face back on.  
"Have you reported him to the police?"  
"Yes, they're looking for him now. He's already skipped court, they told me to go stay with family in the meantime. Problem is I don't have any family" She said, letting her lip tremble again. She was a better actress than she'd given herself credit for, and it had obviously paid off when the man let out a defeated sigh.  
"Look, we don't usually get involved in these things, but you can stay. I can't turn away a soul in need."  
"Oh thank you so much, sir. I'll pay double the rate to make it worth your while, I have the money, I just need a shower and a couple of hours to sleep safely."  
  
He waved his hand at her.  
"You'll do no such thing." He said, walking behind the counter and taking a key from the case behind him. "Room 17"  
"I can't thank you enough, really."  
"Don't mention it, just promise me you'll help someone else as soon as you get the chance."  
"I will. I promise" She said, making her way to the stairs. She made a mental note to take a business card, Shield would be grateful that she'd been looked after and they'd be more than happy to compensate this man for his kindness.  
  
  
  
Zara unlocked the door, stepping into the room. There was an overwhelming smell of mothballs that hit her like a slap in the face, but other than that the room was clean, and it had a bathroom. She pushed the window open, letting some fresh air in and opened her backpack, spilling the contents onto the bed. There were a couple of school books which she was quick to discard, a wallet without any money inside, the Frenchman's still loaded pistol, and of course her pretzels and water. She examined the gun, it was much lighter to handle than Bucky's was, and still had 8 bullets in it.  
She tucked it all back into the bag, keeping the pistol on her as she peered around the room, the bathroom door catching her eye.  
  
_A hot shower sure would be nice..._  
  
Zara felt like she was going to cry with relief when the hot water hit her shoulders. She opened up the complimentary shampoo and conditioner, watching the water turn red as she rinsed the blood from her hair. She lathered herself up in the tiny pre-wrapped bar of soap, grateful for the chance to bathe and brush her teeth. She was as quick as she could be, not knowing how long she'd have before her steps were traced. ****  
  
She wrapped herself in a towel as she hand washed her t-shirt, Bucky's flannelette, and the underwear she'd been wearing in the sink, drying them off with the blow drier, and tucking the tiny soaps and shampoo bottles into her back pack.  
The feeling of being in fresh clean clothes was pure heaven after the past 24 hours she'd endured, not to mention how much more inconspicuous she'd be, now that her clothes weren't covered in dirt and blood spatters. Zara tied her hair back in a messy bun, her bangs not co-operating as they fell straight out, framing her face. She let out a breath, pushing the loose hair back off her face, she had bigger problems to worry about now. She made her way to the little writing desk in the corner of the room, taking a notepad and a pencil with her back to the bed where she sat herself down.  
  
"Okay..." She said to herself as she opened Reeve's phone. 3% battery left, it wasn't going to last long enough to be of any use, and once it was dead, there was no tracking it. Zara frowned in annoyance, why'd Reeves insist on using one of Tony's prototype phones. Nobody had chargers to fit these stupid things yet...  
She got her pad and a pencil at the ready.  
  
_Here we go..._  
  
She opened the contact list, going straight to B for Barnes. No number. S for Stark. No number. She cursed loudly. This was going to kill the battery for nothing. She scrolled down to check the C's for Coulson, her eyes catching another familiar name as she went. Rogers. She let out a sigh of relief as she hurriedly started to jot the number down.  
  
"No!!" She cried as it went flat. "Fucking piece of SHIT!"  
  
She looked down at the notepad, she was short by three numbers. Zara clenched her jaw, yet another setback she didn't need. She shoved the notepad and dead phone into her bag, pushing her bangs back off her face again. There was no way she could go through and try every possible combination of numbers to guess Steve's number. Not to mention she now didn't have a phone, and she didn't have the money or time to stand at a payphone playing lucky guess.  
  
_At least they can't track me now... Then again, either can Stark... Well he could probably track me to my last known location which is here... But then again so can Hydra... FUCKING SHUT UP, BRAIN!_  
  
She paced back and forth, the stress eating her up.  
  
_No, don't do this to yourself. There's nothing you can do about anything right now. Have something to eat, and rest. You're no good to yourself tired and hungry. You have your gun if anything happens._  
  
She nodded, agreeing with the nagging voice in her head. She let out a breath as she pulled the pretzel packet open and took a handful as she closed the blinds, the room becoming considerably dimmer than it was. She kept her bag close, hugging it to her body, her gun in her hand as she lay on the bed. Even if she didn't sleep, she desperately needed the rest. She let out a sigh that could only be described as relief as her head hit the pillow, her eyelids growing heavy.  
Part of her wanted to fight the sleep off. She was her own protector now. Paranoia set in, followed by anger at her situation. Anyone coming through that door was getting a bullet. No more miss nice girl.  
  
  
  
"What do you mean we lost the signal!?" Bucky demanded angrily.  
"Exactly what it sounds like, Barnes. The signal is gone. The phone is dead." He snapped back, equally as frustrated as he frantically swiped at his tablet screen.  
"FIND her, Stark..."  
Tony shot him a look that could only be described as annoyance, he'd taken offense to Bucky underestimating his tech genius. He rolled his eyes as his fingers moved over the screen of the tablet quickly.  
"Well, so long as she doesn't go anywhere, we have her last known location. So we can start there. Wherever she's gone, we can catch up with her easily in a quin-jet if she's only in a car."  
He jumped when his phone rang, the expression of his face dropping on receiving some news from Nick Fury. Bucky was still glaring at him, as if demanding to know what was being said. Tony turned to look away, ignoring him again, letting out a frustrated breath as he hung up from the call.  
  
"Shit!" Tony cursed, thumping a fist against the dashboard, angrily.  
"What!?" Bucky demanded, impatiently waiting for Tony to explain his little outburst. Tony frowned, letting out a long breath as he pinched the bridge of his nose, frustrated.  
"We gotta go back. Something big's going down"  
"We're NOT going home without her" he said firmly, with his 'I mean business' face on.  
"Sorry big guy, those are Fury's orders. There's not gonna be a home to go to if we don't go." Tony said, hitting a few buttons, the steering column in front of him moving as it came to life, overriding Bucky's controls.  
"Forget it Stark, nothing's more important than getting her home safe!" He said as he unbuckled his seat belt.  
"Look, I know-"  
"No you don't! If that was Pepper out there-"  
"If that was Pepper I'd hate this as much as I do now-" Tony cut him off, raising his voice. "Jones means a lot to me too, you of all people should know that. Wherever she is, she'll be fine. She's a resourceful kid. We know she's armed, we know she's got a car, and if she's stayed off our radar this long, then she's also off their radar."  
  
Bucky clenched his jaw, suppressing his anger as he tried to wrap his head around what Tony had said. Surely it had to be something pretty huge to pull the pin on a search and rescue mission.  
  
"I don't like it any more than you do, Barnes. It sucks." Tony said, genuine disappointment in his voice and brows furrowed. "Rogers is on his way back to lend a hand, too."  
"So are you gonna tell me what's going on?" Bucky asked finally. Tony let out a breath and nodded.  
"We're in deep shit... " He began.  
  
  
  
Zara's eyes snapped open, and her stomach knotted into panic. She was glad she'd packed her bag and put her boots back on before she fell asleep. The Frenchman's pistol was still in her hand, ready to go at a moments' notice. The room was dark, she must have gotten a few hours sleep, it was anyone's guess what time of the night it was.  
She could hear several sets of feet coming up the hallway, and each of the rooms being opened and searched. There was the desperate voice of the old man, first angrily demanding they leave, now pleading with them. There was a loud crack and then a thump... Then silence... Her heart sank.  
  
_Oh no..._  
  
Zara got to her feet, gritting her teeth as the mattress she was laying on creaked. She quickly made her way to the window, sliding it up and peering over the edge, that sick feeling coming back. She hated heights, and they were at least three or four stories up. She took a deep breath and said a silent prayer as she stepped out of the window, balancing on a pipe of some sort that was wrapped around the building. She silently pulled the window shut and tiptoed her way around to the water spout and lowered herself down, one agonizing step at a time.  
She crouched behind a bush, looking up as the light in her room turned on, and it was searched. She held her breath, staying hidden as they opened the window and peered out. She was going to have to make a run for it, and do it now. Staying low, Zara crept around the corner of the building, seeing two cars parked out the front, both matching in shiny black.  
Zara bit her lip as she considered her options. She could run on foot, but she wouldn't have many places to hide, and obviously she couldn't outrun a car... The other option was to take one of the cars and drive like crazy, but then she'd have to take the other one out. That was probably less risky than being vulnerable on foot out in the open.  
  
_Stupid deserted country town..._  
  
The only other problem was that both cars had a driver, and she was a terrible shot. She swallowed hard, the 'do or die' mantra repeating itself over and over in her head. She pulled the lightweight pistol from the back of her pants, thumbed the safety off and readied it to fire. This was it.  
Zara kept low in the shadows and crept around to the passenger door undetected, opening it quickly and firing a lethal head-shot at the driver, surprised at her accuracy. She climbed in, opening the door and kicking his body out as she started the car. The driver in the car behind her had gotten out and leapt into action, firing shots in her direction. She risked a glance behind her as she turned the key in its ignition and fired her gun towards him over her shoulder. There was a scream behind her, she knew she didn't kill him, but she didn't have time to wait around and see. She shifted the car into gear and slammed her foot down, taking off as quick as she could.  
  
She glanced in her rear-view mirror, seeing troops come out of the building and hearing shots being fired in her direction. She ducked, keeping her head low on hearing the inevitable 'clunk, clunk' of bullets hitting her car. Her heart raced as she put her foot down even harder, hearing the car behind her roar into action.  
She flew down the main road of the town, desperately looking for a turnoff. She shifted into fourth, watching the speedometer needle creep into the red zone. Too fast to turn anyway, not that there was anything coming up.  
  
_Fuck!_  
  
She ducked her head again as another shower of bullets came at her. There was no way she was a good enough shot - or a good enough driver to do the cop-show thing and shoot back out the window. The car behind her was closer than she'd like, sending her head into overdrive. She was going to have to do something and do it fast. She slammed it into fifth, making a headway on them, and then into sixth, allowing herself a breath of relief as she watched her pursuers in the rear-vision mirror.  
A glance at a nearby road sign made her curse loudly again as she realized they were on a road that was about to get windy as the scenery around them got thicker with trees. Just what she didn't need.  
  
She slowed down, shifting back into fifth as the road curved around, only for the car behind her to creep up on her again. Zara slammed her brakes on, bracing for impact as the car slammed into her. She grinned and took off again, risking a glance in her rear-view mirror. It had been badly damaged, but somehow it came roaring after her again. She slammed her hands angrily down on the steering wheel, she was sure at those speeds she would have wiped them out. Another sign ahead caught her attention and her heart skipped a beat as she took a tight turn, noticing they were gaining altitude as they went. There was no turning back now, she just had to keep going. __  
  
She felt another hard shunt as her pursuers rammed her car from behind. She slammed her brakes on again, fighting back as they rounded a corner, both cars bouncing off the barriers along the side of the road as they did. Zara shifted back into third, taking off hard up the hill, risking a glance in her rear-vision mirror as the car behind her backed off a little. She breathed out with relief which was short lived as another hail of bullets rained down on her car, making her duck and swerve.  
  
Zara's stomach knotted as she lost traction when her rear tyres were shot out. She wrestled against the wheel to keep it straight which at those speeds up a windy mountain road was not proving to be easy. Headlights reflecting in her rear-view mirror became blindingly close as she braced herself for impact.  
  
_This is gonna hurt..._  
  
She gasped as she was nudged, knowing what was coming. Both cars crashed through the barriers, Zara held her breath shielded herself as best she could as her car flipped through the air. There were at least four loud bangs as the car flipped over and over, coming to a shuddering stop as it crunched violently into the trunk of a thick tree.  
  
It took her a few seconds to realize she was upside down and she was stuck in the seat belt. The headlights of the other car were shining out into the woods, from the looks of it they'd had a rough landing too. Zara's breathing quickened as she fought against the belt, remembering after a few seconds she had her switchblade in her boot still. She reached down, pulling it out and ran it against the belt and cut herself free. She landed on the roof with a hard thud, her hand going to her head as she fought against her cloudy vision. She spit out a mouthful of blood out as she crawled on her knees to the nearest window, finding the pistol among the broken glass, and climbing out of the wrecked car. She readied her gun and pulled her backpack out, prepping Bucky's gun as well. She pulled herself to her feet and looked over to the other car on its side and the three armed men emerging. They were all wobbly on their feet as well, so at least it would be a fair fight.  
  
She closed her eyes and crept around to what was supposed to be the back of her car where she was hidden by the shadows cast by the headlights. She aimed her gun, and shot at the men. One of them dropped instantly, the other two leaping into action, shooting back aggressively at her. She dropped to the ground, shooting again, hitting one man in the thigh and the other in the shoulder. Not great shots, but at least they were now definitely worse off than her. They returned fire, Zara crawling along the ground like she'd seen in Army movies. Bucky had said it to her many times - 'Shoot, and move, shoot and move. Every shot you make, you give your position away. Keep moving.' She nodded at his silent advice in her head, crawling to the front of the car She let off another couple of shots, emptying her gun, and getting out of the way as shots were returned again.  
  
_Fuck... I need to learn how to shoot!_  
  
She picked up Bucky's gun, blowing out a breath. She didn't want to have to use this one, it was too hard to shoot, not to mention it was a big heavy thing for a hand-gun.  
She peeked around the corner, a bullet whistling past her ear, just about making her sick. That was far too close. She aimed the pistol, and fueled by anger and desperation she pulled the trigger, killing one guy and putting a second bullet in the guy she'd put down. There were still whimpers coming from him, so she blew out a breath, steadied herself, and put a bullet through his head.  
  
Zara slumped against the side of the car, if her ears weren't ringing she might enjoy the eerie silence. She gave herself a few moments of composure and rose to her feet, taking her backpack with her as she checked the bodies over. They were all dead, including a fourth guy, slumped in the car who hadn't survived the crash. She took their weapons and ammo, a wrist-watch from one of them and was tempted to take a phone.  
  
_No, don't take anything that they could use to track you. She glanced at the watch, not trusting it and throwing it back at the body of the man it belonged to._  
  
She swallowed hard, hearing helicopters overhead. It was time to go. She ran into the woods, ignoring the pain and dizziness that was threatening to overcome her. She came to rest at the rocky face of a cliff that had a stream running alongside it. Zara almost couldn't believe her luck. She dropped her backpack, tucking the pistol into her pants as she waded into the stream, and splashed her face, wincing as the water stung a cut she didn't realize she had. Her hands shone red in the moonlight like something out of some symbolic dream. Zara let out a breath, reassuring herself again for the umpteenth time that she'd only killed in defense.  
  
The sound of jets flying overhead at high speeds caught her attention as she peered up through the canopy of trees overhead. Those were U.S military jets, and there were a whole heap of them. That wasn't normal, not by a long shot.  
  
_What the fuck is going on out there?_


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another update, will wrap this story up pretty soon. We find out what the hell was going on with those jets, and Zara makes a risky decision to step up to the plate to protect those she cares about. Enjoy!  
> -Kaytee xo

  
  
More jets had gone over during the night. As crappy as she felt, Zara knew she had to keep on moving, something big was going down and despite everything going on with her and Hydra, she had the overwhelming urge to get back to Shield. She had rested in her spot by the creek for a few minutes, the world still spinning from cracking her head open in the crash. She'd sipped at her water bottle, but nausea had taken over and she'd been sick.  
Zara cleaned herself up in the creek, shoving a fresh gun down the back of her pants. She winced at the bruise the last one had left on her back.  
  
_Toughen up, princess..._  
  
She picked up her backpack, putting the strap over her shoulder as she and made her way back down the hill towards the town. It wasn't long before the sun started creeping up, lighting the woods up in reds and oranges. A memory came to her of another day like this, what felt like a lifetime ago. A morning of determination, fear and adrenaline. She remembered the shock of being shot, her world fading and Bucky's worried face as he comforted her in what they both thought were her final moments... An icy lump formed in her throat just thinking about it. He'd been so desperate and so afraid, and then things had gone from bad to worse.  
Zara sighed, at least this time she hadn't been shot, and she wasn't too badly hurt, save for a concussion and whatever was under the crusted blood in her hair. God, she missed him so much. She bit the inside of her cheek to hold the tears off, thinking what she wouldn't give to be safe in those strong arms again, looking into those blue eyes, kissing those delicious lips...  
  
  
  
The sun was well and truly up now, Zara squinted as she looked down the road, her hand shielding her eyes. Relief hit her when the ground beneath her changed from dirt to concrete. The town was fairly deserted, which she found creepy - worse still when she caught her reflection in a shop window and a scene from a zombie movie popped into her head. She almost laughed out loud at the thought. Zara kept moving, it was going to be in her best interests to stay hidden, she looked like she'd been chewed up and spat out - not at all a conspicuous look.  
She took a sip from her water bottle as she neared a train station that had seen better days, and keeping herself hidden she managed to pull herself up onto one of the freight carriages. She pressed herself up against the side of the carriage, somehow staying out of sight as an inspector made his way toward the engine. Zara could smell the booze on him as he went, which was fortunate for her. Not so fortunate for him, not to mention dangerous in a job around these gigantic machines. She slid into the carriage through a tiny gap, and settled down against the wall in the corner behind a couple of large crates. There was shouting outside the door to the driver, and to Zara's relief the engine came to life and the train began to slowly pull out of the station.  
  
_Goodbye shit-hole town..._  
  
Zara stayed awake for the whole trip, not feeling brave enough to let herself drift off. She crept to the crack in the door and peered out, her heart sinking when she realized she was in a city. A busy, bustling, major city. The train was slowing, and she felt herself start to panic. The unmistakable sound of metal on metal vibrated through the carriage as the brakes were applied and the train came to a stop. Zara slipped through the door and made a run for it, pulling her backpack onto her shoulder as she went. There were shouts behind her which she ignored, pulling herself up on the opposite platform and scrambling over the barriers. She ran out into the street, loosing herself in the crowds, allowing herself to take a breath. She put her head down and told herself to blend in. Don't run, don't stand out.  
  
"Welcome to Baltimore" read a sign in a shop window.  
  
_Hmm, so that's where I am..._  
  
Another glance into the window gave her the time and date, which meant she had to keep away from Hydra for at least the next 48 hours... Zara let out a sigh, if she'd lasted this long, what was another couple of days? There was an air of unease around her. People were hurried, stressed and some were even frightened. She wondered if all city people were like this. Zara paused to gather her thoughts, she needed somewhere to lay low, perhaps if she could get into a hostel somewhere to clean up and she could go from there.  
She managed to get into a room with a fake name and a large wad of cash - more than what she would have liked to part with, but the guy behind the desk drove a hard bargain.  
"Money talks, bullshit walks..." He'd said, taking a drag of his cigarette, blowing it out the open window before putting his hand out. Zara had let out an exasperated breath. This time in a couple of days she'd be back at Shield, and she'd be safe.  
The first thing Zara did was practically dive for the shower, washing the clothes she had on while she was in there and drying them by hand with the blow drier mounted on the wall. She raided the mini-bar for snacks, finding it was embarrassingly under-stocked. There were out of date cookies and the liquor bottles looked like they'd been opened already. She scrunched her face in disgust and pulled out her leftover pretzels as she re-loaded her weapons and laced her boots back up again. If there was one thing she'd learned about being on the run, it was to ALWAYS be ready to run.  
  
She wasn't particularly tired, and didn't want to risk sleeping again. It was still early, just after 10.30am if the clock on the wall was correct. Instead she re-packed her bag and stretched out on the bed, turning the TV on while she fiddled with the gun she'd left out. She flicked through the channels, watching an old black and white movie for a few minutes, before getting bored and flicking again. Music video, infomercial, Captain America running through a war-zone, soap opera...  
  
_Wait... WHAT!?_  
  
She flicked back to the Cap scene, and scooted to the edge of the bed, eyes glued to the set.  
"We bring you this exclusive footage, live from Washington D.C..." Came the voice of a female reporter. Zara's heart started to race, and she thought back to the jets flying overhead the night before. The reporter gave a running play-by-play of the events unfolding, the camera showing Steve running through the city, throwing his shield. There was shaky footage of a guy with a flamethrower standing on some sort of a monument, Steve trying desperately to get to him but he couldn't seem to push through whatever force was holding him back. There were gunshots in the background as the reporter ducked and made a run for it, her cameraman following her. Her eyes darted up to see a quin-jet materialize overhead and Shield agents come down on retractable cables, landed and took off running. Zara's hand flew over her mouth, stifling a gasp... She recognized several of them which could only mean they were from the rookie squad.  
  
_Jess..._  
  
It looked like they'd been dropped to contain the perimeter, dangerous move, but it was probably the limit of what they could handle. Unless they'd been in some serious boot camp in the last few days? Who knows... Zara shook the thoughts out of her head as she watched, eyes still glued to the screen. There were more gunshots and then the reporter was pushed to the ground and shielded by a leather-clad arm that held her there as more shots were fired. She was pulled to her feet by her tall, long haired savior and Zara made out a familiar voice in war-mode.  
"Get the hell out of here. GO!" He said aggressively. "NOW!"  
"Bucky..." Zara breathed, pressing her hand up against the screen as she seemingly locked eyes with him for a moment. She swallowed the lump in her throat, already making her mind up on her next move.  
  
The reporter nodded and stammered a very nervous thank-you before turning back to the cameraman gesturing with her hand across her neck to cut the filming.  
"That's it... Cut it" The reporter said, and then the screen shot back to the studio.  
"Well there you have it. The President will be issuing a press conference as soon as soon as possible. Until then, we'd like to warn anyone to stay away from D.C area and surrounds. To anyone in the vicinity, we suggest you stay inside your homes, lock your doors, and stay safe."  
  
Zara picked her bag up, shoving the pistol into the back of her pants and ran out the door. Part of her wanted to jump the counter and take her money back from the guy behind the desk, but then again she wouldn't have known what was going on if it wasn't for him... She glared at him on her way past and burst out the door, running down the street as fast as she could. She slowed when she came to the mouth of an underground car park, watching as a woman paid her ticket, and began to drive out through the open boom gate. Zara stepped in front of her, the car slamming it's brakes on, but not before clipping her. The woman in the car gasped in horror, getting out and running to Zara's aid as she feigned agony.  
Zara gave her a shove, knocking her over as she ran to the car, got in the driver's seat and put her foot down, hard. The woman leapt to her feet and gave chase in vain, running out of puff quickly as she disappeared in the rear-view mirror.  
  
Zara let out an uncomfortable breath, she didn't like doing these things, but she felt she had to get there. She doubted one more soldier on the field would be of much use, but she couldn't sit back knowing they were out there, and not help. She had this un-suppressible urge to make sure Jess was okay and to fight by Bucky's side. She was safe with him, and she could help keep the others safe.  
  
_I must be crazy..._  
  
At least she had little chance of being apprehended. By the way things were unfolding, the cops had bigger things to worry about than a stolen car...  
She swerved hard, taking a corner way too fast, the car sliding around a corner before roaring off again. Zara cocked a smile, she hadn't lost her touch behind the wheel of a car. Her eyes shot in every direction, looking for signs and following them, getting on the 295 the first chance she got.  
The first thing she noticed was all the outbound traffic coming from DC, thankfully there wasn't much going in. She put her foot down hard, watching the needle creep up on the speedometer.  
"I'm coming Bucky..."  
  
  
  
Steve caught his shield as it rebounded back to him, holding it back up again as more fire was thrown in his direction. He strained against the power or the flames, his feet sliding on the concrete under him, pushing him back. There was a loud explosion as Tony flew overhead, shooting a repulsor beam at the offender, throwing both him and Steve backward. They landed with a thud, Steve raising his Shield and Tony raising his hands, poised for another attack.  
  
Bucky fired his assault rifle, hitting three soldiers dressed in black, before turning around and running through the city under a cloud of dust. He ducked his head as he ran, more explosions sounding in the distance.  
"Go, go, go!!!" He called out as the ground shook, a couple of Shield recruits making a run for it just in time to miss another ground-shaking explosion. He was quick to get back to his feet, looking around as is to survey the scene in seconds before firing off another two shots from his rifle.  
  
"Who's idea was this again?" He said loudly, with a hand over his ear.  
"Not mine, that's for sure" Came Steve's voice through the earpiece. He glanced over his shoulder, with concern in his eyes before getting back to the action.  
"Half of these recruits aren't ready for this..." Bucky said.  
"Oh, will you look at that, Barnes has a heart after all-"  
"Fuck off, Stark"  
"Now, now guys... This wasn't Coulson's call, this came from higher up so let's get through this and we can argue the point later" Steve's diplomatic voice came again through the earpiece.  
"We don't protect them, they die. Point is, we're here to do a job, not babysit" Bucky said, ducking and shooting again, cocking a smile when he heard the shriek of the guy he'd hit.  
"I'd like to strike my previous comment from the record..."  
"Shut up Tony" Bucky and Steve said at the same time.  
"Coulson, we're getting slammed in here, better pull the kids back" Steve said, putting a hand over his ear. "...Coulson?"  
  
  
  
Zara felt her stomach drop when she saw the scene unfolding in front of her as she accelerated towards D.C. It occurred to her that this was possibly the most idiotic idea she'd ever had. The self-doubt settled in and she swallowed hard as she slowed down.  
  
_Why are you here, Zara?_  
_I don't know!_  
_What made you come here?_  
_I can't sit by and watch them fight. I need to help. I need to protect them, they can't fight like I can..._  
_And then what!?_  
_Keep fighting. Find Bucky. Save the day._  
_That's ambitious..._  
_I'm Zara Jones. What did you expect?_  
  
She grit her teeth and stopped the car as close as she could get without being seen. She pulled the weapons out of her bag and loaded up. Switchblade in her boot, knife in a sheath strapped to her thigh, Bucky's gun still down the back of her pants and the Frenchman's pistol in her hand. Safely off, and ammo in her pockets. She closed her eyes and exhaled.  
"Here we go..."  
  
The second Zara stepped out of the car, shots were fired at her which she dodged as she returned with deadly accuracy. She grinned to herself as she remembered Bucky's words. 'Using your combat skills are much like flexing a muscle. The more you work at it, the stronger you get. The more you shoot, the better you shoot. The more you fight, the better you fight.' Turns out he was right as per usual. Her advantage was that she had already been a dangerous opponent once upon a time. Fortunately she was well on her way to getting those skills back.  
She paused, stopping to survey the scene as she crouched, pressing her back against an upturned car. Whoever they were up against were proving a point, what point was anyone's guess. Who the hell would just rock up and decide to start a war in the nation's capitol? It felt a little below Hydra if she was honest with herself, but as usual she'd be on the lookout.  
  
Zara crept quietly to the next hiding spot, following her pistol as she looked around where her next move was coming from. There were casually dressed guys with all sorts of ammo and weapons strapped to them. She watched them, trying to work out if they were undercover Shield agents or, well, the bad guys. Her question was answered quickly as one of them shot at a uniformed U.S military soldier and ran. Zara aimed her gun and shot him from where she was crouched, hitting him in the back of the neck. The Army soldier turned and pointed his gun at her.  
"Identify yourself!!" He screamed at her, sending a chill down her spine.  
"Zara Jones, Shield. I'm a friendly!" She called back, raising her hands. "I'm approaching you!"  
  
"Put your gun down, Private" She said, lowering her own weapon as she crouched beside him, being careful to lower herself slowly and keep her stance as non-threatening as possible.  
"Corporal..." He corrected her.  
"Sorry. What the hell is going on here?"  
"You should have been briefed."  
"I've been AWOL. I'm here to help." She said turning to shoot over her shoulder after ducking a set of shots.  
"Terrorists" He said, keeping it brief.  
"Seriously?" She asked, almost disappointed. "What do THEY want? Why is Shield involved?"  
"What all terrorists want. Power. They won't get it though, and we aren't afraid of them. They've got gifted's on their side so we called Shield in..."  
"Oh okay, that makes a bit more sense then... Are Hydra involved?"  
"We're not sure..."  
  
There was another loud explosion which Zara and the Soldier shielded themselves from, before exchanging a knowing look and a nod.  
"Stay safe, Corporal" She said before making another run for it. He called out after her but she ignored it, running toward a collapsed building and pressing herself against it, realizing too late that she was only one crumbled pile of bricks away from one of the terrorists. He didn't look at all how she'd envisioned. When someone says terrorist, you get a picture in your head. This was a normal, white collared looking American guy. Dressed in a military getup, cargo pants, combat boots and ammo strapped to him like freaking Rambo. He had two hostages bound and bagged, and had a completely ostentatious looking gun pointed at them. It was a feat in itself he was able to hold the thing up with one arm. He radioed for backup, sounding quite pleased with himself.  
  
Zara took a step in to get a better look and was shot at, the bullet ricocheting off part of the building behind her. She spun and returned fire, missing her shot as she leapt behind the collapsed wall that had saved her, into full view of the terrorist. She pointed her gun at him with lightening speed and pulled the trigger *click, click*  
  
_Fuck it!_  
  
She hit the deck as he pulled his own trigger, his weapon emitting a loud BOOM, the shot sailing straight over her as the recoil made him stumble back. She got up and ran at him, knocking it out of his grip and going in with a series of punches. She sent a high kick into the side of his head, making him wobble.  
  
_You're supposed to be unconscious you stubborn prick..._  
  
In the meanwhile the other shooter had snuck up behind her and held his weapon up. Zara grabbed her dazed assailant, spinning him in front of her, using him as a human shield as the shooter opened fire. This gave Zara valuable milliseconds to pull Bucky's gun from behind her back and shoot at him, hitting him in the throat. There was a sickening gurgle as he dropped, Zara stood, chest heaving as she glanced her eyes in every direction before she deemed it safe enough to lower her gun. She jogged over to the hostages, pulling the bags off their heads.  
"Rachael!?" She gasped, recognizing one of them. She pulled her switchblade from her boot and cut the zip-ties from their wrists and ankles.  
"Oh my god, Zara..." Came the teary voice of the blonde girl as she threw her arms around Zara's neck desperately. She didn't know the brown haired girl sitting beside her, but it was clear she was just as grateful.  
"What the hell are you guys doing out here?" Zara asked, jogging over to the dead terrorists and raiding them for weapons. She tossed each other girls a loaded gun each as they spoke.  
"We were guarding the perimeter."  
"You shouldn't be out here" Zara snapped, angry that they'd been put into the field.  
"They didn't know it was going to be this bad. It was all going fine, and then more came, and it was too much for us to handle..." Rachael explained, pulling herself together.  
  
"Where are the others? Are the elites safe?"  
"Stark and Rogers were taking on an opponent near the White House last I heard. An inhuman. Romanov and banner aren't here from what I know, but most of the senior agents are out there. I know that much for sure."  
Zara nodded, her bottom lip between her teeth, mind racing.  
"What about Barnes? Has Ward said anything?"  
"Last I heard, Barnes was near the mouth of the bridge near the Lincoln Memorial, it was bad over there. I don't know where Ward is, we... Haven't been in touch for a while." Rachael explained somewhat awkwardly.  
"Okay, you guys need to keep moving. Head away from the town center." Zara said authoritatively, nodding away from the action.  
"What use are we there?"  
"You'll be safe, and nobody will have to come and save you" She said, earning a somewhat pissed off look from the pair of them. "It's not personal, they should never have sent you guys. Your safety is all that matters, okay?"  
"And what about you?"  
"I'll be fine" Zara said, looking over her shoulder, giving a smile when she found eye contact with the girls again. "Besides, remembered how to shoot" She joked. Rachael shook her head, letting out a chuckle.  
"For what it's worth, Zara... I'm..."  
"Don't worry about all that. It's fine. Really... Some other time." Zara said as she tucked her blade back into her boot and shoved Bucky's pistol into the back of her jeans.  
"You guys need to go. NOW" She urged. "Eyes open, head down and stay safe."  
Rachel and the brown haired girl both cocked their guns and nodded, moving out. Rachael paused and looked back over her shoulder as Zara pumped an assault rifle, readying it to fire.  
"Take care, Zara" She said with a nod before disappearing over the hill.  
  
The ground shook again, Zara taking it as her cue to get moving. She swallowed hard, saying a silent prayer that she'd live through this. She'd make sure there were no other hostages, and then find she'd find Bucky... The sky lit up in orange, another explosion going off, loud enough to make her ears ring. She shook it off and took off running into the battle zone, rifle in hand and at the ready.  
  
_Okay Zara, now's your chance to make a difference. Let's see how close to the sun you can fly..._


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sooo much going on in this chapter, I won't spoil it for you though :P Will be wrapping this story up in the next few chapters, just wanted to say thanks again to everyone who's read it - and Reckless as well. I've had so much fun writing it, and already got lots of ideas for my next fic :) Thanks for all the kudos and comments as well, you are all amazing!  
> Luv, Kaytee xoxo

  
  
Zara fought to catch her breath as she ducked behind an overturned car, a fresh rifle in her hands that she'd pried from the fingers of a dead soldier. She looked it up and down, pulling the magazine out and checking how much ammo she had. It was at least half full. She nodded in approval to herself as she swallowed, her breath finally coming back to her as she found the safety, flicked it off and pumped the rifle, holding it up again.   
  
_Okay, here we go..._   
  
She'd lost count of how many soldiers she'd taken out, and hoped it wouldn't go unnoticed by the Shield crew that they had another ally out in the field. If there was one thing she was now certain of, it was that Hydra WERE in fact involved. What had started out as a terrorist scare had revealed itself as some sort of attempted takeover - ill fated as it were. Zara frowned, it still seemed very below Hydra, unless they had taken over some of the gifted's and were testing their loyalty by sending them out to war? Pointless exercise really - what good were they if they were dead or captured... Surely they would have realized that Shield would have been called in due to the nature of...  
  
_Oh crap..._  
  
They'd drawn them in intentionally. Zara wasn't sure whether it would have been to get their hands on her - it all seemed a bit elaborate, but then again if they could get their hands on Rogers or Barnes, maybe it would be worth it? Maybe they could take out a few key players while they were at it? She set her jaw and let out a breath as she readied herself for whatever was to come. She peered around the car she'd been crouched behind and surveyed the scene. It seemed that Stark and Coulson were out there trying to talk the fire-shooting guy down. She hadn't seen Coulson on the field before, but there he was, armed to the eyeballs, vest on, and talking the talk like an expert negotiator. She looked down at her lack of a vest and let out a nervous breath as she pushed her bangs back off her face.  
"Don't get killed..." She murmured to herself. "Bucky would kill you."  
  
Speak of the devil, Bucky was nowhere to be seen. Rachael said something about him being over near the bridge, so she decided that's where she'd head next. The perimeter had been clear of Shield agents, and the explosions and gunshots were getting less and less. She guessed things were starting to wind down. Knowing Coulson, he'd bring in any inhumans he could, and try to give them a second chance. They were people after all... Well, sort of.   
  
The ting of bullets hitting the car she'd come to rest behind snapped her back into reality, and she found herself returning fire aggressively, another two soldiers dropping. She got up and ran again, systematically checking over her shoulders for enemies and keeping low. If the inhumans had been taken over, and the Avengers were in control again, then the only thing left in this war for them to take over was her. Zara knew she had to get to the bridge, if she was with Bucky, he'd fight with her. She'd be safe with him. She kept shooting as she ran, ducking behind a pile of rubble to slam another magazine she'd picked up into the rifle, pumping it again and glancing over her shoulder. Why the hell were there suddenly so many god-damned soldiers in this exact area. She heard the blood curdling scream of a woman in the distance and something about it made her stomach turn over. She hoped it was an enemy, surely Stark or Rogers would have heard it, they were over in that direction. She stopped and listened again. Silence. She said a silent prayer that it was nobody from her team and pressed on.   
  
There was another spray of bullets, Zara dropped to the ground and shielded herself, firing back when she could. She looked up in time to see one of the soldiers aim at her and with a bang and a spray of blood, he dropped. Zara cocked a brow as she looked around to see who'd shot him. She raised her gun, the coast was clear again. A tall dark figure stepped out of the swirling dust, she let out a breath of relief, it was good to see a friendly face again.   
"Ward..." She breathed. He jogged over and crouched beside her, lifting her chin with his hand as if inspecting her.   
"You're okay," He said, relief in his voice. "What are you doing here?"  
"You guys look like you needed a hand" She said with a half hearted grin. He let out a single sarcastic 'ha' before turning to look over his shoulder as more gunfire erupted behind him. He glanced at his watch and peered around the upturned car, checking out the scene before turning back to Zara.   
"Have you heard from Bucky or the others? Are they okay?" She asked, worry in her eyes. He gave a nod and assured her that they were all fine.  
"We gotta go" He said to her, gesturing for her to keep low and stay behind him. She nodded in agreement, following him as he led her away from the chaos.  
  
  
  
He put his arm out to stop her, shielding her from the line of fire and for the first time in days she actually felt somewhat safe. The nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach persisted, and most likely would until she was reunited with Bucky. Right now true to his word, Ward had kept her out of harm's way and they were headed towards the bridge. She could see its iconic arches diagonally across from where they were.  
"What's the plan?" She asked when they paused to take a breath.  
"We get to the other side of that bridge, there's a car waiting for us" He said, glancing back over his shoulder.  
"What about the others? I can't leave without knowing they're safe..." Zara argued, gesturing over to the gunfight near the memorial that was still raging on. "We have to help them"  
"No, I was sent to find you, and get you out of danger. You're coming with me" He said, an exasperated expression on his face.   
"No I'm not, I'm not leaving till this is over and I've found Barnes."  
"Who do you think sent me to come get you?" He said, pursing his lips as the penny dropped. She bit her lip and exhaled, it was such Bucky thing to do to have her collected and removed from the danger. She grit her teeth in annoyance and begrudgingly followed him.  
  
"So why wouldn't Bucky come and get me himself?" She asked, the question plaguing her enough to need to ask it aloud. Ward kept going for a few steps before saying something about Bucky and Steve being caught up with the inhumans.  
"But last I heard he was at the mouth of the bridge, and Steve was over at the other end of the memorial backing Stark and Coulson up."   
  
Ward stopped short, and looked over his shoulder at her as if trying to work out whether she was being truthful or not. She looked exhausted and genuinely confused, there was no reason for her to lie. Like him, all she wanted was to go home and all this to be over for good.  
"Sit tight for a second..." He said as he pulled out a phone and crouched, gesturing for her to do the same. Zara lowered herself and winced as her knees complained. Three days of running, climbing, jumping, fighting and a car accident would do that... She peered over at Ward, watching his face go from the usual stern look he wore, to a more frustrated expression as his phone rang out. He redialled and waited again, Zara glancing over her shoulder periodically as the gunfire got closer and then seemed to back off again.  
"Yeah, where's Barnes?" He asked into the phone as somebody picked up on the other end. Ward nodded as the muffled voice gave him an explanation, and obviously the answers he was hoping for.  
"I have Jones with me, we're on our way" He said, glancing over at her for a second before he hung the phone up.   
  
"So what's the story?" Zara asked.  
"Barnes was there, he's gone over to help the others. We gotta hurry" He said urgently, pulling her to her feet by her arm. They jogged through the scrub, stopping short when their destination loomed up ahead of them. Ward patted his hip, turning around to Zara with urgency.   
"Shit!" He cursed, thrusting his hand at her. "Give me your gun, now!"   
  
Zara pulled it from the back of her jeans and handed it to him without question, crouching low again as instructed. The fear knotted in her gut again and her heart began to race. Ward's eyes scanned the scene, holding the pistol up to protect them both. He turned to face her, wordlessly pulling her to her feet by her arm again.  
"Stay close" He said, smiling an unsettling smile.   
  
She swallowed hard and nodded, doing as she was told. That feeling in the pit of her gut wouldn't leave her alone. 'Trust your instincts. If something doesn't feel right, it usually isn't' Bucky's words echoed in her mind.   
"Where's your gun, Ward?" Zara asked, slowing to a stop under the statues at the mouth of the bridge.  
"I must have lost it in the heat of the moment." He said, gesturing towards the still swirling dust and smoke over by them memorial.   
"Since when does Grant Ward loose his only weapon?" She asked, watching the corner of his mouth curve into a half smile.   
"What are you trying to say, Zara?" He asked, turning to face her with a cool confidence.   
"Did you need my gun, or were you trying to disarm me?"  
  
Ward bit his lip and chuckled, lifting his hands to point the pistol at her face as if answering her question. She shook her head at him, letting out a melancholy chuckle. She should have trusted her gut.  
"Keep moving, sweetheart, we have a ride to catch." He said, shoving her in front of him, and giving her a nudge in the back with the barrel of the pistol.  
"You must think you're so clever..." She said, her eyes already scanning for an exit point, the handle of the other pistol she had pressing into the front of her hip as a reminder of its presence. She suppressed a grin as her mind worked in overtime.  
"So how long's it been, Ward? Weeks? Months? Years? Or maybe just today?" Zara asked, whirling around to face him, walking backwards now. Ward grinned, his gun still pointed at her. She'd slowed down and was clearly stalling him.   
"Longer than Shield would appreciate, I'm sure..." He said, sounding very pleased with himself. They'd come to a stop somewhere around the middle of the bridge, right in clear view of anyone who cared to look.   
"I can see what you're doing, Jones" he smirked as he gestured with the barrel of his gun that she should get moving. She put her hands on her hips, looking up at the sky.   
"Lovely day for it..." She mused, the sound of a pistol hammer being pulled back catching her attention. She looked over at Ward who was now on high alert and had his 'I mean business' face on. Zara smiled at him.  
"Aww, I'm sorry. Did you think I'd come quietly?" She asked, smiling and cocking a brow as she pulled the pistol from the front of her pants and held it up at him. Ward's amused smirk came back as tried unsuccessfully to suppress a chuckle.   
  
"Oh Zara..." He sighed, shaking his head. "Zara, Zara Zara... I thought this may happen..." He said raising a hand in mock-retreat as he took a step backwards. Her eyes were locked onto him as she followed his every movement with the barrel of her gun. She thumbed the safety off so he knew she meant business.  
  
  
Ward let out an exasperated breath and put a thumb and finger into his mouth, letting out a loud whistle. She shifted on her feet nervously as he nodded over towards the car that was waiting. It was only about a hundred and fifty meters away from them, close enough to see a soldier climb out, pulling a pretty red-head out after him. Her wrists were bound and mouth taped shut. She looked over at Zara wide-eyed, a pleading, desperate expression on her face. She had been crying, her face wet with blood and tears.   
  
"JESS!!!" Zara called out, frantic now. She went to run over to her, Ward stopping her by catching her around the arm. Zara swung at him, hitting him in the face with her pistol, cutting him above the eye. He shoved her away from him, hard, making her loose her balance. He pointed his gun at her aggressively as she advanced on him again, stopping her in her tracks.  
  
"One more step and she DIES!" He snarled at her, a clear warning tone in his voice, making Zara stop in her tracks.   
"What's the deal, Ward?" She asked, feeling somewhat defeated. There was no way she was going to let Jess get hurt, especially not on her account.   
"The usual deal. You for her."  
"Done" Zara said, eyes frantically darting back and forth. "Now let her go."  
  
Ward chuckled and shook his head. No, this wasn't going to be a simple transaction. Things like this were never cut and dry, especially when he was considering shooting Jess anyway, just because Zara had been so difficult to capture.  
  
"Hand me your gun. Safety on, handle first" He said, putting his hand out.   
  
Zara chewed the inside of her cheek as her eyes darted around. Not one sign of help, not one jet or guy in a flying red and gold suit. Not that she would have been picky if anyone was to come and help them...  
  
_Fucking hell..._  
  
"No. I don't trust you. You've already proven you can't be trusted. so here's what's gonna happen-"  
"Do I need to remind you who's in control of this situation, Miss Jones?" Ward cut her off, as if to put her back in her place. Zara laughed out loud, making him uncomfortable, and if there was one thing Grant Ward hated, that was it.  
"It sure as shit isn't you, buddy" She chuckled. "You guys need me, dead or alive, but alive is better, I know that much for sure. I'm not only armed, but I have some pretty powerful friends, all of which either already know I'm here, or will know soon. You're not the only person I've run into today, and I know how to back myself up." She said, cocking her head. Ward clenched his jaw and exhaled, nodding for her to go on.  
"I'm the only one who knows you've gone to the 'dark side', correct?" She asked.  
"Correct"  
"Okay. So you're gonna call Sam Wilson. He's going to fly on down here and collect Jess. We all stay cool, I hand you my gun, and we leave in that car."  
"That's ridiculous" Ward chuckled. "He'll bring re-enforcement's."  
"No he won't. Look up." She said, pointing. Sure enough, as if right on cue, there he was right where they could see him, hovering overhead near the memorial.   
"Get him to meet you on the bridge urgently for an emergency extraction. Tell him the soldiers captured Jess, gagged her and they're going to take her. You and I are out-numbered, I'm injured and you can't protect me AND save her. No time for backup, you need him NOW. He loves the hero thing."  
Ward shot her an uncertain look.  
"Do I look like I'm in any condition to be fighting anyone off?" She asked, gesturing to the cut in her hairline from the car accident which had opened back up again. There was enough blood trickling down the side of her face to sell the injury as a bad one. Ward nodded, considering the feasibility of her idea as she spoke.  
"Surely if it all goes pear-shaped, you can handle me on your own?" She asked, a condescending tone in her voice.   
"Of course I can handle you. Make no mistake about that. Just know if you double cross me, I'll make sure your death is a slow, painful one."  
  
_What, like how YOU double crossed ME? Heh, no, shut your mouth Zara._  
  
She had a million things she'd like to say to Ward, to wipe that smug look right off his face, make him pay for betraying all of Shield, for hurting Jess and for everything that was about to unfold right here on the bridge.  
  
"Noted..." Is all she said, gritting her teeth and letting out a breath to calm herself. She looked back up to him, dropping her hands to her side submissively. She wasn't going to give her gun up until Jess was safe, not that she was 100% sure if she could out-shoot him if it came down to it.  
  
Ward glared at her, sending a shiver up her spine which she did well to hide. He pulled out his phone, found the number and dialled it, putting the phone to his ear.  
"Keep your mouth shut, or Jess won't be the only friend of yours we put an end to..." He warned with a sick smile still on his face. "It's a real shame... I've always been quite fond of you."  
  
Zara pressed her lips shut, as her stomach turned over. She looked up in time to see Sam turn to face them in mid air on receiving the call. He shot into action heading towards them as fast as he could. Zara swallowed hard, she sure hoped he had his wits about him.   
  
_Here we go..._


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New chapter, hope you guys enjoy! -Kaytee xoxo

  
  
If there was one thing Zara hated, it was how when something big was happening, time seemed to slow down. All she could hear aside from the ringing in her ears, was her heart thumping in her chest as she watched Sam swoop down. He stayed low, flying above their heads, close enough that it made her hair whip up in the wind as he whooshed over them.  
Ward had positioned Zara 'protectively' in front of him, one hand gripping her upper arm, the other hand holding a pistol which was shoved hard up under her shoulder blade. Nauseated, she turned her head away from him, trying to ignore his body pressed against hers, the vice-like grip he had on her arm and his hot breath against her neck. Zara felt his chest move as he chuckled to himself, obviously amused at how repulsed she was by him.  
"Now, turn your safety on, and toss your gun off the bridge..." He instructed, a sinister tone to his voice. "Or I shoot you, and your friends over there"  
Zara swallowed hard, obeying him begrudgingly. Where they were standing, a big chunk of the railing had been taken out where it had been hit by a missile or grenade. It was easy with just a flick of the wrist to toss the gun away, Ward watching it as it flew over the edge and landed in the water a good 30ft beneath them.  
"Good girl..."  
Zara clenched her jaw, letting out a breath as she struggled to control her nerves. It was one thing being held hostage, but quite another when she was now unarmed in the clutches of a manipulative killer who'd also threatened people she cared about. Never mind the fact that they were near the edge of the bridge without the protection of any safety railing, and she was terribly afraid of heights. The thought of deep water wasn't something she was a fan of, either.  
  
_Boy, today is just getting better and better..._  
  
Just as she'd envisioned earlier, Sam flew straight over to the car and right on cue the two soldiers down there opened fire on him. He was ready for them, spinning to dodge their shots and pulling his guns out, shooting them both. He surveyed the area quickly before landing to make sure there were no others lurking around. He knelt down beside the car where Jess was slumped and cut the zip-tie from her wrists and peeled the tape from her mouth. Zara winced, that would have hurt.  
Sam took Jess's face in his hands as he asked something which made her nod in answer. He gently scooped her up in his arms, his wings extending back out as he stood. She held on tightly around his neck as they lifted off and he turned to head over to Ward and Zara.  
  
Ward pressed the barrel of his gun into her back as a timely reminder to keep her mouth shut, Zara answering with an exasperated sigh. Sam landed in front of them, closing the gap with a few small steps.  
"Thank you so much, Sam" Zara said gratefully, concerned eyes sweeping over the battered girl in his arms. She reached out, brushing the tangled red hair from her eyes, Jess managing a weak smile. Zara's eyes glazed over as she smiled back, her thumb smoothing Jess's brow as she blinked threatening tears away.  
Sam flashed her his glowing movie-star smile in response, and for a couple of seconds she let herself forget about their situation and take a much needed mental breath.  
"Is she gonna be okay?" She asked, Ward now applying more pressure with the barrel of the gun, making her wince. Sam noticed her expression change for that moment, his eyes dropping to Wards hand around her arm. Without giving anything away, his eyes found hers again, and the look of concentration on his face suggested he knew something was amiss.  
"Yeah, she took a hit to the head but I think she's going to be okay. What about you, that's some cut you have there..." He said, nodding towards the blood in her hairline that had trickled down the side of her face.  
"She's fine" Ward answered, loosening his hand to rub her arm like a concerned friend would.  
  
_Run! For God's sake turn and run right now, shoot him! Say something to Sam! ..._  
_No, Ward's just gonna shoot them both. Sam's got Jess in his arms, he can't drop her and pull a gun out..._  
  
Zara's hand instinctively went to the cut to touch it, her fingertips a bright red when she pulled them away. She gave a casual shrug as she wiped it off on her pants leg.  
"I'm fine" She said nonchalantly, echoing Ward's words, "Just a bump on the head, it looks worse than it is" She added, giving a very fleeting, intentionally strained smile that he was bound to see right through. Sam pursed his lips, he might be a big goofball most of the time, but under all the jokes he was a smart guy. Something Zara was counting on.  
"Come on, I can take you both" He said, looking into her eyes as if trying to read her, searching for hints, answers, anything at all... "I'll come back for you" He added, speaking to Ward now, reaching out to take Zara's hand.  
"No, she doesn't look too good. Get her to safety first." Zara said urgently, nodding for emphasis as she pulled her hand back. "Ward's got my back" She said, somewhat disappointed that only her and Ward would get the pun. Sam clenched his jaw, obviously uncomfortable. Zara felt ward's gun hand move and her heart skipped a beat.  
"Seriously Sam. Go, now! Please hurry" She pleaded, earning a nod off him.  
"We'll be right behind you" Ward smiled. Sam exchanged a look with both of them, his mechanical wings extending before he lifted off and flew back to where the others were based.  
  
When Sam was out of sight, Ward gave her a hard shove in the back, making her stumble. She turned and threw a punch at him, his hand darting up to catch her around the wrist.  
"Don't you start this shit with me, Zara," he threatened, gesturing over to the waiting car as he spoke, "Now let's go!"  
"In a hurry are we, Ward?" She teased. There was nothing to lose now, she knew he needed her alive, and there was nobody else's life he could blackmail her with. The look on Sam's face assured her that he'd be back in a matter of minutes, and knowing him, he'd bring help. Super soldier help. All she had to do was stall him, and not get into that car.  
  
Ward shot her a threatening look, grabbing her around the arm again, determined to get her into the car and back to the base as soon as possible. He knew the clock was ticking, and wasn't up for playing games.  
He pulled her in close, hard, Zara thinking fast and using her momentum to swing a fist into the front on his throat. He coughed, caught by surprise as he staggered backwards, releasing her. She crouched to the ground, picking up a small chunk of stone and wielding it as a weapon.  
  
_One crack over the head with this, and I'm home free..._  
  
Ward growled, getting his composure back as he straightened himself. His hand went to his hip to pull one of his pistols out, and he held it up at her. Zara smirked knowing he wouldn't shoot her. Her blood needed to be pumping and all her cells and organs alive and working to get the best chance of extracting what was left of the serum in her, she'd worked that much out from the various people who'd threatened her. Well what was left of it if there was any in there at all, which she highly doubted.  
  
Zara braced herself, watching him as he approached her, a dangerous look on his face. She held her make-shift weapon up and when he got into range she sent a kick up into his ribs to distract him, and swung the chunk of rock.  
  
_Argh, shit... Where is my edge!?!?_  
  
Zara scolded herself, Grant Ward wasn't some Hydra goon, he was a highly trained master of combat, and he'd seen her attack coming a mile away. He'd stopped her hand, squeezing her wrist hard enough to make her drop the stone, and hit her over the head with the butt of his pistol. Hard.  
She fell to the ground in an ungraceful slump, the world spinning around her. Aside from the pain in her temple where he'd hit her, she felt like she was about to be sick. She'd been hauled to her feet before she knew what was going on, and by the time she had enough focus to see one of him in front of him, not three, she realized her wrists had been bound. She struggled to break the zip tie but it was absolutely hopeless. Ward chuckled as he grabbed her by the arm, dragging her towards the car again. She pulled and pulled against the plastic of the tie, her skin breaking under it. She clenched her jaw again, mentally scolding herself for getting into yet another big mess.  
  
_FUCK... You fucking idiot. Okay... Think. Think, think, think..._  
  
She pulled and pushed against him as they walked, making every step as difficult for him as possible. Ward growled in frustration again, losing patience as he picked her up in one quick movement and swinging her up over his shoulder. He broke into a jog, Zara's heart starting to race as she realized they were running out of bridge, and there was still no sign of any help coming. A timely idea came to her, and she grinned, bringing her leg back, and sinking the toe of her boot into his crotch as hard as she could. He let out a roar of pain as he stumbled, dropping her hard on the concrete as he landed on his knees in agony.  
Zara 's stomach turned over when she realized just how close to the edge of the bridge they'd landed. Another couple of foot over and they would have both ended up in the Potomac... She definitely wasn't up for a free-fall, or a swim...  
Zara sprung into action, not one to waste an opportunity, ripping a handgun from his thigh holster. She took a few steps back, checking that it was loaded, thumbing the safety off and pointing it at him. It was a big chunky thing for a pistol, not unlike the one Bucky had had.  
  
_Great, any bet this one recoils like a bitch, too._  
  
She looked down at him, past her bound and bleeding wrists, her grazed hands and the shaking barrel of her pistol. She wanted him to look up and see that she had him. She'd won, not him. She wished she could pull the trigger and end him right then and there, but she knew Shield would want to take him in. Even better if Barnes beat anyone else there, he could dish out his own epic punishment. She had to stop herself from grinning as the mental picture entered her head.  
  
Ward looked up at her, eyes full of anger. He knew what was in store for him. Lockup, torture or death. There was no escape. Or was there? His mouth curled into a sinister smile as his hand shot to his back pocket, and quick as lightening he pulled a pistol out and aimed it at Zara.  
It was another one of those moments where everything seemed to run into slow motion. Zara had let herself get complacent, cocky even as she stood, looking down at him. Again, she'd taken his skills for granted and underestimated him. The fleeting shadow of a smile had given him away before he'd even moved, like a smug little boy who'd gotten away with the whole cookie jar. Unfortunately, Ward had unwittingly made the exact same mistake in underestimating her. She'd kept her eyes on that right hand of his, and before he'd even extended his arm, she'd pulled her trigger.  
  
Time felt like it had stood still, Zara's ears rang from the ridiculously loud shot of the gun and that exhausted, dizzy feeling had come back again. She was wrenched back into reality when a blood-curdling scream erupted from the man in front of her. She didn't know what the hell kind of shells had been loaded into that gun, but whatever they were, they'd made an absolute mess of his right arm. She stumbled in shock, her bound hands going to her face as she once again suppressed the urge to be sick.  
  
"Oh god..." She murmured when she realized that she hadn't just damaged it, she'd blown it completely off. The screaming continued, Zara's mouth still open in shock as she shook her head, looking down at the barrel of the gun, it's tip still smoking.  
  
She heard the unmistakable whine of a small jet engine in the distance, wheeling around and letting out a breath of relief that came out more like a sob. It was Sam, flying towards her, and he was holding Bucky. An icy lump formed in her throat, making her bite her lip, swallowing the urge to cry happy tears.  
  
As they got closer to the bridge, she watched Bucky's expression go from calm and relieved to angry and dangerous. It was around that time she realized the screaming behind her had died down. She didn't even have to gasp in surprise when she realized Ward had managed to somehow stand up and grab her, even with only one arm. Her eyes shot into Bucky's direction. He'd pulled a gun out before they'd even touched down. Ward had reacted, crouching behind Zara, using her as a human shield as he pulled her backward towards the edge of the bridge. He'd managed to knock the pistol from her hands, and as if to give Barnes one last 'fuck you', Ward pushed off, jumping from the bridge, taking her with him.  
  
The fall itself took her breath away, she knew there was a good reason she was so afraid of heights. their bodies made a full rotation before they plunged into the cold water feet first, dropping much deeper than she would have liked. She shoved Ward hard in the face making him release her. She opened her eyes in the water, seeing him kick up towards the surface in a cloud of red, but she was unable to follow him.  
She kicked frantically in vain, her heavy boots weighing her down. Her arms weren't much use either as she desperately struggled to swim with her bound hands.  
Zara's chest felt like it was about to burst as her lungs screamed for air. She gave up flailing with her arms and went back to struggling against the zip tie. If she could break it, she was sure she'd be able to fight her way to the surface. Valuable seconds ticked by and she found herself beginning to panic.  
  
_This is it. This is how you die..._  
  
She looked up and much to her relief she saw Bucky coming straight for her as fast as he could. Like something out of a dream, an eerie calm spreading over her as she watched his metal arm extend in her direction as everything got a little hazy. She was vaguely aware of his arm wrapping around her as they changed direction fast, seemingly flying to the surface.  
  
Zara had no idea how much water she coughed up, but when her eyes fluttered open she was spluttering and gasping for breath. Bucky was swimming her over to the pillar of the bridge so they had something to hang onto.  
"You're alright... I've got you..." He reassured her as they came to a stop. He pulled a knife out and cut the zip tie, her arms wrapping around his neck as she got her bearings back. Zara closed her eyes as she hung onto him, feeling his arm tighten around her. She'd been dreaming of this moment for days, being with him and being safe.  
  
When they pulled apart, they looked into each others worried eyes before pressing their lips together in an almost desperate kiss.  
"Are you okay?" He asked finally, examining the bleeding cut in her hairline above her temple. She nodded, still hanging onto him.  
"Yeah, I'll be fine. That was from last night, it's just opened up again..." She said nonchalantly, still cupping his face with her hand as she kissed him again, more tenderly this time.  
"What about you, you're not hurt?" She asked, her voice still stressed.  
"I'm fine" He said reassuringly.  
"We need to find Ward-" She said, her sentence cut off by the sound of gunfire ringing out again. Zara's breath quickened as she looked in the direction of the noise, and then back at Bucky who'd done his best to shield her.  
"We gotta get outta here" Zara said, panicked. Bucky nodded, looking over his shoulder at the riverbank which wasn't too far away.  
"Hold onto me" he said, letting go of the pillar they'd been leaning against, sinking lower into the water. She gasped, her eyes widening in fear at being back in deep water. Bucky didn't say anything, instead he was quick to grab hold of her, guiding her arm around his neck to keep her afloat.  
  
_What the hell kind of Shield agent can't fucking swim!?_  
  
Bucky pushed off the wall with his feet, gliding through the water effortlessly and began swimming them to shore. They stayed as close to the bridge as possible, keeping hidden in the shadows until they were in shallow enough water that they could stand.  
Bucky's hand went out to help her up the steep bank, his other going to his hip to pull out a pistol which he readied for himself. They got to the walkway and paused behind one of the giant pillars, Bucky pulling a second pistol out and handing it to her. She mouthed a 'thank you' as she pushed her wet hair back off her face, thumbing the safety off and giving him the nod to say she was ready. Bucky stepped ahead of her, raising a finger to his lips to remind her to stay quiet as they broke into a jog crossing under the opening of the bridge, heading west.  
  
When they stepped out into the open, they were greeted with gunshots, Bucky aggressively returning fire, his arm shooting out to roughly push Zara behind him, making her gasp in surprise. She spun herself so she was back to back with him on hearing shots ringing out from every direction. She raised her pistol, searching with her eyes for any sign of movement. The distinct sound of a magazine being loaded gave one of them away as she sent an accurate bullet into a shrub, taking out one of the soldiers, and less than a second later she took one out further up the bank. She let out a breath, noticing that Bucky had stopped firing, and felt a metal hand grip hers and spin her back around. They kept running, checking over their shoulders periodically, and sending the odd bullet out as needed. Bucky missed nothing, as much as Zara hated admitting it, it was exciting to see him so wired and focused. She almost died of shock when he ran ahead of her at one point, sneaking up on a group of four Hydra soldiers. He punched one out with a single hit whilst kicking another, snatching the raised gun off the third to hit the fourth, and turning to break the gunman's neck. When he turned back to Zara she was ghostly white, having never seen him in full 'lethal Bucky action mode' before. She swallowed hard, shaking it off and they were off again at a fast jog.  
  
The jet engine whine of Sam's wing suit could be heard above them, Bucky glancing up for a second before scooping Zara up with one arm. He raised his other without breaking stride as Sam swooped down, picking them both up together. Zara hung onto Bucky for all she was worth, jamming her eyes shut as she felt them soar higher and higher. His arm tightened around her enough that she was sure it was going to leave a bruise, but at this point she didn't care.  
  
The sound of metal and engines overtook her senses, daring her to open her eyes as she felt Bucky's feet touch down on solid ground with a loud clunk. Piercing blue eyes were the first thing she saw, looking straight into hers. She let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding and looked over her shoulder, still holding onto him. They were in a large mostly empty quin-jet, the ramp closing behind them as they flew through the air. Sam had darted back out to help Stark and Rogers pick off the last few soldiers and secure the area before she had the chance to thank him.  
Zara's rapid breathing was starting to slow down as Bucky led her to the bench seat and sat beside her, buckling them both in securely as the jet picked up speed. They exchanged a look, neither of them game enough to celebrate till they were back at the base. He reached his flesh hand across to hold hers, their fingers interlocking as they leaned back against the walls of the jet. She squeezed his hand tightly and closed her eyes again as if to block everything out but him.  
  
"Not long now Zee, we'll be home soon. I got you..."  
  
  
  



	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thought I'd better do an update, lots of questions will be answered in the next couple of chapters and we'll get this fic all wrapped up v soon. Thanks so much to everyone for reading, commenting and leaving me a kudos! :) xxx  
> Luv Kaytee xoxo

  
  
Bucky and Zara hurried off the jet and into the Shield base, hand in hand, and were greeted by several agents and medical personnel in white coats. He shot her a look, tightening his grip of her hand protectively. For Zara, the whole afternoon was fading into a surreal blur. It was the first time she'd been into the new base and the fuss everyone was making over her was making her extremely nervous.  
"Don't leave me alone with them" She pleaded to Bucky, her voice a whisper as they were ushered into a small room with harsh fluorescent lighting.  
"I won't..." He said, giving her hand another reassuring squeeze.  
  
They were told that a doctor would be coming in to treat their wounds and check them over, but she'd been caught up with another patient and was on her way over. The door closed leaving them alone together, sitting on the examination bed against the wall. Zara's breathing quickened, that horrible feeling of being in danger creeping back to her. She closed her eyes and clenched her jaw trying to swallow the panic down.  
"Hey..." Bucky soothed, putting his arm around her trembling body. "You're gonna be alright..." he hadn't seen her this panicked since she'd come back from her Hydra capture and he didn't like it. She let out a breath, relaxing into his touch as she dropped her chin to her chest and closed her eyes, her hand finding his thigh beside hers and holding onto it.  
  
It wasn't lost on him how overwhelmed she'd be after the last few days she'd had, he could only assume they'd been stressful and even now he had no idea what she'd been through. Judging by the state she was in, it must have been turbulent to say the very least. All he knew was that she'd somehow gotten out of it alive and she'd fortunately picked up a few of her old skills along the way. Then there was the fact that last time she was in an examination room, things had gone horribly pear-shaped and she'd had to literally run for her life.  
  
He could see she was clearly trying to calm herself down, her breathing had slowed but her shaking hands were still hanging onto him pretty tight and her eyes were glued back to the door again.  
Her body stiffened when the door handle turned and an attractive young woman stepped in, smiling at them both. Zara watched her as she walked in, setting a tablet device down on the counter and washing her hands in the basin beside the medical cabinet. She pulled a sheet of paper towel from the dispenser and dried her hands as she turned back around to them, her beaming smile still on her face.  
"It's so good to see you two are safe again!" Came her soft British voice as she stepped towards them. "Let's see if we can clean you up a little, shall we?"  
  
Zara watched her as she quickly prepared a dish with antiseptic and gauze, setting it down on a small table beside them.  
"Do you know who I am?" The doctor asked as she straddled a stool on wheels and scooted over to Zara. She raised her hands, examining the cut on her head, Zara's eyes flicking over to Bucky. Her expression suggested she definitely didn't trust the pretty, young doctor. Bucky gave her a single nod as if to tell her it was okay.  
"You're Jemma Simmons, aren't you?" She said after a few moments of silence, her hoarse voice coming out a little rougher than she meant.  
"I'm impressed you remembered!" The young doctor said, her voice bubbly and positive as she cleaned the cut with a wet piece of gauze.  
"Well I've heard of you, just didn't remember your face till I saw your tag..." She admitted, closing her eyes again as the antiseptic ran down her forehead a little. Simmons was quick to mop it up before it reached her eyes. Her hands were quick and her touch was gentle as she prodded at the cut.  
"Well then, that's very observant of you... We met last year on Coulson's plane, that was the day you kicked Agent Ward's butt!" She chuckled fondly, watching Bucky and Zara both stiffen again. Bucky shook his head subtly at Simmons, giving her the hint to not go there.  
"Sorry..." She said, letting out a breath, embarrassed.  
"Where's Reeves?" Zara asked directly.  
"Err... Dr Reeves is in the infirmary" Simmons said somewhat shyly.  
"So she's alive?"  
"Yes-"  
"-What happened to her, is she okay? Where's Thomas? What happened to them?  
"Yes she's alive, thank goodness. She'll be fine-"  
"And Thomas?"  
"Zara, I'm really not permitted to speak of these things, you'll be briefed as soon as possible. Coulson will want to speak to you." She said diplomatically, Zara clenching her jaw and letting out a frustrated breath.  
"Here, let me get this stitched up for you..." Simmons added, pointing to Zara's cut, changing the subject.  
  
Zara closed her eyes, ignoring the sting of the aesthetic needle as she let Simmons work. She'd said something about not using the glue as it would never come out of her hair, and in the same breath she'd stitched it in such a way that the scar would remain fairly hidden in her hairline. She'd used waterproof stitches so Zara would be able to shower and wash her hair, but they'd need to come out when the cut had healed enough.  
"Thank you" Zara said politely, too exhausted to hold her walls up much longer. She was vaguely aware of Bucky's hand closing around her arm to steady her as she swayed a little, her eyelids drooping. She turned to face him, her expression softening as she lifted her own hand to rest on his.  
"Okay, that's that done, would you mind removing your pants, shoes and top for me so I can check you over please?" Simmons asked a little awkwardly. She looked over at Bucky and opened her mouth to speak.  
"He can stay..." Zara said, interrupting her before she spoke. She was helped to her feet after removing her boots and socks, and shrugged the flannelette shirt off, laying it on the bed beside her.  
"I borrowed this, I hope you don't mind..." Zara said, the hint of a smile crossing her face for the first time in days. Bucky picked it up, putting his finger through a tear and shook his head at her.  
"And you've gone and torn it..." He scolded her, making all three of them chuckle. The lighter mood in the room made things a little less stressful. Zara let out a breath as if releasing her tension and Simmons went straight to examining her as she stood barefoot in her jeans and bra.  
"Oh, your shoulder looks great!" Simmons beamed, examining the small puckered scar that was slightly hidden by the strap of her bra. "I treated this one on the bus!" She excitedly clarified, turning Zara to look at her back where the entry wound had been. It was hardly noticeable unless you knew what you were looking for.  
"I didn't remember what this one was from" Zara mused, pulling her hair out of the way.  
"You were shot in the back, well the shoulder, but it went in here, and came out here" She said, pointing to each scar. "We treated it with a series of injections to regenerate the tissue you'd lost, to maximize healing and minimize scarring, I think it was very successful!" She enthused. "I didn't treat this one though..." She said, looking at the bullet scar on her chest, running a finger over it. Zara sucked in a breath, and suddenly felt uncomfortable again, her heart beginning to race.  
"You know what, I think I'm fine" She said quickly, putting her hands up to signal that she'd had enough.  
"Oh, no I haven't finished examining you yet-"  
"Yes you have, we're done here" Zara insisted, looking over at Bucky who'd risen to his feet as she suddenly turned to pick the flannelette shirt up, pulling it on and crossing the front over her bare body without buttoning it.  
"Zara, I can't let you leave without making sure-"  
"It's fine." Bucky interjected. "We'll go back to my room and I'll check her myself. Anything serious, I'll call" He said, picking her boots up and putting his arm out to wrap around her. Simmons let out an exasperated breath and gestured towards the door, giving into them. She knew there was no stopping a stubborn field agent that didn't want to stick around, never mind one with an over-protective super soldier boyfriend.  
"Sergeant Barnes, wait..." Simmons called out after them, gathering up first aid supplies and tucking them into a plastic bag. Bucky turned to face her as she handed it to him, giving her a nod in appreciation.  
"We're not supposed to do this, but you might need a few things..." Came Simmons' nervous voice.  
"Thank you" he said, his voice soft and expression kind.  
"You'll let me know when you've examined her wounds? I'll need to make a record of it..."  
"No problem... And it's 'Bucky'" He said, correcting her.  
"Oh, uh, yes. Thank you." She smiled politely, defeat clearly showing through in her face as they turned to leave the room.  
  
  
  
Bucky ushered her through the building, coming to a door which he opened with a key card, much like the ones they'd had at Stark tower. They stepped into the room and he turned to close and lock the door. Zara stood, looking around the room, taking it all in as Bucky had done when he'd stepped into it for the first time. Eyes scanning for windows, exit points, hiding spots and of course, weapons.  
"Zara..." He said, his voice soft. He repeated himself when she didn't respond, making her body flinch as she was snapped back into reality. She turned to face him and he was quick to close the distance between them and take her in his arms. They stood for what felt like a long time, not saying anything. Bucky laid a soft kiss on her temple on the opposite side to her cut. He felt Zara let out the breath she'd been holding as she tried to relax.  
"I'll run you a shower..." He offered, feeling her nod against his chest. "You okay?"  
"Yep, I'm fine. Just tired" She said, faking a smile that was fooling no-one.  
"You don't have to do that with me..."  
  
He led her into the bathroom, turning the shower on and testing the water with the back of his flesh hand. Zara had already unbuttoned her jeans and winced a little as she began peeling them down. Bucky motioned for her to sit on the chair in the corner of the room and knelt in front of her, peeling them off her slowly, watching her face screw up.  
"Holy shit..." He exclaimed, her purple thigh revealing itself to him as he pulled the denim away from her skin. He tossed the jeans into the corner, helping her to her feet as he turned her around to examine the deep, angry bruise. It went from just below her knee and disappeared up under the flannelette shirt. He stood and removed it from her shoulders, letting it drop to the floor, eyes following the bruise to where it stopped above her hip, and then started again up her arm on the same side to her shoulder.  
"What happened here?!" He asked, his voice gentle and his eyes full of concern.  
"Car accident" She answered quietly. "I was chased... They shot my tires out and rammed me off the road. I don't know how many times it flipped over, but I'm pretty sure hitting the tree was what caused the worst of it..." She said, her voice choking up on her last words. Her hands covered her mouth and nose as she jammed her eyes shut, finally breaking down  
"Oh, Zara..." Bucky soothed, pulling her into his arms again, careful not to put pressure on her bruises. His jaw clenched just thinking of all they'd done to her while she was away from him. It was clear she'd been through hell, the cuts, bruises and grazes all over her was enough to tell a story in itself. Her trembling body giving the rest away.  
"I'm sorry..." She said in between sobs, pulling herself together. "I'm just so fucking tired and I don't even know how I'm even alive right now. I'd be dead if it wasn't for you... You jumped off a goddamned bridge for me... I just-"  
"Hey..." He cut her off, taking her face in his hands and looking into her eyes. "You're alive because you fought to be alive, and I'm so fucking proud of you for it. You're a survivor." He said, pulling her in for a kiss and wrapping his arms around her again, rubbing her back, soothing her.  
  
"I'm an idiot, I fucked up. I let him hit me... And my wrists..." She sobbed, Bucky cutting her off.  
"Hey, stop it. That's just the shock talking" He said, his voice a little firmer now. "Now come on, let's get you into the shower and we'll talk after. You'll feel better." He added, reaching around behind her and unclasping her bra with one hand, wiping her eyes with the other.

  
  
  
Bucky had organized for some clothes for Zara to be dropped off to his room while he cleaned and dressed her wounds which she let him do without arguing. She ended up slipping into one of his t-shirts anyway as she had often done in the past. Bucky had helped her across the room and pulled the quilt back from his bed, gesturing for her to get in, fluffing the pillows behind her so she could sit up. She caught his wrist as he turned to leave, shaking her head at him, her eyes pleading.  
"Stay... Please..." Came her hoarse voice. A smile crossed Bucky's face as he turned and sat on the edge of the bed, taking her hand in his. He leaned over to kiss her forehead softly.  
"I'm not going anywhere" He said reassuringly. "Got that?"  
Zara's expression softened as she let out a breath and gave him a nod, the ghost of a smile crossing her face. Bucky gave her hand a squeeze as he stood back up again.  
"Back in a sec, I'll get us both some water and Advil" he said. "Are you hungry?"  
"Thanks Buck, no I'm fine" She said as she watched him make his way over to the kitchenette. She couldn't help but smile to herself at his bare, muscular body and low slung sweat pants. She almost had to pinch herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming.  
  
Zara felt better the second the fresh water passed her lips, up until now she didn't realize how dehydrated she was. Bucky slipped under the blankets with her, she couldn't remember the last time they'd curled up in bed when it was still afternoon light outside. He wrapped his arms around her, tucking his legs in behind her as he kissed the back of his neck. Zara let out another long breath of relief as she hung onto his arms and nestled herself into him, feeling him smile against her skin.  
"I missed you..." She whispered.  
"I missed you too" He answered, "We looked for you, Stark and I. I was so worried something would happen to you"  
"I tried to contact you, I didn't know what to do. So I just kept running..." She said, a shiver running up her spine, Bucky giving her a squeeze as if his body was answering hers.  
"That's my girl. You did the right thing, to keep moving like I taught you" He said, an air of relief in his voice. His months and months of lecturing her about survival situations had obviously sunk in.  
"Running and shooting. I killed so many people, and it was just... Automatic, like I didn't have to think about it, it was either me or them. And no matter how many I shot, and where I ran, they just kept coming"  
  
Zara glanced up at the clock on his wall above the kitchen counter and let out another breath.  
"They're still after me. I'm still in trouble" She said, rolling over to face him.  
"Not while I'm around" He said in his 'no nonsense' tone.  
"No, you don't understand. They'll do anything to take me, and there's still 24 hours left on the clock" She explained, wincing as she sat herself up again. Bucky frowned, confusion in his eyes as he sat up beside her, an eyebrow arched.  
"Zara, what are you talking about?"  
"The serum, Bucky. It's good for another day or two... Did you know about it? Did Shield know about it?" She asked, searching his eyes for clues. The confusion in his expression had quickly turned to anger as he shook his head, his jaw clenched and hands balling into fists. He let out a breath and shook his head.  
"No, I didn't know anything and I'll be finding out if anyone else knew..." He promised.  
"Hydra seem to think I have super soldier serum in me" She said, watching as his expression changed to horror for a moment, "No, not from you!" She cleared up, watching as relief swept over him.  
"I was injected with the serum when they had me, well, part of it from what I've been told. It didn't work - as we already know - but they believe there are components left in my bloodstream."  
"That's impossible-"  
"-I know. But they seem to think if they get me on an operating table they can 'harvest' whatever it is they need. That's what the Frenchman told me at the safe house..." She said, putting her hands under the covers again when she realized they were shaking.  
  
"You've been tested. The tests came up negative. For everything. I made sure" Bucky said, looking intensely into her eyes.  
"I know, I trust you... Hydra seem to think otherwise, they seem to think that Shield have lied to both of us and that's why I've been locked up. I hope they're wrong, but I'm not holding my breath..." She said, clearing her throat as her voice became hoarse again.  
  
Bucky let out a frustrated breath, not sure what to believe as he ran a hand through his hair. He sat quietly for a few moments before laying back down on his back, his arm out gesturing for her to lie with him. She curled up beside him, her head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her again.  
  
"I'll get to the bottom of this. I promise" He said looking down at her.  
"I know you will. Let's just hope we're safe here overnight, I don't have the energy to fight anymore..." Came her tired voice as she battled against heavy eyelids.  
"I'm here, nothing will happen to you."  
"You don't understand what they're capable of, Buck..."  
"You don't understand what I'M capable of..." He said, his darkness creeping into his voice. She looked up into his eyes, his expression softening when they made eye contact. Zara managed a smile as she relaxed back into him, letting out a breath as he felt his arm tighten around her again. She gave into her exhaustion, letting sleep take her. He smiled to himself when he realized she had drifted off.  
  
"I'll keep you safe..." He whispered, laying another kiss on her temple.  
  



	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, guys but here you have it - a shiny new chapter! One more to go after this, hope you enjoy :)  
> Luv Kaytee xoxo

  
  
Much to Zara's surprise she slept the best she had in months, sleeping through the night with only a couple of interruptions. When her eyes creaked open, the room was still fairly dark, she guessed it must be very early. She'd pulled her arm back when she felt the restraint of metal encasing her forearm, only to realize it was Bucky holding onto her in her sleep. She let out a sigh of relief.  
"It's only me..." Came his tired, husky voice as he stirred.  
"Sorry... Go back to sleep" She said softly, looking up at him. She put her head back on his chest where it had been for much of the night, his metal hand releasing her arm, his fingers stroking it gently now.  
Zara explored the dark room with her eyes, having forgotten for a moment where she was. Bucky's flesh arm tightened around her after feeling her body tense a little and Zara found herself stifling a giggle when she realized his eyes had closed again.  
  
_Always looking after me, even in your sleep..._  
  
She woke again a couple of hours later to Bucky getting out of bed, kissing her lightly before he stood up and sauntered over to the coffee machine. It was like the last 72 hours never happened, things seemed normal. That is until she went to sit up and she felt the aches that had stayed dormant during the night.  
"Jesus Christ..." She mumbled to herself, looking up to see Bucky watching her through the crack in the door. She raised a hand as if to tell him it was fine and she even managed a smile as she swung her legs off the bed and stood, holding onto the headboard for support. She mentally gave herself a high five, managing a few steps and as she straightened up she let a breath, smiling at her own personal victory. She made her way to the bedroom door, leaning on the doorframe as he made his way over to her.  
"Hey there..." He said, his voice still husky.  
"Hey..." She said, reaching up to kiss him.  
"How are you feeling?" He asked, concern crossing his face as he ran a thumb over her cheek. She winced a little, not realizing that it was a tender spot.  
"Never been better" She joked. Bucky cocked a smile, stepping back to have a look at her thigh, raising the hem of her shirt as he crouched down.  
"I bet Simmons has some concoction that will help that heal." He said, frowning a little as he traced over the bruise with his fingertips.  
"Concoctions are what got me into this mess..." She said, gritting her teeth as his eyes looked up and met hers. Bucky stood, letting out an exasperated sigh.  
"Zara, you don't have super soldier serum in you..."  
"We don't know that for sure"  
"You were tested."  
"Yeah, by Shield. Who are full of Hydra. There's something in me that they want, and it may not be the super soldier serum, but there's definitely something in there... They were willing to lay their lives down to get to me. If you had of seen the lengths some of them went to..."  
"Come here" He uttered, standing and pulling her into a hug. "If you're worried, we'll get Simmons to take your bloods again and do a full screening. Hydra must be pretty desperate if they're willing to take you from me, on the odd chance there's a chemical they need in your blood. I'm sure they're quite aware on the hell I'd unleash on them, and for it to be worth that chance, things must be pretty dire for them" He reassured her. She nodded against his chest, knowing he was right as usual.  
"Do you trust Simmons?" She said after a few moments silence. Bucky bit his lip as he smiled and thought about how to word his answer...  
"I don't trust anybody... But I trust myself to keep us safe if I have to"  
"So you'd unleash hell for me, huh?"  
"You don't even wanna know the things I'd do for you" He chuckled, lifting her chin to kiss her, making her smile.  
  
  
  
True to his word after they'd had showers, coffee and something to eat they ended up back in Simmons office. Under Bucky's watchful eye, she gave Zara the check over that she was meant to do the day before, and sure enough she had just the thing to clear the bruise up. It involved a cream to be rubbed in three times a day and a few injections into the muscle which made her want to throw up. It would shorten the healing time from a few weeks to a few days with any luck, a week at the most. Zara grit her teeth through the procedure, anything was worse than hobbling around and she wanted to be back to her fighting fit self as soon as possible.  
  
  
  
"Got somewhere to be?" Bucky asked her as she looked at her watch for the third time as they strolled down the corridor. Zara chuckled and shook her head.  
"Do you ever look at the face of your watch, but not actually read the time?" She asked. Bucky raised a brow, his face blank still. "Of course not, Mr 'take in your surroundings and stay focused at all times'" She said, imitating him in a very stern, serious voice before breaking into laughter again.  
"Are you making fun of me Miss Jones?"  
"Me? No, I'd never..."  
Bucky smirked and fondly put an arm around her shoulders, looking up ahead at the recreation room door and holding it open for them as they stepped in.  
  
"Sam!" Zara called out excitedly when she spotted his familiar face. He beamed a huge smile at her and jogged over to give her a hug, lifting her off the ground as he did.  
"Hey, hands off my girl" Bucky scolded him, mock stern.  
"SHE hugged ME, Barnes" He joked back, giving Bucky a wink as he set her back down again.  
"Thank you so much for everything yesterday, I don't know what I would have done without your help" She said, her serious face back on for a few moment, broken only by a genuine smile.  
"Don't mention it. I'm just glad you're okay. Couldn't imagine putting up with THIS ONE otherwise" He laughed, gesturing at Bucky who was not so amused by his joke.  
  
"So what happened with Ward?" She asked as if she'd been dying to spit the words out. Bucky's eyes shot over to hers and then to Sam's as he considered what she'd asked. Sam shook his head and sucked in a breath as he shrugged his shoulders.  
"He had a major arterial bleed, they know that much as the water was full of it. He wouldn't have survived. We have divers in the water looking for him now, but he's probably at the bottom of the Potomac" Sam said. Zara looked at each of them and let a breath out.  
"Until we have a body, we don't assume anything." Bucky said, as if reading her thoughts. "We've made that mistake before, and we won't be making it again" He added, giving Zara's shoulder a squeeze. She looked down, rubbing his hand with hers.  
  
The door latch clicked loudly making Zara jump, Bucky's grip tightening around her instinctively as she backed herself into his chest. Sam cocked a smile and the three of them watched as Coulson strode over to them, Bucky and Zara letting out a breath of relief.  
"Relax, you two..." Sam chuckled, earning an un-amused look from them both, Zara giving him a playful shove at the same time.  
  
"It's good to see you, Zara. How are you feeling?" Coulson asked, pulling her in for a hug. Zara clenched her jaw, worried she might unravel being reunited with everyone. She cleared her throat and nodded.  
"I'm great now that I'm home" She said with a convincing smile, Coulson beaming at her in return.  
"It's great to have you home. Now, I have the others on their way, I suppose you're all wondering what's going on..."  
  
Sam, Bucky and Zara all nodded in agreeance, eager to be filled in. Coulson gestured for them to head over to the corner of the room where there was a large U-shaped red couch they could all sit at. Sam lead the way, the door behind them bursting open as Stark and Rogers walked in, joining them.  
"Zeejay..." Stark said with a grin, walking at her with outstretched arms. Steve chuckled at him, it was well known that Tony wasn't overly sentimental or affectionate but for some reason he'd taken a real shine to Zara. He gave her a tight squeeze like a big brother would, and blinked away glazed eyes.  
"Glad you're back, kid" He said, letting her go long enough for Steve to plant a gentlemanly kiss on her cheek and give her a hug, the three of them chuckling to themselves. Steve turned to give Bucky a bro-hug and a friendly slap on the back as they made their way over to the lounge.  
  
"Guys?" Came Coulson's slightly impatient voice. "Sorry to break up the reunion, but we're on a bit of a time schedule here"  
"Sorry Coulson." Tony called back from his end of the room as he made his way over with Zara in tow. "Is there anyone who hasn't hugged Zara Jones? Anyone? Are we good?" He quipped back, making her flush red.  
"I'd like another" Bucky piped up from his spot on the couch. Zara blew her fringe off her face, trying her hardest not to smile which was clearly not working. She made a mental note to get them both back for that.  
"I'm so sorry, Coulson" She said as she sat herself down between Tony and Bucky, Coulson waving his hand at them, feigning patience.  
  
"Okay, now that we're all settled..." Coulson started, "As you all know, D.C was attacked again. We managed to cover it up as a terrorist attack, and contain it, but clearly, we know that wasn't the case. There's a whole lot we don't know yet, which we're working on, but what we do know is that it was a was a warning shot from Hydra."  
"How can it be a warning, if they have nothing to back it up with? We just about wiped them out, didn't we?" Steve asked, confused.  
"Yes, we did. Which is why they've changed their approach. We took out their technology, their labs, a huge percentage of their soldiers and weapons... What do they have left?" He said, looking around the room.  
"Inhumans..." Zara said, thinking aloud. "They're recruiting inhumans to use as weapons"  
"Exactly. They won't willingly fight against Shield though. We pose no threat to them. Shield are here to protect them, to nurture them" Coulson said. "They're controlling them somehow, and because they don't have the tech to do it, we have reason to believe they're using telepathic inhumans..."  
  
Bucky and Zara exchanged a worried look before he reached down to take her hand, his fingers interlocking with hers.  
  
"Sorry, but where's your proof? We all know inhumans have just as much capability to do things like this as regular old-fashioned humans. It's too easy to suggest that they're being controlled. Maybe they're just power hungry and out to prove a point?" Tony piped up casually.  
"Because one of our own has been controlled..."  
"Who? Barnes? Jones? ...That was with tech. Cold, hard machinery, which they don't HAVE anymore. It's in pieces in my lab" Tony argued.  
"No, one of our doctors was controlled" Coulson said, his eyes landing on Zara's.  
"Not Reeves?" She asked.  
"Hall. Thomas Hall. He's been loyal to us until now, he was sent in to capture you, and kill anyone who got in his way. They needed someone we trusted, so they took him, got in his head and sent him in."  
"Holy shit... So where is he now? Where's Reeves?" She asked, worried.  
"Reeves is fine, she took a bullet but it didn't kill her. She stuck him with a tube of Propofol and he went down like a bag of soup. Woke up aggressive, so he was locked in isolation till it wore off. He doesn't remember much, so I have an old friend coming in to check him out."  
"Check him out how?" Steve asked, arching a brow.  
"Have you ever heard of Charles Xavier?" He asked, looking around the room.  
"Xavier's dead" Came Tony's monotone voice, annoyance shining through. Coulson chuckled and nodded.  
"Unfortunately you're right, but he did train up a protégé. She was only young when Charles died, I helped her hide out and we've been in touch over the years. She's a good kid."  
  
"You're bringing someone that can control minds into a building full of super soldiers and inhumans?" Tony snapped, rising to his feet.  
"Tony, she poses no threat-"  
"No, this is absolute bullshit." He said, waving his hand as he turned to leave. Bucky looked over at Steve, clearly wanting to leave as well but not so sure if he should or not. His hand was already tightened around Zara's, ready to pull her to her feet, the tension rippling through him sending a shiver up her spine. Coulson let out an exasperated sigh, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.  
"I don't know what else to do. We can't take out anyone without doing everything in our power to find out the whole truth. Candice has helped me out before, and she wouldn't be coming here if I didn't trust her. It's no different to any of you guys here in front of me. You all have the capability to do catastrophic damage, but you're here because I trust you." Coulson said, loudly enough to reach Tony, who stopped in his tracks to turn and face him.  
  
"When's she coming?" Tony asked with venom still in his voice, his arms crossed angrily.  
"She won't be here for a couple of weeks at least. You don't have to be here if you don't want to be, and Thomas Hall will stay in lockup until then. Maybe if you work with her, you can come up with a device that blocks telepathy out?" He asked, knowing that asking Tony to invent something to protect them was just as good as dangling a carrot in front of a horse. Tony let a breath out.  
"Maybe I could come up with something..."  
"We'd all appreciate your help, Tony" Coulson said, his friendly smile returning.  
  
"So how long's she staying for?" Steve asked cautiously, breaking the silence again.  
"She'll be welcome to stay as long as she needs. She's been targeted as well, Hydra have been looking for people with her abilities to help their cause. She's been on the run for some time, and I think most of us here know how exhausting that can be." Coulson said, lowering himself onto the couch opposite them. "She's more of a 'reader' than anything else. She didn't get much further with her training because Charles wasn't there to help her, but she's good at unlocking forgotten memories and she's also an unbeatable lie detector" He said with a smile. "We'll see everything that he saw, we'll know who's responsible for what, and we'll also have a good idea of why they're doing what they're doing."  
  
"How far back will she look? Into his memories I mean?" Zara piped up, her voice hesitant.  
"As far back as his involvement with Hydra goes, so we'll get a pretty good idea of what chemicals they're talking about and why you were targeted... Ideally if she could sit down with you separately we'd get an even better idea, but that's something for you to think about. If you're not comfortable with that, then that's fine"  
Zara felt Bucky shift beside her, his tension matching hers. She nodded back to Coulson in acknowledgement and promised she'd think about it, despite everything inside her screaming 'hell no'... __  
  
  
  
"I don't know how I feel about someone poking around in your head" Bucky said, leaning against the counter, one hand either side of her. "It just doesn't feel right..."  
Zara nodded, her hands holding either side of his face as he leaned in to kiss her. She brushed a loose strand of his hair back, her expression softening as her body relaxed.  
"I feel the same way. I figured I'd see how things went with Thomas, and make a decision based on that" She shrugged, "If she's going to be here a while I guess we have plenty of time to figure out if she can be trusted. You're a pretty good judge of character, I'll wait and see if you hate her instantly or not" She chuckled, making him laugh too.  
"I'm not that cut and dry am I?"  
"Well, yeah, you kinda are" She said, still laughing. "Although you learned to like me so I guess there's hope for you yet" she said, raising her hand to tap him on the nose playfully, Bucky catching her around the wrist before she could. He grinned, knowing he had her cornered, leaning over to kiss her again. She reached up and gripped his side with her free hand as he kissed her, pressing herself against him intentionally as he pulled her closer. She let her fingertips sink into him, applying more pressure as she pushed against him, feeling his grip around her wrist loosen. Zara smiled against his lips as she pulled her hand free, only for him to tighten his grip on her again.  
"You honestly thought that would work?" He chuckled fondly as she pouted at him, planting a kiss on her forehead and releasing her wrist. She smiled and bit her bottom lip, not being able to fake a pout for long.  
"Okay fine..." He said, rolling his eyes. "You almost had me" He confessed, "almost". Zara giggled and cocked her head in a smug, knowing way.  
"And just so you know, I always liked you"  
"No you didn't, you thought I was a pain in the ass."  
"I did so, and I STILL think you're a pain in the ass" He laughed, dramatically shielding himself as she gave him a playful shove.  
"You hated me"  
"Zara, I really didn't. Honest" He said, his tone going from playful to semi-serious. "I don't know what it was, but there was always this feeling of familiarity around you. Maybe because we were so alike, who knows? I just always felt like it was my job to keep you safe, to make sure you were okay - even when you were driving me nuts" He said, cocking a sideways smile. "Weird, huh?"  
"No, it's not weird," She said, stepping back over to him and resting her head against his chest as he put his arms around her again. "It's actually kind of sweet, in a very YOU kind of way" she chuckled, "I wish I remembered more of those early days... I guess this 'Candice' chick will be able to shed some light on all that, huh?"  
  
Bucky exhaled, Zara chuckling again at his frustration.  
  
"I guess we never got to have the 'honeymoon period' thing like most couples do. We've always been locked up or running for our lives, I often wonder what it would be like, just us, free. Not a worry in the world..." She mused aloud.  
"Well, I did promise you..." He said after a few moments silence.  
"What?"  
"Let's do it. After Tony's 'base warming' party next week we'll go away somewhere off the grid. Somewhere warm by the ocean..."  
"Bucky, don't tease me" She scolded, pulling away from him a little annoyed.  
"No, Zara I'm being serious. No phones, no tracking, no tech. We'll stay off the radar. I'll okay it by Coulson and we'll go" He said, looking into her eyes, his face genuine.  
  
Zara grinned, nodding her head excitedly as she jumped into his arms and he spun her around. She let out a laugh, thinking that she may cry otherwise.  
"We'll laze around in the sun on the beach, we'll drink expensive cocktails and I'll teach you to swim... Oh and we'll go out for dinner every night, have breakfast in bed every morning" He said, closing his eyes as if he was already there. Zara wiped her eyes, happy tears leaking out despite her best efforts to hold them in.  
"Bucky that sounds amazing..."  
"I'll speak to Stark and Coulson today and make it happen. Why don't you go see how Jess is in the meantime?" He asked, kissing her lips gently, making her smile. Zara nodded, wiping her eyes again.  
"I love you so much, Bucky Barnes. I seriously do..."  
"I love you too" He smiled, cupping her face as he leaned in to kiss her again. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and slid his finger across the screen, unlocking it.  
  
"Go on, get going. I have calls to make and you have a friend to visit"  
  
He gave her a friendly slap on the butt as she turned to leave, making her gasp. She turned around to flash him a smile and waved as she stepped out the door, Bucky waving back as he put the phone to his ear.  
  
"Yeah Stark? You have a private tropical island don't you? ... Yeah, yeah, sounds great... Zee and I need a favor..."


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap, here it is, the last chapter of Relentless. Its a nice long one for you guys, enjoy! :) xx

 

A big grin crossed Zara's face as she closed her suitcase and fastened the lock. She lifted it off the bed and propped it against the wall beside Bucky's. She made a mental note to thank Stark when she saw him tonight at the party, he'd very, very graciously given her his credit card, plonked her down in front of a computer and told her to 'go nuts'. She'd behaved herself - as much as she loved shopping online - and bought clothes for both her and Bucky. Plenty of board shorts and shirts for him, and summer dresses, skirts, bikinis and a few pieces of lacy lingerie for herself. She bit her lip thinking of how good his reaction to the matching red set was going to be. Just for good measure she'd bought herself a hair straightener that she could also curl with, and some new makeup as well... There may or may not have been a couple of pairs of shoes in there as well.  
  
_Holy crap, I'm turning into a girl..._  
  
She let out a chuckle at the thought, her cherry Doc Martens catching her eye in the corner of the room, making her smile.  
  
_Well, not too girly thank god... Only a part time girl..._  
  
She glanced at Bucky's alarm clock that was beside the bed, she'd have to start getting herself ready for tonight. She felt her hair which was finally dry, all she had to do was put some loose curls in it, slip into her dress and 'put a face on' as she liked to say.  
When the straightener was hot she started taking chunks of hair, straightening the roots and twisting through the lengths. She pondered the last two weeks which had gone past rather quickly. Not a whole lot had happened since then, Reeves had discharged herself from the infirmary and they'd had a couple of brief chats. Zara had thanked her profusely for helping her get out that day, for the car and phone, and for everything that she'd done. As it turned out, she'd suspected Thomas of being under some sort of control, and she'd been right on the money. She'd had quite a few sessions with him, and so far not once had his story changed, even when she questioned him from different directions. They couldn't be sure what exactly had transpired with him, but they'd get their answers when Candice arrived in the next few days.  
  
  
  
Zara smiled to herself as she blotted her lipstick and fluffed her hair. She'd pulled the bathroom door shut when Bucky had come home, not wanting for him to see her till she was ready. She sat on the edge of the bath to slip into a red pair of pumps and clasp her bracelet onto her left wrist.  
"Zee, you ready, babe?" Came Bucky's voice from the other side of the door. She smiled, shaking off the butterflies in her stomach. From the second she'd pulled the tight little black dress on, she'd doubted her decision to buy it. It was a simple bandage dress, straps were on the thicker side and it was almost backless. Definitely a daring choice for her to make, but she was feeling good, and she wanted to knock Bucky's socks off. She turned in front of the full-length mirror as she let out a breath.  
  
_Here goes nothing..._  
  
She made her way to the door and unlocked it, pulling it open. Bucky stood up from lacing his shoes, his mouth wide open, and for that second she doubted herself, thinking it was a bit much and she should change...  
"Holy shit..." He breathed, his mouth curving into the same sexy smile that it did when he was about to get lucky. Zara giggled as he made his way over to her, his lip between his teeth and his hands reaching out to settle on her hips.  
"Like it?" She asked a little shyly, his fingertips pressing into her as he let out a throaty chuckle. "I'll take that as a yes then..."  
"Do you think we have time for a qui-"  
"No. No we don't" She giggled, putting her hands to his chest. "But when we get back tonight we'll have plenty of time" She said, giving him a playful wink.  
"I'll hold you to that, Jones..." He purred, leaning to kiss her neck below her earlobe. She closed her eyes and exhaled, feeling her heart race a little. Bucky smiled against her skin, letting out a chuckle as she pushed him away.  
"You're a tease..." She said as she turned the light off and headed for the door, turning to wait for him.  
"I'M a tease? Says the girl with legs for days and a body that could stop traffic..."  
"Um, have you seen YOUR body lately?" Zara chuckled as they stepped out into the corridor, Bucky smiling as he locked the door behind them.  
"Seems we're a good match then" He said, putting his elbow out.  
"That we are" She smiled, looping her arm through his.  
  
  
  
Bucky held the door open for her and she stepped in, her eyes scanning the room as they had the habit of doing these days. She felt his hand give her shoulder a squeeze, both their eyes darting up on hearing a familiar voice.  
"Bucky!" Steve called, waving to them both. They made their way over in single file through the small crowd that had formed. Steve stepped in to kiss Zara's cheek, his cheeks flushing red a little as he complimented her outfit. Bucky grinned, making some remark about finding Steve a girl of his own, the three of them laughing together.  
"Oh, before I forget, we have a couple of new members here on our team" Steve said, calling out to the young man and woman behind him.  
"This is Wanda Maximoff" He said, "Wanda, this is Zara Jones" He said, gesturing between the two girls who smiled warmly at one and other, shaking hands.  
"And Wanda, this is my good friend Bucky Barnes" He added, "Bucky, Zara, this is Pietro Maximoff, Wanda's twin brother"  
Pietro took Zara's hand, raising it to his lips to kiss, making her giggle.  
"Miss Jones, you must be an angel, no?" He asked, looking mesmerized, into her eyes.  
"Um, most definitely not" She chuckled, embarrassed.  
"That's even better then," He purred, giving her a wink. Bucky cleared his throat loudly, interrupting them.  
"Bucky Barnes" He introduced himself, gripping Pietro's hand tight enough to make him uncomfortable as he shook it. Pietro raised a brow at Bucky, muttering a 'nice to meet you' as Bucky put his arm around Zara's shoulders.  
"You two are..."  
"Yeah, we are." He said, giving him a smile that was not 100% friendly. Zara bit her glossy red lip to stifle her own laughter. She'd never seen Bucky possessive and as much as she shouldn't admit it, she found it hilarious.  
  
"I might go get a drink, Buck. Want one?" She asked, the bar catching her eyes. She definitely needed something to help her loosen up.  
"No thanks baby, I'm good" He smiled, giving her a kiss on the temple.  
  
"Makes his girl get her own drink..." Pietro murmured to Wanda, loud enough for Bucky to hear. Bucky shot him a somewhat dangerous look, making Wanda giggle.  
"I'm capable of getting my own drink, I'm not a princess" Zara said, giving him a smile.  
"Oh, I beg to differ..." Pietro disagreed.  
"You're just begging for an ass kicking, Maximoff" Bucky threatened, snapping into 'angry Bucky' mode. Pietro took a step back, seemingly not the only person who'd suddenly become worried. Zara grabbed him by the arm, shaking her head at him when they made eye contact. Bucky gave her a wink to let her know he was still in control, Pietro taking his cue to leave and go hit on somebody else for a while.  
  
  
  
Zara blew out a breath as she headed for the bar, ordering a shot of Jack Daniels and a mixer. The second she swallowed the shot she felt better, allowing herself to breathe, feeling the tension fall away from her. She picked up the Jack and Coke mixer, turning to step away from the bar when a familiar voice called out to her.  
"Zeejay!"  
Zara grinned when she saw Jess hurrying over as quick as she could in her too-high heels. Zara let out a chuckle as she put her arms out, Jess hugging her tightly.  
"Oh my god, don't let me fall over" Jess chuckled.  
"Not in a million years" Zara promised, flagging the bartender down who came and took Jess's order. "How are you feeling? You look gorgeous!" Zara enthused, stepping back to admire Jess's emerald green satin mini dress and black pumps.  
"Feeling awesome, and if I look gorgeous, you look like a fucking model" She laughed, downing a vodka shot and chasing it with a mixer. The girls clinked glasses, turning to look around the room.  
"Sam looks cute, doesn't he?" Jess said, looking over at Zara who nodded in agreement.  
"I heard he's single..." Zara said, taking a sip from her glass.  
"Yeah, so did I, that's why I bought this dress, I heard he liked green." Jess said. "How do I look, be honest..."  
"Jess you look HOT" Zara grinned. Jess grinned back, fluffing her hair and adjusting her boobs.  
"Bucky looks cute as well..." She said, taking a sip of her drink, Zara agreeing with her again as they admired him from across the room. "It's such a shame isn't it?" Jess said, disappointment in her voice.  
"What?"  
"That he's off the market and even worse I heard Jones was here tonight. That's his girlfriend"  
Zara just about spat her drink out, her hand going to her mouth as she forcibly swallowed it down. Jess's eyes shot over to her, Zara barely able to contain her laughter.  
  
"I know, right?" Jess said, taking in Zara's reaction, "We have to scope this chick out. I bet I can guess who she is..."  
"Jess, I know who she is-" Zara said with a kind smile.  
"Don't you dare give it away. I want to test my intuition."  
"No, you don't understand, it's m-"  
"Zee! Hush, puppy!"  
"Okay, but just for the record I tried to tell you."  
"Yes, noted." Jess chuckled. Zara rolled her eyes, biting her lip as she tried to contain her laughter.  
"Now let's play a little game, what kind of girls does Barnes go for? I'm tipping tall, leggy blondes. Think Jessica Simpson in Dukes of Hazard" Jess said, sounding every bit the psycho-analyzer.  
Zara laughed out loud as she swallowed the last mouthful of her drink, the bartender bringing them another round.  
"Not even CLOSE" She chuckled. "He can't stand ditsy, barbie girls."  
"What about the brunette next to him, she's pretty. Maybe he goes for girls like that?" Jess said thoughtfully, looking to Zara for a clue.  
"That's Wanda Maximoff, and they've just met, but you're getting warmer to his 'type'!" __  
  
Jess let out a breath and frowned as she took a sip from her glass, eyes scanning the room for potential girls, and ended up locking eyes with Sam who shot the girls a smile. Zara waved at him, making him wave back, and before long he excused himself from his conversation to join them.  
"Stunning..." He said, gesturing at them both, making them giggle. He hugged kissed each of them on the cheek and after a bit of small talk, Zara excused herself to head to the bathroom to give them some privacy.  
  
Bucky was deep in a circle of conversation, seemingly mediating between Steve and Tony which was nothing unusual. Every so often Pietro would wander over to stir him up a little which Tony found highly amusing. As much as Zara was tempted to stand and watch, she let them be and headed to the ladies room.  
She looked up from the stream of hot water as she washed her hands, catching the face of a pretty blonde girl in the mirror looking right at her. Zara stood, yanking a length of paper towel from the dispenser, drying her hands and tossing the paper in the trash.  
"Hey Zara..."  
"Hey Rachael, how are you feeling?"  
"Much better, thanks to you" She said, embarrassed, looking down at her feet for a moment before making eye contact. "I just wanted to say thank you for getting us out of there. I know we really got off on the wrong foot - and that was completely my fault - but yeah... I just wanted to thank you, and say sorry for all the stupid shit I did."  
"Oh, Rachael, that's fine. Don't even mention it." Zara said, waving her hand as she spoke.  
"No, it's not. I was so freaking jealous of you, and I know I caused a lot of trouble. I'm really sorry Zara. I think about it a lot and I wish it never happened. I was a total bitch, and deserved everything I got."  
Zara cocked her head as Rachael's big brown eyes glazed over, pulling her heartstrings. Zara stepped over to her, arms out and gave her a big hug, Rachael hugging her back.  
"Apology accepted" Zara said as they pulled away.  
"Thanks Zee, it means a lot. Please pass my apology onto Bucky as well. I don't like my chances of getting near him without being shot or strangled" She chuckled. Zara nodded and promised to pass the message on, leaving the bathroom and heading back over to the bar again.  
  
She stepped back out into the main room, tucking her lip balm back into her tiny sequined clutch, looking up to lock eyes with Bucky across the room. She shot him a flirty smile, letting her brow arch a little as she closed her eyes and reached up to fluff her hair. She gave herself a mental high five when she opened her eyes again, satisfied with her efforts when he bit his lip in response. Zara stifled a giggle, staying 'in character' as she turned to make her way back to the bar, letting her hips do the talking as she walked across the room. She turned her head for a second, checking over her shoulder to catch him still watching her, shaking his head as he did.  
  
"He hasn't taken his eyes off you all night" Jess said, a slur in her voice as the night wore on. Zara giggled, realizing that wasn't the only one who'd had a little more to drink than intended.  
"What are you talking about?"  
"Barnes. I think Barnes is hot for you. There. I said it." Jess said, hands up and eyes closed like a preacher. Zara cocked her head thoughtfully and gave a shrug.  
"You think I'm his type?"  
"Honey, in that dress, you're everyone's type. Maybe even my type if I keep doing these shots!" She said, making the two of them laugh. "He hasn't had a girl near him all night - well none that he's even bothered to look at, anyway. If Jones really is here then obviously they're avoiding each other. I think they're on the rocks - we never see her anywhere. Hell, I think he spends more time with YOU than he does with her, and to be honest I always wanted you guys to pair off. you're so cute together" She said, going a little doe-eyed as she smiled.  
"You're such a sap..." Zara chuckled. "Now can I tell you who it is? Please? This is getting embarrassing"  
"Oh my god he's coming over here" Jess said, smoothing her dress and checking her makeup in the reflection of her glass.  
"Of course he's coming over, he's probably heard every word you've said. Gotta be careful what you say in earshot of a super soldier" She giggled as Bucky closed in on them, wrapping an arm around her waist.  
"You're both right" He said, cocking a brow, "I do hear everything, and you..." He said, looking into Zara's eyes as he pulled her closer, "...have been driving me crazy all night."  
  
He tilted her chin with his metal hand, kissing her a little too passionately than was appropriate in public. Jess let out a loud, excited "WOOOOT!" making Zara laugh as she pried herself away from Bucky.  
"I knew it! I KNEW it!" Jess exclaimed loudly, Bucky joining in on the laughs. "Good friend award to me for setting you hotties up" She added, Zara shaking her head.  
"We've been together a while" Zara admitted with a smile.  
"What? How long!?"  
"Longer than memory serves" She said, looking over at Bucky and back at Jess. "Jess, do you seriously not know who I am?"  
  
Jess shook her head, frowning with confusion as she did the math in her head, shrugging when she still came up with nothing.  
"Jess... I'm Zara Jones" She said, watching Jess' mouth drop open. She shook her head in disbelief, looking back and forth between her and Bucky who nodded, confirming what she'd said to be true.  
"Well fuck me sideways... YOU'RE really Zara Jones?"  
"Yes, I'm Zara Jones, I promise" She chuckled as Jess pulled her in for a hug. "I'm sorry I couldn't tell you the truth, nobody was allowed to know, both for my safety and theirs. Coulson made my identity confidential..."  
"The same Zara Jones who blew up a Hydra base? Obviously not the same Zara Jones who died in the Hydra battle-"  
"Actually yeah, that's her, one and the same." Bucky said, his expression softening, "But I got her back..."  
  
Jess threw her hands up as she absorbed the new information, shaking her head.  
"How the hell do you die in battle, and come back to life? How does someone- Why would- Oh my god I have a million questions..."  
"I didn't die, I was taken. Well I did die, but they brought me back to life-"  
"-What was it like?"  
"I have no idea-"  
"They wiped your memories?"  
"Yes-"  
"So they-"  
"-Jess" Zara cut her off. "I promise to answer all your questions, but let's enjoy tonight and talk about it another time?"  
"Sure, oh my god I'm sorry... I'm just all like... Wow!"  
"You're not mad at me?" Zara asked, cringing a little.  
"No, not at all, well maybe a little, but not really... I can't believe my best friend is Zara freaking Jones... Zeejay... Z.J... I don't know how I didn't get it, I feel like such an idiot. Do I call you Zara now?" She stammered, rushing through her words as her brain ran at a million miles per hour. She raised her hand to call the bartender over who put another cocktail in front her. Jess took a gulp of her drink and placed her hand to her forehead, suddenly realizing she was quite drunk. Bucky reached out and steadied her with his hand, earning a grateful smile from her.  
"Call me whatever you like. Zara, Zee... Stark calls me Zeejay which is where it came from."  
"And where did Morgan come from?"  
"Seether fan" Zara chuckled, earning a nod of approval from both Jess and Bucky. Jess downed the last of her cocktail, her eyes drifting to the empty area in front of the DJ booth. She shook her head in disappointment.  
"I think I've had enough to drink that that dance floor needs us" She said with determination. "Think they take requests?"  
"Let's go ask!" Zara said, taking her hand as they made their way over to the booth. Bucky flagged Sam down, who made his way over when he heard a great dance track come on, a groove in his step. He gestured over to Jess, giving him a smile, Sam grinning back to him.  
"What do you say we show these girls a good time?" Bucky called over the music.  
"Only if you can keep up, Barnes!"  
  
  
  
Zara sipped at her Gatorade bottle as she approached the 2 person quinjet, Bucky throwing their suitcases in the back and climbing into the pilot's seat. The door on her side popped open, Bucky leaning out the door with his arm out to pull her in. He reached up, flicking switches overhead, the engines coming to life as the doors closed.  
"I can't believe Tony lent us a jet..." Zara said in amazement, Bucky flashing her a smile as he buckled himself in, nodding to her belt, prompting her to do the same. She let out a yawn as she tightened her safety belt, still gripping her Gatorade as she watched him push the lever to set them in motion.  
"How's your head?" He asked, poking fun at her.  
"Much better after an aspirin, that's for sure!" She laughed. "What a great night..."  
"It really was, wasn't it? Hopefully you can get some sleep when we're in the air" He said, reaching over to give her thigh a squeeze.  
"I need it, you kept me up all freaking night" She chuckled.  
"Well, you'll keep that in mind next time you strut around in tight little dresses and stilettos" He said, giving her a wink which made her giggle. "Ready?"  
"Ready"  
"Here we go..." He said, his hands going for the control, making the engines roar. The jet rolled forward, taking off into the air fast but also incredibly smoothly. A smile crossed her lips as she looked over to Bucky who'd interlocked his fingers with hers, returning the smile. The sun was just starting to come up, making the sky glow pink and orange. They were fortunate enough to get a clear morning, and as they headed towards the ocean the view was only going to get better.  
Bucky reached up and flicked another couple of switches, bringing up a light on the display in front of him.  
"And noooow... We're invisible. Nobody can find us" He said, the corner of his mouth curving into a smile. "I've officially kidnapped you" He chuckled. Zara let out a breath that could only be described as one of relief - times a hundred. She let her body relax into the seat, her man beside her at the controls and the whole world opening up in front of them...  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
Zara giggled to herself as she sipped whatever delicious, fruity drink the bartender had handed her. It had to be melon and lime, maybe a dash of pineapple in there? She had no idea. They'd flown to a nearby island where a huge party had been thrown, some sort of traditional festival near the beach. The local nightclubs had opened their doors and Bucky had gotten them into one of the more exclusive ones when he'd flashed enough cash at the bouncer. Zara stirred her drink with her straw, the ice clinking against the glass. She was careful not to spill any on her short, floaty white dress. Life was too short to not wear white she'd decided, besides, it showed her tan off and made her feel like a movie star. All those hours lazing around with Bucky on the beach in the sun had certainly paid off.  
Bucky had made a quick dash to the men's room, Zara waiting for him out on the dance floor, not wanting to miss any action. She smiled to herself as she danced, thinking of their past three weeks, they'd done everything he'd promised. Even given the swimming thing a go which had started out with her hanging onto him for dear life, much to his amusement, and ending with her eventually swimming independently. They'd even gone snorkeling down in the reef, Zara surprised at just how balanced and graceful he'd been underwater. She'd assumed that he'd find it hard, especially guessing how much heavier his metal arm was compared to his flesh one, but once again he surprised her with just how adaptive he was.  
  
Lots of things about him surprised her, she'd enjoyed getting to know him away from the chaos that was their day to day life at Shield. Relaxed Bucky was a whole other person it seemed, he was so much fun to be around, and she was sure she'd never laughed so much in her whole life.  
"Hey there" Came a husky voice as she was hugged from behind, a familiar metal arm holding onto her tightly.. Zara giggled as she playfully tried to push him away, feeling his lips on her neck, kissing her, his teeth finding her earlobe.  
"Look what I found..." He purred, holding a Polaroid camera in front of them.  
"Oh my god, where did you get that!?"  
"Oh, that is a secret, Miss Jones" he chuckled, "now smile..." he added, holding it up in front of them with his flesh hand and taking a few snaps. She felt him kiss her cheek, snapping another couple of shots. Zara giggled, it seemed that 'exhibitionist Bucky' was making another public appearance. She felt his metal fingertips tracing her collarbones and tightening at the base of her neck for a moment.  
  
_Such a poser._  
  
"Now close your eyes and kiss me..." He whispered. She grinned and obliged him, feeling him reach out to take another snap of them, making her laugh when she pulled away.  
"Keep those eyes closed" He said, "I have one last surprise for you. Trust me."  
  
Zara nodded as she felt him take her hand, and put the photos in it. She smiled nervously, biting her lip, her brow arched.  
"Count to three, and then open them. I'll be back for you, Zara. Don't you worry about that..." He said, dramatically, turning her body and letting her go. She giggled again at his antics, counted to three silently, and opened her eyes. She looked around, not really sure what she was looking at and suddenly she was a little annoyed. She blew out a breath, noticing that her drink was gone, maybe he was getting her another. She looked over towards the bar, and couldn't see him. Her heart picked up its pace a little, she didn't like suspense, and Bucky usually knew better than to put her in these kinds of situations. Maybe it was the whiskey, she could smell it on him when he kissed her just now...  
  
_But Bucky didn't have a whiskey, he had a cocktail with me... Unless they're serving them in the bathroom.._  
  
Zara's stomach knotted as she looked back over to the men's room door in time for Bucky to step out, giving her a smile and a wave. Suddenly she felt sick as she peered down at the photos in her hand, picking the top one up off the pile and giving it a shake. If Bucky was just coming out of the bathroom, then who the hell had she been kissing? She peered back up to Bucky who'd picked up on her worry from across the room and was quickly making his way over to her.  
Zara's eyes drifted back down to the photo she'd been shaking, the picture developing quickly before her. She covered her mouth and let out a scream, tears leaking from her eyes. Bucky ran the last few steps, concern on his face as he read her terrified reaction. Wordlessly she thrust the photos at him, watching his face change from worry to rage as he gripped her around the wrist and ran from the club, dragging her behind him.  
  
There was a fresh jet cloud above them, spurring Bucky on even more as they made their way to their own Jet. The doors popped open, Bucky getting in and then pulling her in, checking the radar to find it empty.  
"FUCK!" He cursed, slamming his hands down on the dash, making Zara jump. He was so angry he was shaking as he pushed the button to close the doors and activated the radio controls.  
"Stark, this is Barnes, come in" He said aggressively as he flicked through the photos, pausing when he came to one, looking over at Zara, trembling in the seat beside him. He let out a breath, catching eye contact with her, only for her to look away, tears still coming from her eyes.  
"Hey..." He said, turning her face with his flesh hand.  
"I'm so sorry, I thought he was you... She stammered, pulling a tissue from the travel pack she'd shoved under the seat.  
"Don't you dare be sorry, that fucker tricked you, and I'm going to slit his throat...I'm going to make him BEG me to slit his throat..." Bucky said, his voice dangerous. Zara's lip trembled as she blotted her eyes.  
"He has a metal arm the same as yours, I stupidly assumed nobody else had one, it didn't even occur to me till afterwards that it was on the wrong fucking side... I'm so stupid!" She fumed, "I don't blame you for being so mad-"  
"I'm NOT mad at you, Zee. This isn't your fault, okay?" He said, leaning over to kiss her, wiping her cheek with his thumb. "Guy with a metal arm comes up behind you and starts-" He paused, jaw clenched, letting out a breath to calm himself. "Well, what were you supposed to think? It's not your fault."  
  
He made another radio call, both of them buckling themselves in as Bucky got the jet airborne, not nearly as smoothly as usual.  
  
"DAMN IT STARK, ANSWER ME!" He snarled into the radio for the third time.  
"Fucking hell Barnes.. Do you have any idea what time it is!? What's going on!?" Came Tony's tired voice through the loud speaker. Zara looked over towards Bucky who was in full 'scary boyfriend mode' as they accelerated through the sky at an almost sickening speed.  
"I need you to track a jet near us, I've deactivated stealth mode" He said, hearing Tony groan in the background.  
"I've got you guys, but nothing else in the area, except for commercial flights... Might make it easier if I knew who I was looking for?" He said, after a few moments, sounding tired and bored.  
  
  
  
"Grant Ward" Came Bucky's reply, his voice full of venom. "He found us, and he threatened Zara."  
"Shit, is she okay?"  
"I'm fine, Stark" She croaked out, blotting her eyes with the tissue again. "Just a bit rattled. I don't know how he found us, we did everything right."  
"Sit tight honey, you're safe with Barnes. You guys get your asses back here and we'll track the son of a bitch down, and take him out." Tony said, bringing their co-ordinates up on an interactive map.  
  
Bucky let out a single chuckle, a cold, remorseless look on his face. His eyes shot up to meet Zara's and he let out a breath as he reached over to tighten her safety belt, pulling the loose end on each of the shoulder straps hard, making her gasp.  
  
"No. He's still close. I'm going after him, and when I find him I'm going to rip his fucking spine out..." He snarled, hitting the stealth mode switch again, wiping them off the grid.  
"Hold on, babe..." He said, watching her as she gripped her harness, giving him a nod. He rolled the jet on its side, turning aggressively and forcing it into full speed, sucking them both back into their seats as he followed the clouds that had been interrupted by the other jet.  
Zara jammed her eyes shut, trying to block the situation out. She'd been promised time away from the field until she'd gotten a firm hold on all her skills, and here she was being literally thrust back into it. Her heart raced and she found herself clenching her jaw, trying to settle herself. She already was a bit of a nervous flier, and here she was stuck in a stealth quinjet doing high-speed aerobatics with a super soldier at the wheel. A super soldier that someone had pissed right the fuck off...  
  
She opened her eyes, glancing over at Bucky, that look of determination on his face sending a shiver down her spine. She definitely didn't envy Grant Ward right about now. His expression softened when he realized she was watching him. He straightened the jet and reached out to take her hand.  
  
"You okay over there?" He asked, noticing the color had drained from her face. She nodded, swallowing her nerves as best she could, her hands still gripping the harness tightly.  
"Hey..." He said, his voice soft now as he reached over to take her hand, giving it a squeeze. She closed her eyes and blew out a breath, opening them as she turned to face him.  
"Are you with me?" He asked, his blue eyes looking into hers.  
  
"Always..." She breathed, getting her bearings back again. She gave his hand a squeeze, earning a smile from him which seemed to give her the strength she needed  
  
"Good. Lets go get this asshole..."  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaay, we made it to the end! This installment was so much longer than Reckless, I was almost going to cut it into two but meh. What the hell. It is what it is, lol. Just want to say a huuuuuge thank you to everyone who read my fic, to everyone that hit the kudos button or left me a comment. Thank you as well for being so understanding as there were a few mistakes I had to go back and fix. I had a terrible accident this year and sustained a very nasty head injury that involved me loosing a huge chunk of my memory - I actually had to go back and re-read both fics several times to pick up on everything that had happened, and work out where it was going, lol.  
> So thank you for bearing with me, I appreciate it more than I have words for, and it's been really therapeutic! A few of you sent me messages asking if I'm doing a third part, and I thought - why the hell not? So that's why I've set it up the way I have :) Will get to writing it, and will have a chapter 1 of the new installment up soon!  
> Thanks again, love you all! -Kaytee xoxo


End file.
